The Cardinal and the Raven
SUMMARY: An exotic songbird perches atop the fountainhead in the Phantomhive garden, flaunting his beautiful red wings in the hopes of attracting a soul mate. Looking on are two butlers. Grell wonders if Sebastian could ever accept the reaper's true colour.
GENRE: Angst/Romance
RATED: PG / K+
NOTABLE CONTENT: Suggestive Themes & Brief Mild Language
PAIRING(S): (Slight) Grell/Sebastian. Mentions of Grell/William & Grell/Madam Red.
COPYRIGHT NOTE: I don't own Kuroshitsuji / Black Butler
STORY TAKES PLACE IN: Jack the Ripper arc. Manga & anime references.
COMMENTS: This idea came to me because occasionally I suspect Grell's subdued butler persona was not always an act. I'm positive Grell relished his time running wild with Madam Red, but sometimes I also wonder if Angelina was not the only half of Jack the Ripper who felt lost, lonely, and unhappy from time to time.
I hope you enjoy this story! :)
The Cardinal and the Raven
Aiselne P.N.
Grell found the ebony-haired butler sitting atop the stone steps of the Phantomhive estate's backyard garden. It was quite a picturesque sight. Modest rays of sunlight peeked through the grey sky. The area's greenery beautifully contrasted red roses in bloom, whilst a lush, bird-twittering forest engulfed the majestic manor's background. And within the grand centerpiece of it all sat that handsome devil of a man who was lovingly stroking the twitching ears of a black, velvety cat nestled in his arms.
The sight effortlessly sent the brunette butler's heart aflutter, so much that Grell feared Sebastian might hear the beats.
"Might I assume the young master has finished entertaining Lady Elizabeth and now wishes my services?" Sebastian unexpectedly asked, eliciting a surprised hop from the smaller butler. Without halting the massage of his cat, the Phantomhive manservant turned to where Grell stood by the manor's rear entrance. "He needn't send you to fetch me, Mister Grell. You and the Madam Durless are currently our guests, after all."
True to his butler persona Grell stammered timidly, shaking his head and causing a few extra strands of chestnut-dyed hair to loosely frame his face. "O-oh! No, Lord Ciel didn't send me. He and the ladies are still in the drawing room. Last I saw, um…Lady Elizabeth was attempting to model for a picture she wanted Ciel to sketch. Madam is instructing them both; how Elizabeth should pose as a proper lady, and how Ciel should properly capture her image on canvas."
Sebastian could just imagine the debacle. "I'm afraid Madam Red and Lady Elizabeth's efforts will be for naught. The young master's artistic abilities are scarcely above his dancing."
Grell smiled impishly. "Evidently…I'm no better off with a pen. Madam threw me out after I accidentally spilt a vial of ink—" Based on the subtle narrowing of Sebastian's eyes, Grell knew what the black butler feared most. "N-not a drop stained the carpets, fortunately! But…it went all over my lady's dress instead. Miss Mey-Rin is currently washing it and found a clean dressing gown for Madam to wear in the meantime." That, and poor Angelina had to bathe because some ink seeped through her outfit's fabric and tainted her pristine skin—which Grell knew vexed his lady more than the soiled dress. He groveled for his life after that escapade.
Fiddling with his gloved hands, the clumsy brunette sighed. Grell knew better than anyone not to test the limits of Angelina Durless' wrath. "So here I am…outside…attempting to 'stay out of trouble' before I make 'an even bigger mess'…as Madam put it."
The news was no shock to Sebastian's ears. The widow Barnett's manservant was the most disaster-prone person whom Sebastian ever met (and that said something, considering his subordinate Phantomhive servants left daily paths of destruction). It was a miracle the young butler lived as long as he did; if Grell did not die by his own foolishness, the feisty Madam Red might do the honours. Thank heavens that Grell's butlership was nothing like Sebastian's: conflicts with the literal and metaphorical underworlds, fulfilling the death-defying tasks of his master, and so forth. Granted, Sebastian Michaelis had a significant advantage over all other run-of-the-mill servants. But Grell could not serve a cup of tea without hurting himself! This cruel world was most unforgiving to weak, innocent people like Grell Sutcliff, if the recent string of ghastly murders in Whitechapel were any indication.
Although, Sebastian was not daft enough to think Grell was quite as helpless as he behaved—often a tad too helpless to be believable, and Sebastian had seen a fair share of unbelievable things in his eons-old existence. Besides, Madam Red would never have hired, nor kept, Grell if he was completely useless.
