Ma, Mom, Mother, Mommy
Dorothy sat in the waiting room looking around nervously, picking at her fingernail. She felt like just getting up and walking out but she knew she couldn't do that, this was too important. She had to keep telling herself over and over to not think the worst but, she was a worrier at heart.
Dorothy thought back to the Friday before when she felt a pain in her breast. It was just a small twinge, but as she rubbed the spot where it hurt she felt a small lump. Thinking it was a sore or a scratch, she took off her blouse to examine the area but found nothing on her skin.
"Guess I need to have that checked out," Dorothy said to herself putting her blouse back on. Making a mental note to call her doctor first thing Monday morning, she headed to the kitchen to make dinner.
Now, it was late Wednesday afternoon and here she sat trembling in the waiting room waiting her turn to see the doctor.
"Mrs. Starsky," the receptionist finally said her name. "The doctor will see you now, please come this way." Dorothy complied, following the receptionist named Nancy down the hall and taking a seat in the examining room.
"The nurse will be in here to ask you some questions before the doctor comes in, so just relax," Nancy said as she walked back out the door. "Relax", Dorothy thought, "that's easier said than done. How do I relax when I have a lump in my breast that could possibly be my worst nightmare?"
After a few minutes, a very pretty woman with blonde hair walked in. Dorothy had been a patient with Dr. Burton for many years and couldn't recall ever seeing her.
"Hi Mrs. Starsky, I'm MaryEllen and I just need to ask you a few questions," she said taking a seat across from Dorothy. "I see you are a patient already, so this shouldn't take long and then the Doctor will be in to see you."
MaryEllen went about taking Dorothy's blood pressure and checking her pulse. Just the normal routine and, as she did these things, MaryEllen asked a few simple questions about how Dorothy was feeling and what medications she was on.
"Alright, Mrs. Starsky Dr. Burton will be in shortly to see you."
"Oh please, just call me Dotty. All my friends usually do."
"Well, Dotty, it was nice meeting you," MaryEllen said with a smile. Dorothy watched her walk out the door, thinking how nice it was to see a new face around here.
Time felt like it was standing still and, just when she thought she would scream, she heard a small knock on the door right before the Doctor walked into the room.
"Well, hello there Dorothy, how nice to see you. It's been a long time," Dr. Burton said while reaching for her hand.
"Hello, J-John," she stammered. Dorothy always got so flustered around him. Still a very handsome man in his middle 60s, John was recently divorced after being married for 35 years. What must that have felt like to be with someone that long and then find out they had had an affair?
"Well," Dotty thought, "he probably won't be single long. Who wouldn't want to date a handsome Doctor?" Snapping back from her thoughts she greeted John with a hug, asking how he'd been.
"I heard about the divorce, John. I'm so sorry." Dorothy said.
"Thanks, but I'm doing quite well. It happens." he chuckled. "Now, what about you, why are you here today?"
"Well, John, I found a small lump in my right breast and I'm so worried about what it might be. I wanted it checked out right away," she said rather quickly.
"Ok, dear don't panic about it," John said to comfort her. "Sometimes it could be as simple as a cyst or just tissue."
Putting the stethoscope in his ears he checked Dorothy's heart and listened to her lungs. John asked her about any recent weight loss or loss of energy during the day. For some reason, those questions made Dorothy uneasy but she said she hadn't really noticed anything different. "Ok, Dot let's get you in a gown and see what's going on."
Wheeling his chair backward till he reached a cabinet, John pulled out a drawer that contained gowns. Plucking one out he handed it to Dorothy and told her to take off just her blouse and bra.
"I'll be back in just a few minutes," he said.
"Thanks, John, but please don't call me Dot. You know I hate that name."
"I know, I was just teasing you Dotty, just relax," John said in a light way.
Dorothy hurried to get undressed and put the gown on over herself. She didn't want anyone walking in while she was undressing. "Why is that?" she asked herself. "He's going to see your breasts anyway," she giggled.
A few minutes later Dorothy heard a slight tap on the door before it opened. She suddenly felt flushed, seeing this handsome man that she had known since Davey was a small boy, embarrassed she looked away.
"Alright, Dotty," John said. "I want you to lay down on the table and just try to relax. This will just take a few minutes."
Dr. Burton slowly felt around her left breast and then the right and when he felt the small lump he took a little more time pushing on it and asking her if it hurt. When she shook her head no he squeezed the nipple slightly and asked her again if it hurt.
Dorothy responded by nervously saying that it hurt just a little bit. Feeling around the nipple again and pushing on the tiny lump he finished and told her she could sit up.
"Well, there is definitely something there," John said. "Of course, we'll need to do a CT scan." As if he was reading her mind he smiled at Dorothy and said, "It's kind of like an X-ray but it lets us look deeper into the tissues. I promise it won't hurt a bit and it won't take long. It will be ok."
John patted her hand and his lingered on hers for a few seconds. Blushing once again Dorothy realized she was still naked under that flimsy gown and she wrapped her arms around herself.
