A/N: When I found the beginnings of this story and the other Joliday fic back at the end of Summer I wasn't sure I was going to continue them. Especially this one more than the other. But I'm glad I did. Between the two this is probably more of my favorite. There is a scene-and if you are a PC fan you will recognize it-that is nod to Calivia. I usually don't pull from another couple when it comes to Jolie, but it works here so beautifully.
I really don't know what else may come down the pipe after this. You can only 'fix' the GH-crap-a-palooza so many times (which, I believe this is time nine for me) So a potenitally last thank you-from the bottom of my heart. Every story written, every review posted. Every visit tick on the traffic counter-it means something to me. So please enjoy this. Until whenever-you have always been and always will be the best-PCGirl.
Port Charles, New Years Eve 2012
John walked into the entrance of the ballroom and sighed—he didn't want to be here, where he wanted to be was sitting in his room with a bottle of something strong to erase what tonight was. Following Sam's lead, he walked down the steps behind her and paused as a waiter handed him a mask.
"You know—I'd say you don't have to look so melancholy, but you always do," she laughed as he stared at the mask in his hands.
"Do I really have to wear this?"
"Yes, it's a New Year's masquerade—and everyone else is so you do too," she said as she nodded at the waiter and tied the satin ribbon of her own mask behind her head.
"And this small thing should make me not know who is behind it? They do know I'm a cop and this stupid thing doesn't work."
"Will you just do it for me, John? My mom wants me to be here—yes, I'd rather be sitting at home with Daniel but I'm not."
"Fine," he said as he put on the mask without saying anything else. "I'm—I'm going to find a table—want anything to drink?"
"No," she said with a shake of her head and saw her sister on the other side of the room. "I'll find you in a few. Let me talk to Kristina."
John walked outside onto the balcony and took in the cool winter air—this whole process was taking way too long. In the beginning he thought he'd get back to his family by Halloween at the latest, but Halloween turned to Thanksgiving which turned to Christmas, and led him to New Year's Eve. And it didn't seem like he was getting anywhere soon.
It was funny when he thought hard about it—this night seemed to be his and Natalie's, but only once had they gotten to kiss at midnight.
Some of them they were together, but something would stop them from doing so. Some of them they were with someone else but saw each other across the room. This one would go down as one of the few where he didn't see her that night, but she was definitely haunting his mind.
At the beginning of the year he'd have never thought it would go like this—him being hours away from his family while someone else got to step in and be there for them both. He wondered if Natalie was thinking of him now—if it would be him she was imagining kissing when the clock struck midnight.
Looking up he at the clear sky he saw a shooting star and closed his eyes to make a wish. This wasn't where he wanted to be so for the first time in months he was going to go there. Screw the restraining order and warnings from his lawyer to stay in Port Charles until it was resolved. He was going home.
Walking back in he looked around to see if the coast was clear and saw he could escape with little problem. As he made his way through the crowd he looked up and thought he was imagining things.
There she was—standing at the entrance in a long, dark blue dress—her hair down, but held back by the mask strap. She looked gorgeous, and he watched as she finally caught sight of him—suddenly there seemed to be fear on her face and she turned around in a rush.
"Damn it," he said softly as he fought the rest of his way through the other guests, paying no attention to what scene he may cause. "Natalie, wait!" he shouted as he made his way to the top of the steps.
She heard him calling her name, begging her to stop, but she kept running-it had been stupid to come here-on tonight of all nights. What had she been expecting to find? John McBain sulking in his hotel room-reminded again it should be their second wedding anniversary?
Seeing a sign for a banquet room she turned into it, hoping to get lost in the mix of people she expected would be in there. Instead she turned into a room void of people, white sheets of fabric hung from ceiling to floor. They were staged erratically, causing almost a maze in the room. Trying to make her way through she hoped for a back door to escape through.
Hearing the familiar pattern of his steps behind her she knew she was out of luck as she felt him grab her arm and spin her back towards him, his other hand instantly going to the small of her back. Looking up at him through the mask she was reminded how gorgeous he was. He was growing his hair out again and the way it framed his face it made it so easy to get lost in those blue eyes.
