Okay, yeah, I know I'm a horrible person for suddenly just restarting it but…. I've changed my writing style some and as I was rereading what I posted, I just thought about everything I could change. So, this is my rewrite. Don't worry, I'm actually changing things and I'm starting a lot earlier in the story than I had before. =) Happy Holidays by the way! Sorry again for the inconvenience and I hope you enjoy~
I wrote ownership of OHSHC on my wish list this year so we'll see what happens.
"Akari-sama, are you sure that you are going to be okay today at school?" Oikanawa asks worriedly, glancing back and forth from the road and me in the mirror, and I look at my driver with a small smile on my face. A strand of my shoulder-blade length brown hair gets in my eyes and I tuck it behind my ear, shifting in the leather seat to become more comfortable. The day already seems like it will be long.
"I'll be fine. Mother promised she would be able to talk to me today didn't she? I just can't wait for class to be over," I chirp happily, holding my small plain bag to my chest, making the silver chain on it jingle quietly. I rub the charm the chain is laced through absentmindedly, tracing the familiar Celtic knot that Father had gotten for me a long time ago on a business trip.
"It represents an oak tree Akari," he informs me brusquely, handing his long coat to Takumi without looking at him. I didn't really understand him but it looks nice.
I look up at Father, the wonder that had alighted in my eyes once I saw the gift still present but directed to a different source. "It's so pretty Father!" I cheer, a wide and appreciative grin on my face. Father was so nice, thinking of me while away on…. Uh business. Yeah, that's the word! Father is great! His thin lips suddenly turn down in a frown and I tilt my head in confusion, my own smile dropping slightly. I didn't mean to upset Father. What did I do? "I'm sorry Father…. I didn't mean to make you mad."
"I didn't get it for you because it looked nice Akari," he scolds and I nod attentively, taking in every single one of his words with only an attentiveness that only a child can manage. "The salesmen informed me that the Celtic knot means life, strength, wisdom, nobility, family, loyalty, power, longevity, heritage, and honor. As one of the potential heirs to the Oita family, you must live by those traits."
My brows had furrowed while he told me everything, most of the sentence lost on me with the large words he had used. My fingers trace the never-ending line as I purse my lips in thought and I finally look up at Father. "I don't understand…," I tell him guiltily, looking at the ground nervously and in shame.
"Have Kotone tell you," he answers. "I don't have the time to explain it all to you."
"Okay, Father."
"She did but that doesn't mean….," Oikanawa begins and then he sighs, his shoulders raising high before lowering in defeat.
"Doesn't mean what?" I ask innocently, staring at Oikanawa expectantly.
"It isn't important Akari-sama," he responds and I hear the fatherly tone in his voice as he specifically keeps his eyes on the road. I huff loudly and cross my arms, letting the chain hang off its perch around the strap of my bag.
"Fine, don't tell me."
He chuckles loud enough so that I can hear it and I catch the edge of his grin in the mirror. "Do not worry yourself about it. We're almost to school anyways. Do you have everything you need?" He asks and I uncross my arms, nodding enthusiastically at him.
"Yep, Kotone checked before I left," I respond, my previous agitation forgotten in his aptly chosen subject change. I'll let it slide this time.
"Good, good. Well, we're here Akari-sama. I'll come pick you up after school in the same spot as usual, have a good day in the wonderful and exciting school classroom!" Oikanawa howls with mock cheerfulness and I roll my eyes at him in a fit of good nature.
The expensive car pulls to a slow stop and I kick my legs impatiently as I wait for my driver to open my door. The door opens smoothly a few seconds later and I grin widely. I bounce across the seats and jump onto the sidewalk, looking up into the clear blue sky. "Bye Oikanawa!" I call over my shoulder, starting to merge into the large flow of the rich and cultured youth, all of us wearing our designated uniform.
"Ri-chan!" a voice calls to me and I turn in a circle frantically to locate the familiar boisterous voice.
A girl that looks to be in the middle of her education, sporting her short black hair in low pigtails, waves at me excitedly, standing above the average middle school student slightly. I grin back, albeit much less brighter than she had managed, and start to weave through the crowd towards my friend, using my shorter stature to my advantage. When I had started coming to Ouran a few months ago, Yui-chan had been the first to talk to me and was…. Bright and loud. She had told me that she was my friend and that I would have to deal with it. "Hurry up, slowpoke!" she yells over the din and I increase my pace, ducking my head so that no one would see my face as I jostle a few people.