Doctor Durless' innocence had been doubted from the start of Jack the Ripper's investigation, long before Ciel and Sebastian even considered her all-too-innocent little manservant. Nothing could be proved (yet), but the raven-haired devil was beginning to smell a rat, especially when Madam Red requested Sebastian personally "tutor" her inept butler. And now, for all Sebastian knew, Grell's alleged ink-spilling was a convenient ploy to escape Ciel's eyesight and keep tabs on Phantomhive's black shadow.
The demon suspected far more behind Grell's mousy exterior. Sebastian had yet to place a finger on precisely what Grell was, but right now Sebastian felt he had more pressing matters to tend to, namely his dearest kitty Darjeeling.
"Um…you like cats, Mister Sebastian?" Grell's voice was barely a whisper, clearly unsure whether or not he should speak or mind his own business. But it was difficult not to be curious, watching the Phantomhive butler behave so casual amongst his feline friend. Was it even proper for a servant to play with animals?
Whatever the case, Sebastian looked utterly adorable. Grell could not keep a small smile off his lips. The brown-haired man cocked his head whilst admiring the sight. "She certainly seems to have taken a shine to you. Cats aren't nearly as affectionate as dogs…a-at least, that's what I've heard."
Sebastian nodded. "Indeed. But once a cat's heart has been earned I assure you they are plenty affectionate." To prove his point, Sebastian gently hoisted Darjeeling close enough for her whiskers to tickle the man's cheeks. The butler and cat's noses shared an Eskimo kiss, punctuated by the sweetest mew from Darjeeling. Music to Sebastian's ears.
Jealousy broiled within Grell, still standing off on the sidelines, forgotten, watching Darjeeling get all the action that he himself wanted. Lucky pussycat.
"Sadly, my master is rather adverse to cats," sighed Sebastian as he returned Darjeeling to his lap, gently resting her head on his knee. "What a shame it is for allergies to prevent someone from appreciating as beautiful a creature as this, would you not agree, Mister Grell?"
Green eyes blinked when Grell realized he was not as forgotten as he thought. "Oh! Y-yes. Such a shame." But the greatest shame was how a ridiculous disguise prevented Sebastian from appreciating the more beautiful creature standing beside him. Grell loved performing, especially at the expense of humans' naivety, but he loathed pretending to be a meek man whilst in the presence of Sebastian's attractiveness. And the longer he spent with Sebastian, the harder it was for Grell to resist the urge to throw caution to the wind. But the butler of the Queen's watchdog was the last person to whom Grell could afford unveiling his true identity. Must Ciel's manservant be so devilishly gorgeous?!
"That is why I can only visit Darjeeling in private, whenever I get the slightest moment's reprieve from my duties," admitted Sebastian, his face sporting a discreet amount of disappointment that Grell never saw before. The affair reminded Grell of two lovers meeting in secret against their families' wishes. Romeo and Juliet. Oh, how Grell was well acquainted with star-crossed romance.
"Young master has made it quite clear that he does not want cats anywhere on the Phantomhive premises." Not that Ciel's wishes stopped Sebastian from keeping his closet full of kitties. What the lord did not know would not hurt the servant. "So you see, Mister Grell, it would have been most upsetting to learn that the master had indeed sent you to fetch me away from here."
Frankly, even if Ciel had ordered him to retrieve Sebastian, Grell doubted he could have the heart to tear apart this little scene. Grell craved a guy who was tall, dark, and handsome. But seeing this softer side of Sebastian's personality was…precious.
"You needn't worry, Mister Sebastian," Grell reassured gently, taking a brave step closer, daintily folding his hands behind his back. "I…I won't tell a soul about this matter. Your secret is safe with me." He of all people knew how to keep a secret.
That was when Sebastian turned to offer his thanks to the lesser butler. But before Grell could savour the taste of Sebastian's attention or smile…
"Meorrw!"
Darjeeling inexplicably pounced off Sebastian's lap, startling even him. No sooner did she scamper towards the nearby iron-barred gate that isolated Bard's vegetable garden. But before Sebastian could stop her from tampering with tonight's meal, Darjeeling's sprint halted right before the gate, as though she knew she was not permitted further. How intelligent cats are!
That, and the object of Darjeeling's interest had perched upon the same gate, too high for the cat to do anything but sit, watch, and wait for its prey to open an opportunity. The brown-feathered bird knew better, of course.
Darjeeling enjoyed chasing birds just like any other cat, another aspect of her personality that Sebastian found uncompromisingly cute. Up and off the steps, he closed the small distance Darjeeling made, Grell hesitantly following behind. The gate was tall enough to tower over the Phantomhive butler by several inches. Unafraid of the height, not to mention the feline predator below, the little bird must have felt on top of the world. But the avian did not take as kindly to the approaching butlers—both the bird and the stalking Darjeeling high-tailed away into the woods before the big bad "humans" could intervene.