They moved in a dancing rhythm for a moment-neither saying a word, just soaking the other in. It felt hypnotic to both of them-a literal dance to match the one that they constantly were battling with each other. Never able to let one lead for long until the other insisted on taking over.
John felt like he was dreaming-but her scent and touch-those were so real feeling he was pretty sure he wasn't. Leaning down he went to kiss her, seeing if she tasted the same-that would let him know if she was truly here. Feeling her breath hitch he paused before he could put his lips to hers, "Why did you come tonight?" he whispered.
Natalie gulped, wanting to push him away, but keep him close at the same time, "I wanted to see what it was exactly that was keeping you from your family. She looked very pretty in the picture. Even prettier in person," she said, taking a gulp of air as she felt the tears begin to start. She thought she'd put the hurt and anger past her-truth was maybe she never would.
"She doesn't hold a candle to you. I promise," he said as he caught a tear on his thumb and wiped it away. "Don't play dumb as to why I've stayed away," he said, his voice suddenly going from a sultry need to cold and distant as he released his hold and took a step back.
Natalie looked confused, unsure of what he was talking about, "I'm sorry-what? I mean I know I took your passport-but that was my impulsivity coming out. Yes, it was wrong to do that, but you are the one that never came home."
"The restraining order kind nixed that option, Natalie."
"The what?" she said, her voice a mix of anger and confusion.
"Two days after you took my son to London, I get a certified notice from you-with your signature stating I had to stay away from you and Liam."
A strangled laugh came out, "I'd like to see this so-called signature. Because I sure as hell don't remember signing anything telling you to stay away. Do you really think I'd do that? After being kept from my family my whole childhood? And you-losing your dad. We both know what growing up without a father is like."
"Well, then what about this letter I received from you," he said as he pulled out the folded-up paper from his suit jacket and handed it to her.
Natalie almost laughed that this was the second time he'd had a letter from her randomly on his possession and thought why do you keep my letters in your pocket? Reading over the letter she studied it, walking over towards a small sofa and sitting down. "This-I didn't write this, John."
"It's your handwriting," he said bluntly, unsure if he wanted to start an argument.
"Yeah, it's damn close, but I know I didn't write this. I know for a fact that I've not been with any other man since you. Physical or friendship wise. How did you receive this?"
"From a BE courier. Just like the restraining order," he said, his head down as he paced in a circle. Looking back at her they both suddenly realized what had happened-who had been pulling the strings for the past five months and it was neither of them.
Natalie let the paper fall to the ground and covered her face with her hands, a new heartache coming to the surface at the betrayal she felt from her own flesh and blood. She felt John come over and sit down next to her, pulling her into him in a side hug.
"What do we do now?" she said softly, trying to will the tears away that wanted to spill out so badly.
He shook his head, there was nothing they could do tonight-not from Port Charles and tomorrow was a holiday so pretty much all offices would be closed, "I don't know. I do know I missed you. How's Liam?"
Natalie gave a half smile, "He's great. He misses you so much. I do too," she said as she looked up at him and he tilted her chin up so he could take her mouth in his.
Releasing her from the kiss he reached back and undid the satin ribbon, letting the mask fall into her lap and then did the same to the mask he still wore, "Why don't we get a room for the night? It's a long drive back to Llanview so that can wait until the morning. Plus, I think we still have a lot more to discuss," he said as he stood up and put his hand out to help her up.
Natalie stood at the window of the room at the MetroCourt that John had gotten for the night. She was looking out over the harbor and just thinking to herself how this all happened. Could her father really have done something like this to keep John away from both her and Liam? What could have been his reason for doing so?
Shaking off the questions she couldn't get answered she turned to see John walk back into the room and over to her.
"Is Liam ok?" he asked, seeing her phone in her hand still from making the call home.
"Yeah, Jess said he went down to sleep pretty easy. I didn't bring up the rest-wasn't sure how to yet," she said as she put her phone down on the night stand. She had so many questions-and wasn't sure where to start, "Why didn't we go back to your hotel room? Why stay here instead?"
"For the privacy, really," he said as he turned off his cell phone and put it next to hers.