"Sorry," I murmur as I pass, still speeding up to reach my friend that had been located across the courtyard. WHAM! I fly back and I yelp loudly as my butt collides with the ground, my hands scraping painfully against the asphalt. "Ow, ow ow," I mutter, rubbing my backside and looking around to see what I had bumped into. I see two heads of auburn colored hair and feel my face color as identical faces look up at me. The two boys both have a mushroom-style haircut and gleaming amber eyes that look at me like a cat would. I would probably think that they were cute if they styled their hair differently. I scramble up and bow at them. "I'm so sorry! I was trying to hurry and reach my friend so that we could go to class but I wasn't paying attention to where I was going and-," I apologize frantically.
"Yeah, we figured that," two voices speak in unison and I straighten up, looking at them with regret apparent in my light green eyes flecked with yellow.
I reach out both of my hands to help the two strangers up, they look around my age… maybe they're in another class. Who are they? "I'm Akari Oita by the way," I introduce myself, a small apologetic smile now lighting up my features. "Again I'm sorry for bumping into you."
They get up, totally ignoring my hands and my lips twitch down a little. "Yeah, we kind of-," the one on the left starts, brushing his pale uniform off and not looking at me.
"Figured that out the first time," his twin finishes, a frown twisting his lips as he stares at me, a mischievous gleam in his eyes.
"Can't you watch where you're going idiot?" they both continue, mirroring each other with startling accuracy as they tilt their heads. My cheeks color red with shame and I look down at the ground, focusing on my shiny black shoes determinedly.
"I-I di-didn't mean to-too," I stutter quietly, my eyebrows furrowing together as I survey the twins across from me from underneath my bangs that cover my eyes slightly.
They both sneer and the one on the left starts again, "And now you can't even speak properly."
"Are you sure that you're supposed to be here?" the one on the right adds, snorting in derision as I nod slightly, playing with charm nervously. I look up in time to see the right twin look down at my hand before glancing back up at me, contempt in his eyes and stance.
"W-was th-."
"Ri-chan, I lost you for a little bit there!" Yui-chan bursts from the diminishing wave of kids suddenly, placing her hands on her hips at me. "Are you okay? I saw you take quite the fall there," she adds in worry, walking forwards to fuss over me slightly.
Mocking laughter makes her pause and we both turn to the twins that were laughing uproariously at us. Hot shame colors my cheeks again and I duck my head down to look at my feet again. "What are you laughing about?" Yui-chan challenges abrasively, taking a stance in front of me protectively. I feel my features brighten up slightly at the endearing quality in my friend known as loyalty. Though I do kind of pity the twins for having to be on her bad side. She has a mouth that she is really willing to use if there is a chance to.
The mysterious boys are clutching their stomach from the force of their laughter and I bite my lips harshly, closing my eyes tightly as embarrassment floods through me even more than before. Why are they making fun of me? I don't get it….
"She even needs to be protected by her friend!" the one on the right laughs, his slightly higher voice distinguishing him from his twin. I jump slightly and seem to curl in on myself even more, making Yui-chan frown worriedly at me.
"It's ridiculous how pathetic she is! It's like she is in elementary school!" the one on the left agrees and I feel anger start to take over the embarrassment. I look up slightly, a deep frown on my lips as I glare at them slightly.
"S-Sto-stop it!" I command them, clenching my hands into fists at my sides.
"Did you hear her Kaoru?" the right twin asks, chuckles interrupting his question as he looks at his twin.
"S-Sto-stop it!" he mocks in answer, scrunching his face up strangely and raising his voice to an annoying pitch. My cheeks color again and I duck my head down once again, embarrassment surging through me. I couldn't do anything…. maybe I should have kept my mouth shut.
"Will you both shut up!?" Yui-chan barks at them and they stare at her slightly in shock. Their expressions become neutral suddenly and they stalk closer, mirroring each other once again.
"Oh, you want us-," Kaoru begins, a grin beginning to stretch across his face that I know his spreading across his twins too. It's scary how alike they are.
"To shut up do you?" His unnamed twin asks, sliding his hand into his pocket nonchalantly.
"I don't know Hikaru; do you think you should listen to her?" Kaoru wonders out loud, steadily getting closer to my friend. Yui-chan backs away in response, forcing me to stumble back. My eyes dart between the two antagonists in panic and I feel my heart beat speed up in apprehension.
Hikaru, as I now know him yawns theatrically and then his cold amber eyes alight on her with an intensity that reminds me once again of a cat. "I always thought that we shouldn't listen to people who aren't worth our time," he responds, his voice still light but it has a dark undertone to it. Do they know her?