John turned his back as if he was also embarrassed. He grabbed his chart and walked to the door, "I'll see you in a couple of weeks, ok?"
"Thank you, John," Dorothy said smiling at him.
"Your welcome. Do you have any questions?"
Closing her eyes Dorothy thought about it and decided she didn't have anything else to ask right now. She just wanted to go home and think about it all. "Not now John, maybe later when I've had time to think about everything," she replied shaking her head no. Dorothy then got dressed and went to the receptionist desk to get her appointment made.
MaryEllen came up behind Dorothy and patted her on the shoulder. "It was nice meeting, you Dotty. It is Dotty, right" MaryEllen asked.
"Yes, it's Dotty," Dorothy returned the smile. "And, it was nice meeting you too."
Dorothy left the office not knowing how she felt about all of this. There was so much to think about. She always put herself through hell when worrying about her boys but never had to worry about herself.
Once Dorothy got home, she made a sandwich and cup of coffee. The mail had arrived and she sat down to read it, worry still in the back of her mind.
There was a letter from Nicky, her son. Nicky was out of town most of the time now. She never knew what he was doing or where he'd end up. Just an occasional letter or phone call letting her know he was alright.
Her Davey was a different story altogether, such a good boy. Dorothy didn't like that he took after her late husband by joining the police force, but it was his calling and he did it well. She worried sick about him, too. But, most of the time Dorothy knew where Davey was and what he was doing, and he called her every week.
On the plus side, Davey had a wonderful partner and best friend who always watched out for him. After reading Nicky's letter she decided to call Davey, figuring he would be home by now.
Dorothy sat chewing her fingernail listening to each ring and wondered what or if she would tell him about the lump. After the seventh ring, she hung up, feeling somewhat relieved that he didn't answer. She knew she would need to talk to him eventually, but just not right this minute.
Now, she sat wondering what to do next. The day was catching up to Dorothy, she was feeling anxious and just needed to speak to someone, to hear another voice so she didn't feel so alone.
Suddenly, Dorothy knew who to call, reaching into the desk drawer to retrieve her address book. Dialing the number, she waited anxiously, hoping for an answer, breathing a sigh of relief when she heard the friendly hello on the other end.
"Hi, Edith, this is Dorothy, Dorothy Starsky. How are you?"
"Well, Dorothy my goodness what a surprise to hear from you! I'm fine just fine. How are you doing?" Edith said, sounding excited to hear her friend's voice.
"Oh, Edith I am so glad you are home. I really need a friend right now, someone to talk to." Dorothy said, her voice quivering.
"Well dear, you know I'm here for you. What's going on?" Edith pulled out the kitchen chair and sat down to listen to what her friend was about to tell her. Feeling Dorothy's uneasiness, she silently started praying it wasn't anything bad.
Dorothy began telling Edith about the lump, the visit to the Doctor, and the tests to be done. "Edith, have you ever heard of something called a CT scan?" Dorothy asked.
The pause on the other end told Dorothy that Edith was thinking about this. "No, I haven't what is it? It sounds scary."
Dorothy tried explaining to Edith exactly the way Dr. Burton's receptionist explained it to her. When Dorothy finished, she realized that it really didn't sound that scary after all.
The phone grew quiet, Dorothy was afraid the line had been broken between the two, "Edith are you still there?" Dorothy asked.
"Oh yes, I'm still here. Sorry I was just letting it all sink in. I'm not sure how well you are handling this right now but I'd probably be a mess. Have you talked to anyone else about this? What about David?" Edith asked with concern.
"I tried to call Davey, but he wasn't home. I'm not sure if I should talk to him until I know something more. The Doctor said it may turn out to be nothing, so why worry him if I don't need to, right?"
"Well that's true," Edith said. "But you know how upset he would be if you don't talk to him. When are you having the tests done and how soon will you know the results?" Edith asked.
Dorothy picked up the papers in front of her, looking at the date. "I have to go to the hospital Friday morning. I don't know how long it will take for the results to come in. John, umm, Dr. Burton said sometimes it could be up to two weeks, which seems like a lifetime now that I've said it out loud." Dorothy nervously giggled. "Oh God, Edith what will I do in the meantime? How will I get through the waiting?"
Edith, feeling every bit of scared as her friend, suddenly jumped up from her chair and said, "I know what you will do, go Friday and get those tests done. Then go home, pack a bag and come here for a visit. You need friends and family to support you and maybe it would be easier to talk to Davey about it if you are here. What do you think Dotty, how about it?" Edith asked, hope in her voice.
Dorothy felt a big relief at her friend's suggestion, wondering why she had not already thought of this. It had been so long since she'd seen her Davey.
"Oh Edith, I think that's a great idea! And, it certainly would be better than sitting around feeling sorry for myself" Dorothy said excitedly.
"Ok, then it's a plan," Edith answered with the same excitement.
"You can stay here with Harold and me, Rosie would love it. She just adores you!"
Dorothy was so grateful for Edith but she knew she wanted to stay with Davey, spend as much time as possible with him. "Edith, I'm so glad I called you! You've really cheered me up! Thanks so much for inviting me to stay with you, but I'm sure Davey would want me to stay with him."
