AN: All rights to the Powerpuff Girls belong to Craig McCracken.
7 for $27
She didn't know what she was thinking by coming to this store, today of all days. She just wanted to be in and out. To go unnoticed, that's all.
When she got the email in her promotions folder, something told her to just order them online. Thinking about it now, it would've been better that way anyways. But Buttercup absolutely detested online shopping. Unless it was very last resort, she much rather preferred shopping in store. She was one of those people that had to try everything on before she bought something. Someone who had to see everything up close first before she swiped her Visa debit card.
Plus, Buttercup was a very impatient girl. She hated waiting for something she just bought to be delivered and then on top of that, she had to wait for the damn thing to processed and shipped too? Bullshit. Then there was the chance that the item she bought could be lost, damaged, or stolen between delivery? Oh hell no.
All she wanted was some damn underwear. As her sisters would say, "you could never have too many panties, Buttercup."
The Scorpio in her just had to roll her eyes at that. Scowling ahead of her, Buttercup was just about to say screw it and rock out with the undies she had at home. They were just fine, inexpensive, and gave her no wedgies at all. So what if she had them for a while. If it wasn't for Blossom's nagging ass, she would've been at home in front of her TV shooting zombies right now.
She didn't even shop at Victoria Secret or PINK or whatever! The only time was whenever they were having deals on their underwear and even then, she would just send Bubbles or Woo to go buy the crap for her since they loved any excuse to go shopping. But unfortunately for her, the two were stuck working on some project for their Fashion class they were in.
So here she was, in a too crowded Victoria Secret in Townsville Mall, filled with nothing but annoying squealing girls and women of all ages.
Who the hell even gets excited about picking out panties anyways? You don't see them for majority of the day, unless you're using the bathroom or about to do the do and even then they're just discarded onto the floor somewhere. Then you bleed in them once a month. Wedgies are a thing from hell. And you're a complete psychopath if you sleep in them.
They're was absolutely no reason for grown ass woman to be fighting over the last pair of size small, hipsters that said, BOO on the back. It was utterly outrageous and damn near embarrassing.
Buttercup did not sign up for this. She didn't sign up for the long ass line, the squealing woman, the people bumping into her every five seconds, the young teens gushing over their boyfriends picking out their underwear that they were just going to throw aside later, and she definitely did not sign up for…
"Buttercup...is that you?"
Him. She damn sure didn't sign up to see him today, of all days. Ugh...
Why is this dumbass squinting? Like he didn't have the freaking ability to see through walls and shit. She wanted to punch him. Yeah, that sounded really good at the moment.
"Oh shit! Buttercup, that is you!" Butch Jojo had exclaimed, so unnecessarily loud. His sinewy frame glided through the crowd of women with ease as he entered the store. If there ever was a time where Buttercup wanted to hide and runaway, it would be now.
With her back to him, she slowly turned around. Buttercup grimaced. Sure enough, standing in the large threshold was Butch–freaking–Jojo, grinning at her like he hadn't seen her in ages.
"BC, I knew that was you!"
Her grimace deepened. Loud. He was too fucking loud. People were starting to stare now, whispering amongst themselves. She guessed if she was them, she probably would've been staring and gossiping too. Two long term, childhood rivals acting all chummy with one another was still taking some getting used to.
Shit, she wasn't even used to it. Hence the reason why she glaring daggers into the obnoxious assholes face. She didn't even notice when he walked up to her with all the anger simmering in her emerald irises.
"Buttercup!"
Oh, great. Buttercup's eyes snapped angrily to the large hand that was assaulting her person. He was touching her now. Since when did their relationship get to the point of touching? She wasn't even that keen on talking to the dumbass.
"What are you doing here?" Buttercup managed to grit out, trying to sound as cordial as possible. Butch didn't seem to notice–or care–about the strain in her voice, he just kept grinning on.
"Last time I checked, it's a public mall, Sunshine." Her eyes narrowed dangerously. That asinine nickname he kept calling her was seriously going to get him hurt one day.
"Stop fucking calling me that," She quickly bit out. To her annoyance, he chortled. "And that's not what I meant. I mean, why're you here? In my face? Breathing the same air as me?"
Butch frowned and pressed a hand to his chest. "Awe, Buttercup, you wound me. I was just stopping to chat with a good friend." Her brow twitched. Friends? Nani?
"When the hell did I say we were–"
Butch idly stepped around, cutting her off mid sentence. "I didn't know you were into this kinda shit, Butters." With a jeering smirk on his lips, he glanced down at her from the corner of his eye. "You pegged me as a briefs or boxers kinda gal."
Buttercup was quick. The idiot didn't even see the swat coming.
THWACK!
Butch smirk easily fell and was replaced with a glare. "You really didn't have to hit me that hard, you bitch." He muttered, rubbing softly at the back of his head.
"Fuck you." She hastily moved around him and made her way to the table that held all of the pretty and diverse undies. She wanted to curl up and die.
Butch's smirk was back in full force. "Is that what you're in here for?" His eyebrows did that suggestive wiggle whenever he wanted to annoy her and Woo. "You want to pick out something sexy for our first time? Sunshine, you didn't–OOF!"
One second he was walking behind her peacefully and the next, his green counterpart's elbow was in his gut.