"Oh dear, I think we spooked the poor thing," Grell noted the obvious, a tad forlorn as he watched the bird's tan wings flutter into oblivion.
Sebastian was more disappointed at losing Darjeeling, but she always returned. Better for him not to get too much cat fur on himself, lest Ciel start sneezing the moment Sebastian reentered the mansion. He and Grell should return inside, anyway.
But then came a soft gasp, accompanied by an even softer whisper, "Wait! Mister Sebastian, look!"
Grell was staring elsewhere, and when Sebastian peered in that direction he saw why. A short distance away, perched atop the garden's fountainhead was another bird. Darjeeling was not in sight, which was a pity because even Sebastian figured she might have enjoyed this new bird's appearance. Unlike the earlier avian visitor cloaked in brown, this bird's feathers were dyed in a bright scarlet, including its beak, with just a few facial markings in black. Its crest was stylized with an aerodynamic flare, and its tail barely doubled its body length. For such a small creature, the bird was truly a stunning sight to behold.
Without realizing it Grell clasped his hands before his chest. "How beautiful!" The debut of this new and more colourful bird had resurrected the brunette's smile. Never before had he seen a bird, or any animal for that matter, that bore such a gorgeous shade of red. And to Grell Sutcliff, there was no lovelier a colour.
"Ah yes," spoke Sebastian, albeit admiring the bird to a lesser extent than his companion. "I believe that is one of the cardinals which Lady Elizabeth gave my master last Christmas. She considered the colour appropriate for the season. That particular male and female pair was imported from the States, but neither was domesticated, much to the dismay of the master's fiancée. So my lord agreed to let the couple live in the estate's woods. Lady Elizabeth will be happy to know that they are in good health."
"Quite," Grell nodded, his glistening eyes glued to the beautiful bird, the first time all day his dreamy sight was not fixated on Sebastian. Being a safe distance away, the cardinal did not appear as skittish as the previous bird. Just the opposite, this animal was more concerned with personal grooming, using its crimson beak to sift through its ruffling feathers. Grell thought the bird looked plenty attractive as it was, but there was no telling such to the prissy pecker.
"It appears you are rather fond of birds, Mister Grell." The addressed butler made another startled jump, finally reverting his gaze to the ebony man who observed him. There was an inquisitive look on Sebastian's handsome features. A white-gloved finger absentmindedly rubbed the taller manservant's sculpted chin, and his lips curled in a subtle smile of admiration. So unaccustomed to the attention (from Sebastian Michaelis, no less!) the colour of Grell's cheeks rivaled his feathered friend.
This time, Grell's flustered stammering was void of all acting. "O-oh! No! I…I mean, y-yes! Yes!"
Sebastian chuckled lightly. If there was one thing he knew (without any doubt in his mind) about Grell Sutcliff, it was the shorter man's blatant infatuation. The demon found it a guilty pleasure to unsettle someone so innocently yet effortlessly. "Which is it then?"
The black butler was teasing him, which should have been Grell's jurisdiction. It was not that he minded being teased by such a hunk (quite the contrary~!), but Grell always felt more comfortable being the one to take initiative. Too rarely was he on the receiving end, and when such rarities transpired he felt like a fish out of water, the breath taken right from Grell's lungs. Sebastian's sexiness did not cool the redhead's engines, either.
After swallowing, Grell somehow found his voice. "Y-yes, Mister Sebastian," he corrected, forcing his eyes away in a feeble attempt to regain composure. At least if Grell could not stare at Sebastian he could stare at that darling cardinal. The creature made the sweetest-sounding chirps. Such a musician!
Grell spoke truthfully to Sebastian; he was not the most avid of animal lovers, but the death god often found animals to be no less likable than grubby people. It was a little known fact that animals harboured cinematic records of their own, some of which were not nearly as disgusting as those of certain human beings.
Naturally, the brunette preferred specific animals to others. Grell abhorred bugs like any girl, butterflies being his only exception. He was too vain to appreciate pigs, or any creature that happily lived in filth (people not excluded). Then there were some animals that made Grell truly wonder if the gods on high really were high when designing such strange, often freakish-looking creatures. The shark with the hammer-shaped head was one such design that Grell could not fathom. Everything in nature was modeled for a purpose—all gods respected that much—but what was "practical" and what was "fashionable" were two very different things. Grell was not the biggest fan of humans, either, but at least people were evolved enough to develop ways to minimize their ugliness. Animals simply did not care about beauty.
Yet, there were some animals that did not need to fret about beauty because they already were beautiful. Case in point, the Phantomhives' cardinal. Not only was the bird pretty to look at, but it also pampered itself and moved ever so elegantly, every flutter of its wings sheer poetry in motion. Birds were graceful, quite tranquil to watch. It came as no surprise to Grell why bird-watching was a favourite pastime of someone else he knew.
