I Remember You

by SME

Another Rerun originally posted on the RUNHP. C.C. falls ill.

Author's note: I originally wrote this story before I had seen all the episodes of The Nanny. I had no way of knowing that the song, "I Remember You", had been used in one of the episodes. It's one of my favorite songs, and it's just wild coincidence that I happened to choose the same song to use in my fic.

Also, this story was originally written in script form, and at the time, I had a beta reader. Some years ago, I took it out of script form and fleshed it out a bit, but I don't think this version has ever been posted online. I no longer have a beta reader so please try to overlook the mistakes.

I Remember You

It was still dark outside, and Niles prayed it wasn't yet time to get up. With the hope of extra sleep in his heart, he squinted over his sleeping wife's shoulder, trying to make out the blurry blue numbers on the digital alarm clock. 5:33 a.m. Yes! Almost a whole hour left to sleep. A shiver ran through him, and he realized a tiny corner of the sheet was all that stood between him and hypothermia. "I'm freezing! No wonder. C.C. has all the blankets on her side of the bed," he groused silently. "Cover hog," he whispered before he grabbed the blankets and rolled over with a mighty tug that took his half of the blankets and then some with him. C.C. sighed in her sleep and rolled over, too, snuggling against his back. Her soft, raspy snore tickled his neck. Niles laid perfectly still, half regretting his impulsive act in their ongoing battle for the bedclothes. C.C. had been fighting a cold for weeks, and lately, she had been complaining of feeling like she had been run over by a Mack truck. Complaints were unusual for C.C. Normally, she was a trouper who never let anything get her down for long, and he was more than a little concerned about her. He lay motionless for a couple more minutes before shifting slightly to make sure C.C. was still sufficiently covered. Then, wanting to make the most of the time he had left before the infernal alarm clock rang and forced him out of the warm bed, he chased the nagging worries about C.C.'s health out of his mind and dozed off. Unfortunately, his snooze was short lived. He awakened only minutes later with the odd sensation that he was being watched. He cracked one eye and found three pairs of eyes lined up along the side of the bed staring intently at him.

Niles whispered, "What are you doing out of bed so early?"

There was a chorus of answers.

"Uncle Niles, I'm hungry," Jonah said.

"I'm cold, Uncle Niles," Eve whined, not so unlike her mother.

"I'm hungwee and cold, Unca Niles." Molly announced loudly, not so unlike her mother, either.

"Shh! Whisper!" he implored as he pointed over his shoulder at C.C, who hadn't yet been disturbed by the three little intruders. He playfully tweaked Molly's nose. "I'm Daddy to you, young lady."

The bedroom door was ajar letting in a shaft of light from the hallway. Niles peered over the edge of the bed at their bare feet. He glanced back at the clock: 5:48 a.m. He sighed and pleaded, "Go back to bed. Please."

"Daddy," Molly demanded with a shout and a stomp of her little foot, "get up!"

Niles quickly put his hand over Molly's mouth. "Shh! Quiet! We don't want to wake up the sleeping...beauty." He almost said giant, but thought better of it. Little pitchers have big ears, not to mention, big mouths.

He eased out of bed and hoisted them up one by one into the warn space he had vacated and pulled the covers up snuggly around them. "Be quiet and be still while I take a shower and get dressed. Afterward, I'll make breakfast. Do not wake up Auntie C.C." He tapped Molly's forehead. "That's Mommy to you."

Twenty minutes later, Niles emerged from the bathroom to find three sleeping children curled up together like puppies with C.C.'s arm lying across them. "Typical," he mused sarcastically, but he smiled at the scene and went downstairs to get an early start on the day.

TNTNTNTNTNTN

Niles and C.C. share a house in New York City with Maxwell and Fran Sheffield. The two families had recently returned from California where C.C. and Max had tried their hand at producing a sitcom. However, the business partners became disillusioned with Hollywood, and after one too many professional disappointments, they decided to return to their Broadway roots. One good thing occurred in California. Fran and C.C. finally buried the hatchet and became friends. For better or worse, the foursome had been together for years, in some cases decades, and couldn't imagine living apart so when they moved back to New York, they decided to buy a new house together that would accommodate the two couples and their combined six children.

Technically, there were only four children left in the household. Maxwell's daughter, Maggie, and his son, Brighton, had already left the nest. Maggie had married young and was now happily living in Europe with her husband, Michael. Brighton was in college, his major was, as yet, a mystery. Although he lived at home instead of on campus, Brighton was very busy with what he called 'the college experience' which as near as Maxwell and Fran could determine meant girls, parties, and sporting events, and the family rarely saw him. This left Grace, Jonah, Eve and Molly at home. Grace was a not so typical teenager. She was wise and mature beyond her years, which made her social life somewhat rocky. However, Fran was convinced that Grace would eventually get past the awkward stage and blossom into a lovely and popular young lady. Jonah and Eve had recently turned three years old. They were beautiful children. They had dark hair and large brown eyes like their mother, Fran. They were a happy-go-lucky duo who could be quite a handful, but their disarming charm, much like their mother's, kept them out of trouble most of the time.

Molly was the youngest of the brood. C.C. and Niles had found out about her impending arrival the same day the twins were born. They were shocked to put it mildly, but by the time Molly arrived, her parents were as crazy about her as they were about each other. Molly had her mother's light blonde hair and almond shaped eyes, but her eyes were the same vibrant shade of blue as her father's. She had Niles' impish grin that morphed into her mother's wide smile. Molly was a very smart child. Her keen intelligence was due to a combination of her genes as well as her environment. She had inherited her parents' clever minds and constantly being around the older children and doted on by the all the adults in the household had made her brighter than the average toddler.

Much to everyone's surprise, C.C. had turned out to be an excellent mother. She had infinite patience with all three children. She tried to keep up a gruff front, but the kids had her number. It was C.C. who could be counted upon to sneak them candy when everyone else said no, and she couldn't resist reading an extra bedtime story or two when it was her turn to tuck them into bed.

Niles and C.C. loved each other to distraction. Neither had known life could be this sweet. If they had known how happy being married to each other would make them, they would have wed years ago instead of spending the better part of their acquaintance at each other's throats. The couple still enjoyed their verbal jousting and good-natured insults, but they had to watch what they said in front of the kids. The children soaked up everything like sponges, especially Molly. Niles had nicknamed her Molly Mockingbird because she mimicked everything said in her presence. They had to constantly correct her. She sometimes called Niles uncle or called Max daddy because the twins did and vice versa with C.C. and Fran. "Maybe she isn't as bright as we had hoped," Niles once chuckled to himself. "She seems to have a problem with names. She gets that from her mother." Once when C.C. put Molly on the phone to talk to her grandmother, B.B., Molly proceeded to call her an 'irritating cow' repeating what C.C. had said moments earlier. C.C. half-heartedly scolded her, but secretly thought it was hilarious.

Niles had had a difficult time convincing C.C. to agree to name their daughter Molly. C.C.'s family had once had a maid named Molly, and she didn't want her child named after a maid. "You're married to a butler so what's the big deal?" Niles asked during one of their numerous baby name debates.

C.C. retorted, "I've told everyone who doesn't know any better that I'm married to a domicile engineer. One of my dumb sorority sisters actually thinks you build apartments for a living." Niles knew C.C. didn't care about his profession, no matter what her snooty family and friends thought. Niles was well educated, well read, and well bred, and C.C. loved him madly.

Niles had had his heart set on naming his daughter Molly or a son Mark. For when Niles was a young lad, his mother made up stories for him about a brother and sister named Mark and Molly, who had a magical unicorn only they could see named Wings. Niles loved those stories because they reminded him of his beloved mother. When C.C. finally realized how much it meant to him, she consented to name their baby girl Molly. Niles was thrilled when Molly, Jonah, and Eve were old enough to understand his mother's fairy tales. He hoped that someday soon he and his wife could work on a boy to name Mark.

TNTNTNTNTNTNTN

Niles was slicing up fresh fruit when Maxwell, unshaven and still in his robe, wandered into the kitchen. "Good morning, old man," Max ground out with a long stretch. "Have you seen the kids? I peeked into their room, but the only one there was Chester asleep in Molly's bed."

While they were young, their parents decided to let the children stay in one bedroom with three miniature beds. It was a great deal easier than running from room to room trying to corral them, especially at bedtime. Jonah, Eve, and Molly were like jack-in-the-boxes. The weary parents would get one settled down only to have another pop up.

"I believe they went out for coffee and doughnuts," Niles replied dryly as he turned his attention from the fruit to the coffee pot.

"What?" Max asked, sleepily stupid.

Niles shoved a mug of coffee into Max's hand. "They're upstairs with C.C. The little devils were awake at the crack of dawn, but conveniently went back to sleep once they got me up."

Max grinned and took a slurp of coffee. "Sorry about that. I'm going to pop upstairs for a quick shower before breakfast."

Niles heard giggling from the top of the back staircase and heavy footsteps. C.C. was carrying the three of them, as best she could, piggyback style. Niles could hardly see her face what with all the little hands and arms wrapped around her face and neck.

"Daddy! Daddy! We're playin' horsey," Molly shrieked with delight.

Niles laughed and disentangled the kids from his wife. "How is the old gray mare this morning?"

She ain't what she used to be. Those kids get heavier every day. She scowled at him. "Not before I've had my coffee, Niles."

Niles kissed her on the neck and finished it off with a small bite. She swatted at him, and he growled at her. Then, he poured her a cup of coffee. "Be a dove and take the cinnamon rolls out of the oven when the timer goes off."

"Niles," she grumbled, "you know I hate to cook."

"It's either cook or take these three upstairs and get them dressed."

C.C. opened the oven door and eyed the rolls skeptically. Then, she eyed the children skeptically. Molly and Eve were blithely pulling cookware from the cupboard. Jonah was sporting a pot on his head and singing 'Yankee Doodle'. "The timer is gonna beep, right?"

Niles calmly shoved the pots and pans back where they belonged and grabbed as many small hands as he could. "Yes, Julia Child. Come along, children."

TNTNTNTNTNTN

After feeding the family and doing the dishes, Niles made his way through the house looking for C.C. He expected to find her in the home office she shared with Max and was surprised to find her in their bedroom instead. "What are you doing back in bed? You missed a pretty amazing breakfast, if I do say so myself. I saved a cinnamon roll for you, a big one with extra icing. Want me to go get it?"

"I'm tired, Niles. I don't feel like eating right now. I'll have something later."

He sat down beside her on the bed, resting his back against the headboard. He pulled C.C. to his chest and wrapped his arms around her. She nestled her head under his chin.

"Ahh," she sighed happily. "This feels nice."

He tilted her face up and rested his cheek on her forehead. "You feel warm. I think you have fever."

"If I have a fever, it's because you're making me hot. Being in your always arms makes my temperature rise." She lifted her mouth up to his and kissed him passionately.

Niles groaned, "If you continue to kiss me like that, something besides your temperature is going to rise."

C.C. laughed a low, sexy laugh and kissed him again.

Niles muttered between kisses, "Spellbinding...witch."

They made passionate love. Afterwards, as they lay in each other's arms, both knew they should be up attending to the day's business before they were missed, but neither wanted to move.

"I think you should see a doctor," Niles said out of the blue.

"What?" she asked sharply, taken aback by his out of place comment.

"The fever…The doctor…You have a fever, CC., and you should see a doctor about it."

Frowning, she sat up. "Niles, you're ruining the afterglow. I'm fine so stop being such a Jewish mother. Now up and at 'em." She pushed him out of bed and gave him a slap on the rear. "If I'm going to be able to go Christmas shopping with Fran this afternoon, I have to get some work done this morning."