Full of scorn, she cut her eyes at him. "Keep talking and next time it'll be your dick."
He scowled at the back of her head as they moved around the counter. "What's up with you bitches and my dick?" He mumbled, subconsciously glancing down at his groin. The two came to a stop in front of the boy shorts and Butch watched with interest as the girl picked carefully between the different colored fabrics.
Butch rose a brow at her. "Wait...you seriously like this sorta shit?"
Buttercup sighed vehemently. Why couldn't he go the fuck away? "It's just fucking underwear, Butch; nothing serious. Plus, the sale is good so why fucking not?" It was a decent explanation. She wasn't picky. She didn't care about brands much. She could do without all the girly and corny slogans on the panties but like she said, the sale is good. A smile then slowly rose on Butch's face. One that she wasn't too sure about. It was impish and it unsettled her.
She really didn't want to ask but he was really starting to creep her out. "What?"
He flashed his teeth at her, smirking deviously. "So you wouldn't mind if I picked them out?" Butch watched with amusement as Buttercup's nose crinkled up on her face. I just had to fucking ask.
"Hell no." She spat sharply. God only knows what ridiculous kinds of panties the perverted boy would pick out for her. Her body involuntarily shuddered at the image of Butch picking out a stringy thong for her to buy. She immediately shook the thought out her mind. "No. Fuck no. Just no."
"C'mon BC, I've picked out lots of girls panties before." The sly smile on his face told her that he wasn't lying either. Ew.
She squinted. "Is that supposed to make me feel better?" It made her feel worse actually. Another image suddenly came to her mind–her imagination was on a roll today–Butch buying a ditzy girl some PINK panties just so his dexterous hands can inspect them as she tried them on for him…
She froze and the reverie went poof, vanishing from her brain, leaving nothing but a glittery dust of sin. Be gone thot. Buttercup blinked twice. Oh God. Woo was really starting to rub off on her.
"Look Buttercup, these are nice." Of course the dumbass would be holding up the skimpiest pair of draws she had ever seen and obviously, the woman and some men around them turned to snicker and whisper once again. Buttercup felt the heat rise to her face at some of the things they were saying. Stupid super hearing. Things that would would probably make the Professor go into cardiac arrest or snap and burn the entire mall down. She could only guess at what they were thinking and it made the urge to run and hide even stronger.
She moved like the Flash to snatch the article out of his grimey paws. "What the fuck did I just say?!" She grabbed him by his collar and snatched him down to her eye level. Forest green met a smoldering jade. "Dumbass, do you not see all these people around, staring at us!? What the hell do you think they're thinking right now?"
Butch blinked slowly. "That you need some dick, maybe?" Buttercup's jaw dropped slightly and there, they stood just stupidly staring at one another as seconds passed by before Buttercup shoved him away with a grunt.
"Why are you even still here?" She muttered, angrily snatching open a drawer of frilly underwear.
"Awe, Sunshine. I'm just trying to help." Her eyes flared again at the nickname. The guy clearly knew nothing of the means of personal space. Butch heavy bicep looped lazily over Buttercup's shoulders, pulling her in. "Come on, let me help you pick out something nice."
Buttercup didn't even bother saying anything, just scowled venomously at the arm keeping her captive.
"Or…" He began slowly, pulling away from her. "I can just sit back and watch. I have nothing better to do."
"Or, I have an even better idea." She turned to him and grinned with wry. "You can go the hell away and leave me alone." Then her scowl returned.
"And I thought we were finally friends." He crooned, with a small smirk on his lips. He stepped around her to browse the bikini cut panties. There was some longing looks from teenagers and even some older women near by and Buttercup rolled her eyes. Ugh.
"That's the problem." She sneered, picking up a orange pair of boy shorts. "You actually had a thought."
Butch snickered lightly. "Brick would be proud."
She cut her eyes at him and scoffed. "I can argue he wouldn't." She eyed him closely under half lidded eyes. "What are you doing? I told you I didn't want you picking shit out for me." Butch lifted his head, a small smirk pulling at his lips.
"Who said these were for you?"
Buttercup snorted and whipped around to stalk away. "Then who are they for?" It's not like she cared. "You got a little booty call later or something?" She definitely didn't care. She was just referring back to what he had mentioned earlier. Definitely. Did. Not. Care.
Butch smirk widened as he watched his raven haired counterpart shuffle between ladies. He cleared his throat to clear some of the amusement from his voice. "Actually, no. I'm here to get a gift for some friends." He smiled genuinely, his eyebrows raising as he did so. This caught Buttercup's attention. Friends?
She cocked a brow at him from across the table.
"Yes, Buttercup. Friends." He repeated, recognizing the skepticism in her eyes.
"Friends?" The ravenette brows furrowed deeper. "When did you have any of those?" She looked him up and down, incredulous. "And since when were they female?"
Butch's face rested solemnly as he stared back at her with a less than amused expression. He reached in his back pocket and pulled out his phone and flashed it at her. "I can call'em if you like?"
Buttercup quirked a brow, amused by the thought of the ruffian having female friends that he wasn't boning. "Humor me." Butch didn't waste any time on rounding the table, tapping away on his phone as he did so.
"Let me guess, she's a blonde haired, big tit bimbo? Isn't she?" She sniggered. Oh, the stereotypes.
