Dura Dura Writing

Disclaimer: I do not own Super Smash Brothers. That goes to Nintendo. The only characters I own are those from the Golden Land, angels from Skyworld including the royal bodyguards, Angel Assembly and archangels along with all the other angels and of course the witch hunters. I also don't own Queen's Blade as that belongs to Hobby Japan.

Summary: After being forced to clean his room, Dark Pit finds a journal in his room and decides to read it. The writing inside the journal puzzles him as Dark Pit is certain the events that he is reading have yet to occur.

Pairing: Implied Reyn/Dark Pit and Isaak (OC)/Dark Pit

Rated: T (for teen)

Genre: Supernatural, Humor

Warning: Swearing, implied sexual themes and unintentional OOC

This is day 24 of the writing version of Inktober. Today's theme is "Dullahan". This is more of a recap fic then anything else but allows for the headcanon concerning Dark Pit's members until post-Mecha Galaxy. Enjoy!

Whenever Palutena ordered the royal bodyguards to clean up their divisions, it was never a good thing. Most of the royal bodyguards had messy areas and having an entire day to clean it only meant that there would be chaos while doing so.

Kaguju's 12th division was rather empty, so there wasn't anything he really needed to do. His group focused on gathering information and passing it on to the other divisions. Rooms devoid of life meant there wasn't anything to do to improve it.

Ginger's 11th division was as messy as one would expect. As the second youngest member of the royal bodyguards, it made sense that his division was cluttered. His vice captain Faith cleaned up after the young angel, but the duties he performed did desire a thorough clean up. Ginger's Flying Division helped angels learn how to fly and fight in the air. Angels built speed and endurance while under Ginger's command. Alas, it meant the gym and the training rooms always smelt like the sweat and feathers falling off of angels frequently. Ginger wasn't all that pleased about taking a broom and sweeping his own area before nightfall.

Rita's 10th division didn't need to do anything. They were the Cleaning Division and were tasked with keeping everything neat and tidy. Palutena wanted the other angels to pick up the slack and stop using Rita's children division to do the cleaning for them. As a result, Rita had the rest of the day off.

Saber's 9th division was rather tidy. As the Human Division, Saber had to keep everything organized in order to appeal to humans who visited Skyworld. Saber might have been the death angel but no corpses were hidden in her closet. At the very least Palutena didn't have to worry about Saber's division being a deep forest.

Pepper's 8th division was clearly dirty but for good reasons. The 8th Division was all about cooking the food that was served to every single person in Palutena's Temple. This meant that the kitchen was always being used and, as a result, it was nearly impossible to keep it clean with how much food got spilt on the ground, how much food was wasted and how there was always food coming in to be sorted and put away. Palutena told Pepper that her room needed the cleaning. The problem was that Pepper made the excuse that it was organized chaos and the Goddess of Light couldn't understand that her room was beautiful and perfect. The green haired Goddess realized she was wasting her time with Pepper's stubbornness and just told the angels to make sure the floor had no dropped food on it and the fridge had no moldy food in it.

Aqua's 7th division required work. Aqua was the Magic Division even though it seemed Hot Spring Division would have been a better title. She actually needed to drain the water, mop the floor and then fill the hot spring back up. Because many angels used her division to bathe, the water needed to be sanitized every few hours. Aqua didn't voice her complaints but Palutena felt that the water angel was annoyed that she was being told the obvious. Palutena then looked over to Aqua's vice captain, Flare, to see her progress. The green haired Goddess had a skeptical expression plastered on her face as she watched the usually stoic fortune teller freak out at the mention of being told about the cleaning. Flare refused to have anyone in her room so Palutena suspected something bad was in there. Alas, Flare insisted that she was fine and admitted that her tarot cards were scattered everywhere. It was odd that Flare begged Palutena to give her time to clean everything before she evaluated her. Palutena rolled her eyes but gave her a chance seeing as how reliable of an angel Flare was. Later on, she would ask Flare what the odd odor was around her division.