C.C. was as excited about Christmas as the kids were. Being a child of divorce, her childhood holidays had been dismal, but having a family of her own as well as the Sheffields to celebrate with helped her to really get into the holiday spirit. Christmas this year promised to be the best yet. Molly was old enough to get it. Well, at least, the commercialized aspect of it. Last year, she had kicked and screamed when they took her to visit Santa Claus, and her favorite 'gifts' had been the wrapping paper and the big box her rocking horse had come in. This year, Molly was old enough to pick out toys from the catalogues, and she claimed she couldn't wait to tell Santa all about them.

TNTNTNTNTNTN

"Promise me you won't tell Niles what happened," C.C. begged Fran as they stood on the front stoop of the mansion. Snowflakes tickled their eyelashes and noses.

"You fainted in the middle of Toy Warehouse!" Fran exclaimed, pausing a moment from raking through her enormous leopard print purse for the house keys. How could I not tell my best friend his own wife passed out? You're either sick or you're pregnant. Either way, Niles deserves to know."

"I am NOT pregnant! C.C. bellowed before catching herself and looking around to make sure no one else had heard her. She lowered voice and continued, "I just have a little cold, and Niles knows that already. I fainted because it was at least one hundred twelve degrees in the store, and I couldn't catch my breath. And, I got caught in the middle of a brawl over the last Big Bird doll. Those women were animals."

Fran finally found the keys. "Meanwhile, Eve is gonna love Big Bird! She's been asking for it for weeks. Your fainting spell distracted everyone long enough for me to get my hands on it."

C.C. blocked the door so Fran couldn't open it. "Great! See, I helped you get the toy for Eve, so don't tell Niles."

Fran chewed on her thumbnail as she thought it over for a long moment. "Oh, all right. I won't tell him. At least for now..."

The two women stepped into the living room just as Eve and Molly toddled in pushing baby carriages. Eve's carriage held a naked doll with its hair standing on end, and Molly's held Chester dressed in a pink doll's dress and bonnet.

"Hi, guys!" Fran squealed enthusiastically. "Whatcha doin'?"

"Playin' dollies," Eve answered as she lovingly tucked the blanket around her baby.

"Where's Jonah?"

"Daddy won't let him play."

Molly added, "Unca Max says Jonah is stwange."

Fran rolled her eyes. "Oh, no! Not that again! Uncle Max! May I have a word with you?" She stalked off, high heels clacking on the marble floor, in search of her husband with Chester, having escaped from the carriage, scurrying along after her.

C.C. held out a hand to each of them. "Come on, ladies. Let's go get a snack. I hope the wonderful aroma I smell is cookies." C.C. was snickering when she walked into the kitchen with the girls.

"What's so funny?" Niles asked. He was emptying a baking sheet of its warm, gooey contents.

"Max is in hot water with Fran again for not letting Jonah play dolls with the girls." C.C. mimicked Molly, "Unca Max says Jonah is stwange."

Niles laughed, "Sounds like Molly Mockingbird has struck again."

Jonah walked into the kitchen carrying a boy doll in overalls and a red baseball cap. "I can play, now!" He dropped the doll on the floor when he saw the cookies. "I wanna cookie!"

Molly and Eve chimed in, "Me, too!"

"Okay," Niles agreed, "but you have to drink milk with your cookies. And you have to eat at the table. I don't want to have to scrub chocolate chips out of the rug like last time."

The children eagerly nodded their heads and held up their arms to be helped into their chairs. While Niles was busy taking a batch of cookies out of the oven and putting a new batch in, C.C. grabbed Jonah, lifted him up, and immediately staggered under his weight. The little boy giggled at the sensation of being lifted and then sinking back down. "Do it again, Auntie C.C.!" Niles had his back to them and was unaware of what had happened.

Just then, the kitchen door swung open. "Hi, everybody," Grace greeted them, a big smile spreading across her face when she smelled the cookies. She turned to the kids and held up her hands for high fives. "Yay! Chocolate chip cookies!"

C.C. was relieved to see her. "Grace, do me a favor and help Niles give the kids a snack. I just remembered something I need to do in the office."

Gracie easily swept up the nearest kid. "Sure, C.C. Come on, you little rug rats."

Shaken, C.C. hurried out of the kitchen. She hadn't felt well all day, and suddenly, her strength seemed to have been sucked out of her body. She didn't want Niles to see her this way. She headed toward the office, but stopped when she heard the raised voices of Max and Fran.

"I don't think it is appropriate for a boy to be playing with dolls," Max all but yelled.

Fran could be heard yelling back, "He's only three years old..."

C.C. backed away from the office door, deciding her bedroom was a much better refuge. She was half way to her room when she felt wetness coming from her nose. She put her hand up over her face. "Yuck. Gross. Now, my nose is running on top of everything else. Damn cold!" She quickened her pace to the bathroom to get some tissue. Her reflection in the bathroom mirror shocked her. Her hand and her lower face were covered with crimson liquid. "Oh, great! My nose is bleeding." She wadded up some tissue and sat down on the edge of the white claw foot antique bathtub.

Concerned, Niles knocked on the bathroom door. "C.C.? C.C.? What are you doing in there? You've been up here for ages."

C.C. sighed heavily. The flow of blood had lessened, but her nose was still bleeding. She knew Niles wasn't going to take her latest cold symptom well. "The door isn't locked. Come on in."

He entered, horrified by what he found. C.C. sat on the floor leaning back against the side of the tub. She was as pale as a ghost, and she was holding a bloody towel over her face. There were soiled tissues piled up in the wastebasket. "C.C.!" he gasped in alarm.

She held up her hand. "Don't freak out. It's only a nosebleed."

Instantly, he set to work. He wet a washcloth with cold water and got a fresh towel out of the linen closet. He sat down on the floor beside her and held the wet cloth on the back of her neck and traded her bloody towel with his clean one.

"Has your nose been bleeding the entire time you've been up here?" She nodded. "Why didn't you get me?"

"I'm okay. It's not a big deal."

After a few minutes passed by, he said, "That's it. We're going to the emergency room."

C.C. put her hand in the center of his chest. "Calm down, Niles. It's a nosebleed, not a hemorrhage. Maybe, I hit my head when I -" She abruptly broke off when she realized she was about to tattle on herself.

"What? When you what?"

"Never mind." She glanced at her watch. "Look, if it hasn't quit bleeding by the time dinner is over, we'll go to the emergency room. But, I think its stopping. There's no sense in disrupting everyone's dinner over this. Now, go downstairs and serve. I'll be fine. My cold probably caused it. I remember when Noel was little he used to get nosebleeds every time he caught a cold. This is the same difference. Like I said, it's no big deal."

Niles was reluctant to leave her, but the nosebleed appeared to be ceasing so he did as she asked. After all, he had had an occasional nosebleed over the years along with sinus infections. Maybe, C.C. had a sinus infection.

Immediately after dinner, Niles hurried up to their room and found C.C. lying in bed. "Don't worry. It stopped."

"Thank goodness," he sighed with relief. "I brought you a mug of soup, but I can fix you a plate from dinner if you want. We had beef stroganoff.

"No, this is fine." She sat up and took the mug from him.

He stood by the bed with his arms crossed over his chest.

"What?"

"Fran told me what happened to today, about you fainting."

"Wow! Fran kept the secret a really long time. Must be a world's record for secret keeping," she answered sarcastically.

He glared down at her, his expression half accusatory and half hurt. "Since when do we keep secrets in the first place?"

C.C. was not contrite. "Since you worry too much."

"I want you to go to the doctor tomorrow."

"No way! Tomorrow is out. Max and I have an important meeting in the morning, and then in the afternoon, we're taking the kids to see Santa. Remember?"

Niles shook his head wearily. "Why are you so obstinate?"

"Why are you such a worry wart?" she countered.

His expression and voice softened, "Because I love you so much, that's why."

"I love you, too. Stop worrying." She reached for him, and he climbed into bed beside her and took her into his arms. He held her until she fell asleep.

TNTNTNTNTNTN

The next morning, C.C. was awakened with a racking cough. Niles was already up and gone. She checked the clock. It was getting late. Niles must have turned my alarm off. She didn't know whether to curse him or bless him. She was so exhausted she could barely move. Another coughing spasm hit her, and she buried her face in her pillow to squelch it. Niles' ultra-concern was getting on her nerves. His heart was in the right place, but she had never liked anyone hovering over her. She didn't want him to burst in with a bottle of cough medicine and start bugging her about seeing a doctor again. After the coughing spell passed, she sat up and was shocked to find blood on her pillow. Oh, no! Not my nose again. She put her hand to her face. Her nose was not bleeding. C.C. coughed again, and for the first time, she noticed the metallic taste of blood in her mouth.

Oh my god! I'm coughing up blood! Heart racing, she started to panic. Her thoughts tumbled over each other. I must be really sick. Cancer! I must have lung cancer from those damn cigarettes I used to smoke. She looked down at her bloody pillow. Niles will absolutely come unglued if he finds out I'm coughing up blood.

C.C. jumped out of bed and promptly fell to the floor. Her legs were like jelly. She realized she had to calm down. She forced herself to take a deep, cleansing breath. Just stop it, C.C. Relax. I probably have some sort of infection. After another deep breath, she slowly eased herself up. She went to the linen closet and retrieved a clean pillowcase. She shoved her old one to the back of a rarely opened bureau drawer.

She tried to compose herself and make herself believe she was overreacting. However, she knew her own body, and she had known for weeks something was not right with her, and she could feel it getting worse. She had known it without a doubt yesterday after she fainted while out shopping with Fran, but she managed to ignore it. Today, she couldn't ignore it anymore. C.C. knew in her heart she had to be dangerously ill.

C.C. was sitting on the edge of the bed trying to prevent her mind from leaping to the worst-case scenario when Niles came into the bedroom. "C.C., is something wrong? Are you all right?"

She jumped at the unexpected sound of his voice behind her. "I'm fine," she lied. "Why did you let me sleep so late?"

"Because you needed it. And I've got good news. I called your doctor, and he has agreed to work you in today between your meeting and when we take Molly to see Santa." C.C. started to protest, but Niles wasn't having it. "Max said your meeting is at the theater. Molly and I will pick you up there and take you to the doctor. Then, we'll hit the mall to see Santa. By the way, the Sheffields aren't coming with us to today. Max's sister is in town for a few hours before she catches a flight to San Francisco, and she wants to see the twins. They're going to see Santa this weekend. I figure if Molly has a meltdown today like she did last year, we can take her again with the twins. Maybe, she would be calmer the second time around. C.C., are you listening to me?"

C.C. made herself focus on what Niles was saying instead of the ramifications of a doctor's visit. "Of course, I'm listening. I'm thinking about what you said about taking me to the doctor. I don't want Molly at the doctor's office. She might catch a bug there around all those sick people. How about I meet you in the food court at 2 o'clock? I don't want Molly sick at Christmas. I want this year's holiday to be perfect."

Niles' face clouded over with sadness as her statement hung in the air. Last year, at about this same time, his mother had passed away unexpectedly. Niles had just spoken to his parents over the phone a few days before she died. His mother had bronchitis, but no one thought it was serious. However, the bronchitis turned into pneumonia, and she had died quickly, almost without warning. There wasn't even time for Niles to say goodbye. Naturally, he and his father had been devastated. Niles, C.C., and Molly rushed to England for the funeral, and stayed there for two weeks prior to Christmas. Molly hadn't taken the trip well. The combination of the plane rides, being away from home for the first time, the grief she didn't understand, and the people she didn't know had extremely upset her. They had returned home to a nice Christmas with the Sheffields, but the holidays weren't the same. Niles had taken his mother's death hard, and he was still grieving her loss. C.C. wanted Christmas this year to make up for the sadness of last year's. She wanted it to be perfect for Niles' sake.

