A/N: Hidy Hoe! This is a story I wrote back in October. Originally it featured my best friend and her crush, but I liked it, so I converted into a South Park fic. Enjoy :)

An Unfortunate Day at the Carnival

It seemed like it would be such a nice day. The sun was out, it was friday, the carnival was in town, and it was Stan and Wendy's three month anniversery. How could this day be any better? I don't know, but I could tell you how it could be get worse.

"So baby, how would you like to go the carnival tonight?" Stan reached for her hand and entwined his fingers with hers.

"I'd love to, it's a date." She turned to him and smiled, he leaned in for a kiss, but she shyly turned her head.

You see, although Wendy and Stan had been and item for three whole months, they had never actually kissed. It's not that Stan didn't try, in fact, he tried every chance he got. The problem was Wendy, or rather the problem was Wendy's problem with Stan's vomiting problem. He had sworn that he had gotten over it, but she couldn't take having to trash another one of her sweaters because of his vomit.

OoOoO

At six, Wendy was ready for her date. She had straightened her hair, wore her nicest sweater, and even accesorized with earrings and makeup. The doorbell rang right on time, no need for him to be fashionably late, and she slipped on some juicy lipgloss to look extra seductive. She was gonna let Stan kiss her tonight.

She opened the door without even checking who it was. Stan stood there looking extra handsome, holding a box of candies in one hand and a bear in the other. He was even wearing expensive cologne. Before she could say "ready to go?" he lunged for her, swiftly moving her to the couch, dropping everything he was holding, and smiling cooly as he started to undress her.

"Wendy?" Mrs. Testaburger walked into the living room, confounded by the scene unfolding before her eyes.

She quickly pushed Stan from on top of her and frantically rebuttoned her sweater. She was ashamed for even thinking of engaging in that kind of activity on her own couch while her dear mother was home.

"Mom, I thought you were sleeping. Stan and I were just leaving."

She narrowed her eyes, displaying her obvious disappointment in her daughter. Wendy knew that was her cue to leave. She clutched Stan by the arm, practically dragged him out of the house.

"We'll be home by nine!" She yelled back, although she wished she wouldn't have to come home later and face her mother one on one.

OoOoO

As they began their walk towards the carnival, face still red from the recent encounter, Stan broke her cloud of embarassment, by reaching out for hand hand and squeezing it reassuringly. For a while, she had completely forgotten he was even there, but happy he hadn't darted after the mom thing.

"Stan, thanks for not leaving me back there with my mom." She turned her head to him, still walking, looking him into the eyes. He knew exactly what to do, he had been waiting for this moment for three months. He went in for the kiss, but instantly stopped when he felt something oozing underneath his shoe. Wendy had already been aware of the white, creamy texture splattered all over the lower part of her pants. He had stumbled upon a used condom.

"Of course." She exhaled, letting go of Stan's hand and trudging ahead angrily.

After walking the full extent to the carnival without even acknowledging Stan, she decided to let up and forgive him, after all it wasn't his fault. She turned to see Stan with napkins in his hand.

"I'm really, really sorry." He handed her the napkins, and she wiped her pants as well as she could. Unfortunetly, as everyone knows, semen stains.

"It's okay Stan, just make it up to me with some cotton candy?" She slipped back into the jolly state she had started with at the beginning of the night.

"Of course, anything for you." Stan, her valient prince, went to endure the huge line at the concession stand. She found a seat at a nearby picnic table, and swooned over her sweet boyfriend. The date had started roughly, but it could only go up from here. Or not.

Stan returned with a cotton candy for her, and a soda for himself. He took a seat next to her. He ripped off a small piece of cotton candy and gently fed it to her, fingers brushing against her lips softly. The classic pre-kiss move. He inched towards her lips, loosening his grip on the snacks, until he carelessly let the cotton candy slip out of his hand and right in to her hair.

"OH MY GOSH!" Wendy shrieked, grabbing for the pink fluff in her hair. Stan still holding the heavily condensated soda in his hand tried to help with the dilemma. Unfortuently, he should have put the soda down first. In the mass confusion of Wendy screaming and attacking the fluffy disaster in her hair, Stan also lost his grip of his soda. Pepsi poured down like a waterfall onto Wendy.

"YOU HAVE TO BE FREAKING KIDDING ME." At this point she was on the verge of tears and Stan was only making it worse by contributing to the pink tangle in her hair.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!"

Stan backed away, her remark had hurt him, but he knew he deserved it. She removed her hands from the sticky mess on her head, knowing it was beyond help. All that work getting it perfect for the date, wasted.

"Wendy, I'm sorry." He tried, but she just growled and darted off to the bathroom.

Stan waited outside the door of the girl's bathroom for nearly fifteen minutes before Wendy finally emerged. Her hair sporting a pink tint and tied back in a messy ponytail.

"Please, please Wendy don't hate me. I am so sorry." He pleaded.

"I want to go home. NOW." Wendy snapped. She started walking towards the exit, Stan knew he had to act quick.