"I don't mind birds," Grell admitted, still watching the cardinal in the distance. In Sebastian's eyes the brunette suddenly seemed to become also distant. "An old…friend of mine enjoys their company from time to time as well." A sad smile tugged his lips without Grell's consent. "The irony of it all is that he's usually so cold to anyone he meets." Me especially. "Yet he's surprisingly gentle with his carrier pigeons. I…I've seen him smile at them when he never smiles at anyone else—"
Grell had to stop himself. Oh, how he missed his William.
In the two years since he met Madam Red and joined her crusade Grell had significantly distanced himself from his friends in the grim reaper realm. He still frequented Shinigami Dispatch, completed missions and filed paperwork—especially altering the death ledgers to compensate for the women he and Angelina illegally murdered. Management too easily got on Grell's case if he neglected his workload, so he could not afford to abandon everything for Madam's sake. Jack the Ripper would not have gotten so far otherwise.
Being a god, Grell could dart from one world to another, alternating between his reaper duties and butler duties, but smaller (social) sacrifices were made. It felt like centuries had passed since he and Ronald last enjoyed a Saturday night out at the pub down the street from Dispatch. Grell often wondered about Eric and Alan, especially how the latter fared with his illness. The last thing Grell wanted was for Alan to take a turn for the worst, especially whilst Grell was off gallivanting in the human world.
And then there was William. Grell was not stupid enough to think he had not garnered some suspicion from his hawkeyed boss. If anything, Grell getting his work done was more apt to make Will think the redhead was up to something. But Grell had covered his tracks too well, and Dispatch's manager had too many other obligations that required his scrutiny. With William off his back, Grell and Madam Red only had to worry about their identities being unearthed by the Queen's guard dog.
Grell knew his affair with Angelina would not last forever, but he hoped to savour it for as long as possible. And yet, the butler felt guilty when he occasionally fantasized about getting caught, not by Scotland Yard, Ciel Phantomhive, or Sebastian Michaelis, but caught by William T. Spears. It was not because Grell wished to be caught per se; he merely wanted William to come find him, to be the prince who retrieved his naughty princess. Regardless if William gave him the worst punishment imaginable (that was guaranteed), Grell would have been satisfied in knowing that Will had consciously sought him out—proving that Will did care.
But it had been two years. Grell still saw William during his flyby visits to Dispatch, but the black-haired reaper seemed unfazed as always. Did Will even notice Grell's distancing? Was there not a lack of red in the office? Did it not strike William as odd that he was no longer being subjected to Grell's seductions? Or had these past two years been a godsend for William T. Spears, finally liberated from the flamboyant menace who incessantly molested him since their graduation from Shinigami Academy?
Maybe William was happier without Grell.
Maybe all of Dispatch was happier without the obnoxious redhead around. It was unfair to lay the entire blame on Will when there were other reapers—friends—who could come find Grell at any time. But everyone had their own obligations to contend with. The world did not stop just because one rogue reaper was undergoing a particularly difficult time in his life. In spite of the wonderful memories he made with Madam Red, Grell saw his self mirrored in Angelina—the self, the woman whom Grell Sutcliff always considered herself to be, yet nobody ever acknowledged. And if there was no hope for Madam Red, his mirror image, to find happiness, what hope was there for Grell?
Maybe Grell was meant to be alone after all.
"You seem melancholic, Mister Grell. Was Madam Red's berating over your ink-spilling so harsh?"
Sebastian snapped the brunette from his depressing train of thought. Grell's head immediately bolted upwards, though he could not recall lowering it in the first place. And why was his eyesight inexplicably blurry, even with his glasses on? Bloody hell, the reaper wanted to curse aloud, appalled by the moisture that had accumulated in his eyes. Grell blamed his being in the company of weak humans for two years too long.
Alas, Grell knew Sebastian noticed and there was no point denying otherwise. As always, the actress opted to perpetuate her poor, innocent butler façade. "I…I suppose you're right, Mister Sebastian," Grell choked, mentally screaming at himself for being so pathetic. Blinking away the scant tears, he then peeked at the adjacent manservant. "That is, I suppose I am downcast, but it's nothing to do with my lady's rightful lecturing."
The Phantomhive butler did not ask personal questions. There was a difference between investigating a person's ulterior motives (or alter ego) and being plain nosy. But he was intrigued by Grell's subdued countenance. Grell was not the most happy-go-lucky of servants, especially compared to Finny, Bard, and Mey-Rin's eccentricities, but the quiet brunette usually reserved a shy smile for Sebastian. Now, Grell's face looked lonely without it.