He managed a gloomy smile. "This Christmas will certainly be better than last year." They were both silent for a long moment as they remembered the previous year's pain. Niles was the first to come back to the present. "I need to get back downstairs. Hurry up! Your eggs are getting cold."

Alone in the bedroom, C.C. summoned her strength. I have to hang on until after the holidays. There's probably nothing wrong with me, anyway. It's only a sinus infection, like Niles suggested last night. Niles had a rotten holiday last year, and I don't want anything ruining Christmas for either him or Molly or even me.

C.C. thought back to her own childhood holidays. She thought of her parents who were always fighting. They spitefully battled over visitation schedules when neither of them actually wanted the kids, but they didn't want the other to have them, either. She thought of the mountains of gifts her parents sent nannies and hapless assistants out to buy, mistakenly believing the children wouldn't know the difference. She remembered her parents' endless parade of significant others who didn't want the kids around, either. Once, her mother had refused to allow C.C. and her siblings to go to Stuart's for Christmas because it was not his scheduled time to have them. Then, B.B. blithely flew off to Mexico with her boyfriend leaving the children all alone on Christmas.

Before she married Niles, the only happy holidays C.C. could recall were the ones when her great-grandmother, Claire, was still alive. Although she only came to visit once a year at Christmastime, C.C. remembered her great-grandmother vividly. Noel and D.D. were scared of her, but the old woman fascinated C.C. She used to hold C.C. on her lap and recite 'A Visit from Saint Nick' while drinking a highball. Then, they would go to the kitchen and bake sugar cookies for Santa. Grandma Claire was arthritic and used a cane to walk. C.C. could still see her brandishing the cane at the servants to chase them out of the kitchen. "I've been making these damn cookies all my life, and I sure as hell don't need any help making them now!" she yelled at the frightened staff.

She and C.C. would leave the cookies and a shot of whiskey, "Santa doesn't like milk," Grandma Claire claimed, on a table near the Christmas tree. The next morning, a delighted C.C. would find the cookies and the whiskey gone.

Claire always gave C.C. a beautiful porcelain doll for Christmas. C.C. had taken good care of the dolls, and she was looking forward to the day when Molly was old enough to appreciate them. Unfortunately, Grandma Claire died when C.C. was nine years old, and this was the end of real any holiday happiness C.C. had known. She didn't want Molly's life to bear any resemblance to her own. She only wanted warm, happy memories for Molly…cookies, stockings, Santa, snow, family, friends…the whole holiday enchilada. With this in mind, C.C. went over to her desk and looked up her doctor's office number. She called and cancelled the appointment Niles made for her.

TNTNTNTNTNTN

C.C. found Niles and Molly in the food court eating hot fudge sundaes. "Hi, Mommy!" Molly sang out happily.

"Hi, sweethearts!" C.C. greeted them brightly as she slung an arm around each of their shoulders and gave them a hearty squeeze. She sat down, took Niles' spoon, and ate a bite of his ice cream. "Ooo! That's good."

Niles cut directly to the chase. "What did the doctor say?"

She shrugged and tried to sound matter-of-fact and unconcerned. "He says I have a viral infection, and I need to take it easy for a while - no dusting, vacuuming, cooking..." She smacked her forehead. "Oh yeah, you already do all that." She felt a pang of guilt for lying to him, but dismissed it as a necessary evil.

"Sounds like a great disease. Where do I sign up?"

"The doctor said if you were going to catch it, you would have gotten it by now." She scraped a big blob of hot fudge off his sundae. She wasn't particularly hungry, but she knew Niles knew how much she loved hot fudge. He probably ordered the sweet treat in her honor, and he would be expecting her to steal it from him. "Which is why you can share your ice cream with me." She grinned impishly and scooped off more hot fudge and then popped the cherry into her mouth.

"Hey! The cherry is the best part!" He brought his face to hers. "Give it back," he demanded before kissing her chocolaty lips.

Molly, too young to be embarrassed by her parent's public displays of affection, impatiently pulled on her mother's hand. "Let's go! Let's go see Santa!"

C.C. pointed to the end of the long line. "You heard the lady!"

They waited in the endless line, practicing with Molly what she should say to Santa Claus until C.C. felt like she was going to melt into the floor. When it was finally Molly's turn, her eyes became as round as saucers and her lower lip started to tremble. It took all of C.C.'s strength, but she managed to pick her up.

"Remember what we talked about? Santa won't hurt you. Don't cry. You're Mommy's big girl. See, all the other kids didn't cry."

"Some d, d, did," Molly whimpered in protest.

Niles ruffled her hair. "All you have to do is sit on his lap and tell him what you want him to bring you for Christmas. It's easy as pie. There's nothing to be scared of."

C.C.'s arms felt like lead, and she knew she didn't have the strength to hold Molly much longer. "Here, Niles. Take her."

"Ready?" he asked with a reassuring smile.

Molly nodded yes, but her lip protruded even further. Niles sat her on Santa's lap.

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" the tired but game elf exclaimed. "What's your name, little girl?"

The child mutely stared up at him. Niles gently prompted her, "Tell Santa your name."

"M, M, Mollwee."

"A pretty name for a pretty girl. What do you want for Christmas, Molly?" She hesitated again. "Once you tell me, I'll give you a candy cane."

"Go on, sweetheart," Niles coaxed, "Talk to him."

Molly finally found her voice. "A doll that says Ma Ma. A wed firetwuck like Jonah's. A dwess for Chester. And, and..." She scrunched up her little face as she struggled to remember what her mother had coached her to say while Niles was busy chatting with another father in line. "And, a new fweather dwuster for Daddy."

Niles cut his eyes at C.C., and she leered at him seductively and blew him a kiss. The photographer snapped Molly's picture.

"Candy cane?" Molly demanded. Santa gave her the candy, and she jumped off his lap.

Niles grabbed her before she got away and turned her back to face Santa. "Remember what you are supposed to say?"

"Twank you!"

Later that evening, Niles found C.C. in the living room holding a sleeping Molly on her lap. Before making his presence known, he stopped to admire the two loves of his life. His heart swelled with unending love for them, and he said a little prayer of thanks to God for giving him such joy. He gently ran his hands over the two blonde heads and smiled down at C.C. "Want me to put her to bed?"

She shook her head. "Not just yet. I'm enjoying this. Soon, she'll be too big to hold."

Niles snuggled up beside them and rested his head against C.C.'s shoulder. Completely at peace, he dozed off to sleep. C.C. sat there alone, with the two people she loved most in the world, lost in her own thoughts. "December 15th. Ten days. I feel like hell, but it's only ten days until Christmas. I can last ten days. Please, just give me ten days."

TNTNTNTNTNTN

Hiding the extent of her illness had been difficult, but C.C. managed to do it. She almost believed the lie that whatever was wrong with her would keep until after she had spent a happy Christmas with her family. She and Maxwell had closed the office for the season so she didn't have to contend with work. She was still coughing up blood, even the slightest cut bled profusely, and she bruised easily. Worst of all, she was terribly weak. The weakness was the hardest part to hide from her family and friends. C.C. went to her room to rest every chance she got, claiming it was the viral infection making her tired.

The only reason she was able to keep her condition from Niles was that the holiday season had kept him extremely busy and distracted. Maxwell had thrown two parties, one for true friends of the family and one for his business associates. In an effort to help Grace become more popular, Fran insisted Grace have a party for her classmates. Brighton threw one for his friends, too. Fran hosted a Hanukkah celebration for her family, and a Christmas party for the kids' play group. In addition to organizing the parties, Niles had to make preparations for the family's own Christmas celebration. With all the hubbub, Niles was exhausted himself and hadn't noticed C.C. was going downhill. He had taken her word she had seen the doctor and had no reason to believe she was seriously ill. Therefore, what he did notice about her ill health, he attributed to the virus.

"You're feeling worse, aren't you?" He asked one morning after he had discovered her back in bed shortly after breakfast.

"A little bit," she shamelessly lied, "but the doctor said it might get worse before it gets better. Don't worry. I'll be fine."

He bent down and kissed her and then tucked the covers around her. "I'll always worry about you." He watched as she dropped back off to sleep, thinking he should call her doctor's office for another appointment, but the sounds of a toddler brawl over a toy sent him scurrying downstairs to play referee.

TNTNTNTNTNTN

Christmas Eve was the most difficult day yet for C.C. The family, excluding Maggie and Michael who had opted to stay in Paris for the holiday, had spent the entire day together so she wasn't able to slip away and rest. The kids' excitement was at a fever pitch. They were so eager for Santa Claus to come, and C.C. didn't want to miss a minute of it. After all, this is what she had been waiting for.

C.C. sat dully through dinner in agony, willing herself to stay in the moment, to enjoy her husband and her daughter and her extended family during the joyous celebration. Her heart was beating erratically and her back was aching so badly she could scarcely stand it. C.C. had lost count of the aspirins she had taken, and still, the pain hadn't given an inch. Her dinner untouched, she sat there with a frozen smile on her face as Molly, Jonah, and Eve chattered about opening presents and leaving cookies for Santa. Niles noticed something was off with his wife, and he was anxious to get her alone to find out what was wrong.

Fran had promised the kids they could each open one gift if they cleaned their plates. The kids had readily complied and immediately after dinner, they insisted on opening the gifts. As the rest of the family made their way to the Christmas tree, C.C. staggered into the kitchen in search of more aspirin. Niles followed on her heels and caught her just as the excruciating pain she was in brought her to her knees. She disintegrated into his embrace while her mind went spinning down a vortex of pain.

Niles cradled her head in the crook of his arm and lightly shook her. "C.C.! C.C.!"

"Niles...Niles," she panted, "something's wrong." As a tear slipped down her cheek, she passed out.

Fran happily bounced through the kitchen door. "Hey, you two, the kids are open...Niles! What the hell happened?"

"Fran, call an ambulance! C.C.'s fainted. She's burning up. Please tell them to hurry!"

Fran made the call and then rushed back to the living room. She spoke calmly, but with the authority of a drill sergeant. "Gracie, Brighton, take the kids upstairs to their room. Get them ready for bed."

Maxwell, ignorant of the situation, couldn't believe she was sending the children to bed. "But why, Fran? It's still early. We haven't even sung Christmas carols yet...and…" He stopped protesting when he saw the look on her face.

Grace whined, "Come on, Fran. They haven't had a chance to play with their new toys."

Max gave Grace a little push. "Go ahead and take them upstairs. They can play up there."

Sensing something was amiss, Brighton started gathering up toys and children. "Yeah, Gracie. Come on, kids. Let's go play in your room."

Max waited for the children to make it out of earshot before asking, "Fran, what's going on?"

With panic rising, Fran clutched at the lapels of his suit jacket to steady herself. "C.C. blacked out. I've called an ambulance. I don't want the kids to see what's going on. Max, she's so pale. I'm scared!"

Max and Fran joined Niles in the kitchen where he was still cradling C.C. on the floor. "Where's damn ambulance?" Niles roared.

Fran knelt down beside them and ran a shaky hand over C.C. hot forehead. "It'll be here any minute. Just hold on."

"Why won't she wake up?"

Max nodded toward the kitchen door. "Maybe we should move her to the living room. It will be easier for the paramedics to get to her there."

"The children?" Niles questioned.

"They're upstairs."

