Title: Nocturne Symphonie
Author: Anki
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Just a little letter.
Pairing: One side Buffy/Faith.

Disclaimer: I keep forgetting this one. I don't own Buffy or any of her characters, they belong to Joss Whedon and that's all I have to say about this. I don't earn any money either, just doing this because I enjoy creating my own version of certain situations.

Author's Note: Okay, this is kind of my first Fuffy fic ever. At least the only one I have ever published. It's just something that came to me after watching the final season of Buffy and watching the first movie Resident Evil. I found this story when I was looking at some old files. I modified some of the things in here, and certanly, after reading the first draft my English had improved greatly, you can even imagine.

Well, this is merely a one-shot, but...well, it could easily become a multi-chaptered fic. I'm still trying to finish some other stories so..we'll see.

Warning first, English isn't my mother tongue, so you'll probably found some grammar,spelling and funny mistakes. Even though I told you I've improved over time it doesn't mean is perfect now. Don't hold it against me and if you feel it in your heart you can help me continue this I'll be very, very grateful for that. But enough babbling, I really hope you enjoy it and to hear your opinion about it.

Second, if you haven't figure it out by now this is a femslash. I've been a huge Buffy/Faith shipper from the very beginning so…just so you know.

Nocturne Symphonie

November, 2006 (or is it December?)

F

Faith

Slayer?

Dear Faith,

At least writing it like that doesn't make me feel like a complete fool. Just half a fool.

I don't even know what to say. A lot of things happened between us after Sunnydale became just a huge hole in the world. I…I wish I could say what I really feel, what I have always felt for you but I'm – a coward.

If I have had one of those freaking Slayer prophetic dreams I would have hold onto you as if you…as if you were the only thing that matters. Because, if it isn't clear yet: you ARE the only thing that matters to me.

I was just scared, confused and so comfortably established in denial land that I …I thought I have all the time in the world to set things right. Guess I was wrong. You left and then this stupid, unexpected thing happened. And now, at the REAL end of the world, I realize there isn't enough time. That I don't even know if you're still alive.

Faith, I – I'm losing it.

I don't think I can keep fighting, moving around, keeping these people alive. It's just…so much!

It's raining outside and the temperature it's dropping drastically. I think with each passing day winter it's getting closer and I have never felt this kind of cold. Not even in Scotland.

The group it's … well, they're like me. They are losing hope. Last week we lost 30 people. They rebelled against me and the other girls trying to protect them. Trying to keep them alive. They left even after we tried to talk to them out of it. Trying to make them understand it wasn't safe.

It was crazy.

I can still hear the screams.

Let's just talk about something else. Something I…I need you to know.

Because –

Did you know, Faith…

Did you know there are times when I feel you? I can feel the warm buzzing of OUR connection move through my body, through my blood, through my own soul. And it keeps me going, it gives me a new flicker of hope that maybe, just maybe, you're still alive. Looking for me.

But then…I stop feeling you and I know that, even if you're alive, you're not probably looking for me. After all, it was always me the one feeling like this. It was only me the one who ever said `I lo – `

*Sigh*

I even dream about you. It's crazy, sometimes it's those kind of fluffy, happily-ever-after dreams in which you rescue me (or is it me?) and we both kiss and declare our undying love to each other.

I know, corny and stupid and `so fucking ridiculous, B' (God, I wish I could hear you right now, mocking me, telling me whatever comes to your head first)

There are other times ( and those are the ones that usually leave me in a shaky, sorrowful state) in which I think we share a dream. I can feel you, I KNOW you are there…but then, I see you smiling, holding up a small kid not older than a year old. Both of you smiling at me with those cute dimples showing as you wave happily.

Why do I doubt those dreams? Well, the kid looks only like you, if it were OUR kid, I'm pretty sure it would have my blond hair, right?

Besides, it's just wishful thinking.

*Another sigh*

It's really cold here. And the night it's approaching really fast.

Don't say anything but…I'm scared.

I…I don't think I can keep going anymore. I don't think any of us can.

I know this letter doesn't make much sense to you right now, Faith. Hell, I'm not even sure you're going to read it but, if you do, I only want you to know that…

What I said to you that day, before …before everything went to hell between us was true.

I love you, Faith.

I'm in love with you.

Madly in love with you.

Always have.

Whatever happens after I finish this letter Faith, know one thing: I'll always be beside you. My heart will always be there with you, no matter what. Protect Dawn. And Andrew. Keep the world safe. Be the hero you were always meant to be.

Love,

B