She came to me that night with the intention to kill. By that point in time my soul had become an irreversible blackened pit of anguish, and as she entered my secret hideaway and strode determinedly towards my stooped presence, I gripped the remaining piece of evidence that my heart was alive, once… and I silently awaited my fate. A heavy whoosh through the air was the only sound I registered before the tip of her whip cracked against the side of my face, leaving behind a nice sized gash if the copious amount of blood dripping down my face was anything to go by.

Of course, with my powers, I could have just as easily allowed the whip to phase through my body. But why even bother? I didn't feel the pain; my body had long since become numb to such a trivial sensation. The only thing I could do was continue tightening my grip on the headband I had retrieved amongst the wreckage of the war. Her voice broke through the hazy fog surrounding my thoughts.

"You bastard." It was barely more than a hiss, but I heard it. I could practically feel the venom dripping from her statement, the deadly intent solely aimed at me. I knew she was as heartbroken as I was, as devastated as I was, and I wait content to remain a willing dummy for her to vent out her anger.

"All of the people that died, because of you and your ilk."

The whip cracked again, this time against the outside of my forearm. Still no response from me.

"Yeegar."

Crack.

"Daisya." Her voice raised an octave.

Crack…

"Bookman… Tiedoll… Winters…" Her voice was hysterical.

Crack. Crack. Crack.

"Lavi," she sobbed. I flinched slightly; the grip on the strip of cloth was becoming painful enough to break through the numbness of my body.

"My little Lau Shimin." A particularly vicious strike followed.

"C-Cross." It came out as a gasp; there was no retaliating strike of the whip. I could hear her approaching footsteps and didn't bother tensing up for the inevitable collision. I could only stare dully into the sky as she straddled my stomach and began to repeatedly pummeled me in the face, alternating the hilt of her whip and her fist. My vision was becoming hazy; I knew that at the rate that she was slamming my head against the ground that I would soon encounter the sweet embrace of unconsciousness, and then hopefully death itself. I tightened the fist that held my heart once more, before panicking when I felt that my hand was empty.

Grabbing both of her wrists with a strength and ferocity that surprised the both of us, I immediately halted her attack and scanned the surrounding area for the headband. It slipped out of my grasp when she had previously knocked me down, and I made a somewhat desperate attempt to retrieve it, but she got to it first.

"Give it to me," I croaked, my voice crackly and raspy due to it being unused for so long.

"This was Lavi's," she whispered in mild shock. "What are you doing with this?"

"Give. It. Back." I managed to successfully snatch it back from her. Almost as soon as I touched my prize, my entire body reverted back to its original state of numbness, and I fell back onto the ground clutching it to my chest.

"What are you doing with it?" she repeated. When she tried to take it away from me, I smacked her hand away.

"It's all I have left, and it's the only thing I will not allow you or anyone to take from me." I could not remember saying the words aloud, but from the apparent shock on her face, I must have said something. Her facial expression changed from shock to dawning comprehension.

"It was you?" Her voice was incredulous, her eyes tightened in disbelief. "You were the one that Lavi was having secret rendezvous with during the war?"

I said nothing. There was no point in saying anything. It wouldn't make any kind of difference in the end. I just wished that she would hurry up and kill me.

"It doesn't make sense. Why?"

Why? Why had we fallen in love? Why did we risk our lives multiple times so that we could be together and declare our feelings the only way we knew how?

"He said you loved him. He said you were worth the risk of dying because he knew you felt the same way. If that's true, then why did you KILL HIM?!"

I snapped. Roaring in complete fury I tossed her off of me as if she weighed nothing, as if she didn't even exist. Before her body made contact with the ground, I snared her by the throat and brought her face to face, so that she could truly see and grasp the pain that I suffered every waking moment.

"I didn't kill him. Don't you dare say that ended the life of the only one that was able to elicit such an emotion from me." I shook her violently, my fingers leaving purplish bruises from the vice-like grip I held around her neckline.

She reached up with both hands and grasped the collar of my shirt, her mouth opening and closing several times as she struggled to speak. Eventually she was able to simply mouth one word repeatedly, eyes shining in unshed tears and pent up emotion, and once I became aware of it, I collapsed, her body trapped under my dead weight.

Whywhywhywhy.

I could no longer control the actions of my own body. My body wracked with sobs against my will. An unearthly wail escaped my lips without my consent. My arms wrapped around my body although I had not commanded them to do so.

Wait… Not my arms.

Her arms.

I was confused, my brain reeling with the mixed signals that I was surely receiving.

She came to kill me. She's here to kill me. I did so many things to so many people… My losing Lavi was not enough punishment for all of my sins. Why is she not killing me? Why am I not dead yet? My body hurts, my heart hurts…. My head hurts. It's all too much. Too much…

I decided I no longer wanted to think.

Instead, I allowed my instinct to take over, so I wouldn't have to think anymore. So I wouldn't have to be aware of the nothingness of life.

And I found myself kissing her.

And what's more, I found her not resisting or pushing me away. Instead she responded with such a fervent passion, almost as if this is what she really needed all along.

As the Noah of Pleasure, I was normally one to take my time and savor a particularly pleasurable encounter. But not that time. It wasn't about pleasure at all, but more of an intense need to fill a void that was rapidly consuming my entire being every passing moment.

Our clothing was shed in a matter of seconds.

We remained on the floor; touching the bed seemed like it would be too much of a betrayal to the one I loved. In one swift movement, I entered her, not really caring if she was prepared or not. A soft gasp was the only response I received each time I pounded into her. The sex was very rough and fast paced; in the back of my mind I marveled at how easily she became accustomed to the rough treatment, as I was known to be quite girthy. Our bodies barely touched outside of the connection of our hips and her legs wrapped around my waist. My arms kept my upper body elevated above hers, and I kept my eyes focused on the shifting mounds of her breasts so that I could not see the ecstasy that was etched on the face of my enemy.

When she came, her back arched in a perfect U above the ground, the walls of her sex convulsed and tightened around me. I followed soon after, pumping erratically as my seed released into her. We were both breathing very hard, even after I pulled out of her and rolled off to the side. There was no energy left in me; if she had wanted to kill me then, I wouldn't have so much as cracked an eyelid with how tired I was. Somehow I managed to fall asleep without realizing, and when I woke up the next morning, I was still alive, and there was no sign of the exorcist.