Niles put an arm under C.C.'s knees and lifted her up. He carried her to the living room and laid her gently on the sofa. He knelt beside her and pushed a stray lock of hair out of her eyes. "Come on, baby, wake up! Please wake up."

Finally, they heard the scream of sirens, and Max ushered the paramedics into the house. In short order, C.C. was placed on a gurney and wheeled out. Niles insisted on riding in the ambulance with her.

Max and Fran announced their intention to follow in the car, but Niles stopped them. "No. Stay here. It's Christmas. Someone has to be here for the children. I'll call you."

TNTNTNTNTNTN

Niles sat next to C.C's bed holding her hand and pleading with her to wake up. "Damn it, Babcock!" he hissed. "Open your eyes!" He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up. "Max, what are you doing here at this hour?"

Max smiled sheepishly, "I couldn't stay away. Don't worry about the kids. Fran is with them. Although, she's a basket case."

"That makes two of us," Niles replied miserably.

"I may not be able to stay long. I'm not supposed to be in here. I sneaked in while the nurse had her back turned. How is she? You didn't have much to say over the phone."

"That's because there isn't much to tell. The doctors don't know what's the matter with her, or if they do, they haven't told me yet. Apparently, she has a very high fever caused by an infection, but they haven't determined what kind of infection." Niles looked up at him with tears in his eyes. "Max, I think it's bad."

Max squeezed his friend's shoulder. "Don't jump to conclusions, Niles. C.C.'s strong. She'll be fine."

Niles shook his head. "Due to the holidays, most of the doctors on duty are young. Even I can tell they are wet behind the ears. Whenever one looks at her chart, he gets a funny look on his face and mumbles something about needing to bring in a specialist."

"What kind of specialist? When will he get here?"

"I don't know. Whenever they can pull one off the damn ski slopes, I suppose. In the meantime, they are giving C.C. blood transfusions because she is severely anemic and medications to fight the infection and to bring down the fever." He rubbed his gritty, tear stung eyes and quietly added, "I'm so frightened for her."

Not knowing how to respond, Maxwell simply stood by his friend, until Niles eventually asked about Molly. "She's okay," Max reassured him. "She cried for you two at bedtime, but Fran managed to rock her to sleep."

"You should go home and get some sleep, too." Niles said.

"I'd rather stay with you, old man."

"No, I'm fine. Tomorrow, that is today, is Christmas...Molly...I can't leave C.C."

"Don't worry about Molly. She has a ton of presents to open. That will keep her occupied. And, we will take lots of pictures for you and C.C."

"Thank you." Niles stood up and the two men embraced.

"I'll see you soon," Max whispered to C.C. He kissed his finger and placed it on her forehead. "You hang in there."

TNTNTNTNTNTN

Niles sat in Dr. Andrew Roth's office, dread mounting with every word out of the hematologist's mouth. "I don't understand why you can't give me any definite answers. First, you tell me you think she has leukemia. Then, you change your mind. It's been over two days since C.C. was admitted. Surely, you've some idea what's wrong with her by now."

In contrast to Niles' exhausted shrill voice, Dr. Roth kept his voice neutral and patient. "We haven't made a definite diagnosis. All of the patient's test results aren't in yet. In order to treat an individual, we must have all the facts. We can't treat her properly until we know the whole picture."

"Her name is C.C.," Niles remarked flatly.

"What?"

Agitated, Niles stood up and leaned over the doctor's large desk so he could look the man in the eyes. "Her name is C.C. Her name isn't the patient. It's not individual. It's not a pronoun. It's C.C. Or wife, as in, my wife, the person I intend to grow old with. Or Mommy, as in, the mother of our daughter, who misses her mother terribly. Damn it! You have to find out what's wrong with my wife! Stop giving me the runaround!" Dr. Roth's small round eyes were almost black, and Niles could see nothing in them.

"Please, calm down," the M.D. coolly replied. "I was about to say that I think we may have some news for you by this afternoon. Also, on the up side, I see from C.C's chart that her fever has gone down some today. This is a good sign."

"It's not enough."

"Niles, you're obviously overwrought and exhausted. Anyone in your position would be. Why don't you go home and get some rest? I'll see you later this afternoon or tomorrow morning."

"I'm not leaving her, but I do appreciate you lifting the visitation restrictions for me." The hospital's intensive care unit had strict visitation rules, and normally, Niles' access to C.C. would have been limited, but thanks to Dr. Roth, Niles was allowed to come and go as he pleased. As a result, he seldom left C.C.'s side.

Dr. Roth smiled slightly as he put away C.C.'s medical file. "In special cases, I believe as long as the patient isn't being tired out by visitors, then there's no harm done."

TNTNTNTNTNTN

Later that afternoon, C.C. regained full consciousness for the first time since she had been hospitalized. Niles was holding her hand, and he tightened his grip when he saw her eyes flutter open and close again. "Baby, it's time to wake up. Come on, C.C."

"Niles?" she rasped, barely audible.

Grinning from ear to ear, Niles pulled down the green surgical mask he was wearing. "It's me, see? They make me dress up like Dr. Kildare in order to see you. The doctors don't want you to catch any of my cooties."

"Where am I?...I'm so thirsty."

He put his hand behind her neck and gently raised her head up. He put a cup of water with a straw to her lips. She took a sip. "There, better? You're in the hospital." He added pointedly, "You're viral infection seems to have taken a turn for the worse."

C.C. only nodded, too ill to care that her deceit had finally caught up with her. "Molly?"

"She's fine." He picked up a snapshot of her from the table by the bed. "See, here she is opening her Christmas presents. Fran says she loves her new doll and the fire truck is a hit. She's very proud of the fact that her truck is bigger than Jonah's and isn't missing any opportunity to point it out to him."

"I missed Christmas?" Tears sprang to her eyes and trickled down her cheeks.

"Hey, hey…baby, don't cry. As soon as you get out of here we will do Christmas all over again. We'll do the dinner, the gifts, the whole nine yards." Niles saw she was fighting to stay awake. "Close your eyes, baby, rest. I'm going to take care of everything."

Niles saw Max and Fran through the glass in the door and after fussing with C.C.'s blankets for bit, joined them.

Fran swallowed him in a bear hug. "Sweetie! How are you holding up?"

"Thank God, she finally woke up," he beamed in exhausted relief as he stepped into Fran's open arms. "She's finally awake! Now, if only I knew what is wrong with her, but I can't get a straight answer. All I get is doubletalk and doctor speak." He spied Dr. Roth striding down the hallway in his customary fast walk with a thick manila file in his hand. "Oh, here's Dr. Roth now."

Dr. Roth gave Maxwell and Fran a cursory nod before turning his attention to Niles. "I have news for you, Niles. Let's step into a consultation room down the hall."

"Would you like us to go with you?" Maxwell asked.

"Yes, please."

The consultation room was a windowless claustrophobic space with a small table, a hard plastic chair, and a lumpy mauve loveseat that had seen better days. Niles sat on the loveseat with Fran next to him. Dr. Roth pulled up the chair opposite them. Max stood by Niles with his hand lightly resting on Niles' shoulder.

"I know how anxious you have been, Niles. We're still waiting for one more series of tests to come back. I sent C.C.'s samples to a more sophisticated lab than what we have available here to confirm our lab's results."

Niles snapped, "I thought you said you had some news for me." Maxwell tightened his grip on Niles' shoulder as if to say, steady, old man.

"I believe I know what the problem is, but I can't be positive until the last set of tests comes back. I can tell you what I think C.C.'s illness is, or we can wait until the other lab sends in its official report."

"Tell me what you think."

"From all indications, C.C. appears to have aplastic anemia."

Fran breathed a sigh of relief. "Anemia doesn't sound so bad. I've had it before. I took a few iron pills, and I was as good as new."

Dr. Roth answered her in his characteristic neutral, detached tone. "Unfortunately, aplastic anemia is a relatively rare and serious form of anemia. Less than one thousand people in the United States are diagnosed with it each year."

"What exactly is it?" Niles was terrified of the answer, but had to ask the question.

"In a nutshell, C.C.'s bone marrow has stopped producing blood cells. As you may know, blood carries oxygen to the body. It also contains the components which clot the blood and fight infection. Essentially, C.C. has no immune system, and therefore, she has no defense against illnesses. This is why we require her visitors to dress in surgical garb to protect her from any germs we may be carrying. Also, her blood cannot clot on its own. At this point, even a superficial injury is dangerous."

Niles swallowed hard then asked, "What can be done for her? Is it curable?"

Dr. Roth's black eyes and tone were unwavering. "Some cases are curable. C.C. is a relatively young woman, and she is in overall good health with no preexisting conditions. However, aplastic anemia is an insidious disease. It undermines a person's entire system. It will be a hard battle for her to fight. The fact it was very advanced before she was diagnosed is a strike against her." The physician's tone changed slightly. His voice now carried a note of awe. "Honestly, I am amazed she stayed on her feet as long as she did. Most people would have succumbed long before she did. This is a testament to her strength, but it would have been much better to have caught this in its earlier stages."

"What do we do?" Maxwell asked, his hand still on Niles' shoulder.

"The first step is to get her over this infection. Afterward, it will be imperative to get C.C. healthy and keep her that way. She will be given preventative antibiotics and will have to more or less be quarantined for the foreseeable future. The blood and platelet transfusions will most likely have to be continued indefinitely. When she's stronger, we'll attempt drug therapy."

"Drug therapy?" Fran asked.

"Basically, we will use drugs to try to jump start, so to speak, her bone marrow into functioning on its own again. However, I must warn you, transfusions and drugs are usually not effective for advanced cases like C.C's."

"And if they don't work?" Another terrifying question for Niles.

"We're looking at a bone marrow transplant."

"Are they usually successful?" Max asked hopefully.

"It varies from case to case. It's a grueling process, and some patients don't qualify. First, we have to get her healthier and stronger. Then, she will have to go through chemotherapy to kill all of her own marrow cells. Regrettably, some patients don't survive the chemotherapy."

"So the cure could kill her? And what if the transplant doesn't work?" Niles exhaled a frustrated sigh and rubbed his face.

"Niles, sometimes, we have to concentrate on the quality of life rather than the quantity of life." Dr. Roth's ominous words hung in the air for a long moment, then he lightly slapped his knees and continued, "But we're getting ahead of ourselves. I'm just giving you an overview of the situation. Nothing has to be decided today. Unfortunately, this isn't something that is going to go away quickly. As I said, the first step is to get C.C. over this infection." He thumbed through the file he brought with him and produced some papers and pamphlets. He handed them to Fran after Niles, dumbstruck, simply sat there. "I've compiled some information about the disease and its treatments. Go over it. Hopefully, it will help you sort through this. Naturally, I'll be available to answer any questions."

Maxwell couldn't let the subject of the bone marrow transplant go. "Dr. Roth, should we be looking for potential bone marrow donors? Should we start now?"

"Well, Mr. Sheffield, there is no definite timetable because a lot depends on how C.C.'s condition progresses, but assuming a transplant is a viable option, the sooner a donor is found, the better. Approximately 30% of patients find a donor within the family. Full siblings are the best matches. Does C.C. have any siblings?"

"Yes, a brother and a sister," Niles answered robotically.

"There is no reason why they shouldn't be tested immediately." If they don't live in the city, they can go to any hospital to be tested. The results can be forwarded to me. The more removed the relation, the less likelihood for a match, but it certainly doesn't hurt for other family members to be tested, too. Even if they aren't a match for C.C., they can be registered with the National Marrow Donor Program. That is, if they are interested in helping someone else."