"Oh. You two are living together?" she asked, a sadness coming through in her voice.
"What? No," he said with a shake of his head, realizing what she was thinking. "But just in case she or someone else tries to find me I'd rather be somewhere they won't look. We need to talk with no interruptions, Natalie."
She nodded, it always seemed like any major conversation they had was usually interrupted midway, "What's going on with you two, John? Truth this time, please. I think I deserve that much," she said as he watched her body language go into a defensive stance.
He nodded, she deserved so much more than just the truth. He thought about skimming over everything-giving her a simple answer. Anything to avoid her having tears again in her eyes, "When I first came to Port Charles I met Sam. And it was weird-like we knew each other from somewhere before. And as I kept trying to bring Sonny down our paths kept crossing. And that feeling-it didn't go away."
Natalie had to turn away as he talked-she couldn't look at him as he broke her heart once again.
"Please don't turn away, Natalie. I know this hurts, but I need to tell you so we can get past it," he said as he walked to her and touched her shoulder. "The kiss-it was an accident."
"Only because you got caught?" she said coldly as she turned back to look at him.
John dropped his head in shame, "No. It was an accident because it never should have happened."
"So, you kiss someone and then what-decided not to tell me? Am I no better than the kiss you kept from Marty?"
He shook his head at her comparison, "I didn't want to tell Marty because I had to find a better way to tell her it was over. I didn't tell you because I don't want us to ever be over. I still love you, Natalie."
"What about this supposed star-crossed lover connection you have with Sam?"
"You know me. I don't usually believe in that stuff. I've never been one to think of destiny or fate as something real," he shrugged.
"But this time?" she asked, her heart aching at what his answer might be.
"If there's anyone that is a star-crossed lover to me it's you. I mean look at how many times we've gotten together and then by our own self-destruction we've been pulled apart. Aren't you tired of doing that? Aren't you tired of knowing the one person you want more than anything is the one that keeps hurting you the worst? Because I know I sure as hell am."
"I am too, so maybe it's best if I just let you be. We can talk co-parenting later," she said coolly as she went for her phone to leave.
John put his arm out, catching her by the waist, "That's not what I want."
"What is it you want?" she asked softly.
John just stared at her, pulling her closer to him than he deserved. Hearing the sound of the fireworks out on the harbor he knew it was midnight. "This," he said as he put his lips against hers. The kiss started out slowly yet passionately as they reminded the other what all they'd been missing while apart.
Pulling back for a moment he looked into her eyes and saw the same passion that always seemed to reside behind those blue eyes of hers. Running his thumb down her jaw line he gave a half smile, "I love you, Natalie. Always and only you."
"Me too," she smiled as he turned her around and began to unzip the dress she still wore. Pushing the fabric back he began placing kisses along the tops of her shoulders. She felt him pause and his lips go into a smile as her body instinctly reacted to his touch.
"John," she whispered softly as he finished with the zipper and turned her back around.
When his mouth returned to hers it was with more heat than before. Sealing the promise that this was exactly where the other wanted to be-in each other's arms as they rang in a new year. The wrongs from the past year seeming to have been washed away and the slate wiped clean, so that the only thing that mattered was their love for each other. Star-crossed as it may be it was the other they needed the most in their life.
John slipped back into the room quietly, placing his now full duffle bag by the door. After he was sure she was asleep he'd gone to his hotel room and cleared it out before dropping the key in the night box.
He was going to go by the police station and put his resignation in until he saw an earlier text message from Anna,
I saw who you went after tonight. I will gladly accept a text message in lieu of your resignation notice.
All he'd texted back was
Thanks for everything.
He smiled as he walked over to the bed and saw her still asleep, having barely moved since he'd left. The weight of everything now gone so she could sleep soundly. And now that the last of his life in Port Charles was tidied up he felt he could do the same.
Getting undressed he slipped back under the covers and she immediately rolled into him-finding him there he heard a contented sigh come from her and couldn't help but give a chuckle. He'd gotten his wish tonight-to kiss her at midnight. And he prayed that every year when the clock struck midnight he'd get to do it again.