Butch huffed with a brief raise of his eyebrows. "Funny, I actually much prefer dark hair." He retorted gruffly, and Buttercup's snickering abruptly came to an end. Her lips pursed into an 'o' shape. Oh.
His phone was dialing now.
She tucked a stray strand of black–very dark–hair behind her ear. Well it's a good thing she wasn't a bimbo, wasn't it?
The chime signaling that a person's FaceTime call was heard and a sultry voice poured out of the phones speaker.
"Butch, why is it that you're calling my phone right now? I'm kind of in the middle of something."
"And why are you at Victoria Secret?" The second voice was more high pitched, screaming innocence and naivety. Two voices that Buttercup was more than familiar with. She practically had no choice of hearing them everyday. She gave Butch a pointed look.
Seriously? She said with her eyes. He smiled innocently down at her and then turned to his phone and her eyes followed. Woo and Bubbles occupied his phone screen, staring eagerly at him with looks of bemusement.
"Butch, what do you want?" Woo snapped, impatiently tapping a pen against the table they were working on in Bubbles room.
"Any day now." Bubbles shrill voice interjected. "We do have a project to finish!"
Buttercup narrowed her eyes. She watched Butch curiously as he spoke with her sister and best friend. She took note of how his eyes brightened when speaking with Bubbles, how his facial expressions became more boyish compared to the roguish act he used with most females.
With Woo, it was different. He was more relaxed and loose as if he was speaking with a long term friend and not someone he couldn't stand months prior. His body language was the same as whenever him and Mitch were together; carefree.
Buttercup hummed pensively to herself. It was strange to her. Puzzling that she hadn't notice how close her friends and family had gotten to her once arch nemesis. Sure they work together on a daily basis but she never expected this. For them all to laugh and get together and sing kumbaya.
The whole scene was weirding her out. The person that she loathed the most, standing next to her, on the phone laughing with the people closest to her, while the two of them idly shopped for panties together...what the fuck, right?
Right?!
"So, Butch, what are you doing at Victoria Secret?" Woo said, her voice having that usual sensual swing to it.
They could here Bubbles buzz her lips. "Probably to buy somethings to have some hopeless girl take off for him later."
Buttercup rolled her eyes at the suggestive smirk on his face, suggesting that he might just do just that.
"Can't a guy just go shopping for some friends?"
Woo and Bubbles snorted. "What friends?" Buttercup's eyes met his in a terse but tense stare. He smirked.
"Well I guess I'm just going to have put down this bag and mosey my ass back home since my so called friends don't claim me." Butch murmured with an exaggerated sigh. He even made a show of tossing the bag to his feet and turned to the door.
"WAIT!" Bubbles screeched through the phone. The girl had snatched the phone up from where they propped it up and began innocently primping herself. She cleared her throat. "These friends you mentioned. You're not talking about us, right?"
If Buttercup was right next to her sister, she'll be glaring at her. The hell was with all the sweetness in her voice?
"Welllll...you girlies are the only ones who im not fucking–"
Buttercup mumbled a raspy, "Thank God."
"And I don't think my bro's or guy friends would exactly appreciate seven pairs PINK panties…"
Buttercup scoffed. She didn't know about them, but she could definitely picture the blue ruffian in some light blue boy shorts–as disturbing as the image is.
"BUTCH!" Woo hollered. The phone was now in her hands, the camera way too close for comfort in her face. Butch swore he could see her pores through her full coverage foundation. "You dashing handsome devil you! You call bearing gifts?! What do we owe this wonderful occasion to–I'm a size medium by the way and I need some new lace."
Buttercup jaw was on the floor. Sometimes she really couldn't believe her best friend. Butch shot a toothy grin at the camera.
"Woo, you flatter me too much." Buttercup wanted to barf. "I just wanted to do something nice for my favorite girls." She was definitely throwing up in her mouth now.
"Wait, so you're dead serious! Like SERIOUS serious?" Bubbles asked excitedly, snatching the phone back. Her bright blue eyes were wide and sparkling. It only took for Butch to nod once for her to toss the phone squealing.
The genuinely hearty smile on his face was sending Buttercup. Her stomach flipped twice before she had to force herself to calm down.
There was scuffling coming from the speakers of the phone and yelling from Woo telling Bubbles to calm the hell down before Bubbles flushed face returned to the screen.
Oh my god! Oh my god! You just made my freaking day! Like, I was going to go up there myself later with Woo, but this project we're doing is sooo exhausting! It's no way we're going to be done before the mall closes!"
Butch only nodded slowly. The smile on his face slowly losing its flavor as the blonde continued rambling.
"I was going to just order online and then I realized that I only have cash and I don't feel like flying to the bank because then I'll just end up going to the mall."
Buttercup was starting to feel sorry for him at this point.
"Then when I found out Buttercup was heading up there, I was going to give her my money to catch the sale for me but knowing her, she'll probably pick out some dark grunge looking granny panties for me."
That actually brought the grin back to Butch's face and Buttercup's jaw hit the lowest of lows. That bitch…
"Not saying that BC actually wears granny panties or anything–I actually seen a thong or two in her drawer…"
The said girl turned away, she had to. Butch had chose that moment to turn her way with the most irksome amused expression she had ever seen. Buttercup closed her eyes and counted to ten like the Professor told her to do whenever she wanted to punch the crap out of something.