Edith thought for a moment, "You're probably right about that and you'd feel more comfortable with David anyway. But, we can still have lunch and hang out when you get here. It will be so much fun."
The two ladies talked a bit more, but it was getting late and she needed to make plans. By the time she was through talking, Dorothy felt so much better, deciding it was time to try Davey again. This time he picked up right away and was surprised to hear his mother's voice on the other end.
"Hi Ma, how are you, is anything wrong?" Davey asked, realizing his mother didn't usually call him. Mother and son had agreed long ago it was better and more affordable for him to call her.
"Nothing is wrong, I just wanted to call and ask if this weekend would be a good time for me to come and visit?" Dorothy asked, trying to hide the fear creeping back into her.
Three thousand miles away, Starsky sensed the fear and a feeling of panic swept over him. Sitting the beer down he'd just opened, Starsky held the phone tighter and asked what was going on.
"You never just decide at the spur of the minute to come visit," he said, feeling as if there is something wrong. "Is it Nicky, is he giving you trouble again?
"No, Davey it's not about Nicky," Dorothy replied, trying to hide the worry that she knew her son was sensing. "I just want to get away for a while and haven't seen you in a long time. You know, a mother can come visit her son without there being something wrong."
"Alright, Ma I'm sorry. Of course, you can come, I can't wait to see you. Do you need some money for the plane ticket? I can have one waiting for you at the airport."
"No, I'm fine Davie, I've put some money away just for occasions like this,"she said a little too harshly. "I'll call you when all the arrangements are made."
Sensing her irritation and knowing something was wrong, Starsky decided to let it go for now. "Ok Ma, Just call me and let me know when your flight comes in and I'll pick you up. Hutch is here, he's excited about seeing you, too!"
"Hutch is a wonderful boy, like my third son," Dorothy thought to herself, tears forming in her eyes. She knew she'd better say goodbye before Davey heard her crying.
"I love you son and I'll call you back tomorrow with arrangements."
"OK Ma, love you too and see you soon." Dorothy could hear the worry and unease in her son's voice. She knew trying to hide this from Davey was wrong, but Dorothy just couldn't talk to him about it – just not now.
Friday came and Dorothy went to the hospital to have the CT scan done. She was actually relieved to get it over with and get on the plane to California. Seeing Davey will make her happy and maybe after discussing things with him will make it easier to get through.
Dorothy's plane touched down seven hours later and, just like he said, Davey was there waiting with Hutch. The tears started falling from her eyes the minute she spotted her boys. It was only then that she knew she'd done the right thing by coming here. Starsky put his arms around his mother and gave her a peck on her cheek while Hutch stood behind, waiting to give her a hug, too.
Finally, Hutch tapped Starsky on his shoulder and told his curly-haired partner to move so he could give her a big hug and kiss.
"How was the flight, Dotty?" Hutched asked. "I bet you're tired and probably hungry."
"Oh, just a little bit tired but not very hungry. They served dinner on the plane. A good night's sleep and I'll be as good as new," she said, smiling at her blond-haired son.
Once they got to Starsky's house he took his mother's bag into his room and went and got her clean towels to shower. She started to argue about sleeping on the couch but he wouldn't hear any of it.
"Now Ma, you take my bed and I will stay on the couch. I've slept here many times and it's quite comfortable. So, no more arguing, ok?" Starsky said lovingly to his mother, she agreed with a smile.
"Dotty, how about a cup of tea?" Hutch asked her while busy putting the kettle on the stove and gathering a few cups. Dorothy couldn't stifle the yawn she felt coming on but agreed that a cup of tea would be perfect.
"I think I'll take a hot shower first, that will freshen me up," Dorothy said heading to the bathroom. "And, Hutch you are like my son so how about calling me Ma?" Hutch smiled back at her, loving her request.
While she was in the shower Starsky sat down with Hutch, looking worried. "Hutch, I just know there is something going on with her. She doesn't just come for a visit out the blue like that."
Hutch rubbed his chin thinking he was in need of a shave soon. "Starsk maybe it's Nicky again. Maybe he's in trouble and she's here for help. Did she say anything about him?"
"No," Starsky answered, "she said nothing was wrong with him. He's out of town a lot but she doesn't know what he does anymore. He worries her so much, that's what he does!" Starsky said with anger.
"Well, Starsk I wouldn't worry about it. If there is something wrong she'll tell you in her own time. Enjoy the visit. Ok, buddy?" Hutch said rubbing Starsky's shoulder and going over to pull the whistling kettle off the stove.
After a few minutes, Dorothy came out to the kitchen feeling a little revived but still tired. It had been a long day, starting with the hospital visit and then the long flight. All she wanted to do was sit down and talk to her boys, have her tea and get a good night's sleep. Dorothy knew she would need to be rested and in a better state of mind to talk to Davey.
