A NIGHTMARE ON SPOONER STREET
nightmare ONE|27 SPOONER ST.
AS FAT ALBERT DRIVES HIS TINY CAR INTO THE DRIVEWAY OF HIS HOME AT 27 SPOONER STREET, the green LED clock on his radio reads 10:07 PM. He opens the door of his car and pours right out of his car and pops out onto the pavement. He closes the door and walks through the threshold of his front door.
He kicks off his left shoe, or as he says, his shoe. Albert lost his right foot three years ago to diabetes. Now what keeps his balance is a wooden peg. He goes to sit on his couch and turns on the TV.
"Now returning to.." says the television announcer. "Tyler Perry's Put My Name In Front Of It And TBS Will Air It!"
"Ha," exclaims Albert. "I love this show!" He gets up and goes into the kitchen, where he grabs from the fridge a bag of instant cookie dough. He rips open the bag and starts eating the frozen blocks of deliciousness. As he finishes the last cube, he begins to feel woozy.
"Woah," he says. "I should go take my insulin qui-quick!"
He takes the arduous trip up his stairs, which he seldom can, most nights sleeping on the couch. He walks to his room and, sweating from his enduring journey, grabs the syringe from his nightstand drawer. He turns on the light and sees that within the syringe is a thick red liquid, rather than the clear fluid he was expecting.
"Hey there, skinny!" says a monotone voice with a source unknown to Albert. The diabetic looks all around the room only to find nothing. Suddenly, the blood in the needle sprays out and all over Fat's nice red sweater. Albert gets up and, in the fastest sprint he's ever done, gets out of the room in fifteen seconds flat.
As he stands at the top of his staircase, about to rush down them as fast as his waddle can take him, he hears the voice again.
"Heads up, Man Boobs!"
With a kick to the ass, Albert goes tumbling down the stairs. Pictures hanging by the steps fall and break. The strange intruder walks down the stairs after the rolling obesity.
Fat Albert lays on the landing, looking up at the demented man coming down the stairs. The man is wearing a red-and-green-striped sweater, which does not at all take away from the seriousness of his burned skin. Along with these details is a metallic claw that has blades attached to each finger besides the thumb. The monstrosity sits on the last step, glaring down at the morbid creature before him.
"Hey Al," he says. "How 'bout we cut down on that weight problem?" The man takes his claw-like hand and cuts an "X" through the stomach of the man before him.
/ / / /
BRIAN GRIFFIN WAKES UP TO THE SOUND OUTSIDE HIS WINDOW. He looks to see the other two regular residents of his bed, Peter and Lois, are missing. Brian paws over to the window and sees plolice cars and ambulances parked at the end of his street. He sees several members of his family and neighbors standing by the house of his neighbor Fat Albert.
He gets outside and walks over to the crowd.
"What happened?" he asks Peter and Lois.
"Albert hung himself last night," says Peter. "By his own intestines."
"Peter," chimes in Joe Swanson, dressed in his police uniform. "I explained this to you already. It was probably murder. I mean no one could possibly do that to themselves!"
Soon, Albert is brought out of his house on a tarp, the intestines still wrapped around his neck. Lois covers her childrens' eyes. So does Bonnie.
When Quagmire sees the strangled corpse, he says, "Hah, reminds me of my first time!"
\ \ \ \
This was my first Family Guy fan fiction and I hope that you liked it. I know it's not that funny and all. Well I hope to bring more chapters and all. PLEASE REVIEW!