Guys, I`m sorry for spelling mistakes) I guess, I need someone who will help me in my English :D
Seeing him in bedroom was like standing on the hatch, which was about to open right beneath her feet. Her head split into billions pieces after past events, and the cockroaches tickling her own skull from the inside, so she wasn`t disposed to any conversation, and if it concerned older Salvatore she could easily forget about rest. But all these thoughts were far from the reality, which is spread her arms out to her.
It could be anger or rage, could be next sarcastic comments about Stephens softness or scathing reviews about their relationship, which he compared to the laziest and useless amoeba. It could be everything, but just not those words that fell from his thin lips, responding a deaf echo in her head. A murmur was in unison with blood pulsation in her temples.
"I have to say it once, you just need to hear it."
It`s look like the beginning of something irreparable and wrong. She wasn`t scared, no, not in any way. He was so impermissibly close, the contrast of his skin against her felt too strongly, and she could only focus on the necklace in Salvatore`s hand, which, probably, contained the saving her from something catastrophic. An avalanche? No, large forest fires.
"I love you Elena."
Probably, she should take a breath artistically, cover her mouth with hand, damn it, at least show some sign that she understand meaning of these words, feeling the weight of the phrase. But she doesn`t even have force to look away from these crystal-blue eyes which were overflowed with feelings and emotions. She understands that by "love" he doesn`t mean "to suffer", "not to sleep at night," "walk in circles," but "care," "protect," "breathe." He completely disarmed himself in front of her, handing over (trusting) weapon which can finally put an end to his existence. And this was enough, because lump squeezed her throat like steel hoop.
"And it's because I love you that I can't be selfish with you, and why you can't know this."
That strange tingling in fingers… Where did it come from? As if she has put her hands in the bucket with ice. (Just look at her, someone open the soul in front of her, but she feels just tingling in fingers.) She doesn`t want to know how much he needs to make efforts to voice all these painful words (painful for both of them). God, does he think that it's all will bring him relief? It will become more difficult with time, because the hook had already caught on the skin, went too far, and any movement will only pick that wound, causing not the best feeling in the world that will pump, pump, pump ...
"I don't deserve you… but my brother does."
Was there moment in your life when right words span in your head like some stupid melody, just about to become a sober sentence, which can rescue both of you, but your lips are disobedient at this moment? And she can just open and close her mouth like a small fish that inhale oxygen. She just wanted to close her ears with his hands, lie back in bed, cover herself with a blanket and forget everything that happened today, to become Elena Gilbert like before, who would twist her finger at a temple, if someone proved her the existence of supernatural forces.
The most bitter in this situation..
The most bitter that she takes it, sharing all the pain that comes from him.
He is stepping closer. Stepping so close that the thought about possible kiss, which will later burn on her lips no matter how hard she want to get rid of it, slips in her head. But cool lips touch her forehead. And it`s not some comical intimacy, but something truly pure and bright, like a wedding dress of the bride, and it can be understood only by them and only at this moment.
"God I wish you didn't have to forget this…"
She fights with the urge to cover his hand, which touches her cheek so naturally and easy like the way it should be. But she doesn`t stop him and tilts her head toward his touch. She wants to close her eyes just for a damn moment, but this phrase makes her look at Damon with misunderstanding and unexplained alarm.
"But you do."
A hallucination. An optical illusion. Some crazy tricks of own mind. Anything, but not that heavy and crystal tear on his dark eyelashes, which quickly rolled down his cheek, as if that tear was fleeing from itself.
Breathe in. The ice wave, which was pressing at her all this time, rolls back, she stops sinking. Her hand rises to the neck, her fingers grope medallion with vervain. Relief? Flight is late for a few minutes. She blinks, looking around her room worriedly, as if any of those ugly shadows in the room could hide an unwanted guest. One more deep breath. She feels that tears are ready to fall down and it will be really painful, it`ll hurt like hell.
When one hand grasps a cool medallion, another slipped into a pocket of pajama shorts, where fingers touch the dry branch of vervain.