Hey Everyone! This my first fanfic up on Fanfiction (finally!). I hope you enjoy it. This is going to be the story of Holden told through Phoebe's perspective, so hopefully something a little different than anything you've seen before.

I just finished reading The Catcher in the Rye for lit class and fell in love with Phoebe, and just had to write her own story. Expect some sporadic placement of chapters and events from the book, when it comes to me I'll write another chapter.

Read the bottom for a little more A/N. Thank you for reading!

This chapter corresponds with Chapter 21 in Catcher in the Rye.

Disclaimer: I do not own the plot or most of the dialogue seen within this story. But the character of Phoebe has been taken under my control. :D

It was just another normal night at home. Mother and Dad had left for an event up in Connecticut, that it happened quite often, them leaving me at home alone with the maid. Ever since Allie had died it'd been different. Gone were the family dinners, walking around Central Park together, or even just talking together. Gone with Allie.

I got ready for bed and then went over to DB's room like I did every time Mother and Dad went out, I didn't feel safe anywhere else but in DB's big bed when no one else was home. I've been spending a lot of nights in DB's room lately. I brought my school stuff over with me, my notebooks and such, just so that it felt more like my own room. And after saying my prayers I went to bed.

I was having the craziest dream about flying elephants and the play "A Christmas Pageant for Americans", which we're acting out at school soon, when I heard a voice too familiar say, "'Wake up, Phoeb.'"My brother was home. I couldn't help thinking, why?

"'Holden!'"I exclaimed; I'd save my questions for later. I just had to hug him, it felt like forever since I've had a good hug and Holden had always been the best out of my brothers to give hugs. And I really had missed him while he had been at Pencey this past semester. "'When did you get home?'" I almost shouted.

"'Not so loud. Just now. How are ya anyway?'" He replied.

I couldn't wait to talk to him. My play! I couldn't wait to find out if he had gotten my letter about the play. "'I'm fine. Did you get my letter? I wrote you a five-page—'" He interrupted me.

"'How's the play?'" He asked me. "'What'd you say the name of it was?'"

"'A Christmas Pageant for Americans.'… Are you coming to it?" I couldn't wait to make sure he was coming, I knew that Daddy couldn't already and I really wanted to have more than Mother there. I was wide awake at this point and sitting up. "'That's what I wrote you about. Are you?'"

"'Sure I'm coming. Certainly I'm coming.'" He responded. Good! And then I told him all about how Daddy couldn't because he was going to California in an airplane.

But why was he here? "'Listen. Mother said you'd be home Wednesday," I said. "'She said Wednesday.'"

He retorted that he'd gotten out early. I had to think about that one. Why would Pencey have let him out early? He kept trying to talk to me about when Mom and Dad were getting home, but I kept interrupting him with a story about the movie I'd gone to seen. But I finally told him that they wouldn't be home until later, I could literally see his shoulders relax.

He then said, "'Listen, I bought you a record only I broke it on the way home.'" He took the pieces out of his coat pocket and showed me. "'I was plastered,'" he said.

Why was he plastered? He wasn't doing that again was he? Apparently he was. I kept that to myself, at least for now.

"'Gimme the pieces,'" I said. "'I'm saving them.'" I didn't care that it was broken; it was still a present from Holden that I'd be keeping. Plus, Mother always did say that it was the thought that counted. I put them in the night stand drawer to pick up later.

He asked if DB was coming home for Christmas. I knew the real answer was probably no, but instead I replied, "'He may and he may not, Mother said. It all depends. He may have to stay in Hollywood and write a picture about Annapolis.'"

He then asked me about the adhesive tape I had on my arm. I knew what he was doing; he was avoiding the question I'd asked him about coming home early. But I entertained him for a minute with the story about Curtis Weintraub pushing me while I was going down some stairs at the park. But I wasn't going to let him avoid it anymore, so I questioned him again, "'Holden, how come you're not home Wednesday?'" I knew he didn't want me to ask again, but I really did have to know. "'How come you're not home Wednesday?'" I asked again. "'You didn't get kicked out or anything, did you?'"

"'I told you. They let us out early. They let the whole—, '" He started to respond, but by then I knew the real answer.

"'You did get kicked out! You did!'" I exclaimed. He could try to get out of it but I knew the truth now. The fourth school that he'd flunked out of in a row. "'You did! Oh, Holden!'" I couldn't help it, I smacked him. How could he be so stupid?

"'Who said I got kicked out? Nobody said I—'"

"'You did. You did,'" I said. Then I smacked him again. Then I thought about Dad. Oh joy. Another conversation about flunking out of school; Daddy didn't like it when a Caulfield child flunked out, especially four times in a row. "'Daddy'll kill you!'" I cried out. I couldn't help it, how could he be so stupid? So I covered my head with my pillow, I didn't really want to look at Holden for a minute.

So as I kept repeating "Daddy's gonna kill you," into my pillow. Holden said, "'Cut it out, now, nobody's gonna kill me. Nobody's gonna even-C'mon, Phoeb, take that goddam thing off your head. Nobody's gonna kill me.'" Does he really believe that?

Then he had the nerve to say something about running away, going out on a ranch somewhere. He really didn't get it, did he? Daddy and Mother needed him, I needed him. I know Mother and Dad didn't always show it, but I knew that they really did need him. And I missed having all my brothers around; they all seemed to run away. DB went off to Hollywood, he hardly ever shows up any more, Allie's gone from the world, and I know Holden has had a really hard time with it. But, he was so stupid sometimes. He went all out trying to get me to come out from under my pillow, but I wouldn't budge. How could he have been so stupid?

Well there's the first chapter. Hope you enjoyed it and please review! I'll be back soon with more from Phoebe and Holden, so look out for it.

~Smiley