Isaak's 6th division would never be cleaned no matter how hard he tried. He was in charge of the Repair Division and that meant Isaak always had tools lying around waiting for people to step on them. While he can get his vice captain, Maggie, to pick them up and put them on a table, if Isaak was working on a project, no cleaning would get done. At least, Maggie promised she would get Isaak to look more appealing to her and then proceeded to beat up the lightning angel for ignoring Palutena's order. The goddess felt it was best to just let these two be.

Palutena made a mental note that Pit and Dark Pit would be the last ones on her list to check. Dark Pit's division was after Isaak's but she wanted to give him more time to clean up. This technically was the first time he had heard Palutena call for a "spring cleaning" so if he was disorganized, it was okay with her. Pit had no excuse which is why she'll go to him first and then come back to Dark Pit.

Himeno's 4th division was the Healing Division. Palutena skimmed the area, saw that everything was beautiful, and continued on her way. Himeno did what she was told every day so she, like Rita, didn't need to do anything. Palutena just hoped Himeno didn't get swindled into helping another division clean up.

Mcenche's 3rd division was a weird case. On one hand, Mcenche wasn't the tidiest angels. On the other hand, because of his family name and the fact that his fiance was the bossy Arcadia, he needed to keep it clean to a certain extent. Having ice as a theme allowed for dirt to not easily be visible. Palutena caught Mcenche sleeping in his room and chose not to wake him up once she looked around his room. His katana was placed on the wall, his shoes were under his bed and the broom he used to sweep his floor was put to the side. He did his job and there was no reason to wake him up.

Sun-Wong's 2nd division was like Isaak's division. It couldn't be saved. Sun-Wong could not keep his division tidy for one day before everything went right back to the way it was. Books, scrolls, old documents...anything that could be found in a library was scattered across the floor. Sun-Wong could find whatever he needed while no one else could. Fuyumi and Nina tried to help the earth angel but it was hopeless. The alchemy room did way better because Fuyumi was careful with her vask bottles. Palutena continued on.

Pit's 1st division was before the goddess's chambers. It was also the smallest of all the divisions. Pit had a few Centurions and a couple other angels who were considered Palutena's closest guards. After the incident with the Chaos Kin, Pit had hired angels specifically to look after Palutena when he wasn't around. The problem was that these angels didn't need to do that when Palutena went with Pit to the Smash Brothers Mansion. That meant they were being paid just to make sure nothing happened to the temple and that was boring. Palutena had yet to actually get the names of the angels but they all saluted her just the same. The angel captain, on the other hand, wasn't around for some strange reason. If Palutena didn't know better, Pit probably ordered the angels to do his work for him while he ran off to do something else.

Palutena checked Pit's room just to make sure. Sure enough, Pit's room was tidier than expected. All of his weapons he could ever need were kept in his drawer. His stuffed animals were either on the bed or in the box underneath the bed. All of Pit's identical tunics were hung up neatly in his small closet.

"Not bad, Pit," Palutena complemented before she closed the door to his room. "Now to check up on Pittoo."

Palutena found where Pit was. He was with Dark Pit in his division. The Goddess of Light could hear the two talking behind closed doors.

"From now on, keep your room clean, Pittoo. I can't keep helping you if you don't do your part."

"It's Dark Pit or Lived! And I didn't need your help with cleaning my room."

"You say that now but a few hours ago, you were freaking out at what sort of punishment Lady Palutena would give you if you didn't tidy things up."

"...Why was it only my room? Arachne and Kaguya are just as bad as me and they were presentable according to you."

"Hey, they may be new but they're still ladies. They can keep it clean. Be like them."

With that said, Pit left Dark Pit's room. He flinched when he saw Palutena in the hallway. Before he gave her an excuse, she immediately shushed him.

"It's okay, Pit," Palutena reassured him. "You're free for the rest of the day."

Pit sighed in relief as he quickly rushed off before Palutena changed her mind. The Goddess of Light felt that she didn't need to look into Dark Pit's room if Pit got to his younger twin cleaning it. Still, she went in and saw the dark angel had something in his hand.

"Pittoo~," Palutena hummed causing the dark angel to jump.

"It's Dark Pit or Lived Twilight!" Dark Pit repeated to the Goddess. "I cleaned up my room like you told me to. Happy now?"

