Anyone else here besides me craving a Mary Sue parody?
*Lifts head proudly and looks around*
… No?
Anyway… I hope you enjoy this (hopefully) parody of mine. Basically everything should be a parody. I'sabella's writing and I'sabella's story in general should have some parody in it. Bella's reaction is some a) comments on just the sentence-paragraph in general, or b) advice. Sort of. Actually, (heh), I hate to admit it… but most of Bella's reactions are from mistakes that I noticed in my own writing… XD
Also, the A/Ns are from I'sabella. Not from me.
((This)) is poor Bella's reaction. It is indeed bolded.
Isabella Leah Evans looked up at her ceiling and sighed wistfully. She was seventeen years old, and she absolutely loved Lord of the Rings.
Or rather, Legolas. You couldn't see her wall for pictures of them. She sighed again, turning over so that she could kiss her pillow cover (decorated with doodled hearts over the faces of Legolas)
It was eleven o'clock A.M, and she was not ready to get up. Well, maybe she was a bit hungry, but she had shaken it off so that she could think about the two LOTR characters and decide which was her true love.
With an almighty sigh, she threw her covers off and stood up on her slim legs. She dressed in a fashionable t-shirt and new jeans, then sat down at her computer and clicked on her email bar.
She had three hundred new emails. A great day! She smiled and clicked on the first one, which was titled 'Look at wat i found!', and skimmed through the message.
OMG OMG, u hv got to c what I found!1!1! gues what, im makng FANFICITON!11!2! 4 realz! Srisly, its SO COL, u cn't belevie it!
Grumbling, I'sabella scrolled downwards. Her cousin was so bad at writing.
Wondering if this 'Fanfiction website' were so hyped up as it seemed, she copied and pasted the link into the hotbar. Immediately, she was greeted by her cousin's page, but after a few minutes of surfing, she had decided to make a fanfiction account.
She clicked 'create account', and immediately set about customizing 'ReallyAwesomeLotrGal' with a profile. She made it absolutely clear that she was only writing about LOTR. She would write about no other.
Then, she started typing, her tongue between her teeth.
I'sabella Enoby Sally Reyna Rose Cheryl Anna F'elica Jordan blinked open her beautiful violet-blue-silver eyes and sighed, a melodic sound.
((What is wrong with my name?))
She suddenly looked around, fearful that her captor might have heard her. Unfortunately, he had. She cried out as he walked over and slapped her hard. He then drew a knife out and said, "Shut up, lady. Next time I'll throw you out in front of my carriage.."
He walked away, leaving Bella pressed against the wall. She had been his prisoner for years now, and she was waiting anxiously for rescue. Not that it would come, of course. (A/N : Wink wink! :D)
((Sure. Nobody can guess what is going to happen…))
Bella waited for him to leave, then looked out the window. She barely saw the flash of white fur that meant her faithful wolf was behind them. She smiled, enhancing her beautiful features.
((…I have a faithful wolf pet. Great.))
She then stood and stretched, since there was enough room to in the large caravan. When her captor was gone, she could at least do that. He already kept enough from her.
((Like…? You know what, I don't want to know.))
Isabella smiled and tapped her fingers thoughtfully against her chin. Now that the horrific backstory was done, she could progress to her romance part. She typed a few more lines on how awful Bella's life was, then paused and sipped from her water glass. She stretched her fingers, and then placed them on the keyboard.
His voice cracked like a whip, and Bella cried out as he hit her. "I warned you!" He hissed, and grabbed the back of her dress, throwing her off the caravan. She looked up at him, fear showing in her violet-blue-silver eyes as he drove the horses straight toward her. Some pain, a shrill laugh, then there was nothing.
((Okay…?))
The rasping wetness of a lick was what woke her, and she struggled back to consciousness like a fish out of water.
Isabella copied that line and pasted it into an email, sending it to everyone she knew. She absolutely loved that one line. It was perfect…
Now she needed to describe her. She would look like herself, of course. She wanted to be that girl.
She looked like a regular maiden in distress. Her pure golden hair was absolutely perfect, even though she had just been in the dust, and she had absolutely no scars or wounds, even though she had just been run over by horses and a caravan. Her new, beautiful dress looked like it had just been out of the washing machine.
((What's a washing machine?))
Bella cried out, hoping for help, even though she was pretty sure it wouldn't come. She began to sob, cuddling her wolf, Luna White.
((Great. I can do absolutely nothing about this…))
Suddenly, a thunder of hooves startled Bella, and she twisted around, her face lighting up as she saw a white horse bearing down toward her. She stood up and waved her arms, calling out, "Here I am! Help!"
((…*facepalm* So the white horse is automatically good?))
Sure enough, it was a handsome warrior, with long blond hair and… pointed ears! Bella gasped, sure that this was an elf.
((Again. The ears (which Tolkien never even mentioned) are now the defining characteristic of elves.))
His sky blue eyes lit upon Bella, and she felt their souls connect… she could never be without him…
((Whatever his name was.))
Isabella yawned. She hadn't realized how late it was, and she still had homework to do! She checked her watch, and then decided she could do it later. Whatever, homework was not as important as this. With a smile, she continued working.
The elf-man put his arm out and allowed her to swing up onto the horse's back. Bella practically melted against him.
((What? Why did he let me get on behind him… without knowing if I was an assassin or something? Also… melted. Why would I melt against him? That would be… completely awkward.))
He spurred his horse forward, then began speaking. "I know, maiden, that you are the Chosen One, and you will save us from Sauron, so here, take this Completely Magical Amulet of Awesomeness from my bag. Put it around your neck, and you will be powerful.
((Yay! I'm the Chosen One! Now gimme that amulet! …No.))
Bella, her dainty fingers shaking somewhat, pulled open the bag and took out the first amulet she found.
((So there was more of them?))
She placed it on her neck, letting it rest above her chest while the chain pulled at her neck.
((Yay! I have a floating amulet! Also, let me refer this sentence to the Department of Redundancies Department.))
Immediately, she felt a surge of power. She could read the elf-man's mind! But she didn't want to eavesdrop on his mind, of all things! Instead, she contented herself with tapping him lightly on the shoulder.
"What's your name?"
The elf-man bowed his head and said, "My name is Legolas Greenleaf."
((Wait! No! Don't bow your head! You are riding a horse!))
Isabella giggled lightly from excitement. What an awesome cliffhanger! Bella was soooo awesome! She and Legolas would make such a good pair for romance – never mind that Legolas was an elf and Bella was a human; she would fix that later.
She uploaded it quickly and then turned off her computer, wondering if she'd have reviews in the morning.
So… Whaddaya think? :D :D
Please review, tell me what you think! I hope it's… alright… at least. I will update as soon as possible.
Remember, the review button is your friend. :3