"Not bloody likely," Niles mumbled under his breath.

"If we don't find a match within her family, it's possible to find a match out of the general population, but it will take more time. Will you contact her family?"

Niles nodded solemnly, "Yes, of course I will."

The last thing Niles wanted to do was speak to C.C.'s family again, but for her sake, he did so. Earlier, he had called to tell them C.C. was extremely ill, but so far, none of them seemed to understand the gravity of the situation. Stuart had been concerned about his daughter, but not enough to fly back to New York. He was involved in a major business deal on the west coast and didn't dare leave it at such a delicate time. "Keep me posted," he ordered Niles.

Her mother, B.B., the cruel witch, hadn't even pretended to give a damn. "I hope you're not expecting me to cancel my trip to Switzerland over this. I just bought a new chalet, and I'm going over to redecorate it. C.C. was always my most dramatic child. You two have probably blown this all out of proportion. I'm sure she'll be fine in a few days."

Niles couldn't find D.D. He had left messages on her answering machine and with her staff, but she hadn't returned his calls.

Noel, the most sensitive of the family, had taken the news the hardest. Niles could tell C.C.'s brother was genuinely upset. Noel told Niles that he was coming to New York immediately, but he called back a few hours later from a bar, weepy and drunk. He claimed he couldn't bear to see his favorite sister deathly ill. Niles told him to stay put, and he would keep him updated. Niles didn't really want the weak ninny around, anyway.

Immediately after the meeting with Dr. Roth, Niles began making calls to C.C.'s family. He phoned D.D. first, but he still couldn't reach her so he left another message. Stuart offered to fly to New York to be tested, but was obviously relieved when Niles informed him he could be tested at any hospital. To his credit, Stuart offered to try to find D.D., and he volunteered to contact the more distant Babcock family members to ask them to be tested as well.

B.B., now firmly ensconced in Switzerland, informed Niles she had no intention of returning to the States, but she did concede to be tested at a nearby Swiss clinic. B.B. was annoyed at the inconvenience, but she did feel a slight tug of fear at her heart for her daughter. Maybe the male maid wasn't being an alarmist, and there is something to this, she mused as her latest paramour poured her another snifter of cognac.

Noel readily agreed to be tested, but still couldn't bring himself to visit C.C. He wept again, sniffling and wheezing pathetically in Niles' ear. Niles did his best to comfort him, but he resented how Noel had somehow made the situation about himself instead of C.C.

It was worrisome to Niles that D.D. could not be located, but the doctor assured Niles the transplant would not take place in the immediate future. Dr. Roth wanted to give the drug therapy an opportunity to work before putting C.C. through the risky transplant procedure. There was still plenty of time to find D.D.

TNTNTNTNTNTN

After three grueling weeks, C.C. was finally released from the hospital. However, she was required to return to the hospital on almost a daily basis to have her blood count checked and to receive blood transfusions when necessary. Her risk of contracting an infection was so great that she could have very little contact with other people. Niles was the only person with whom she had unlimited contact, which was chancy, but C.C. wouldn't have it any other way. The Sheffields and the Fines visited, but they had to wear a mask or stay several feet away from her.

Unfortunately, C.C. couldn't see Molly or the other children often. This broke C.C's heart and was confusing to Molly. Dr. Roth had warned them that children were 'walking germ factories', and they posed a greater risk to C.C.'s health than anyone else. Making matters worse was the nagging winter cold Molly and the twins constantly passed back and forth to each other. Fran did her best to take up the slack with Molly. The adult members of the family, including Brighton, took turns accompanying C.C. to her numerous medical appointments.

There was a great deal of unintentional tension in the household. Everyone was aware that although C.C. had improved, she was still desperately ill. The family was at a loss as to how to treat her, and they walked on eggshells. C.C. felt awkward as well. She felt like a burden to everyone, and she hated not being able to take care of herself. C.C. Babcock had never in her life needed to depend on anyone. She had learned from a young age she had only herself to rely on. Everyone else had always failed her. After she married Niles, C.C. slowly allowed herself to need and depend on him, but in the back of her mind, she had always known she could take care of herself if the need arose. However, this illness had stolen her strength and her confidence. C.C. felt absolutely powerless.

The days stretched into weeks of never-ending doctors' appointments and medical procedures. C.C. stayed in her and Niles' personal rooms most of the time. This was better for her health because it kept her isolated. Niles continued to work, but he visited her every chance he got during the day.

TNTNTNTNTNTN

C.C. was in their sitting room playing solitaire on her laptop when Niles entered, speaking in a pleasant, singsong voice, "Time to take your medicine."

Never looking up from her game she asked, "How are you, Mr. Tidy Bowl? Clean any good toilets today?"

Niles knew by her tone the remark wasn't an attempt to be funny. He let the comment pass and began to open various bottles of pills. "I'm sorry I haven't been able to see you more today. I had to do some marketing and run a few errands. I peeked in a couple of times this morning, but you were asleep. How are feeling? Did you have a nice visit with Sylvia this afternoon?"

Her blue eyes had changed to gray, a sure sign she was angry. "I'm just great!" she snarled.

Niles held out a cupped handful of pills. "Here you go."

C.C. petulantly crossed her arms. "I don't want to take my medicine right now."

"You have to take it NOW. Here."

"Niles, I am not a child. I am perfectly capable of taking my own damn pills by myself."

She pushed his hand away and sent the medication flying. Pills bounced and scattered across the floor.

He blew out an exasperated puff of air and bent to gather up the medication. "Oh, that was real mature. What's the matter with you? You've been deliberately trying to make me angry ever since I walked in here.

"Angry?" she snapped back, "I'm making you angry? Well thank god for some emotion from you, even if it is anger. What's the matter with me?! You want to know what's the matter with me?! Okay, I'll tell you. I'm sick of being treated like a stranger in my own home."

"You aren't..."

She cut him off. "Then, why do I have to hear about what goes on around here from the nanny's mother?" This was the first time since she and Fran had become friends that C.C. had referred to Fran's former staff position in such a way.

"What are you talking about?" He asked the question, but he was beginning to understand.

"I had to hear from Sylvia that Sheffield-Babcock Productions lost the actor we've been courting for months to Andrew Lloyd Webber. That man was going to make us a fortune. I also heard Fran had an accident with the children in the car. Oh yeah, and your father called this afternoon while you were out. Good news! The test results were negative. He doesn't have cancer!" By this time, C.C. was shouting at him.

"Please calm down. This isn't good for you." He took her by the shoulders and tried to push her back down on the sofa, but she shoved him away.

"Damn right this isn't good for me."

"We didn't tell you any of these things because you have enough on your mind."

"Don't I have the right to know what's going on with my own damn family and career?"

"Yes, of course you do. I'm surprised Maxwell didn't tell you about losing the actor. I'm sure he would have gotten around to it eventually. And the car accident wasn't much more than a fender bender. Someone rear ended Fran, but the children were safely buckled into their car seats. No one was hurt. They were a little shaken up at first, but they wound up having a ball. The officer who took the accident report let them sit in the police car and play with the siren, and he gave them each a toy badge. When I arrived to pick them up, they didn't want to leave they were having such a good time. I didn't tell you about it because I knew it would upset you. Dr. Roth says no unnecessary stress."

A bit calmer now C.C. asked, "Did you take them to the doctor and get them checked out?"

"There was no need. They were perfectly fine."

"What about your father? You can't honestly tell me you weren't worried sick about him."

"Worried sick is normal operating procedure for me these days."

C.C.'s anger sparked again. "Go ahead, make me feel guilty. Why don't you just admit you've been acting like a jerk? God knows what else you haven't told me. You have no right to keep things from me."

"Why are you picking a fight with me? I understand you are upset, but why are you taking it out on me?"

In her heart, C.C. knew she was in fact, taking it out on him, but she couldn't stop herself. "Niles, I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I want everyone, especially you, to stop treating me like a china doll. I want my husband back. You've been sleeping on that old cot even though Dr. Roth said you could sleep in bed with me. And, you never talk to me anymore."

"That's not true," he protested, "I talk to you all the time."

"Yeah right!" she sneered, "C.C., did you remember to take your vitamins? It's time to take your medication. Eat your vegetables, CC. They're good for you. Take a nap. Don't overdo it, C.C. …. Niles, don't you understand? I don't want you to be my damn nurse. I want you to be my husband."

"Do you think any of this is easy for me? I'm doing the best I can. For everyone's sake, I'm trying to maintain some semblance of normalcy in our home. Do you think it's easy being both parents to Molly? Continuing to work? And the hardest part of all, I try to take care of you, but you won't let me." He threw up his hands in frustration and began to pace the room. "I feel so helpless and yet so responsible for your wellbeing. How can I behave normally? As if everything is fine? How can I talk to you about meaningless, stupid things like we used to like what the neighbors' butler told me about his boss's wife and the chauffer or how Chester chewed up my slippers again or what I'm making for dinner? How can I think about the routine and the trivial or even the serious stuff when my wife might be..." Both his steps and his voice halted mid-sentence.

C.C.'s tone softened and she quietly asked, "Your wife might be what, Niles? Might be dying? It's okay. You can say it. Your wife might be dying."

Niles turned his back to her. C.C. reached out, took his arm, and made him face her. Tears were rolling down his cheeks. She put an arm around his waist and led him to the sofa. They sat down, she pulled him to her, and he wept in her arms.

She stroked his hair and gently rocked him. "Let it out, Niles. Let it go," she murmured over and over. "Just let it go."

Niles allowed himself this one moment to surrender to the grief. Then, he steeled his courage and straightened himself as a wave of guilt washed over him. "I'm sorry, C.C. I should be comforting you, not the other way around."

C.C. tried to draw him back into her arms, but he pushed her away. "Don't, Niles, don't pull away from me. This is what I want. This is what I need. You leaning on me, me leaning on you. The two of us leaning on each other. Aplastic anemia has weakened my body, but not my mind and spirit. On the inside, I'm still the same. I want us to be husband and wife again. I want you to stop hiding things from me, and I want you to start sleeping in our bed again. Dr. Roth said you can as long as you aren't sick, and you never get sick, anyway."

He vehemently shook his head. "I don't think it's a good idea. I could be contagious for days before I realize I'm ill. Do you have any idea how guilty I would feel if I passed an illness on to you? I would never forgive myself."

"Do you have any idea how much good it does me to be with you?" She took his face in her hands and made him look her in the eyes. "Niles, I get my strength to fight this from you. Don't you know that? Please, Niles, please." She wound her arms around his neck and kissed him. He resisted at first, but her insistent lips eventually parted his. He kissed her hesitantly, but she urged him on. C.C. stood up, took him by the hand, and led him to the bedroom. They lay down facing each other, and they kissed each other over and over again. Niles tentatively and earnestly. C.C. urgently and persistently. Eventually, kissing him wasn't enough, and she began to unbutton his shirt.

Niles stilled her hands. "No, baby, I don't think this is a good idea. You're not strong enough."

C.C. gave him a searing kiss. "Let me be the judge of that. Niles, we have to take advantage of what time we have left. There are no guarantees. Please, Niles. I need you to touch me. I need to feel you alive inside of me. Please, Niles, please…" she begged between kisses.

Niles couldn't help but acquiesce. He could never deny her anything, and he had missed her so much. His body ached for her. "You are so beautiful. God, I love you so much."

After they made love, Niles held her while she slept. For a few blissful hours, there was no tortuous illness, no uncertain future. They were simply a man and a woman in love.