Perhaps Grell was lonelier than he realized. He scarcely spoke of William to Madam Red, even though the Ripper duo kept few secrets amongst themselves. It was not that Grell was trying to be deceptive; he just never saw the point in discussing Will to Angelina. She was too tormented by Vincent Phantomhive's memory, and the last thing her unstable mind needed was to hear Grell's own sorry tale of unrequited love. Madam Red was remarkably more attractive when she was saturated in blood, not waterworks.
Away from his fellow reaper mates, unable to talk with Madam Red… Grell did not ignore the potential affinity between him and Sebastian. Neither man was a "true" butler, though Sebastian upheld the title better than most human servants, never mind Grell. Phantomhive's butler stank like a demon, but only on Sebastian was the aroma as enticing as those exotic, forbidden drugs peddled by Mister Lau. Gods and devils did not (or should not) mix, but taboos never discriminated Grell from a handsome face.
But for now, speaking simply butler-to-butler, Grell found it rather nice to stand beside Sebastian and feel some type of bond between them. If Grell had his way he would escalate their bond into something more passionate. Of all the things the shinigami expected to happen when he joined Jack the Ripper, Grell never counted on meeting someone like Sebastian Michaelis. The shinigami so nearly came to terms with his masculinity, becoming man and manservant to his lady, but now… Sebastian's mere presence was a reminder why Grell embraced femininity in the first place.
The Barnett butler's mouth opened to speak his mind, but Grell silenced himself when a far better sound resonated from the cardinal. Chirps and tweets harmonized into the most darling song, enchanting Grell into smiling away his sadness. The melody alternated from a variety of tunes—lively, solemn, et cetera—as a true test of the animal's musical expertise. It was as though the songbird poured every possible emotion into its heartfelt symphony.
"Such a beautiful singer."
Sebastian's words provoked Grell to nod in agreement, although it was not long before the smaller butler double-checked. The dark-haired man remained near, seemingly closer than Grell last recalled, but not an inappropriate proximity by any means. Frankly, Grell was more piqued by the glance Sebastian gave him, a ghost of a smile on his dastardly lips. If Sebastian had indeed been complimenting the bird's singing voice, why was he staring at Grell—?
The brunette's face flourished brighter than the cardinal's wings. Grell would not have been the least bit surprised if his blush outshined his natural hair colour. Sebastian actually liked his singing?! True, Grell had always been proud of his voice, even though it was like the rest of his body—not feminine enough for his tastes. But like everything else, Grell rarely received such compliments. He was too stunned to stammer.
A faint chuckle echoed from behind Sebastian's closed lips. Whatever were the true intentions of Madam Red and her butler, Sebastian had to admit that Grell Sutcliff was an amusing fellow—especially when he was not wreaking havoc across the manor. Out of harm's way, in a tranquil setting, Grell was almost as favourable as Tanaka (the only Phantomhive servant who never tested Sebastian's patience). Maybe it was because Grell harboured a supernatural aura like (though not identical to) Sebastian's, but even the latter felt some type of affinity for the shorter man. If Grell were smart he would drop those clandestine intentions with Madam Red and forever stay a quiet, cute little butler.
Both men knew that would never happen.
The cardinal's song ended, thereafter the bird returned to grooming underneath its wings, the action almost resembling a bow. Grell would have clapped applause if he did not fear the noise might scare off the animal. It felt unfair for the bird to be denied the praise it rightfully deserved, though. Grell knew all too well how disheartening it was to be neglected, especially after trying so hard.
Sebastian noticed his companion's demeanor return to gloominess. Something was weighing on Grell's conscience, though Sebastian doubted he would be lucky enough to squeeze out a confession from Madam Red's probable accomplice.
"You inquired about my melancholy, Mister Sebastian," Grell breathed in a sigh, although Sebastian thought it sounded more like a sigh of relief. Only now had Grell realized how little he spoke from the heart during the past two years. He was comfortable with Madam, to the point of confiding his gender's vexations. She never rolled her eyes or gagged when Grell admitted to wanting children, because Madam Red of all people understood. But matters like love, longing for a man one can never have…those were not subjects Angelina handled well, and Grell had no patience for a lachrymose woman.
But there Grell stood, dressed as a butler yet behaving like a sad little girl in need of someone hear her grief. Oh indeed he had spent two years too long in the company of weak humans, pretending to be a weak human, no less. Grell could not afford the line between his "acting" and his "personality" to become blurred. He sunk low enough when he agreed to assist Madam Red.
"The truth is…how shall I put this?" Grell paused, trying to find the best words without appearing totally pitiful, butler charade or not. He raised his eyes to find the cardinal, seeking inspiration from the charming creature. "Well, look at that bird, for example."
