Sometimes, being in a Central universe sucks. You'll just be walking down the street, minding your own business, when suddenly WHAM! Voldemort and his Death Eaters will invade your hometown, or Cyclonians will take you hostage, or a magic crystal will fall out of the sky and into your favorite dessert! And then you'll be stuck with the after-effects until everything is resolved. And I mean everything. You have to capture everyone and throw them back through the portal they came through, get rid of everything they brought with them, and then close the portal. Only then will the universe reset, undoing all damage and bringing everyone back to life.
Who's in charge of all of this, you ask? Well, in every city in the world, there's one person that remembers these...crossovers. Everyone else forgets when the universe is reset, but not them. They get to enjoy the knowledge that their entire world isn't as it seems, that death isn't permanent, and that time and space mean nothing.
Oh, now you wanna know what I meant by Central universe? Well, if I have to...
A Central universe has many other universes connected to it through time and space, like the middle of a bike wheel and its spokes. Though the portals may be closed, the passageway is always there, waiting to be opened. The Spoke universes aren't connected to any universe except the Central universe, to prevent inter-universal conquest. It is possible to travel between Spokes by traveling through the Central though, so the Watchers, as those who remember are called, must be ever-vigilant.
Like I said, sometimes it sucks. But sometimes, Watchers get to have a little fun. Watchers take on the traits of the visiting characters, you see, so some days they get to mess around with magic and others they get to play with advanced technology. And then there are those rather special days when it's not a villain that visits, but a hero.
Those days, Watchers universally agree to mess around with the poor little darlings. It's ever so fun to watch them when you drop secret plot information on them before it's happened.
For instance...
"But Sasuke..." Naruto whined pitifully, looking with pleading eyes to the Uchiha, but the raven steadfastly ignored the blonde's fox-kit eyes.
"No dobe, we're not taking an arcade break," Sasuke said firmly, "Our money is for mission use only."
"But we've already completed the mission," Naruto pointed out, glancing at Sakura in a silent request for backup, "If we don't spend it, where'll it go?"
"Probably back to that filthy-rich guy that hired us.,"Sakura pointed out, who was also actually hoping for a break before their journey back to Konoha, "Didn't seem like he needed it all that much..."
'Give us a break or I'll hurt you!' Inner Sakura raged.
Sasuke glared at Sakura, perhaps betrayed by her siding with Naruto or perhaps getting some inkling of Inner Sakura's murderousness, but he finally relented with an annoyed expression and a put-upon sigh.
"Fine. But only a couple-" he started, then noticed the two weren't there anymore and finished lamely, "-games."
Then he saw that the money pouch was missing and raced after them before they did too much damage.
"Hello and welcome to the Starlight Arcade. My name is Sirius, how may I be of assistance?" the boy behind the counter queried. He looked about fifteen, his blue eyes hiding behind square glasses and his short brown hair ruffled up.
"Is your name really Sirius?" Sakura asked curiously before Naruto could speak up, and the boy glanced side to side shiftily.
"Not really," he confided with a small smile, "It's just a gimmick. All employees of the Starlight Arcade are required to assume the name of a star or constellation, and then memorize information about it. Nobody really does."
Then he smiled brightly. "Now then, what about you? Let's see; pink hair, a leaf headband, and a very distinct outfit. You must be Sakura Haruno!" the boy exclaimed, smiling widely, "Which means your blonde friend there is Naruto Uzumaki, and Mr Duckbutt Hair there is Sasuke Uchiha!".
Naruto glanced back to see Sasuke catch up with them, but Sakura was busy holding a kunai to the attendant's throat and growling menacingly at his amused expression.
"How do you know about us?!" she demanded hotly, but the attendant merely chuckled.
"The better question is, how much do I know?" he countered, and Sakura raised an eyebrow.
"Also good," she agreed, glaring slightly, but the attendant merely chuckled again and cleared his throat.
"Sakura Haruno, chunin-level kunoichi of Konohagakure. A talented medical-nin, a member of Team Kakashi, and slightly sensitive of your large forehead," he listed, and Sakura's free hand flew to her forehead in indignation. The attendant smiled again and continued, "Ino gave you a red ribbon to draw attention away from your forehead and more to your intense kawaii-desu-ness, thus starting a friendship between the two of you. Five years later, though, you ended it due to you both having a crush on Sasuke there. A pity."
Sakura's hand faltered.