The next morning Starsky woke up to the smell of fresh pancakes and coffee brewing. He realized how much he has missed his mother in the kitchen. Memories of her wearing an old blue apron with the faded words "Kiss the Cook" on it and the smells enticing him out of bed came to his mind.
Starsky hurried into the shower and rushed getting his hair washed. Just as he stepped out he heard his mother calling to him that breakfast was done. "Be right there Ma! Just need to get dressed," he answered back.
Walking into the kitchen Starsky couldn't help but smile. His mother had everything all laid out on the table, bacon, eggs and homemade pancakes.
"I was hoping Hutch would join us for breakfast," Dorothy said putting the finishing touches on the table. "I made extra just for him."
"He'll be here Ma," Starsky said looking hungrily at the food on the table. "He probably just started out late."
As if on cue, in walked Hutch whistling. Going over to Dorothy he gave her a kiss on her cheek wishing her a good morning and commenting on how good it smelled in the kitchen.
"Well then, sit down Hutch I'll get you a plate. I was just telling Davey I was hoping you'd join us for breakfast."
"I wouldn't have missed your pancakes for anything," Hutch said as he pulled a chair out to sit. Looking at her boys eat and enjoying the food made her miss the days when her family was all together. Dorothy loved being a wife and a mother. Seemed like it was another lifetime to her now. Once breakfast was finished Dorothy stood and started gathering the dishes to be washed but Hutch wouldn't hear of it.
"Sit," he told her as he took the plates out of her hand. "Starsky and I will clean up. You relax and tell us what you want to do today."
"Well, "she started to speak but Starsky interrupted her.
"Ma, before we do anything I want you to talk to me. I know you are here for more than a visit so please just tell me," Starsky implored.
Dreading this moment, but knowing she needed to tell them both, Dorothy told them about the lump in her breast and going to see John. She found herself shaking and holding back the tears but she continued telling them she had a CT scan. Seeing the puzzled looks on both their faces, she let out a small laugh. "No need to worry," she said. "Really it was nothing. I just laid down on a table and went into a weird looking machine. It didn't take long and I never felt a thing. It was over before I knew it."
Starsky grabbed her hand and squeezed. The worried look on his face made her regret saying anything. "Ma when will you know?" Starsk asked her.
"John said it could take up to two weeks. I left your phone number with the hospital just in case they get them back while I'm here.
Davey," Dorothy said, looking at her son. "I am scared, but I don't want this to ruin our visit. I'll only be here a week so let's make the best of it, alright?" she asked.
Starsky looked over at his partner as if he needed assurance from him. Hutch just nodded his head and smiled, letting Starsk know everything will be ok. Starsky stood up and grabbed his Mother and pulled her out of the chair. He wrapped his arms around her in a big hug.
"Ma, I love you and we'll get through this no matter what happens. Everything will be alright ok?" he said with a husky voice, trying to hide his fear.
"You're a good boy Davey, I'm so happy I came," she said looking behind Starsky and seeing Hutch standing there smiling. Dorothy reached out pulled them both close to her. "I'm so happy to be here with both my boys."
"Ma we're taking you shopping. Let's go buy you something pretty." Starsky said, clapping his hands together.
Dorothy started to protest but she knew it wouldn't matter. Once her Davey gets something in his head that's it, so she went along with it. At the clothing store, she found a few dresses to try on and went into the dressing room with them. She hadn't had a new dress in years so this was such a treat.
After a few minutes passed Starsky started pacing. "Come on Ma, we want to see," Starsky said stopping to stand next to the dressing room curtain.
"Ok, Ok, I'm coming out now."
Dorothy came out wearing a blue dress with white flowers all over it. She looked so beautiful Starsky thought to himself. His mother was still as beautiful now as she was when she was a young girl. She certainly didn't look her age of 57. Although the way that Nicky worried her is surprising.
Hutch let out a whistle and said, "Wow! You look gorgeous Ma. You certainly will attract some attention with that dress!" He smiled and raised his eyebrows up and down at her.
"Hey, watch it there partner that's my mother you're flirting with," Starsky said as he playfully nudged Hutch out of the way.
"You really do look gorgeous Mom. Are you going to get this dress?"
"I'm not sure yet, Davie. They all look so pretty," she said walking back into the dressing room and picking up the other two she tried on before. "They are all nice. Which one do you boys think I should get?"
Starsky and Hutch looked at each other and back to Dorothy.
"All of them," they both said at the same time. "You don't have to choose, we'll buy all three."
"Oh, son, that's too much, no I'll just take the blue one," Dorothy said.
Starsky grabbed the dresses from his mother and walked up to the counter. "We'll take these two and the one my Mother is wearing," he told the clerk as he pointed to his mother. Dorothy felt the tears start to sting her eyes. She was so proud that Davie was her son. The love she felt for him just made her heart swell with happiness.
After they left the shop they went to Huggy's for lunch. She had only met Huggy once and found him to be quite a colorful character and she really liked him. Dorothy would like anyone that cared for her son and looked out for him. They found a booth towards the back away from the cigarette smoke, waiting on Diane to come take their order.