Curious by the odd change in subject, Sebastian's crimson eyes blinked before peering ahead at the avian, proudly showing off its small plumage. The bird was not putting on a performance for the butlers, though, but Grell obviously thought so.
"That cardinal is beautiful," complimented Grell with a sad smile. "It gracefully, unabashedly flaps its wings, and its colour is simply magnificent—a most ravishing red, so alluring, so feminine." Surely Grell could not be the only soul who adored the bird's attractiveness, right? Else, the cardinal would not be the first red-wearing beauty to be underappreciated. At least the bird did not have to hide its gorgeous redness underneath a guise of pathetic, lackluster brown. "And yet, the poor dear is all alone…"
The shorter manservant cut short his monologue when he heard an unexpected chuckle from Sebastian. "Pardon me," apologized the other butler, meaning no harm. "But I find it amusing that you used the word 'feminine' to describe that bird's colour."
Grell gave him a blank expression. He was terrified to ask, "You…y-you don't find red to be a womanly colour, Mister Sebastian?"
"Personally I find red a bit flashy," confided Sebastian, though his voice lacked any scorn. "Though please do not misunderstand me; I mean no insult to Madam Red. If anyone is the embodiment of red being a 'womanly colour,' it is she."
Within the recesses of Grell's sealed lips sharpening teeth chewed his tongue. Madam Red was not the one insulted at the moment. But better for him to keep his mouth shut, lest the grim reaper blow his and Madam's cover. How every fiber of Grell's being longed to show Sebastian the finest example of red's feminine wiles!
"But you see, Mister Grell," continued Sebastian. "The only cardinals bearing such bright red feathers are males."
In his shock, Grell absentmindedly bit his tongue a tad too deeply, causing the butler to yelp. Not wanting another Grell-related accident on his hands, Sebastian was quick to offer a handkerchief to slow the bleeding tongue. Alas, Grell dared not find out how he may react to inserting something of Sebastian's into his mouth. Thank God for reapers' rapid healing abilities.
Attempting to regain himself, Grell's green eyes widened towards Sebastian. "Surely you jest!"
Sebastian did not find the matter nearly as shocking. Although, he supposed Grell would equate red with females, considering he and Madam Red seemed so close. "I do not lie," the ebony-haired butler replied honestly as always. "In many bird species it is the male that sports extravagant colours and patterns in order to attract a female. Her colours are much duller by comparison."
Glancing towards the forest momentarily, Sebastian also pondered, "I do believe the brown-feathered bird we saw earlier was this cardinal's partner. I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if he's been grooming, singing, and flaunting himself all this time to attract his mate." Looking back at Grell, Sebastian's faint smile returned. "So you see, Mister Grell, neither bird is 'alone' as you fretted."
Grell's wide eyes blinked slowly behind his thick spectacles. He hoped Sebastian was correct. It would have been too sad to know that such a gorgeous red creature was all alone in the world, though Grell certainly could relate.
Then again, Grell was in Sebastian's company. Red or brown in colour, the reaper was not technically alone at that point in time. Granted, Sebastian had yet to become his. Grell always felt lonely when some degree of distance was between him and another man. Even now, Sebastian a mere foot away, Grell wanted more: for the black-haired man's arms around him, or even just holding hands. Angelina was not a regrettable first venture with women, but Grell knew where his truest passions lied. Grell wanted a man, and he wanted the man standing beside him.
But the question remained: did Sebastian want the man standing beside him? For the moment Grell was not a ravishing red woman, just a plain brown butler. And there were no guarantees that Sebastian would be interested in either side of Grell Sutcliff.
The shinigami did not consider himself transparent, especially considering his acting prowess. But somehow, in some way, Sebastian seemed to sense Grell's dilemma…and was perhaps using that dilemma to dig scant information out of Grell. Both butlers had to be careful not to push the envelope, lest too much information be brought into the open. Still, the next words from Sebastian's mouth were simply…perfect.
"And not to argue with you, Mister Grell," started Sebastian, his voice to Grell but his eyes to the scarlet cardinal. "Your lady certainly carries the colour red beautifully, but I do believe this bird proves that red can look just as fetching on a male as it does a female."
Maybe Sebastian did know Grell's true identity after all. Maybe not. Whatever the case, Ciel's impeccable manservant certainly had hit the nail on the head. For as long as Grell could remember he considered red a testament to femininity—his femininity. He just did not feel like his true self if the world saw him as anything less than a woman. It never occurred to Grell that he could be equally appreciated as a man. Sebastian certainly did not seem to be complaining, did he? It could have all been a ploy for the handsome devil to unearth Grell's innermost secrets. Grell could just as easily be falling into Sebastian's trap whilst he fell for Sebastian's heart.