Bubbles was a dead woman when she got home. Dead.
Butch chuckled. "That's real interesting, Angel Face." Buttercup's neck swiveled. Since when the fuck did they start using pet names?! Did the bastard have a nickname for all her friends and sisters or was he just pulling the shit out of his ass? Just who the fuck did this suave motherfuck–
"Speaking of the devil, I'm actually here with Buttercup right now."
MOTHERFUCKER!
There was even more scuffling this time. Buttercup's guess was that Bubbles had mostly likely thrown the phone to Woo to avoid from getting her ass promptly cussed out. She'll get to that. Right now though, she violently maiming Butch with her eyes because the last thing she needed going around was that her and Butch were out together...fucking...underwear shopping.
How does that look?! Bad, that's what! And now she was over analyzing their proximity and just how exactly they looked to people near them. The cheeky stares the employees were giving them was beginning to be more irritable than before. No no no damnit!
Before she could make herself disappear, she was pulled in close–too close, might she add–into Butch's broad chest. Of course he did this so both of them can be in the cameras view but to everyone around them, they looked like a couple snapping a quick selfie.
God, I see what you do for others...please just make me disappear. She made a mistake by taking a deep breath while saying that silent prayer in her head. Now her nose was invaded by whatever earthy cologne he was wearing and...she hated to admit it but lord, did it smell good.
"Heyyy, Buttercup!" Woo cooed, winking knowingly. "Or should I say, Sunshine?"
Buttercup's eyes narrowed ferociously. That's it. The bitch better consider that eye gone once I get back.
"Buttercup, you know I didn't mean anything by the granny panties comment right? I was just talking gibberish." Bubbles giggled sheepishly in the distance. There was a speck of blonde on the screen where Bubbles had shyly stuck her head out.
Buttercup wasn't hearing that shit. "I swear, if I catch even a whiff of you two in my room when I get home, that's both of your asses."
"Butch, you might want to rethink the nickname Sunshine for her." Woo frowned. "This bitch is more of a raging Hurricane." He pouted.
"But Hurricane isn't cute." There was suddenly a elbow in his ribs brought to you by a seething ravenette. If only Butch could keep his comments to himself.
"You fucking calling me cute, asshole?"
"But Buttercup, you are cute!" Bubbles exclaimed in a whine.
"Shut the hell up!" Then she veered up to glare up at groaning sack of meat leaning over her. Immediately her hand was on his face. "And stop fucking leaning on me!"
"You just elbowed me in the fucking stomach!"
People were staring.
"You fucking called me...cute?"
Yes. People are definitely staring now.
"Have you realized just how unreasonable you sound yet?" Woo was like the itch on her back that she couldn't reach apparently. Like a fruit fly that always ended up wherever you went in the house and you were always a few seconds late on killing the son of a bitch.
And...it talked.
"You guys are so cute when you fight. All your lovers quarrels and all."
Talked and talked and talked.
"That's it!" Buttercup barked and literally threw Butch from off of her. Thank the lord for the ability of flight or he would've been sent soaring into one of the bra tables. Her voice boomed and it was firm. She wanted to make sure the girl on the other end of the phone heard her loud and clear and because Butch was currently planted on the ceiling. "Woo, i'm coming home to kick your fucking ass right now!"
Butch called out to her and floated back to the ground before she rush out of the exit. "Buttercup, wait!"
"Oh goodness. She is always so overdramatic!" Woo laughed fervently. "Bubbles, why is your sister so overdramatic–wait, nevermind. I forgot you're all like that."
"Woo, you're a real piece of work." Bubbles sneered.
Woo tutted. "You also all can't take a joke either."
"Buttercup!" Butch called to her again, brushing past the linger people, with their lingering stares, and hushed words...What the fuck are these old ladies looking at?
It was when he was seconds away from crashing into her back, did Buttercup decide to turn around. Someone really needed to tell her that Buttercup's angry face was her normal resting bitch face.
She glowered at him.
"What the fuck do you want? Don't you see I have a cat to put down?"
"Can you kill her after we finish our project, please?!"
"Actually...can you let her come kill me? I really don't feel like doing this shit anymore."
"Woo, shut the hell up." Butch barked grouchily and then turned back to Buttercup...then around them. He scowled like a beast. "Can you all mind your fucking business? Thanks." Okay, now all eyes back on her.
"You know Woo is just teasing, Su–Buttercup." He quickly corrected himself in fear of Buttercup decking him. The glare on her face stayed put though, if not worsened.
Woo snorted. "Smooth, Green Bean. Real smooth." She waved a hand in front of the camera, prodding them on while batting those long sooty lashes of hers. "Do continue. I just adore watching you two squabble."
"Butch, you're doing amazing sweetie!" Bubbles sniggered sardonically. This time, both of the greens eyed flared insync at the shiny trinket. Seriously though, Butch was debating on whether or not to crush the device in his palm. Glancing back at the green eyed Puff. The last thing he wanted was for her to go back hating him again–even though he was still quite sure she still did. Maybe not as much as before, but still enough to want to shove his dick in a grinder every time she sees him.