A minute or two later Huggy sauntered over to the booth. "What's happening my brothers?" He asked while smacking their hands.
Before either Starsky or Hutch could answer Huggy reached for Dorothy's hand. "Well, hello there Mama Starsky, it's been a long time."
"Hello, Mr. Huggy or is it Bear?" Dorothy asked with a twinkle in her eye.
"You, my dear can call me Huggy. So what brings you here to my humble establishment today?"
Hutch had been sitting there looking at one of the menus that were kept in the booths. Looking up he told Huggy that they were there for lunch.
"What? Now, why would you bring this beautiful lady here to eat? Don't you love your Mama Starsky?"
They all laughed at him as Starsky grabbed the menu from Hutch.
"Now Huggy, come on, everyone knows you make the best pizza in the city and that's what we will have, a large with everything."
"Alright then, if you insist," Huggy said turning to walk away. "One pizza with everything, including a side of Pepto," he snickered as he walked away.
"What a funny man," Dorothy said laughing.
Hutch just rolled his eyes and said, "Well that's one way to describe him but I don't think he was joking about that Pepto!"
Later that night after, Hutch had gone home Starsky grabbed himself a beer and went into his living room to sit on the couch. Dorothy who was now dressed in her nightgown and robe also grabbed herself a beer and sat down next to her son. Starsky noticing the beer in her hand looked surprised at her.
"Ma you never drink, what's with the beer tonight?"
"Son, that just goes to show you that you don't know everything about your old Mom. I have an occasional beer sometimes," she said. "When the girls come over for bridge we all let our hair down and go wild," she said as she took a big swallow of her beer and then belched rather loudly.
Starsky shaking his head and laughing at his Mother raised his beer and clinked with her in a toast. "Well here's to letting our hair down then!"
They sat and drank and talked about old times and how much she missed his father and of course about how Nicky worries her so much that she cringes every time the phone rings.
"Ma, you know maybe you should start dating again. They are lots of nice guys out there to meet."
Blushing from hearing that coming from her son she knew he was probably right, it has been so many years since Michael died.
"I don't know Davey. I haven't dated since high school. I wouldn't know how to act or what to do anymore."
"Oh Ma, it's not any different today as back then. It would come naturally to you if you like the guy enough to go out with him," Starsky said giving his mom a hug.
"Well, first things first," she said looking down at her now empty beer bottle.
Knowing exactly what she was thinking, Starsky kissed her cheek and whispered, "Don't worry Ma, everything will be alright."
Reaching her hand up to his face she squeezed him to her. "You are so right, son. It will be just fine. Now how about we get to bed? I want to go visit with Edith tomorrow"
The next day Starsky drove his Mother over to Edith's house and, after saying hello to Edith and the kids, he left to go hang out with Hutch. Edith and Dorothy spent most of the day in the kitchen drinking coffee and baking cakes and pies for a church benefit that Edith's church was having the next day. Dorothy was having such a wonderful time doing things she loved. Having Edith to talk to helped her relax and not worry about the test results.
After they were through icing the last cake Edith brought the subject up. "Dotty, how you doing with everything? Did you talk to David yet?"
Taking a sip of coffee and setting her cup back down she answered Edith with a sigh. "Yes, I told Davey and Hutch everything. They've been so good to me and I have to admit I do feel like the weight has been lifted. I'm still scared of course but I believe I'll be fine now. I have my boys and you behind me so, whatever the results are, I can get through it as long as all of you are with me," she smiled at Edith and touched the back of her hand.
Edith started to laugh slowly and then she grabbed her stomach when she started laughing even harder. Confused Dorothy looked at her friend strangely and asked, "What Edith, what's so funny?"
Edith opened a drawer under the counter and pulled out a mirror, handing it to Dorothy. Still confused, Dorothy didn't know what she wanted her to do with the mirror.
"Look into it," Edith said still laughing.
Dorothy lifted the mirror to her face and started to laugh too. She had flour all over her cheeks and her nose!
"Well don't I look a mess?" she said trying to wipe off the flour.
"Here," Edith said handing Dorothy a kitchen towel, "this will work better."
Both ladies were still laughing when Starsky walked in wondering what was so funny. "Ma, are you having one of your wild moments again?" he asked.
Seeing the flour on his mother's face and the smile hidden under, he rolled his eyes. "Guess so," he said, joining in the laughter.
Looking around at all the pies and cakes, Starsky licked his lips and tried using his puppy dog face to weasel a piece of either.
"Now, son, those are for the church tomorrow," Dorothy said still wiping away the flour.
Edith walked across the room and opened the refrigerator and pulled out a pie and set it down in front of Starsky. "You know I had to make an extra one for Harold. He wouldn't let me get away with giving them all to the church." she laughed.
As if he heard the door open on the refrigerator, Captain Dobey walked in and saw Starsky eyeing his pie. "Starsky," he growled. "Don't get any ideas, I get the first slice," he said pulling a chair up to the table.