But honestly, Grell did not give a damn. He threw his arms around Sebastian before either butler knew what hit them. Not even the stunned demon knew what to make of Grell's behaviour. The brunette was overcome with the intense desire to show Sebastian the truth: how his arms held a red death god who was every bit as beautiful as a woman, and as a man. A lonely little reaper had lost her way, and her mind, whilst trying to find her place in a socially ignorant, unforgiving world. The solace Grell found in Angelina was gradually fading, he feared he lost Will, but now Grell found something new and special in Sebastian Michaelis.
Ideally, Grell Sutcliff wanted to be appreciated for his true colours, not just the flashy redness of a woman, but also the redness of a man whom Sebastian openly thought to be equally attractive. Because the shinigami would never become a whole female, no matter how agonizingly the truth broke Grell's heart.
His glasses pressed against his shut eyelids as Grell buried his face into Sebastian's lapel. Grell's unpainted lips puckered to give Sebastian's warm chest the most discreet of kisses, followed by a blissful whisper of thankful affection. "Sebas-cha—"
"Sebastian!"
The flustered fluttering of wings broke their silence as the cardinal finally took flight, undoubtedly due to Earl Phantomhive's shouting. Both butlers looked up to the second-floor where Ciel poked his head out of the drawing room window. Elizabeth and Madam Red's voices could be faintly heard in the background, telling the boy to sit down and finish his fiancée's drawing. But as always, Ciel gave the orders instead of following them.
"I told you to prepare tea and sweets and have them delivered to the drawing room for three o'clock. It's three-fifteen!" Although, his butler doubted Ciel was as annoyed with Sebastian as he was annoyed with himself for humouring his fiancée and aunt all afternoon. Two ladies against one boy were not fair odds, after all, especially when Ciel was accustomed to being Her Majesty's top dog, not underdog. Phantomhive had to take out his frustrations on somebody, unluckily for Sebastian. "Stop playing outside and get to work!"
Once again Grell had to force his teeth not to sharpen. Bugger off you spoiled brat! He wanted to grab those sweets and shove them down the scamp's throat just to shut up Ciel, but such would have been grossly out of character for the mild-mannered Barnett butler. Nevertheless, Grell had finally gotten a remotely intimate moment with Sebastian! Why must it be ruined?! Fate was cruel.
"My sincerest apologies, sir," Sebastian answered Ciel, though it sounded more like kowtowing in Grell's ears. However, Sebastian had a butler-charade of his own to maintain. "The tea and sweets shall arrive momentarily. I will even include a lemon chiffon pie as compensation for your waiting."
The drawing room echoed a high-pitched squeal that could have only come from Lizzie. Sebastian was not stupid. The topic of sweets, cakes, and pies always excited Ciel's sugar-high lady, and the giggly Lady Elizabeth immediately became enough of a distraction on Ciel's hands. The poor boy was yanked back into the drawing room, assaulted with girly gushes about favourite confections and recipes Lizzie dreamed of baking for her future husband-to-be. Was a marchioness even allowed to set foot in a kitchen?!
Although, Grell could not help but chuckle softly. He was not domestic by any means, either, but every future wife dreamed of cooking at least one wonderful meal for her husband, right? Too bad demons did not eat food, although Grell knew other ways to feed a man in the bedroom…
"Grell! What are you doing down there?!" It was the brunette's turn to be scolded as Madam Red made her presence known at the drawing room window. But contrary to Angelina's temperament, when Grell looked up into her red eyes he saw the woman's cheeky amusement. Grell was, after all, still latched onto Sebastian. And never one to turn a deaf ear to gossip (or a blind eye to the obvious), Madam knew all about her butler's crush. "I do hope my butler is not behaving too handsy with you, Sebastian~"
Funny, coming from the woman who once casually touched up Sebastian's arse (and oooh, how that drove Grell crazy! He heavily suspected Angelina's spectacle was for his benefit, no less). She knew how Grell felt about her nephew's manservant—why not let Grell enjoy himself?!
"Merely a misstep, my lady," Sebastian's voice suddenly replied, much to the bafflement of both Grell and Madam Red. The wide-eyed reaper looked up into the taller man's face, speechless yet curious to know why Sebastian concocted an excuse for Grell's actions. "It appeared Mister Grell was not feeling like himself and required my assistance. The both of you being our guests, I certainly cannot deny the famed Phantomhive hospitality."
Funnier, coming from the man who once requested that if Grell sought his eternal rest he should do so outside to avoid soiling the manor's interior. Still, Grell appreciated Sebastian's discretion. The demon did not necessarily lie about the brunette's condition, either.
"I take it you are feeling better now, Mister Grell?"