He was making progress though! Before, Buttercup would've definitely broke his nose for even saying her name. Now look at them–somewhat hanging out together. Aww. Now he just needed the two on the phone to shut up for a minute so he could convince her not to leave and kill them.
"If you two don't shut up, then I'm not getting you shit." And that was pretty much all that was needed to get them to do just that. "Thank you." He muttered before pressing a finger inconspicuously on the mute button. He waved the phone in front of her.
"Look, they shut the fuck up. You don't need to leave anymore." This only made her brow quirk in confusion because, why the fuck did it matter to him if she leaves or not?
She glared dubiously at him. "That's nice. They're still dead later though." Weird. He was smiling now.
"Exactly! Later!" He cheered with his eyes lightening up his face. Buttercup could only blink with parted lips. "Right now, let's finish shopping for frilly shit that covers your shitter and pisser!"
She pressed her lips in a straight line. Her own green eyes flickered dully at his shameless words. Honestly, she was starting to see just why Woo and Mitch would take a liking to him. All of them had exactly no filter to their words.
He threw his arm around her shoulder and her scowl returned.
That didn't mean I have to like him though. Buttercup thought grudgingly as she plucked his beefy arm from off of her. She coolly pushed by him, ignoring the triumphant grin on his face as she made her way back to the counter. Butch was right behind her, as happy as he could be–even with all the patrons eyes back on them, watching them curiously.
Buttercup opt to just ignore all of them, that included Butch. In and out. She chanted as she browsed. In and out. Butch must've got the hint because he didn't bother with teasing her anymore. Which was strange to say the least. The boy didn't even with any slick comments whenever she purposely picked up any scantily undies.
His attention was back on his phone, chatting animatedly with her sister and best friend once again. Never missing a beat as he picked up panty after panty to show them. An employee had eventually offered him another basket, seeing how full his arms were getting.
"When is Victoria Secret going to stop being pussies and start putting real shit on their underwear!?"
"Woo, what are you talking about now?" Bubbles groaned. They all just prepared themselves for outrageous crap that the feline was about to spew.
"Instead of putting 'here comes the boo's', why don't they put some real shit like 'Give me penis please?' or 'Spank me daddy!'"
Butch choked on a laugh he was holding back and Bubbles just sighed into the mic.
"Woo, first of all, that's too explicit. Kids shop there and secondly–"
"You're a virgin." Butch and Buttercup finished in a snort. Butch being surprised as Buttercup rounded the corner and appearing casually at his side. She reached out to grab his arm to level the phone so she could see as well. A small smile curled at her lips.
"I'm really tired of y'all using that against me. As if I'm not dickpressed already." She stuck her lip out in a comical pout and flopped back onto Bubbles bed. Bubbles shook her head at her.
"How the hell could you possibly be dickpressed when you're a virgin? Answer that for me." Buttercup retorted with a tilt of her head. Woo rolled over and glared at the phone.
"You just answered your own question!" She wailed to the ceiling, unneededly loud. "All I want is a nice attractive guy to come fill my sexual desires and blow my back out,"
Butch made a show of clearing his throat. Buttercup shot a glare up at him.
"not everyday but, you know, five days out the week wouldn't be so bad,"
"Dude." He croaked.
"But as friends though." Woo sniffed.
Butch groaned longingly and stared deep into the camera "Dude...I can be that friend."
Bubbles and Buttercup both shot him twin dull looks. "I thought she was just a good friend?" Buttercup deadpanned, giving him a look full of judgement and skepticism. He threw his arms up in answer.
"Good friends fuck all the time!"
"You're terrible." Came about Bubbles toneless voice.
"It's true!" He huffed.
Buttercup rolled her eyes. "Right...I bet you have lots of good friends then, Butch."
"You know he does." Bubbles interjected plainly.
Butch balked at them and bristled. "What is it? Attack Butch Day?"
"Nooo, it's seven for twenty-seven day at Vicky's." Woo exclaimed, crawling her way off of Bubbles bed. "So please buy me underwear that my imaginary man–that is just a friend–can take off of me."
"When you say it like that, that actually sounds very depressing."
"Very." The two ravenettes said collectively. Their eyes met briefly before quickly tearing away from each other.
"Leave my nonexistent sex life aloooooone!" Woo cried, sliding dramatically off the side of Bubbles bed like a wounded animal.
"Well at least you're aware that it doesn't exist." Buttercup deadpanned, inconspicuously tossing a pair of black thongs into her own basket. Butch was too busy trying to find a size for Bubbles to notice.
"Woo, when you finally get laid, we're celebrating."
"Really?" The feline sniffled, her head poking it up from the floor. "Green Bean, you're sooo good to me." She crawled her way back towards Bubbles to stick her face into the camera. Her lip quivered into a happy pout. "This is why you're my favorite!"
Buttercup did a double take. Her head snapped around inhumanly fast. Did she just hear her correctly? Snatching Butch by his wrist, she yanked it down and her eyes flared maliciously into the camera. "Excuse me?! What the hell did you just say?"
Butch again cleared his throat, making room for smugness to roll effortlessly off his tongue. "I think she said that I'm her favorite." Buttercup glared at him from her peripheral.
"You shut the fuck up." She growled and then tossed her glare back onto her supposed best friend. She was seriously rethinking that title right now. "Did you just say that this asshat is your favorite?!"