The twins are now invading her personal space and I feel her falter slightly. My eyes flicker to the back of her head and I bite my lip nervously. Poor Yui-chan… it's all my fault that she has to deal with them. I steal myself for a moment and swallow nervously before stepping up next to Yui-chan. "Well," I begin nervously, licking my lips. "It was-was just a misund-misunderstanding so we'll g-go to clas-class now." I pull my friend away by the arm, still staring at Hikaru and Kaoru. Why are they so mean?
Yui-chan suddenly regains composure and speeds up, pulling me now. "Ugh, the nerve of those two. They have a nasty streak Ri-chan, you should stay away from them," she advises and I furrow my brow in confusion.
"Who are they Yui-chan?" I ask curiously, raising my pace to be able to keep up with her long stride.
"Them? They're Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin. And they are absolute menaces."
"You should probably go back to class young lady," the nurse suggests to Yui-chan as she shuffles through her drawers for two large Band-Aids for my hands. Small scrapes cover them, the dirt and grit washed out by the nurse, making the skin surrounding them red. A stinging sensation assaults me but all I do is stare at the floor patiently.
Rustling sounds from where Yui-chan stands beside me, the weight of her arm around my shoulder leaving me. She responds politely, "I'm sorry Nurse-san but I want to stay with Ri-chan. I'll ask one of my other friends what we did later."
The nurse sighs loudly but a hint of amusement colors her tone as she responds, "I guess I can't stop you if you would want to stay. Come closer miss, I need to put these Band-Aids on your hands. You took quite the fall didn't you?"
"Yeah… it was something," I murmur in answer and walk forward, lifting up my head to look at the kind woman in the white uniform. "Thank you for your help," I add, holding up my hands so that she can apply the Band-Aids.
She grabs one with a small smile on her thick lips. "Now now, none of that, I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't help you now would I? It is my pleasure. I hope that you stay out of trouble okay, make sure to have one of your maids put on new Band-Aids once you get home," she orders and I nod, walking out of her office with Yui-chan.
"I can't believe they didn't even apologize!" Yui-chan bursts suddenly, starting up the rant she had started before we arrived to the nurse's office.
I look at her as we walk; a small amused smile on my lips. I interrupt her mid-sentence to remind her, "Don't forget that I was the one that bumped into them Yui-chan."
She frowns at me but I know she isn't really upset with me so I smile brightly in response. "Then how about when they insulted you!?" she challenges, her voice raised slightly in her ire. I shrug weakly and slide my eyes away from her. "Exactly! The gall of those two are amazing! Always being complete brats and being rude to everyone! I wish that I had never met them a few years ago!"
"How do you know them?" I ask once she pauses to breath, her cheeks flushed red from her spiel.
She straightens up slightly and something in her eyes flash, making me look at her with worry. Was that… melancholy? Sadness? What happened between them? "We were in the same class last year before I transferred to this one. I never really knew them that well but I admired them so much. They never let what anyone else said bother them and they are really smart. The thing that I admired and envied the most though….was how close they were to each other," she explains, pulling to a stop once we get to the hallway our classroom is located in. We can afford to be a little later. "I couldn't help but want to be just as important to them as they were to each other. I ended up forming a crush on them based on the bond they held with each other. It's heartless of me to do that but I've always coveted what I've never had. A sibling being one of those things. I ended up confessing to them after some of my friends convinced me to and they played a sick game with me. One of them pretended to be the other and asked if I was okay with him instead of his brother. Me, being the idiot who didn't even really have an actual crush on them, said yes and they taunted me once they revealed what was actually going on."
"So you…. liked how much they care for each other?" I ask tentatively, my eyebrows furrowed.
She smiles sadly at me. "The saddest part is that I still like how much they care for each other."
I frown at her. "That isn't sad…. You are right though, what you did was foolish. Telling them that you had a crush on them when you really didn't."
She looks at me but otherwise shows no hint that she heard me. "Afterwards I tried to apologize to them and explain what I thought but they acted like it was all a big joke, making fun of me for it. I've hated them ever since."
"Oh…" I respond lamely, biting my lip nervously. What should I do? Do I need to comfort her or something? Tell her that hating the twins is fine? Try to get her to talk to the twins again? I don't know what to do.
"Come on, we should get into class," Yui-chan beckons and I jump in surprise before following after her, a slight frown on my lips as I stare at my friend's back.
Nothing I think of seems to be right though because even as she said she hated them I can't help but feel like she doesn't.