TNTNTNTNTNTN

For several weeks, they lived in a holding pattern. C.C. was no better and no worse, and the family settled into an uneasy routine were no one spoke about what could happen, although it was on everyone's mind, until the day when C.C. had to be hospitalized again. Dr. Roth assured the family that something like this was bound to happen no matter how meticulous they had been about preventing her from becoming ill. The doctor pointed out that she could have easily picked up a bug while at the hospital for her treatments, but this did little to help ease their feelings of guilt.

C.C. was fighting a bacterial infection Niles had long since forgotten the name of. She had been sick for days with a dangerously high fever, drifting in and out of consciousness. A precious few times, when she was awake, she was alert and spoke coherently. Mostly, she was lost in a fog of delirium. Niles rarely left her. He didn't want to miss a moment with her, whether lucid or not.

One night was particularly tough for C.C. She had been restless the entire night, and she had not been lucid at all. "Niles? Niles?" she screamed in her sleep. "Where are you? I can't find you! Niles, please don't leave me behind!"

She sounded like a lost, terrified child, and it broke Niles' heart. He spent the entire night holding her hand and speaking softly to her, promising her he would never leave her. He hoped on some level, C.C. knew he was there.

The next morning, the Sheffields visited the hospital. Maxwell forced a slight smile, and asked in a hushed tone, "Hi, Niles. How's C.C.?"

"She, we, had a difficult night. It was as if she was lost, and I couldn't find her. She kept calling for me, and wherever she was, I couldn't get to her. But for the past couple of hours, she's been almost peaceful, thank goodness."

Not knowing what else to do, Fran simply flung an arm around Niles' shoulder and hugged him to her side.

Just then, C.C. opened her eyes and moaned. Niles gently rubbed her cheek with the back of his knuckles. "C.C? C.C.? Can you hear me?"

"Niles?" she croaked.

"I'm here, baby. I'm right here," he reassured her, hoping she wasn't still delirious.

"I've been away." She spoke slowly, but firmly in hoarse whisper.

"I know. Where did you go?"

C.C. sighed dreamily, "A beautiful, bright place. People were happy there."

"Heaven?" Niles asked gently.

"No, it couldn't have been heaven. You weren't there… Niles?"

He had to swallow a sob before he could respond. "Yes?"

C.C. half sang in a low, cracked voice, "When the angels ask me to recall the thrill of them all, I shall tell them I remember you."

"Me, too, baby. Me, too." was the only reply he could muster.

C.C. drifted back to sleep as tears slipped freely down Niles' face. Max led Fran out of the room, and after a moment, Niles followed them.

Fran dabbed at her eyes with a tissue. "What was she talking about? Was she was hallucinating again?"

In spite of his fatigue and fear, Niles smiled. "No, she was very much at herself. She was quoting from one of our favorite songs."

Maxwell put a finger to his lips as he tried to place the lyrics. "Oh, yes, I know it. It's an old torch song by Johnny Mercer. The last line is 'When my life is through, and the angels ask me to recall the thrill of them all, then I shall tell them, I remember you."

"That's beautiful," Fran said.

Niles reddened a bit as he remembered how they used to slow dance to the song, their hands passionately roaming secret but familiar places, and how C.C. would coo in his ear that he was her thrill of them all. "We used to dance to the song often." Feeling self-consciously sentimental he added, "It's sort of our song."

TNTNTNTNTNTN

Niles sat holding C.C.'s hand the same as he had been doing night and day for over two weeks. The cacophony of beeping machines and hissing respirator was deafening. Max slipped into the room unnoticed until he patted Niles on the back.

Surprised, Niles looked up at him through red, bleary eyes. "Maxwell, it's awfully late."

"Niles," Maxwell entreated with grave concern, "you need to go home and get some rest. Please."

"I can't leave C.C."

"But Molly needs you, too. She's having a rough go of it. She doesn't understand where her Mommy and Daddy are. She's been wandering from room to room looking for you and calling for you. Tonight, we haven't been able to get her to stop crying or go to sleep. Fran's doing her best, but Molly needs her father."

"She needs her mother, too," he countered quietly.

"Niles, you can't will C.C. to breathe. You can't will her heart to beat."

"When I'm with C.C, I feel like I have a connection to her, but it's a thin, fragile thread. I'm afraid if I leave her, the thread will break, and I'll lose her forever."

Maxwell pinched the bridge of his nose in an effort to ward off the tears that burned his eyes. C.C.'s illness had brought back memories of long ago when his own wife lay dying. Like Niles, he had stayed with Sarah day and night, bargaining with God to save her and convincing himself that she would live, if for no other reason than because he couldn't live without her. But in the end, he did have to live without her, just as Niles might have to live without C.C. "If sheer will could keep someone alive, Sarah would have never died, but it doesn't work that way. You can't help C.C. if you fall apart. Please, go home. Just for tonight. I'll stay with C.C., and I promise I'll call you immediately if anything happens."

Reluctantly, for Molly's sake, Niles returned home to stay for more than a few minutes for the first time in weeks. As soon as he entered the house, he heard his daughter crying, not a shrieking cry, but more a pitiful moan or wail, and his heart wrenched. He paused at the door of the playroom where Fran sat futilely rocking the inconsolable child. "Hi, Molly," he said softly. She instantly stopped crying and scrambled off Fran's lap. He knelt down, and she threw her arms around his neck. Fran patted Niles' back as she walked past him out of the room.

"Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!" Molly repeated like a chant. Niles sat down in the rocking chair and slowly rocked until they both fell asleep.

TNTNTNTNTNTN

Niles awakened early the next morning still sitting in the rocking chair holding Molly in his arms. The soft rise and fall of her breathing against his chest, so unlike her mother's labored breaths, was a comfort to him.

Fran crept into the room and surveyed the tender father daughter scene. She quietly began to close the blinds in order to block out the streaming rays of sunlight.

"Good morning, Fran." Niles whispered.

Fran jumped. "I didn't know you were awake."

"I just woke up. It's the first time I've slept all night in…I can't remember when."

"A rocking chair isn't exactly a featherbed." She picked up a stray teddy bear and sat down across from him on the window seat.

He turned his neck from side to side in an effort to loosen up the kinks. "Lately, I've been sleeping in positions I never thought possible."

"I'm glad you came home last night. It was Molly's worst night yet."

"I'm sorry. I've neglected her. I haven't –"

Fran interrupted him, "No, I'm not saying she's neglected. It's just that she misses you."

"I have been living in a vacuum with C.C. It's as if nothing else exists except C.C. and the machines keeping her alive." He swept his arm around in a wide arc. "This house, Molly, the family, and my job seem like a wonderful, but far away memory."

"I wish you would let us help you more."

"You've been raising my child for weeks. What more could I ask?"

"I mean help you with C.C."

Niles didn't answer her, and there was a long pause in the conversation. Molly sighed in her sleep, and he ran his hand over her hair and patted her back. "I miss C.C. so much."

"She hasn't gone anywhere, and she's not going to, either."

He stared vacantly at the bear in Fran's lap. "Did you know that until she got sick, we had not slept apart since we were married?" He wasn't expecting her to answer and so he continued, "I miss waking up in her arms. No matter how we fall asleep, whether we go to bed at different times or go to sleep at separate edges of the bed after a fight, somehow during the night, we always wind up in each other's arms. I miss the grin she gets on her face after she has closed a deal or put the fear of god in some unsuspecting theater denizen. I miss how her forehead creases when she's lost in thought. I miss talking with her, making love to her, and seeing her with Molly. Fran, I miss her."

Fran's heart broke for him. "I know, Niles."

"I hate myself because I'm powerless to help her. I hate myself for being so damn angry with her."

Fran's eyebrows arched in surprise. "Angry?"

"Yes, angry. Furious. She told me she had seen a doctor and that she had a harmless virus. Bloody lies!" Molly stirred in her sleep, and he lowered his voice. "You know, there are three stages with aplastic anemia. By the time we got her to the hospital, she was in stage three, the worst stage…the final stage. If she had been diagnosed and treated sooner, maybe things would not have gotten this bad."

"C.C. was trying to spare you, Niles. She just wanted to get through Christmas."

"She didn't trust me to handle it. She thinks I'm weak. That hurts most of all."

Fran tossed the bear aside and knelt down in front of the rocking chair. "That's not true. It isn't you. It's her. I think she wanted to be happy herself. I don't know the half of how bad C.C.'s childhood was, but I know the past few years with you have been the happiest of her life. I think she wanted to hold on to that happiness as long as possible. Don't blame her, Niles."

"I don't blame her. I blame myself. I knew she wasn't feeling well. Fran, she didn't wake up one morning deathly ill. This started slowly and progressed. I should have noticed her failing health a long time ago."

"None of us noticed, Niles."

Suddenly, Molly's head popped up. She gave her father a wide smile, her mother's smile.

"Daddy! Daddy!" She hugged him tightly, and then looked around expectantly. "Mommy?"

"No, Mommy's not here, but she sent you a big hug and kiss." He gave them to her.

Molly's lower lip trembled. "Mommy," she whimpered.

Just then, Jonah and Eve bounded into the room. When they saw Niles, they shrieked in unison, "Uncle Niles!" Delighted to see him, they ran to him and maneuvered themselves so that all three of them were sitting on his lap. Niles hugged and kissed his godchildren.

Fran leaned down and kissed the children and Niles on their foreheads. "I'm going to start breakfast. What would you like?"

"Just coffee. I want to spend a few minutes with the kids. Then, I'll grab a quick shower and go back to the hospital."

Fran fed the children in the kitchen while Niles showered. The phone rang, and she answered it on the first ring. It was Max on the line. "Good morning, sweetie. How's C.C.?"

"She's the same, but Dr. Roth came by looking for Niles. He wants to talk to him about a new treatment for C.C.'s infection."

"What kind of new treatment?"

"I'm not sure… Listen, sweetheart, I promised Niles I wouldn't leave C.C. alone. I should get back to her."

"Okay, I'll let him know. Bye, Max. I love you."

Niles came down the back stairs into the kitchen. "Let me know what? C.C.'s not worse?"

"No, no, Max says she's the same, but the doctor wants to see you. It's something about a new treatment for C.C."

Niles was out the door almost before Fran had finished the sentence.

TNTNTNTNTNTN

Niles sat in Dr. Roth's office as he had so many times before listening as the doctor held forth with confusing medical mumbo jumbo.

"If you knew about this drug," Niles asked during a break in the conversation when it seemed the doctor was expecting a response, "why didn't you suggest it earlier?"

"The upside of this medication is that it has a high rate of success in knocking out infections. However, patients who receive this drug have a high incidence of stroke."

"How high?" Niles asked, satisfied the discussion had taken a turn he could understand, but at the same time not liking what he was hearing.

Dr. Roth polished his reading glasses with the end of his red stripped tie. "Upwards of 20%, and with C.C.'s already ravished system, I think her risk could be even higher."

"Then, I don't want you to use the drug on her," Niles stated unequivocally.

"C.C. can't go on like this indefinitely. At some point, she'll start to lose the battle. We can continue with the current course of treatment, but in my opinion, if it was going to help her, if would have by now. Actually, it has helped. She is, after all, still alive, but it's not enough."

"So you're saying you think I should agree to use this drug?"

"I cannot make the decision for you."

"What would you do if she were your wife?" Niles pressed.

"That's not a fair question."

"I think it is."

Dr. Roth fiddled with his glasses for several seconds. "I would go with the new treatment."

"That is what I want to do."

TNTNTNTNTNTN

"You told the doctor to give her the experimental medication?" a shocked Maxwell asked as he and Niles sat in the hospital cafeteria over cold coffee and even colder mystery meat. "What if it causes a stroke?"