They all sat and ate pie and talked and laughed. When it was time to go Dorothy gave hugs to Cal and Rosie and then to Captain Dobey. When she got to Edith she gave her an extra-long hug as she whispered in her ear, "Thank you, Edith, for making this a great visit. You are a wonderful friend."
Edith held both of Dorothy's hands, "You be sure to take care of yourself Dotty. I'll be waiting to hear from you and just remember I'm always here for you," and the ladies shared another special hug.
A few days passed and it was getting close to Dorothy heading back home. She still hadn't heard anything from the hospital. Starsky wanted to do something special for her before she left so he took his mother to the beach for a picnic. They spent the day swimming and laying in the sun talking about the past and the future.
"Mom, I just know everything will be fine. You know the old adage, no news is good news." Starsky looked over at her and smiled.
"Yes, I suppose that's true," she said quietly, "but I still worry. Son, what will happen to me if it turns out to be breast cancer? What would I do?" She started to cry and Starsky stood up and went over to her. Sitting on her chair, he hugged her and just let her cry. It broke his heart to see his mother like this. She was always so strong. Once she started to quiet down she dabbed at her eyes with the beach towel.
"Oh s-son," she stammered. "I'm sorry I went on like that. I guess I held it in too long and it just came tumbling out of me."
"Aww, don't be sorry Ma, maybe you needed to cry and get the frustration out," Starsky said smiling and wiping away a tear on her face. "Everything is going to be ok, I promise. We'll deal with it when it happens. You won't be alone Ma. You can come here and stay with me. They have the best hospital and it will be ok." Starsky felt the quivering in his throat but he didn't want her to know how scared he was, for them both.
Sunday came and Dorothy was all packed and ready to leave, Hutch was going with them to the airport. She hated to say goodbye to her boys but she needed to get back and talk to Dr. Burton. She needed to know if she had breast cancer.
"Now, Hutch, you promise me you will take care of my Davie and yourself. Don't let him worry about me," she said as she hugged him.
Hutch kissed Dorothy on her cheek. "I promise," he said giving her a big smile. "We will be fine. You take care too."
Starsky, stepping in between Hutch and his Mother wrapped his arms around her and hugged her like he would never let go. Choking back tears he whispered in her ear, "Ma, you call me when you get in so I know you are alright Ok? And promise me no matter what the results are you will call me right away, promise?"
"I promise son, right away. I'll call you," and she gently kissed her son goodbye. Dorothy boarded the plane with a sad heart and tears in her eyes, turning around and waving her goodbyes.
It was late when she made it home and she was exhausted. She decided to unpack the next day and just go straight to bed. Waking in the morning she dressed and went to the kitchen to make coffee and toast, her stomach in knots. She sat thinking about whether she should call the doctor's office since she hadn't heard anything. Finishing her toast she decided she couldn't stand it anymore and dialed the doctor's number. The receptionist picked up right away and she knew it was Nancy by her cheerful demeanor. Nancy was always happy and had a voice that sounded as if she was inhaling helium. Dotty loved talking to her and always left in a better mood after she did.
"Good morning, this is Dr. Burton's office how can I help you?"
"Hello Nancy, this is Dorothy Starsky. I was wondering if the doctor had time to talk to me today," she asked hopefully.
"Mrs. Starsky How are you? We have been trying to reach you for two days. I hope everything is alright."
Dorothy felt her heart drop and panic start to set in, her voice shaking she replied. "I was in California for the week with my son. Is something wrong?"
Nancy could tell that Dorothy was worried and quickly told her that Dr. Burton wanted to go over her test results with her.
"I left my sons phone number with the hospital so they could contact me. Why didn't they call me?" she asked.
"Oh, they wouldn't have called you, Mrs. Starsky. The doctor is the only one you need to talk to about results. Would you be available to come in tomorrow morning?"
"Yes," Dorothy replied, "but isn't there anything open today?" She heard Nancy rattling some papers and said, "No, I'm sorry. The doctor is pretty backed up today."
"Well alright then," Dorothy replied. "I'll be there in the morning. Thank you, Nancy, goodbye," she said and hung up the phone feeling scared and totally alone.
Not knowing what to do with herself for the rest of the day she decided to go to Pauline's house and let her know she was home. Pauline had been her neighbor and really good friend for over twenty years. Dorothy shared everything with her but she hadn't told her yet about seeing the doctor or about the lump. She didn't want Pauline fussing after her and treating her like an invalid.
Knowing where Pauline would be this time of morning, Dorothy went around to the backyard. Pauline loved plants and flowers and she had a real green thumb when it came to gardening, she had them everywhere. Dotty yelled out good morning as she made her way around the stone pathway that led to the back. Pauline, as usual, was there sitting at her patio table having her coffee and flipping through the newspaper.
"Anything interesting in the news this morning?" Dotty asked Pauline who seemed to be interested in some article.
"No, not really just the same old stuff. When did you get back?"
"Last night," Dotty responded while pulling out a chair and sitting down. "It was late and I was pretty tired so I went right to bed."
Pauline laid the paper down and looking over at Dotty. "Well, how was your visit with Davey? How's he doing?"