"Additionally," Sirius added, becoming quite grave in about 0.5 seconds, "you have a split personality."
Sakura's brow furrowed in confusion, whilst an interested Naruto and Sasuke tuned in even more. "On one hand there's you: outer Sakura. The face that everyone sees," Sirius explained, gesturing idly with a hand to the girl in front of him, "On the other hand, there's inner Sakura: a mental representation of your true feelings or opinions of something. When Ino used her Mind-Body Switch Technique on you, Inner Sakura repelled her from your body for you, suggesting she's an entirely different mental entity than you. These bouts of your inner self raging decrease exponentially after you start your apprenticeship with Tsunade, but they only decrease because you yourself violently explode with the emotions inner Sakura would express."
Sakura dropped the kunai.
"I see she's come to a realization," Sirius noted, "Good. Perhaps she'll sort it out sooner."
"Wow! That was amazing! You incapacitated Sakura just by talking!",Naruto exclaimed.
"I'm surprised you find that amazing," Sasuke noted, and Sirius gave a sardonic grin.
"I'm surprised he knows what 'incapacitated' means," the attendant added, and the two shared a smirk.
"Not nice!" Naruto yelled angrily, drawing the attention of a few patrons. Sirius waved to them cheerfully and they turned back to whatever they were doing. "Anyways," Naruto continued excitedly, "Can you teach me how to do that?"
"Sure. All you need is completely information that shocks someone enough to render them immobile. Has to be true though. For example..." Sirius started, then looked Sasuke in the eyes and intoned gravely, "Your brother was hired by the Hokage to kill your clan because they were planning on assassinating him and taking over Konoha to turn it into a military force bent on conquering the Elemental Nations."
Sasuke twitched.
"See?" Sirius prompted Naruto cheerfully, "A twitch from him is like a full-out freak-out for a normal person."
"Woooow..." Naruto breathed, then cheered, "Do me next!"
"Your father was the fourth Hokage," Sirius deadpanned.
Naruto's jaw hit the floor.
"Tsunade, the fifth Hokage, is an Uzumaki by way of her grandmother, Mito Uzumaki, the wife of the First Hokage. You're related," Sirius continued, not leaving his monotone.
The jinchurikki started swaying dizzily.
"Technically, as the last of the main Uzumaki branch, you're the Uzukage of Uzushiogakure; the village hidden in Whirlpool," Sirius finished.
The poor boy had foam forming in the corner of his mouth, left eye twitching and chakra flaring alarmingly.
Sakura waved her hand in front of the blonde boy's face, raising an eyebrow when he didn't even flinch. She looked at Sirius and remarked, "Impressive. Though, I was more shocked then incapacitated. Got anything else?"
Sirius immediately thrust his phone in front of her face, a rather inappropriate picture featuring Naruto and Sasuke primed and ready. Sakura's face slowly changed color to match the claw marks on picture-Naruto's back, courtesy of picture-Sasuke, and it was with an incredibly shaky voice that she asked, "What in all the nations is that?"
"Hot," he answered promptly, "But most people call it yaoi."
Sakura twitched, then snatched the phone away and began scrolling through the rest of the pictures.
"And with that, my work here is done!" Sirius cheered, clapping loudly. The three kunoichi visibly snapped to attention (Sakura a bit less than the others), and Sirius instructed, "Now go, my nin, go and turn thine world upside-down with the information you now possess!"
Pointing at Sakura, he cried, "Adapt medical-nin jutsus to be used as attacks! Combine your calling and Tsunade's teachings!"
The pink-haired girl waved dismissively and gave a vague grunt of acknowledgement.
Switching to Sasuke, he crowed, "Seek not to avenge your clan, seek to restore it and its honor!"
This got the dark-haired boy thinking, so Sirius counted it as a success and mentally washed his hands of the broody teen.
Finally, he turned to Naruto with a smirk and uttered the words that would change the Elemental Nations forever: "Pull the biggest prank ever seen in the Elemental Nations on the Elemental Nations! Rebuild Uzushiogakure is secret, perfect your clan's brand of fūinjutsu, and perhaps even befriend the nine-tailed fox!"
Lowering his voice he prompted, "Hint hint, ask his name."
Then, with a snap of his fingers, a swirling portal opened behind the three nin, pulling them back to Konoha and giving them just a little boost in power and chakra control. As the portal closed with a burst of light, Sirius gave a dreamy sigh and said, "I love my job."