"Dr. Roth says she can't go on much longer like she is now. I would never forgive myself if she died without getting a shot at the bone marrow transplant."

"But a stroke!" Max interjected.

Niles let out a mirthless laugh. "I know one thing, if she ends up like a vegetable, she will still find a way to kill me for agreeing to the drug."

Max grinned and said, "You are absolutely right about that, my friend."

TNTNTNTNTNTN

Later, Niles sat by C.C.'s bedside and held her hand as the medication that could either help her or make her far worse slowly dripped down from the IV bag.

Thirty-six hours later. So far so good.

Niles was asleep with his head resting on C.C.'s bed, dreaming she was running her fingers through his hair the way she used to do. He opened his eyes and slowly became aware that it was no dream. He turned his head and looked up at C.C. She caressed his cheek. Niles kissed the palm of her hand when it ventured close to his lips. Tears of gratitude and relief welled in his eyes. "Hi, sleepy head."

She had a respirator tube in her mouth so she could not speak, but he saw in her eyes that she was alert and doing much better. Thank goodness! I made the right decision.

A few days later, the infection was officially declared beaten, and she was moved out of ICU and into a private room.

"Dr. Roth says you need to have the transplant soon before something like this happens again. He thinks we have given the transfusions and drugs a fair chance to work, and they haven't been as successful has he had hoped. He believes the transplant is the way to go, but they won't perform the procedure if you get too weak."

How can I possibly get any weaker? C.C. wondered, but kept her thoughts to herself.

He fussed with the numerous flower arrangements sent by family and friends and continued, "We need to find D.D. Are you sure you don't know where she could be?"

"No, Niles," C.C. snapped. "For the 10th time, no."

Niles smiled. She was getting stronger. He could tell because there was finally some fight in her. With C.C., irritability was a good sign.

"I haven't seen her since her half hour visit when Molly was born. D.D.'s always been a free spirit. She has a ton of money and no responsibilities of any kind. It's not unusual for her to drop out of sight for months at a time. She has three ex-husbands, all of whom are constantly trying to weasel money out of her. She likes to keep them off her trail. Besides, we don't even know for sure that she is a match."

"No, but the doctors haven't come up with a match using their system yet. D.D.'s our best bet. I have a good feeling. I just know she'll be the one." He tried to straighten her pillows, but she batted his hands away. "You know, this would be so much easier if you didn't come from a screwball family…"

Suddenly, the door to C.C.'s room banged open, and B.B. Babcock in all of her designer glory strode in. Niles almost had a heart attack for the second time in his life. Anyone who entered the room was supposed to wear sterile, hospital garb, and B.B. was not wearing it.

Ignoring Niles completely, B.B. addressed her daughter, "C.C., I..." but before B.B. could get anything else out, Niles abruptly grabbed her by the upper arm and forced her into the hallway. "What the hell do you think you're doing? Take your hands off me!"

"You can't just walk in there," Niles all but shouted. "Didn't you read the sign on the door? You have to be sterile."

"Nonsense! You act as if I'm a wino off the street. I just got off a plane from Switzerland, I'm exhausted, and I don't intend to waste time playing dress up. I want to see my daughter, now." She turned toward C.C.'s door, and Niles stopped her again.

"Listen to me, bitch," he hissed in a deadly calm voice as he dug his fingers into her arm. "The only way you are going to get through that door without taking the proper precautions is over my dead body. If it were up to me, C.C. would never have to see your face again. But since you're her mother, and I use that term loosely, if she wants to see you, I'll let you in. Now, you go down to the nurses' station and let them help you get dressed while I ask C.C. if she is willing to see you. Or you can leave immediately. Make up your mind."

"I have never in my life been treated so abominably! How dare you manhandle me! I suppose I should have expected it. After all, my daughter did marry the help." She turned on her heel and stomped off to the nurses' station. "I'll be back!"

"What's she doing here?" C.C. asked more annoyed than upset. "I thought you said she was in Switzerland."

"She was. You don't have to see her if you don't want to."

C.C. shrugged. "If I know Mother, she didn't cut her trip short for no reason. Something is on her mind, and we may as well find out what it is."

B.B. returned to the room dressed as required. "Are you satisfied?" she barked at Niles before turning to C.C.

She approached C.C.'s bedside a little more hesitantly this time. B.B. took in her daughter's haggard, gaunt face and drastic weight loss and felt an unexpected well of maternal feelings bubble up in her chest. In her way, B.B. loved her children, but she never seemed to learn how to relate to them, especially her strong-willed daughters. Her son, Noel, a milquetoast who was generally eager to please and having forgotten that he used to get confused and call his nanny Mommy, was much easier to get along with. Of the three, he was the least likely to throw her shortcomings as a mother in her face, not that he wasn't capable of it when he was trying to wheedle something out of her and all else had failed. However, mother and son had settled into a more or less comfortable relationship and often had dinner together. If she couldn't find a date to an event, he could be counted upon to be her willing escort. They chatted about their investments, horse racing, his fine wine collection. She occasionally bought him a new tie or a bottle of wine, and he always sent her flowers on her birthday.

D.D. and C.C., on the other hand, were a different kettle of fish entirely. B.B. hadn't wanted more children after Noel had been born. She had provided Stuart with an heir to the throne, and in B.B.'s opinion, she had done her duty. However, Stuart had insisted upon another child, and thus came D.D. C.C. was strictly an accident. Perhaps her daughters sensed they weren't wanted because unlike Noel, neither D.D. nor C.C. was particularly easy to get along with. B.B. wasn't proud of it, but she couldn't help but see her daughters as competition. First, she had competed with them for Stuart's meager attentions. Later, she competed with them in a more universal sense as women. They were younger, more beautiful versions of herself, and instead of taking comfort in her daughters as she slid into old age, she resented them for the vast opportunities they had remaining while her own chances for happiness were dwindling.

"Mother, what do you want?

B.B. awkwardly patted her daughter's hand. "I'm sorry about your illness, C.C. I had no idea you are so sick."

"You most certainly did!" Niles exclaimed with indignation. "I told you!"

"I am supposed to believe him? A glorified valet? Frankly, I don't trust a word he says. Stuart called me and told me that you could very well die."

"B.B.!" Niles gasped, shocked by the woman's insensitivity.

C.C. only yawned and feigned boredom. "Go on, Mother. Get to the point."

"My point is, you may be dying, and I have no intention of allowing my granddaughter to be raised by a butler. In short, I have come to take her to live with me. The two of you obviously don't have time to care for her properly. Later on, C.C., if you regain your health, then naturally, you can have her back. If not, then I think we would all agree that she is better off with me."

C.C. laughed contemptuously. "This is so rich. As if I would let my daughter go anywhere with you. Molly is almost three years old, and you have never even laid eyes on her."

"Molly. Really, C.C.! How could you name your child after one of our former maids? A maid, who if I remember correctly, was fired for stealing the silver."

"She's not named after the maid, Mother."

"Well, as I was saying, if you die, I will not have my grandchild raised by a common domestic. I would be laughed straight out of the country club."

Livid, C.C. sat up in bed. "I would give Molly to a stranger on the street before I would let you have her. You didn't want your own children. Why would you want Molly?"

B.B. rolled her eyes. "Please! I'm so sick of hearing you children whine about your childhoods. You and your brother and sister were exquisitely fed, clothed, and sheltered. You were given the best educations money could buy. You never wanted for anything. Most people would kill to trade places with the three of you."

"There are two sides to every story. You keep on telling yourself what a great parent you are if it helps you sleep better at night, but you are not getting your claws into my daughter. Do I make myself clear?"

"We'll just see about that!" B.B. huffed.

C.C.'s face flushed and her eye flashed with rage. Niles stepped toward her. "C.C., calm down. B.B., I want you to leave before I do something we will both regret!"

"No!" C.C. shouted. "I want to finish this once and for all. Not that I have to justify anything to you, Mother, but just so you know, Niles is an excellent parent. He helped rear the five Sheffield children, and Molly couldn't ask for a better father." C.C.'s eyes burned with tears, but she refused to let her mother see her cry. "As I stare into the face of death, there are two things that give me the most comfort. Number one is that I was fortunate enough to have the honor of Niles' love. Number two is my child is being and will continue to be raised by him. I cling to the knowledge that her life will never turn out like mine. Now, I want you to leave. Don't you dare bring up the subject of taking Molly away again!"

With that, Niles forcibly removed B.B. from C.C.'s room a second time. "Don't come back!" Niles warned. He escorted her to the elevators, and as if on cue, one opened. He pushed her inside. "Goodbye, B.B."

C.C.'s outburst sapped her small supply of energy. She collapsed back on the bed. "Are you okay?" Niles asked, deeply concerned about her state of mind as well as her physical health. "Do you need a nurse?"

C.C. blotted at her eyes with the corner of the bed sheet. "I'm fine. I just need you to hold me."

Happy to oblige, Niles climbed into bed beside her and cocooned her in his arms until the shrill ring of the telephone interrupted them.

"Niles, I found D.D.!" Stuart's cultured but excited voice thundered into the phone. "She's been on a marathon toot in the South Seas with her boyfriend. She's going to be tested immediately."

TNTNTNTNTNTN

"Niles, we have to talk."

"We are talking."

Tomorrow, C.C. was scheduled to begin the chemotherapy that would destroy her bone marrow in preparation for the transplant. D.D. had been tested, and as Niles had predicted, she was a match. Tomorrow, C.C. would start on a path that would either make her or break her. If she proved too weak, the chemo itself could easily kill her. There was also the looming possibility that the transplant would not be successful. Niles was nervous, and he chattered incessantly as he tried to distract C.C. as well as himself, from what was about to take place.

"Answer my question. When you are well, which would you rather do, take Molly to Disneyland or Disney World?"

C.C. exhaled an impatient breath. "Niles, I'm serious." She turned his chin and made him look directly into her eyes. "There is a chance I won't make it, and I want to settle a few things."

He shook his head and turned away from her so she wouldn't see the fear that had leapt to his face. "I don't want you to think about that."

She took his hands and gently continued, "We have to face this head on. Look, I consulted my attorney this morning while you were at home checking on Molly, and I put my will in order. Of course, I've left everything to you."

"You know I don't care about the money."

Amused by his naiveté, C.C. snickered, "You may not, but my family sure as hell will. My attorney assured me my will is ironclad. My family can't touch my estate. I also made it clear that I want Molly with no one but you. This goes without saying, but who knows what my mother might try to pull if only to spite you. If something…well, if something happens to you, Molly will go to the Sheffields, like we planned."

"This conversation is pointless because you are going to be fine."

CC. held up her hand. "There's more. I don't care what you do with most of my belongings, but I have a few special things I would like people to have. I want you to give all of my theater memorabilia to Maxwell. Fran loves my sapphire earrings. You know the ones she's always borrowing? Give them to her. Brighton can have my convertible. Give Maggie the diamond bracelet you gave me for my birthday last year. I know she helped you pick it out. I want Grace to have my horse. She's crazy about him, and she has ridden him a lot more than I have since Molly came along."

"C.C., please..." Niles' pleaded, unwilling to face his wife's mortality. He raked his hand through his dark blond hair and began to pace the tiny hospital room.

"Niles, are you listening to me? Do I need to write this down for you?"

"Baby, I'm listening to you, but this conversation is killing me, and you act as if you are making out a grocery list."