Realizing he was still grappling onto Sebastian, Grell finally extricated himself, profusely apologizing in his sheepish voice. "Y-y-yes! Of course! Thank you, Mister Sebastian."
Phantomhive's black-haired servant smiled all too innocently for his devilish aura. "Think nothing of it. Even those birds required a momentary perch to rest before resuming their usual selves." But before Grell could react to the man's words, the Queen's guard dog barked once more for his butler's attendance. After bowing courteously Sebastian added, "Now then, if you will excuse me."
Grell did not want Sebastian to leave so soon, even if duty called. Just listening to Sebastian's shoes clap further away made the grim reaper feel lonely again, even though he could now feel Madam Red's presence. He briefly peered upward where his crimson accomplice stayed by the window, keeping an eye on her manservant—making sure Grell did not make a mess, or rather, making sure Grell did not spill the beans. She need not worry. Grell simply wanted a little more time to spend with Sebastian…
Jack the Ripper's contradictorily-coloured eyes locked, two criminals whose pain outweighed whatever suffering their victims underwent. Madam Red did not trust Sebastian whatsoever, and she did not feel comfortable knowing her sidekick was getting the hots for him, either. Still…Angelina Durless knew plenty about unrequited love. Grell's suffering in silence never fooled her.
Just this once, Madam Red offered her butler a small but understanding smile, accompanied by a coquettish wink that told Grell, "Go get him, girl!" Grell Sutcliff did not need to be told twice.
"Sebastian?"
The taller man paused just as his hand fingered the manor's threshold. Peering over his shoulder, Sebastian's gaze returned to the brown-haired servant. Grell's face once again bore that smile that seemed only for the Phantomhive butler. Indeed, Grell looked much better with it.
Politely folding his hands before himself, Grell smiled warmly. Perhaps it was due to the brunette's improved mood, but Sebastian could have sworn Grell's voice suddenly sounded steadier; no stammers, no second-guesses. His tone was slightly deeper, too, yet strangely more effeminate. Sebastian did not ignore the lack of honorific Grell used to address him, either.
The irony of it all was that, though Grell wanted to spend all day speaking sweet nothings into Sebastian's ear, at the moment all the shinigami could say was, "Thank you. Truly."
Sebastian Michaelis did not expect compensation for his work, except for the inevitability of devouring Ciel's soul. A simple thank-you was meaningless, words only mortals could find value in, yet he had to admit that Grell's gratitude was appreciated. Evidentially, the ebony demon had also spent two years too long in the company of humans.
Sebastian nodded his own thanks. "My pleasure, Mister Grell."
The pleasure was all Grell's. Giggling softly, the shorter man then fiddled with a loose strand of his brown-dyed hair. "By the way…you…you needn't be so formal with me." He acknowledged British etiquette, all part of his acting, but Grell would go mad if someone (especially Sebastian) called him "mister" one more time. Sadly in his current form, Grell could not expect Sebastian to drop the "-ter" and say just "Miss Grell," so the reaper chose the next best alternative. "'Grell' is fine."
Such familiarity was not Sebastian's forte, but he supposed there was no trouble humouring another fellow butler, especially when both butlers were more than met the eye. He and Grell had more in common than Sebastian cared to find out.
"As you wish, Grell," Sebastian replied and then departed before Ciel hollered once more.
It was a shame to see Sebastian go, but now Grell did not feel nearly as sad about being left alone. Angelina was still watching him with that motherly look on her face, making the butler blush minutely. Today had not been one of Grell's finer moments, but at least some good had come out of it. He liked to think he and Sebastian became closer, and that maybe there was hope for their future together. Matters were bound to become dicey once Jack the Ripper was brought to light, but afterwards? Not even a death god could predict the future, but Grell suddenly felt more optimistic than before.
Grell noticed Madam Red averted her eyesight to something close by. Following her gaze, the reaper's smile broadened upon finding not one but two cardinals nestled in a nearby rosebush. The brown female and the red male did make quite a pair.
It gave Grell hope that once he accepted his own colours, he could set his sights on attracting a raven.
The End
A/N: Truthfully, I do respect Grell as a woman, but sometimes I think he's so wrapped up in being womanly that he doesn't give his gender as much credit as it deserves. Man or woman, Grell is wonderful. And gorgeous. :)
FYI: I don't lay claim to Darjeeling whatsoever—the black kitty appears in a Grell/Sebastian doujinshi by Kurimonakaya (*loves*). Whether or not "Darjeeling" is actually a canon-named kitty I can't say. I just adored her name and stole it for my own evil purposes. Kurimonakaya's works have greatly inspired me of late. :3
Thank you very much for reading. What did you think of my first all-dramatic Grell/Sebastian story? Please share your thoughts in a review.