I've never been able to stand hospitals. I stare up at the tall imposing building with disdain and apprehension. The overwhelming smell of chemicals is off-putting and the somber mood just makes me upset. There are those good pockets of happiness as a close family member sees their sick relative begin to recover that I glimpse through cracked doors but from my own experience, they bring nothing good. Oikanawa stands slightly behind me, a guiding hand on my lower back that gently prods me forward. "It's in the same room as always," he murmurs in my ear, leaning down so that he can reach it. I nod silently and enter the hospital, the doors sliding open with a soft noise that seems loud in the quiet atmosphere.
The same receptionist as always, Higurashi is his name, sits behind the large desk and clicks away on the computer, glancing up at me and waving slightly before returning to his work. I let my lips twitch up slightly and then walk down the left hallway, leaving the sparsely decorated desk behind. A few people pass me as I make the journey through the twisting hallways, none of them taking notice of me. My eyes follow them before sliding back to the path in front of me, saying the directions as I follow them. Third Right….. 5th Floor… The elevator spouts out crackly oldies through its speaker softly and I lean against the wall dejectedly, kicking my feet slightly against the floor.
Maybe Mother will be able to take a walk with me if she is feeling up to it. I can probably get the nurses to let us out into the small garden.
The elevator dings loudly and I flinch, the doors rolling open noisily. I look at the familiar hallways before heaving a loud sigh and straightening up slowly. I move the bouquet of [1]forget-me-nots and white carnations into my right hand as I take the left, moving to the door before the last at the end of the hallway. Please…. Please. I bite my lip nervously and hold the bouquet in both hands now. My tanned shaky hand reaches out and opens the door softly, allowing me just enough room to peek my head inside of the white room. A woman who looks in the later spectrum of the middle-aged bracket sits in the bed with a blanket covering her up to her waist, a thick black binder open in her lap, scribbling away at different documents. Her dark brown hair is held up in a ponytail, glasses perched on her long nose.
I take a deep breath and open the door wider, a smile on my face. Mother looks up and smiles at me. "Hello," I greet as I walk in, grinning at the vase filled with water that a nurse had kindly put in there. Soon enough, all of them would know my name I visit here often enough.
"Hello," Mother greets. Elation starts to fill me and I put the flowers in the vase. "What kind of flowers are they?"
"They're forget-me-nots and white carnations," I answer softly, setting them on the side-table next to her bed.
"How thoughtful," she hums politely. "Do you know who sent them? It's ridiculous really, I only fainted from exhaustion and everyone is making a fuss."
I close my eyes against the disappointment I know would be in my eyes and the confusion in here. "You're daughter," I manage to choke out, my voice surprisingly steady.
I can almost see her eyebrows furrow and hear the sound of her taking off her reading glasses. "I'm sorry but you must be mistaken, I don't have a daughter, only a son," she corrects, annoyance starting to color her voice. I open my eyes and look at Mother sadly.
"Do you know what the flowers mean?" I ask softly, wringing my hands. She nods and I turn my head to the flowers. "I bring these to you nearly every day after school for eight years. I'm twelve years old."
I look back up at her hopefully, spreading my hands wide and see her staring at me with wide eyes. "You….you're my daughter?" she asks. "No-no, that can't be possible."
"It is," I assure her hopefully. "I am. I promise. Why would I lie to you Mother?"
Her expression becomes panicked and I back away. "No, you're lying! You stupid kid, I don't have a daughter, STOP LYING TO ME!" she yells loudly and I back away from her bed fearfully even more. Not again. Why does this happen?
"I'm sorry!" I try to placate frantically.
"GET OUT!"
I shut the door behind me and crash sounds from inside the room, making small alarms begin to go off. Glass from the vase trickles to the ground and I step to the side of the door to make room for the doctors and nurses that are sure to come. Out of the corner of my eye I still manage to see a pair of flowers, a small forget-me-not and a white carnation intertwined, floating to the ground. I slide down the wall and pull my knees up to my chest, burying my head in my knees. My body shakes but no tears or sobs escape me. Only a prayer. I am not religious but prayers have always stuck with me ever since a missionary that lived a few doors down from my old house in Spain decided to visit me daily. Psalm 51. "Be merciful to me, O God, because of your constant love. Because of your great mercy wipe away my sins. Wash away all my evil and make me clean from my sin. I recognize my faults; I am always conscious of my sins….."
Well you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missin' home
Only know you love her when you let her go…
~Let Her Go by Passenger
1-In the language of flowers, forget-me-nots mean remember me forever while white carnations mean remembrance.