Palutena gave the black angel a sly smile. The dark angel dreaded his mother figure finding out that Pit assisted him. Dark Pit's room was similar to Pit's in a way. However, there were major differences. Dark Pit didn't carry as many weapons as Pit so his drawer was more sparse. His tunics were close to falling off the hangers. His blanket was wrinkled and it was clear that some of the stuff Dark Pit didn't want Palutena to see was kicked under his bed, allowing it to poke out.

"I wonder if Pit told you how to be like him…"

"You think I would ask Pitstain for help?!"

Palutena giggled. "No, you wouldn't. You're too prideful for that."

"Arachne and Kaguya finished their side too. We don't need a punishment."

Dark Pit secretly prayed that Palutena would get the hint and leave. The Goddess of Wisdom was too intelligent for her own good. The dark angel found it difficult to lie or hide that he was terrified of being caught. To his relief, Palutena decided to leave him alone.

"Make sure your room is like this all the time," Palutena hummed. "If you didn't clean up, I might have spanked you in front of everyone."

Dark Pit's cheeks lit up. "P-Please don't joke about that. I have a reputation too!"

Palutena lightly laughed off Dark Pit's worries and left his room. Once the dark angel was sure that she was leaving the halls to enter another division, the dark angel slammed the door behind him and locked it. He let out a huge sigh of relief as he found his knees giving up on him. He slid down the door frame until he was lying on the floor.

"Dammit, I do owe Pitstain something after all...uh...my allowance is going to be flushed down the drain…"

The dark angel collected himself and accepted that his money would be gone in the next couple of days. He forced himself up and walked towards the bed. It was better to lay on anyway.

"...Now I can see what this is…" Dark Pit mumbled as he finally had the chance to look at the journal that Palutena noticed him clinging onto.

It was strange to say the least. Dark Pit wasn't a messy person. Yes, he misplaced stuff but he had a good idea where everything would be at. It was why the journal caught him off guard. This journal had his writing but Dark Pit had never written in a journal before. He opened it to see if it was a prank of some sort but he was surprised by the amount of detail that was in it. He wanted to wait until Pit was gone before he read the journal. Now that Pit and Palutena wasn't around, he was free to do so.

"What are these dates…" Dark Pit muttered. "Eve, do you have any idea what this is?"

Eve was the Mother of the Universe. Why she chose Dark Pit to be her vessel was something the dark angel would never understand. Whenever he had a difficult question he couldn't solve, he would ask Eve for help.

"It's a journal."

"I know that. What are these dates? What are these locations? I don't remember being here."

"...Perhaps reading these entries will jog your memory."

So much for being helpful. Dark Pit thought darkly to himself. He did decide to do that. "Hmm? This looks like something that happened recently…"

Dark Pit took the time to read this particular journal entry written in story format. The doppelganger knew from the writing style that he did indeed write this. He just didn't know when or how he wrote this.

"Story: Reyn's Dullahan Adventure Year: XXXX

This week was actually bullshit. I can't believe that I didn't lose my insanity or my virginity from all that happened. I swear it traces back to my temper. If I didn't get into a fight with Friday, Reyn would not have lost his head and became a Dullahan in the first place."

Dark Pit paused. "Reyn a Dullahan? That never happened…" He kept reading. He needed to know why this event is listed as happening but it was past that date.

"Reyn was such a hassle to deal with. His head had a mind of its own. I mean, I ran into so many new people because of it. I went to Rogueport and The Continent. Phantom Isle was a nice place too and it was great to see Ash again.

I think this week has taught me many things about myself. Isaak isn't as stupid as I thought he was. He's capable of being serious and is always looking out for me. I just wish that he and Friday weren't a thing. It makes me think I ran to Reyn because I was being childish..."

Dark Pit paused and reread that line. His cheeks threatened to turn red.

"...I don't like Isaak that way…" Dark Pit muttered. "Or Reyn…"

"Really? Isaak is such a sweetheart to you."

"Oh, shut up, Eve…"

Dark Pit didn't have the strength to argue and continued.