Woo stared back at her with a deadpan look on her face. Her brow arched. "Are you buying me thongs and bikini cut panties right now that'll most definitely give me wedgies from hell when I wear them?"
Buttercup's jaw went slack as Woo crossed her arms over her chest. This bitch…
"Do you support all my bad decisions without complaining and yelling at me when they eventually blow up in my face?"
Buttercup pressed two fingers to the bridge of her nose. She inhaled sharply, "Woo…"
"No, you don't." Woo tutted. "You only do it sometimes when you have sudden destructive impulses–still love you bunches though."
"She sums you up nicely, Buttercup." Bubbles had snickered beside Woo. The blonde placed a finger to her lips as she looked to her ceiling in thought. "Come to think of it, your impulses has really gotten better throughout the years."
Buttercup sighed raggedly before muttering a shallow, "Shut up." Not even caring anymore, she abruptly threw Butch's wrist back at him before turning back to pick through more underwear. The whole time she grumbled curses under her breath. She was having a impulse to go clock her sister upside her head.
Butch watched her from the corner of his eye curiously before busying himself with more panties as well. He thought best about not cracking any snide comments; not with Buttercup bristling the way she was anyway. He thought he heard her mutter something about him being a stupid fucking best friend stealer shit face asshat, but he could've been wrong.
His eyes caught hers and immediately they flared at him with malevolent intent. He quickly looked away.
Probably not though.
"I probably should pick Princess up something too." Butch said, trying to change the subject. He picked up pair of gold cheeksters. "She'd kill me if she found out I was in here and didn't get her anything."
"Princess shops at Victoria Secret?" Bubbles instantly chirped, shock and bewilderment brightening those sapphires of hers.
Woo snorted as she laughed. "You mean to tell me that Princess wears underwear that isn't bedazzled with swarovski crystals?" Bubbles nudged her shoulder as a giggle escaped her lips. Butch laughed heartily right along with them.
"She doesn't wear the clothes–says it's too tacky for her exquisite taste but she doesn't mind their underwear."
Bubbles rolled her eyes. "I know there's a designer bra out there that could push her little mosquito bites up to swollen snake bites," Woo promptly fell out the seat she shared with the blonde and Butch nearly dropped everything in his hands.
Buttercup, having heard the conversation choked back a laugh, trying hard not to draw anymore unwanted attention to herself and Butch–but he was doing fine for the both of them. Bumping into women beside them, he howled with laughter.
Bubbles, as innocent as she could be, just shook her head at her friends foolishness. "Okay guys, it wasn't that funny. I was just saying since Princess does have such exquisite taste."
Pulling herself from the floor, Woo pointed a claw at Bubbles with a goofy smirk on her face. "Okay, sure Miss fucking Regina George."
Butch grinned wickedly. "I'm definitely telling Princess about this."
"Noooo!"
Buttercup cut her eyes at the boy next to her, a small smirk pulling at her lips. "Wow, Butch. I never pegged you as a snitch." Butch winked at her before putting Bubbles and Woo on pause. He wasn't really going to text Princess, he just wanted to fuck with Bubbles for a bit. Instead, he just scrolled through his Instagram timeline.
"Oooo! I'm calling the boujee bitch right now!" There was a loud crash and a lot of rambunctious shuffling from the girl's end of the call.
"Woo, stop! She's going to kill me! You know she's overly sensitive about her breast! I try to tell her all the time that little titties are in but she doesn't believe me. I am a full supporter of the little bitty titty committee!"
"No no no! You said what you said, I'm about to text her right now."
"Oh my goodness–wait, BUTCH TAKE US OFF PAUSE RIGHT THIS INSTANCE!"
Butch thumb double tapped on some half naked Instagram model's picture. "Nah...I don't really feel like it." His eyes suddenly lit up. It seems Kim Kardashian once again dropped another nude on the timeline just for the fuck of it and Butch turned his phone to the side to get a better look. He hummed his appreciation.
Buttercup gave him the meanest side eye in history. "We're in fucking public." She turned her full glare on him, crossing her arms against her chest. "At least have some decency. There's kids around."
With a apathetic look in his face, Butch cocked a brow at her as to say, bitch please. "I can bet fucking money that nearly everyone in this store right now has seen Kim naked at least once. Another time won't kill them." He turned back to the bodacious beauty occupying his phone screen and Buttercup swore she saw a little drool fall from his mouth. "I'm definitely fapping to this later."
Buttercup's nose scrunched up. "You're fucking dirty."
Butch grinned crookedly. "I know...you should see what im thinking right now."
"DAMNNN! When is Kim Kardashian not naked on my timeline?" Woo's loud exclamation sprang from Butch's speaker.
"Oooo, she's blonde again–and Butch dont think I've forgotten. Take us off pause!"
"You guys are definitely ruining the little fantasy in my head right now." Butch groaned, before swiping at his phone. "Me and Kim was just about to switch positions." Bubbles, Buttercup, and Woo grimaced.
"Trifling."
Bubbles backed away from be screen with disgust written clear across her face. "You're not getting a boner in Victoria's Secret, are you? Because that would be the worst place to have a boner in."
