Um… yeah, hi. My first fanfiction! This kinda snuck into my mind a few months back, before I was old enough to have my account. We know that how the pirates are today, but we don't know anything about their backstories. So my big sis suggested a new plot to me, and this came up. What if they were born and raised as pirates? I thought it would be interesting. One-shots, I'm sure. …Ok, no I'm not. I'm never sure XD! Anywho, please review!

I don't own Ice Age, wish I did. But I don't.

The day had been tense enough as it was. The prisoners had been especially mouthy today, no food seemed to satisfy her appetite, and clumsy Gale had spilled blackberry juice all over her favorite white fur coat. Most of the crew was cranky and crabby, and no one had slept thanks to the stormy night. So, of course, today had to be the day that Captain went into labor.

Don't go getting the wrong idea now. The vicious pirate captain was by no means a romantic. But it was tradition, she knew she'd need an heir to her sea reign eventually. He or she would be the next in the long line of seafaring pirates, all cutthroat, vicious, ruthless.

So, after a few months of searching, she found a decent mate. Men were all the same, so gullible. All she had to do was bat her eyes, maybe get a little physical, turn on the feminine charm (hey, just because she was a pirate captain didn't mean she didn't know how to use her pretty face and good looks should the situation called for it), and any guy was clay in her hands. She brought him back to the ship and her crew took it from there, binding him and throwing him in the holding cell with the other prisoners.

Now, eight and a half months later, Captain Cutthroat, was in labor. And she was not happy. Most mothers, at birth, were scared and in pain, but not her. She was downright, boiling mad. She ordered her temporary mate to her bedside, and when she got there, she didn't hesitate to take his hand and squeeze it so hard it cracked at punishment. Then she moved on to both wrists, snapping them like frail little twigs, all the while desperately pushing. The contractions felt like someone was pulling her apart by the ribs, grabbing at her back and middle and yanking in every direction. She felt like she was being pulled apart. And it hurt.

Another angry cry of agony made the nervous crew look at her with worry. Just because she was the fearless queen of the seas, childbirth was childbirth. A lot of things could go wrong. Loss of too much blood, for example. The bed was covered, the nice fur blankets used to cushion her ruined.

Captain Cutthroat got that little nickname because of her nice, perfect claws, about two inches. She used them to slit her victims throats, and afterwards… well, most made fine fur coats and blankets for when it got cold, or nice prizes on the wall.

Jia thought she just might make a new addition of the baby's father. This wasn't so. She simply rendered him unconscious and tossed his body aside carelessly.

After another two hours, it was over. Cutthroats screams and roars of agony ended… only to be replaced with new ones, much smaller, much more frail. The cries of a baby.

"Oh jeez! Uh…" Jia wasn't used to this kind of thing. Her heir, when it got here, would be but an inch long, and would make it's way into her pouch itself. Gem had her eggs tucked safely away in a nest somewhere. None of the others had delivered their heirs just yet. This was a first for all of them.

"Don't just stand there like sea slugs! Move! Get it and clean the brat off!" her green eyes flashed dangerously.

"Aye cap'n!" Gale tried to grab the newborn, but Jia shoved her away. It wasn't that she didn't trust Gale- ok, yes it was. She was a klutz, clumsy with everything. If she dropped the child… not only would it suffer possible injury or death, but Cutthroat would probably, well, cut her throat. Jia grabbed it, trying to ignore the slipperiness.

The other girls had a warm bath waiting for it, so it was easy to clean him up. After a quick bath and scrub down, they wrapped the child in a fur blanket, once from an albino, dyed blue.

"There ya are now." Jia said, gently, handing the baby to it's mother. "Yer son seems perfectly healthy." Jia informed her, watching as their ruthless captain, with impossible gentleness, cradled the newborn.

"He's very cute mam." Gale commented as they all gathered around to look. He was covered in fluffy black fur, a trait they all recognized from his grandfather, with a tiny pink face peeking out from all the glorious fluffiness.

"Got yerself a name in mind Sheila?" Jia asked, leaning a bit closer.

Cutthroat nodded dazedly, gazing at the tiny child's tiny face. Raising a hand, she touched his face, so soft! "Oh…" she petted his head for a moment, emitting a surprised squeak from the newborn. "He's perfect."

"Sure is." Dice agreed. No one really knew why the quicker-than-lightning rabbit had been named that. Then again, she came from a long line of crazies herself, her father was named Slug, her grandmother Spray. Odd. "Whatcha gonna call 'im?"

"Gutthrey." She responded.

"Uh…"

She rolled her eyes. "It's African."

"Can we nickname im captain?"

"No you moronic-"

"How bout Gutt?"

She looked slowly at the kangaroo, and Jia regretted saying anything. She was just trying to keep Gale from being punished. "What did you say?" she asked slowly.

"Ah… I uh…"

"What did you say?"

"…Gutt. I jus thought, since you're Cutthroat, your son could be similar."

"Jia, that's brilliant." She sighed in relief as their captain petted her sons head. "My little Gutthrey… welcome to the life of a pirate… Gutt."

Kay, first chapter. Please review! :D hope ya'll liked it! Give credit to my sis; look on my profile, she's mentioned!