"I'm glad that Gaston is dead. He's a waste of space. Creepy pedophile doesn't know that no means no. I was scared for a bit. I'm glad that Pit knows the Angel Assembly well enough to find ways around their bullshit. I was this close to getting married to that bastard and it pisses me off just thinking about it! Uhh...I shiver when I think of the things Gaston wanted to do to me after he forced me to marry him. If Reyn did a better job at taking care of his head, then I wouldn't have to worry about a dick up my butt.

Still...Reyn managed to become a wonderful Dullahan during the week he was one. Now, he has this awful scar on his neck to remind us of the incident. Had Flare not stepped in, I would have lost Reyn...and I feel cold and empty if that happened…

To think that Reyn was smart enough to take advantage of Gaston's arrogance and ask for my hand in marriage right there. Pit isn't all that thrilled but at least it's not Gaston he has to acknowledge as my husband. Uhh...even now this is embarrassing to write. I have to plan for the honeymoon, sign the paperworks and other adult shit. I'm not cut out for this and I can't ask Pit to do them. This is what happens when you rush into marriage…

I don't even know why I'm writing this. I guess I wanted to look back a few years from now. Maybe when I read this again, I'll look back at the memories fondly. Either way, I want to remind myself that I do love Reyn...and I don't regret agreeing to marry him. Eve will probably be mad at me because she knows I'm going to have sex soon...but she can't expect me to be a virgin forever once I'm married. Right?

...She's probably looking down at me while I'm writing this and shaking her head in disapproval…"

Dark Pit closed the journal and set it down on his desk. He didn't know what to do after he finished reading it. Everything about it seemed so surreal.

"You're right. I'm not all that impressed that you went out and had sex despite my warning."

"I-I...none of this has happened!" Dark Pit exclaimed. "This has to be something I wrote in my sleep! I'm not married! A-And this incident with me fighting Friday and Reyn losing his head? That didn't happen like that! Yes, I got into a fight with that bitch but Reyn dodged that axe!"

There was silence between the two. Dark Pit wondered if he said something wrong.

"Are you hiding something from me, Eve?"

"No. Why would you think that?"

"You told me to read this...and I feel like you know something about this journal entry. I...don't have a journal...so why is this written in my handwriting? Eve...what is…"

"Perhaps a Dullahan from another timeline wrote it."

"...What?"

"Dullahans transcend time and space. Maybe in another universe, this was written and dropped off here. Who knows? I may be intelligent but I'm not omnipotent."

Dark Pit wished he could get information out of Eve. Unfortunately, that wasn't going to happen. A loud knock brought the dark angel back to reality.

"Hey, Li, Isaak needs your help cleaning his place. He got stuck under the machine again."

It was Maggie. She went to the closest division to get assistance. Dark Pit looked at the journal one last time before deciding to put it in one of his drawers. He would investigate the journal later. For now, he needed to assist the lightning angel.

"Hopefully, you'll tell me the truth when I'm done."

Eve made a sound as if she acknowledged Dark Pit's comment. The reality was that Eve had her mouth sealed until the day Dark Pit would really need the information. For now, she just needed to see how the dark angel would react to information that occurred in a past timeline and how to manipulate the dark angel to avoid instances like these. If what Dark Pit said was true and a similar incident almost happened to Reyn in this timeline, then surely, Eve could get what she wanted by giving specific information to Dark Pit.

"I know it's wrong to hide the truth from Dark Pit, but I must do this. I cannot afford to risk losing my vessel again for a foolish reason."

Me: Done with 3646 words. Notes!

1. While it makes sense for Dark Pit to keep a journal in a vain attempt to remember things from a previous timeline, Eve is very capable of using her magic to keep the journal in tact. She can't return Dark Pit's memories but she can do her best to prevent a tragedy from happening twice.

2. If Dark Pit has sex, Eve can no longer communicate with Dark Pit. Her goal is to always make sure that Dark Pit doesn't lose his virginity and resents Gaston due to his constant attempts to marry Dark Pit. Let's Not Lose Our Heads fic is spoiled by the ending and what is to come from the fic I have yet to finish. It's still vague enough that Dark Pit doesn't know what Gaston does in that timeline to get Dark Pit in a situation where he is almost forced to marry him.