Buttercup abruptly backed away, her back hitting some of the shelves behind them as women briefly stopped and stared. "Oh fuck! Are you?! Butch, I swear to–"
"Everyone shut the hell up," Butch growled with a roll of his eyes. He collected all his bags, including Buttercup's, seeing how she had dropped it when she jumped away from him. He gave each girl a annoyed look. "I'm a grown man. I think I know how to control my erections by now."
"TMI!" Bubbles squeaked.
"Wow." Crooned, Woo.
"D–don't say that so casually you dumbass!" Buttercup hissed, balking at his audaciousness. She warily looked around to see if anyone had heard him. Which of course, people did. Young women pointed and laughed while the elderly just shook their heads with open disdain.
"You guys are the ones that thought I could get a hard on just from looking at a simple picture." Butch groused. Once all his bags were checked and secured, he turned and coolly marched his way towards the checkout line. "Now, c'mon. I have all our shit, let's get out of here. All these people not minding their fucking business is starting to get annoying." And with that, he left his counterpart absolutely dumbstruck.
"Do yourselves a favor and not show up at that store for awhile." Woo chortled. She just knew Buttercup was embarrassed beyond end and was reveling in it.
"Woo, shut the hell up and finish your project with Bubbles." Butch barked at his phone, fixing his feline friend with a vicious glare but she looked more amused than scared. Of course. He wasn't his brother and Woo was clearly a sociopath. In fact, she was purring in delight.
"Oh, Green Bean...you know I love when a guy puts his foot down and starts telling me what to do. It's such a turn on~"
Butch rolled his eyes at the crazy cat, ignoring the way she licked her full lips and batted her eyes at him. It was all just an act anyway. The girl was the biggest tease he knew.
"But–that's for only in the bedroom and you're...not quite my type, big boy."
See? Biggest. Fucking. Tease.
"Ooo Butch, are you in line yet?" Bubbles upbeat voice chimed through the speaker.
Butch huffed through his nose. "No, Bubbles. I am not getting you a new makeup bag."
"Actually–"
He cut her off. "Nor am I buying anymore lip glosses, you have like a hundred."
"More like a thousand…" Came a small but rough voice from behind him. Butch didn't need to look behind him to know that the voice belonged to Buttercup. She glared at his back with her arms crossed, looking much like a spoiled brat.
Who does this asshole think he is telling me what to do? Grabbing my bag for me like we're friends? She was being irrational and very much stubborn. She knew this but the whole scene was just another reminder that the brash idiot was now, in a way, becoming apart of her close knit group of friends. Before, he would've kicked her shit clean across the room and not think twice about it.
Now he was being...cordial? Convincing her to stay, offering to help pick out frilly underwear, and then proceeding to buy her friend and sister undies too. Now that weirdo was holding her bag–and does his ass have his credit card out too?!
He was planning to pay for ALL their shit. Buttercup eyebrows shot to her hairline at the realization. She didn't recall her asking for him to do that. The gesture was too uncharacteristically nice. It was one thing to unfortunately spend a hour with the dick, but have him pay for her stuff too? Her eyes narrowed.
Next thing she knew, the guy would be asking if she wanted to grab a bite to eat afterwards. Like they were buddy buddy. Which they most definitely were not and never were going to be! Her friends and family may have taken a liking to the Ruff, but that didn't mean she had to.
"Aye," Buttercup insisted, rounding Butch to face him. Emerald green met forest green in a blaze. She stuck her hand out. "Give me my bag. I can pay for my own shit." She ordered and Butch all but looked at as if she was stupid. As if she didn't see the card in his hand preparing to pay for all their shit. There was three cashiers open and they were almost next.
"Seriously?" He said to her, slight irritation lacing his tone. Butch sucked his teeth once she jutted her hand out again with a little too much attitude for his liking. "Just let me get this for you. It's the least I can do". All he wanted to do was a damn good deed. Why was she giving him a hard time about this?
"No. I can pay for my stuff myself."
Butch forced a smile as they moved up in the line. "I really don't mind. What's twenty-eight more dollars?"
"I was planning to pay for my own underwear before you reared your ugly head and I still plan on doing just that." Buttercup exasperated, her expression going on dangerous.
"Dude," He groaned, rolling his eyes. "I got this. I already have my card out."
Instantly, the feisty noirette whipped her money out her bra and smiled mockingly at it, and then back at him. "Well, will you look at that...I think I have everything I need to pay for my own shit."
Was Butch surprised that a girl like Buttercup kept her money stashed in her bra? Yes. Was he going to question it and potentially jeopardize his life? No. Is he now currently checking out her boobs and estimating her cup size? Hell yeah!
Her glowed an alarming green. "You're thinking about my tits, aren't you?"
"I'm looking at him...and he definitely has that 'i'm thinking about boobs' face right now."
Butch didn't dignify neither Buttercup nor Bubbles with a response. Instead, when the pretty asian VS worker waved him over, he marched right up to her and dumped all four bags on the table–card in hand and ready.
"BUTCH! NO!"
Buttercup damn near flew over the counter, when the lady began dumping out eat bag and scanning each panty. She had yet to dump out her specific bag but that didn't deter her from slamming her money on the counter and shouting out, "One of those bags belong to me and I'm paying for it!"
The startled girl whose name tag read: Maya stopped scanning abruptly to gawk incredulously at the panting and glaring ravenette heroine...before tossing her stiff gaze back to Butch.