Dotty smiled at her friend, saying Davey was doing very well. "We had a wonderful visit and he bought me some new dresses."
"Good," Pauline said. "You needed some new ones. You never buy anything for yourself anymore."
"Oh, leave me alone Pauline," Dorothy said jovially. "I just never felt the need for shopping. Anyway, it was a great visit and I'm hoping to go again soon."
"Good for you, you should get out more. Now," Pauline said looking at Dorothy with concern. "Do you want to tell me what's really going on?"
Taken by surprise at Pauline's question she looked down at her hands and after a few seconds, she asked Pauline how did she know that something was wrong?
Pauline straightening herself up in the chair looked at her friend and said, "Because Dotty, I know you and for you to hop a plane to go see your son out of the blue like that tells me something is up. Now are you going to tell me or do I call Davey and ask him?"
Feeling cornered Dotty began to tell her friend everything. By the time she finished they were both in tears. Pauline got up and went into her back door without saying a word. She came back a few minutes later with a box of tissues and handed them to Dotty. They both sat quietly wiping there eyes.
After several minutes Pauline finally spoke. "Why didn't you tell me earlier, Dotty?"
Looking away from Pauline she said, "Because I don't want you to act as if I was already dying. Remember when I had to have my gallbladder removed? You wouldn't let me do anything for myself," she laughed.
"Dotty, you are one of my closest friends and you shouldn't go through this alone. Even if it's nothing you still must be worried to death about it. What time is your appointment tomorrow? I am going with you and don't argue."
Smiling at her friend, Dorothy knew there was no use telling her she can't go. Pauline was the most determined woman she knew and this was one time she was happy that she was. The next morning Dorothy got up and showered and put on one of her new dresses that Davey bought for her and went to the kitchen to make coffee. Her stomach was in knots and she had no appetite. She heard Pauline at her back door and got up to let her in.
"Are you ready to go?" Pauline asked her.
"About as ready as I will ever be," she said with a sigh.
"Listen," Pauline said. "I know you are nervous but let's just go see what is going on and then we will deal with it then. It may just be nothing at all." She put her arm around Dorothy and gave her a little squeeze.
"You may be right, Pauline. It's just scary and I've never had to deal with anything like this before." Dorothy said. "Well, let's get going and get it over with," she said grabbing her purse and heading to the door.
They arrived at the doctor's office and Dorothy walked up to the receptionist window.
"Good morning Nancy," Dorothy said with a smile. "You know why I'm here."
"Morning Mrs. Starsky. Dr. Burton is in with a patient so have a seat it won't be long at all." She went and sat next to Pauline and grabbed a magazine to flip through but she couldn't concentrate on anything so she sat the magazine back down. She sat picking at her fingernail and couldn't sit still. The thoughts rushed through her mind and she couldn't stop thinking the worst. Finally, MaryEllen came out in the waiting area and called her name.
"Good morning Dotty. How are you today?"
Dorothy wanted to yell out, "How do you think I feel!?" But she would never be rude like that. She liked MaryEllen and knew she was just being nice.
"I'm fine," she said, "just very nervous."
"I totally understand that. Please, come with me." MaryEllen said. Dorothy got up to follow behind her but Pauline pulled at her sweater sleeve to stop her. Dorothy turned around with a look of irritation asking Pauline what she wanted.
Pauline looked up at Dorothy asking, "Do you want me to go with you to meet the doctor?" She thought Dorothy might need support when she got the results.
"Oh, Pauline," Dorothy said feeling bad for being snippy with her friend. "I'm so sorry for snapping at you. I appreciate the offer, but maybe I should do this by myself. I'll be out soon." Dorothy smiled and thanked Pauline and then followed MaryEllen to the back.
Dorothy sat in a chair waiting for John to come in. She was so nervous that her stomach felt like it was in knots. She began to sweat and took off her sweater and laid it on the chair next to her. It wasn't long before she heard a tapping on the door and then John walked in. He reached for Dorothy's hand and greeted her with a smile and a hello.
"Well," he said, "let's get right to it because I know the wait was long and you are probably ready to scream." He sat down at his desk opening her file to take a quick final look.
"The news is good Dotty. The lump was benign so no cancer. You have a soft tissue tumor which basically means its fatty tissue. The tumor is harmless unless it grows to be too large and presses on a nerve."
John looked up to see if Dorothy had any questions. Dorothy looked over at John, not quite sure what to say.
She finally cleared her throat, "So, John, what you are telling me is that I'm alright and there is nothing for me to worry about?"
John got up from his chair and came around, perching on the corner of his desk closest to Dorothy. He looked into her face with a smile and said, "Yes Dotty, I am telling you that you will be fine. We will, of course, keep watch on the lump and if it grows then we'll go over a few options. But, until then you can stop worrying, all is OK."
"Oh John, oh thank you so much!" she said standing and giving him a hug. A single tear slid down her face but she couldn't move to wipe it away. Dorothy suddenly realized that she was still hugging John and let go. Sitting back down, she reached for a tissue from her purse and wiped the tear away. Looking up at John she felt a little embarrassed. "I'm sorry John, I guess the good news stunned me," she giggled.
