Death By Sweetroll
Obligatory Disclaimer: You know the drill. I don't own The Elder Scrolls. Just my crackish ideas. XP
The Dovahkiin resheathed his sword and began looting the body of the black-clad assassin. He found a bit of gold, a garnet, a lock pick, and a pair of daggers that were fairly good quality. And finally...a note saying that the Black Sacrament had been performed and he was to be hunted down and killed at any cost.
The Dovahkiin frowned to himself, wondering why the assassins kept jumping him on the road. He couldn't remember any major crimes that he'd committed like thievery or murder. Shrugging to himself, he decided to reach into his bag and take out that sweet roll that he'd had for awhile. He figured that he deserved a treat after fighting three angry cave bears, four sabre cats, and a few roving packs of wolves, all the while making a mental note to investigate The Dark Brotherhood in the hopes of getting to the bottom of who had a personal vendetta against him.
Meanwhile, in Windhelm, an innkeeper prepared to perform the Black Sacrament for the tenth time.
His last sweet roll had been stolen by that rude adventurer, and he was determined to avenge it's theft, no matter what the cost.
A/N: As I said to my friend Sharky over IM, I think that Skyrim might be the first game I've ever played where assassins come after you over the theft of something as trivial as a pastry. XP