And then back onto Buttercup.
"Oookay…" Maya said slowly, hesitantly dropping a stringy pair of cheetah print thongs from her open palm. Woo's. Both green's had absently guessed. "So which bag is yours...miss?"
Before Buttercup could get a word out, Butch had brusquely cut in, waving her off and sending a menacing side eye at his counterpart. He didn't mean to, but now he was glaring at a clueless Maya. He chucked his card in her face. "Doesn't matter. Fuck what she's said. I'm the one that's paying so just ring all this crap up."
Who was tiny Maya to argue with a six foot scary looking guy, that had menacing glowing green eyes that looked to already be set on stun? Not her!
"Don't fucking listen to this piece of shit! I'm paying for my bag!" Buttercup hissed between her teeth, causing Maya's brows to disappear even farther behind her bangs. One on her coworker's beside her gave her wary look.
"Uhh..." Maya stuttered, now not sure if she go against the scary looking raven haired girl. Her gaze shifted between the two super humans. They both looked equally terrifying.
Listening in on the altercation, Bubbles all but sighed. She had a feeling that something bad was going to happen upon them shopping together, but what she didn't expect was for the two to fight over who was going pay for what. It was so silly that she couldn't help but to giggle at their childishness. The only thing that the blonde was worried about was the fact that her sister and newly friend was clearly giving the cashier a hard time. For Christ's sake, she felt like she was in the store with them.
"Guys, this should not be this serious."
"Then tell your fucking douchebag of a fucking friend to fuck off and let me pay for my own shit!"
"Blossom, would have a heart attack hearing that many F bombs in one sentence." They heard Woo laugh as if having the time of her life.
Butch scowl burned deep into Buttercup's skull, increasing poor Maya's discomfort. "How am I a fucking douchebag if I'm being ever so fucking generous and offering to pay for your bloody underwear?!"
"He's right, Butters. That doesn't sound very douchebagish to me." Woo crooned.
"Be quiet, Woo! You're going to make things worse!" Bubbles vehemently reprimanded, though, the two greens were to busy enraptured with their petty argument.
"I don't remember you fucking offering to pay for shit!"
"That's also true." Woo again crooned.
"WOO!"
"You should still be grateful instead of being a fucking stubborn bitch!"
"BUTCH!" Bubbles shrieked at the harsh word. Even Maya had covered her mouth in shock, along with a few other women around them.
Woo shook her head. "Damn Butch...what happened to respecting women all 2017?"
Buttercup's jaw was left hanging. She had to squint to even make sure she had just heard him right. Craning her neck, she looked at Butch as if five more heads just sprouted from out of his shoulders. "What the fuck did you just call me?"
It was a simple question. But the way those simple words just rolled off her tongue would have anyone stuttering and fumbling over their next choice of words...
Anyone but Butch, that is.
Leaning down, so the two of them could be at eye level, Butch, with a shadow over his face, said very slowly, "I said...you should be grateful instead of being a stubborn fucking evil bitch."
"Oh God…" Bubbles whispered, swallowing stiffly.
Woo whistled slowly. "See Butch, you should've just sat there and ate your food because I don't think you're going to live to see tomorrow."
Bubbles rose out of her chair with a look of pure dread on her bright face. "I have go get Blossom and the Professor…"
Woo had already beat her to it. From the greens end of the phone, they could hear Bubbles room door being tossed open as Woo's loud voice carried throughout the house. "BLOSSSSOOOOM, THERE'S ABOUT TO BE A MURDER AT THE MALL WITH YOUR SISTER'S NAME WRITTEN ALL OVER IT!"
Buttercup's only response to Butch was a slow nod. She even chuckled a little before letting a sadistic smirk cast across her lips. Turning back to frozen Maya, she began rolling her shoulders. Her thirty dollars was left forgotten on the countertop. Buttercup flashed Maya one of her biggest smiles.
"You should probably start calling security."
Buttercup didn't even give Butch the chance to take his next breath before she had thrown herself at him, knocking his phone and anything else on his person across the store. All the women's screams blended together as they ran to get out of the two powerhouses way as they completely trashed the store.
Butch's phone had fallen behind the cashiers counter, left forgotten and miraculously unscathed. The screen to revealed a small part of Bubbles room, now with the blonde missing and her door ajar. The only thing left in the her room was Woo, staring curiously into the screen. She fiddled with her claws as she looked from left to right, pursing her lips every now and then.
"Sooo...I wonder if this means we're not getting our panties?"
AN:
So I just wanted to start off telling you guys that yes, I am still very much alive and that the next chapter for Born This Way is almost finished. It's at 22,730 words already. So yeah, it's going to be extra-long for my absence.
I had a case of writers block and school to focus on between now and back then but the semester is finally over! Yay! And I'm more than halfway through BTW8. Double yay!
During my time away, I have been writing some shorts–if you can really even call them that–and this is one of them. They're just some fun ideas that's been floating inside my head that I thought you guys might enjoy and get a quick laugh out of or just something that I got a quick inspiration to write about. They may or may not actually make it into Born This Way, but at least I can still share these little shorts with you guys. I just wanna make y'all laugh because life can be a real bitch.
But anyways, see you soon!