John went back to his chair and sat down. "It's alright. I'm used to pretty ladies hugging me," he laughed. "Dotty, do you have any questions before you go?"
Dorothy still feeling a little red in the face shook her head no. "I think I have the answer I need, but I do want to thank you. You are a great doctor and a wonderful friend."
Dorothy headed to the door with John right behind her. He gently grabbed her arm, asking her to wait.
"Yes, John what is it?" she asked.
"Dorothy, I hope I won't be out of line when I ask you this, but would you consider going to dinner with me sometime soon?"
Taken by surprised she just stood there and stared at him. She tried to speak but began to stammer. Swallowing hard she was finally able to speak.
"Why John, I think I would like to have dinner with you," she smiled at him.
"Ok, that's great! I'll call you in a few days to make plans," John said with a huge smile on his face. He walked her out to the waiting room and said goodbye to her.
Pauline jumped up when she saw Dorothy coming out. "Well?" she asked looking at Dorothy.
Putting her arm through Pauline's she started to walk towards the door to leave. "It's not cancer Pauline! It's just soft tissue and I will be fine! I guess I had everyone worried about nothing." Dorothy said.
"Well, it wasn't for nothing," Pauline replied. "I would have been half out my mind if it were me."
As they drove back home the ladies sat in silence.
Dorothy couldn't help but smile. She had so much to be happy about, she didn't have breast cancer and she had been asked out for dinner. It certainly was turning out to be a happy ending she thought to herself.
After they returned home she told Pauline she needed to make a few calls but to come over later for some lunch. She wanted to call her sons and also Edith to give them her news. Davey will be so relieved she said to herself as she dialed the number to the precinct, hoping he wasn't out on a call. She asked for Det. Starsky and waited, lost in her thoughts she was startled when she heard his voice come on the line.
"Hello Starsky speaking, how can I help you?" he asked.
"Hello son, how are you?" she asked him.
"Hi, Ma. The question is, how are you? Did you find anything out yet?" Starsky looked over at Hutch who was sitting across from him with a worried look on his face.
"Davey, I'm fine. It was just soft tissue. John says there is nothing to worry about. I am so relieved Davie, I was so worried," she said, relief sounding in her voice.
"Oh, Ma, that's great news," he said as he gave Hutch a thumbs up sign. "Hutch and I were so worried for you Ma. Have you called Edith or Nick yet?"
"No sweetheart, I wanted to call you first because I know how much you worry about your Old Mama," she said with a laugh.
"I take after you Mom," he said smiling. "And who says you are old? You are still young and beautiful, can still make a man swoon." The phone grew quiet and Starsky thought they were disconnected.
"Ma, you still there?" he said.
"I'm here Davey," she said with a small giggle.
"What is it Ma, why are you laughing?" Starsky asked.
"Well, funny that you mention that I could still make a man swoon because… I got asked out to dinner."
Starsky almost dropped the phone and began to stutter. "W-w-what did you just say?"
"You heard right son I was asked out...on a date. I s that so hard to believe?" she asked.
"Wait a minute," Starsky said more to himself than to her. He stood up and began pacing in a small circle.
Hutch also standing, following Starsky's pacing, trying to find out what was going on. Looking at Hutch, Starsky put up a finger, signaling his partner to wait just a minute.
"Ok Ma, let's start over…who asked you out?" he asked, rubbing his brow where the sweat started to form.
Dorothy was in a teasing mood and wanted to give her son a little ribbing. "So, dear how is your day going? Have you caught any bad guys today?"
"Come on Mom tell me… who asked you out?" Starsky asked, pleading with her. "Why don't you want to tell me?" frustration creeping into his voice.
"Tell you what dear? Don't you believe me?" Dorothy said, feeling quite pleased with herself as she decided to keep him wondering.
Besides, she wasn't sure how Davey would feel about her going out with the family doctor, even though he was an old family friend. She didn't want to make a big deal of it…not just yet. After all, it was just dinner.
Hearing the doorbell ring she said, "Son, I'm sorry. someone is at the door and I need to go see who it is. I'll call you back tonight and we will talk then. I love you Davey," she said and quietly hanging up the phone.
Starsky, feeling frustrated with his mother, began to call her trying to get her attention not realizing that she had already hung up.
"Ma…hello… Ma you still there?" he asked. "Ma, Mom," he said again. "Mother, Mommy"? Starsky looked over at Hutch shrugging his shoulders not sure what to say anymore.
Hutch rolled his eyes at Starsky, walking over and taking the phone from his partner. Listening for a few seconds, a small smile appeared as he hung up the phone. "Starks, she's not on the line anymore, she hung on you," he said laughing.
Still laughing, Hutch grabbed his jacket heading to the door, Starsky following close behind.
"B-B-but Hutch," Starsky stuttered, "she said she got asked out…by a man! I gotta find out who it is right away! Hutch, did you hear me? Hutch! Huuuuuuutch!"