"Wait! don't go, please. Give me another chance." He had obviously gotten her attention. Wendy stopped in her tracks, and turned towards Stan. She smiled weakly, and knodded motioning that she accepted his apology. He put his arm around her shoulder, and lead her back into the fair.

"Wait. There's one conditon. We have to ride the ferris wheel." She smiled hintingly, because all teenagers knew the ferris wheel was the perfect kissing spot. Stan pulled at his collar nervously and gulped, because although he would never admit it, he was terrified of heights.

Before he could suggest another ride, she was pulling him towards the ferris wheel. They were loading the people in right at that moment, so they didn't even have to wait in line. Luckily enough for Stan. She ecstatically jumped into her seat, dragging him in with no choice. As the carnival attendant lowered their safety bar, Stan began to squirm. They were off. It wasn't until they were about ten or twelve feet from the ground that he started to become more dramatic.

"OH GOSH. WE'RE GONNA DIE. HELP!!! MOMMY!! HELP!!" He screamed, as he began to flail his arms and legs about.

"Stan, stop! we're okay. calm down!" Wendy tried to comfort him, but instead he just started to freak out more as they gained more altitude. When they were almost at the top of the wheel, he accidentally knocked the saftey bar up. Wendy, not holding onto anything securely, fell out of the chair. She hurriedly grabbed onto Stan's leg, while he tried to keep himself in his seat and tried not to wet himself. Unfortunetly, that didn't work out too well. As soon as they noticed the catastrophe, the attendant immediately lowered them safely to the ground. The paramedics standing by hurried to Stan, who seemed to be having a panic attack, and Wendy.

"This cant be happening." Wendy sighed, after being checked for injuries, and revealing none. Stan ,however, was getting special medical attention, and recieving a clean pair of those awful nurse pants. As soon as Wendy noticed the mess, she picked a perfect sidewalk curb, curled up into a ball, and began to sob quietly.

Once Stan's heartbeat and breathing rate was back to normal, and he had changed into some clean britches, he noticed Wendy was not around. Still hopeful that she didn't go home, he looked around for her. When he found her on the sidewalk curb alone, crying, he really felt rotten. He had made their three month anniversery the worse day of her life. He walked over and sat next to her. Embracing her protectively, reassuring her that he was there for her.

"Stan" She sniffled, "Why does this keep happening? I mean, I just wanted a normal, romantic three month anniversery."

"Maybe, all this is just an obstacle, to test our relationship, and I think we're really meant to be together. I mean, we have endured all of this crap." He stood, and assisted Wendy up. He wiped away her tears and pulled her closer to him, until they were seconds away from their first kiss.

"Ouch!" Wendy squeaked. There was a sharp pain on her buttox, and when Natasha turned to see what had been the cause, she spotted Kyle. Kyle was Stan's bestfriend, who was hopelessly in love with him. He was evidently playing a game that involved throwing darts at balloons, except she had a different target in mind.

"Oops, I missed." He smirked, and hurled two more darts at them.

"Holy crap!" She ducked, avoiding the darts, but Stan wasn't quick enough.

"Chill, dude!" He hollered. As they pierced his face, he fell backwards. Wendy swooped up, but was caught off guard by Kyle's sudden attack. Before she knew what was happening she was rolling around on the ground, her already cotton candy damaged hair being pulled out of her scalp.

"Hell no, biatch!" She fought back fiercely, grabbing at Kyle's jew fro and trying to strangle him. The police let this go on for about a minute before they pulled Kyle off of Wendy, and taised him for struggling and putting up a fight.

"Okay, that is the last straw!" She roared, looking very pathetic, sitting on the dirty ground, covered in filth, and everyone around her laughing.

"Wendy, baby. I'm sorry." Stan kneeled by her side, resembling a loyal puppy.

"I can't do this anymore, this whole date has been a disaster." She broke out into a fit of tears not caring about who was watching.

"I know, I know, but I'm trying. It's not my fault, really." Stan helped her up and picked a candy wrapper off of her sweater, "Look, I have enough tickets for us to go on the Tilt-a-Whirl, give me one more chance?"

Wendy sighed, this had been the worse date of her life, and even though it was against her better judgement, she decided to give him one more chance, and go on the tilt-a-whirl with him.

When the ride was over, she came out in one piece. Although Stan looked a little frazzled, all in all, they had survived one of the most accident prone rides in the carnival. She thought maybe her luck had turned around. They walked towards the exit, and she turned to Stan, still looking a little dizzy.

"Well Stan, it was a rough night, but here we are, in one piece." She smiled timidly, "and I have something for you."

She leaned in for the kiss, the kiss that had taken three months for her to fulfill. She pressed her lips firmly against his, finding him not returning anything back. She pulled away slowly, unfortunetly, it didn't give her enough time to evade the vomit spilling out of Stan's mouth. Three months. She could finally say that she had kissed Stan, but honestly, if you ask her today, she'll probably leave the part where her puked all over her out.