"I've been thinking about things like this for a long time. There hasn't been much else for me to do lately but contemplate my future or lack thereof." Struggling to maintain her composure, C.C. took a deep breath. "I know it's morbid, but plans have to be made, and it's sort of nice having loved ones to leave my things to, you know? Now, let me finish this... Jonah's so young; I don't suppose he will remember his Auntie C.C. I can't really think of anything of mine he would want." She snapped her fingers as an idea struck her. "I know! Give him the shrunken head from the Amazon that Noel gave me. It's hideous, but boys think stuff like that is cool. Are you sure you can remember all this?"

"I'll remember. Go on."

"For Molly and Eve…When I was a debutante, my parents, who were divorced by this time and never consulted each other about anything, each bought me the exact same pearl necklace to wear at my coming out party. Same jeweler, same pink jewlery box. I don't know why the jeweler didn't tell one of them that the other had bought the same necklace. Anyway, they were furious and had a big fight. I didn't mind because they both bought me even more gifts to try to top each other. I made out like a bandit."

Curious, Niles returned to his post at her bedside. "Which strand did you wear? Your mother's or your father's?"

"I don't know. I closed my eyes, mixed up the necklaces, and chose one. I've worn each necklace over the years. The pearls are exquisite. I doubt Fran will have Molly and Eve be debs, but I want you to give the necklaces to the girls when it's appropriate. When they turn sixteen or graduate college, whenever you feel the time is right. Also, I want Molly to have my engagement and wedding rings."

Niles played with the rings on C.C.'s finger as she continued to speak. "This still leaves quite a bit of jewelry and other stuff. You can give it to Fran and the girls if you want, or sell it. It doesn't matter to me. If you're not careful, D.D. and B.B. will be up in our room during my funeral cleaning you out." C.C. laughed, but Niles didn't see the humor in any of this.

"Are you done now?"

Still in the mood for a joke, C.C quipped, "I forgot you, but I'm expecting you to throw yourself on top of my casket and be buried with me." She laughed again, but Niles didn't join in.

"It's not such a bad idea. My life wouldn't be worth living without you."

C.C. grinned. "Nope that won't work. I'm entrusting you with my greatest treasure, Molly. Seriously, Niles, promise me you won't let my death cast a shadow over her life or yours. I want my two favorite people to be happy. Promise me you won't let Molly end up like me."

"Stop talking about your death. You're not going anywhere." After a beat, the import of her last sentence sunk in. "Hey, what's the matter with turning out to be the second most beautiful, intelligent, magnificent woman who ever lived?"

"You know what I mean. I don't want her to end up cynical and bitter."

"I can't talk about this anymore."

"Fine. I want to talk about something else, anyway."

"What?" he asked dubiously.

"I want to see Molly tomorrow morning."

"I doubt the doctors will agree to that."

"I don't care what the doctors do or do not agree with. I've barely seen Molly since this whole mess started. When I do see her, we are both dressed up in gowns and masks, and that always freaks her out. Tomorrow, I want to see her like everything is normal - no masks, no gloves, no nothing but me and my little girl. I'll check myself out of this damn hospital and go home to see her if I have to."

"C.C., Molly had the sniffles only last week and..."

"I'm going to start chemo. I'm sure any germs I pick up will get zapped."

"I don't know if it works that way."

"Niles, this isn't negotiable. Have Fran bring Molly here tomorrow morning. I want to speak with Fran, too."

Sensing a full-fledged Babcock fit coming on, Niles paused to collect his thoughts before proceeding. He knew his wife needed to see their daughter, but he didn't want anything, not even Molly, to endanger C.C.'s health. A cursory tap at the door saved Niles from having to form an immediate response. A nurse's aide entered with a package that he placed on the bed next to C.C.

Almost bouncing with excitement, she ran her hands over the box. "Oh good! I didn't think it was going to arrive in time."

"What is it?"

"Open it. It belongs to you."

Niles opened the box. Inside were a stuffed unicorn and a handsomely bound book.

"The unicorn is for Molly. The book is for you."

Niles read aloud the title of the book, "The Adventures of Mark and Molly….C.C., what is this?" he asked with astonishment.

"You remember when I had you write up your mother's Mark and Molly stories so I could read them to the kids, right?"

"Sure."

"Well, I sent them to a publisher friend of mine, and he agreed to publish them. At first, it was only supposed to be a vanity publishing just for us, but my friend ended up taking a real interest in the stories. He thinks the book could be a commercial success. If you agree, he's going to market the book. He had the toy made for me to give to Molly. It is a replica of the unicorn illustrations used in the book."

"C.C., I don't know what to say. This is so wonderful! My mother would be so proud! Look! Her name is listed as the author!"

"Of course, they are her stories."

Niles took his wife into his arms. "How can I ever thank you?"

"Loving me is thanks enough."

"Then, baby, you have it in spades."

C.C. felt stronger than she had in weeks, and she was keyed up with nervous energy. Niles brought a portable CD player into her room, and they slow danced like they used to do to their favorite songs. The dancing consisted mainly of clinging to each other and swaying to the music, but the couple reveled in the contact.

When C.C. grew tired, Niles tucked her into bed while Dinah Washington sang for no less than the fifth time that evening, 'I Remember You' softly in the background. C.C. drew him to her. "Stay with me, Niles."

He nodded to his cot in the corner. "I'm not going anywhere."

"No, I mean I need your arms around me tonight."

"The nurses aren't going to like this."

"Tough."

C.C. made room for him, and he climbed into bed. She could hear his heart beating as she snuggled against his chest. Its steady, strong rhythm lulled her to sleep. Periodically, the nurses checked on C.C., but they didn't chase Niles out of her bed.

Niles never closed his eyes. He spent the night staring at C.C. By the dim glow of the bedside lamp, he drank in his wife. He memorized every feature of her face, her eyelashes, her nose, her lips. He breathed in the scent of her. It wasn't of soap or perfume. It was a wonderful scent uniquely C.C. Niles made himself acutely aware of how she felt in his arms. He burned her into his brain so no matter what the future held, he would never forget even the tiniest aspect of his brilliant wife.

He thought about their song and softly sang a few lines, "I remember you. You're the one who made my dreams come true a few kisses ago...God, please let her live," he prayed.

TNTNTNTNTNTN

The next morning, C.C. woke up and smiled at Niles. "Today's the big day. How did you sleep?"

"Like a log," he fibbed.

"I want you to go get Molly and Fran. Please."

Niles carried Molly up to the door of her mother's room, sat her down, and knelt in front of her. "Molly, do you remember what we talked about in the car? About how Mommy is not feeling well? Remember you have to treat her quietly and gently?" Molly nodded and stared back at him with somber blue eyes. "Good girl!" He kissed her forehead then took her by the hand and led her into C.C.'s room.

C.C. was sitting up in a chair waiting for them. When Molly saw her, she joyfully called, "Mommy! Mommy!" and ran toward her. Then, she remembered her father's warning and stopped short before she reached C.C. She looked at her mother with trepidation.

C.C. leaned down with outstretched arms. "Molly, come here, sweetheart! It's okay!"

Molly ran to her mother, and C.C. threw her arms around her daughter. Niles picked Molly up and put her on C.C.'s lap. C.C. hugged her tightly to her chest.

"Gwently, Mommy, Gwently!" Molly cautioned.

"Oh, Molly! I've missed you so much! Look how big you've gotten! What have you been doing?"

"Playin' with Jonah and Eve and Chester."

"How is Chester?"

"Fine," the girl answered as she twisted the belt of C.C.'s silk robe around her arm.

C.C. couldn't refrain from showering Molly with hugs and kisses. The normally rambunctious toddler sat sedately in her mother's lap. She had missed her affections as much as C.C. had missed giving them to her.

"I have something for you." C.C. reached down into the box by her chair and pulled out the stuffed unicorn. "Do you know who this is?"

"Wings!" Molly squealed with glee.

"That's exactly right! Do you remember the story about how Molly and Mark's grandmother had to go so very far away from them?"

"Gwandma went to live on a cloud."

"Yes, remember how Molly and Mark would tell Wings how much they loved and missed their grandmother, and then, Wings would fly away to see their grandmother and tell her what the kids said?"

"Yeah. They loved Gwandma."

"Now, you have your very own unicorn. If we are ever apart and you are scared or lonely for me, you can tell the unicorn how you feel, and it will tell me. You can give it a hug, and the unicorn will give you a hug from me in return. How about that?"

Molly nodded solemnly. Her little brain did not exactly understand what her mother was talking about, but she knew it was important. She put her arms around C.C.'s neck. "I love you, Mommy."

C.C. started to cry. She hugged Molly tightly and looked over the top of her head at Niles who had been unobtrusively watching them. He was struggling to control his own tears. "Take her, Niles."

Niles picked her up, and Molly started to cry for her mother.

"Go on, sweetheart. Go with Daddy."

Niles left the room and sent Fran in. Fran embraced C.C. "Oh, sweetie, don't cry. Everything's gonna be all right."

C.C. fought to compose herself. "I want to thank you, Fran. You and Maxwell have been a Godsend. I don't know what we would have done the past few months without you two."

Fran shrugged. "It's no big deal. We're happy to help with her."

"Yes, it is a big deal. You don't know what a comfort it has been to know that Molly is safe and loved while Niles and I can't be with her. Thank you so much."

"I love her like my own."

"I know. That's why I have to ask one more thing. I need you to promise me that if I don't make it, you will help Niles raise Molly."

Fran managed a bright, confident smile. "It isn't going to be necessary. You're going to be home before you know it."

"Please, Fran. I need your word. Niles is a terrific father. Hell, he's even a better mother than I am most of the time, but Molly will need a woman sometimes. There are some things only a female can understand. I can't stand to think of my daughter growing up confused and alone without a woman who loves her. I grew up like that. My harpy mother left me to figure things out on my own. I can't have Molly grow up that way."

"I promise on one condition."

"What?" C.C. asked, confused that her good friend was making demands at a time like this.

"You promise me the same thing. I'll promise to take care of Molly if you promise to take care of Jonah and Eve if anything happens to me. I know you are going to be fine, but who knows? Next week, I may get hit by a bus."

C.C. squeezed Fran's hands. "I promise."

"I promise, too," Fran whispered, and C.C. started to cry again. "Shh. Shh." She dabbed at C.C.'s tears with a tissue and tucked her hair behind her ears. "You're going to make your eyes red and puffy. That's not the best look to have for all these gorgeous doctors around here." Fran hugged C.C. again. "I'll go get Niles. Love you."

C.C. smiled through her tears. "I love you."

After a few minutes, Niles returned to C.C.'s room. "Fran is taking Molly home."

C.C. held out her hand to him. "Niles, come sit beside me. I've had mushy scenes with Molly and Fran. Now, it's your turn…In case I haven't told you lately, I love you, Butler Boy."

"I love you, too."

"Niles, I want to thank you for all you've done for me. You loved me when I thought I was completely unlovable. You saved me from a hell of loneliness, self-hatred, and alcohol. Funny thing is, until you, I didn't even know I needed saving. You transformed my life, and I can never repay you. If I die..."

Niles interrupted her, "C.C., you are not..."

She placed a finger over his lips to silence him. "If I don't make it through this, I want you to know how much you mean to me and how much I appreciate you standing by my side during this ordeal. I have all the love in the world for you, Niles."

"C.C., I have no doubt that you are going to pass through this with flying colors. You are the strongest person I have ever known. But you should know, I'm the one with the transformed life. Before you, I spent my life living vicariously through Maxwell. I made my life's work running his house and caring for his children. I was always on the outside looking in. Then you came along, and I realized it wasn't enough for me to sit on the sidelines. I wanted to be in the game. When you went to work for Max, you blew into my life like a hurricane. You were and still are beautiful, sexy, smart, and fearless. You have never been afraid to grab a tiger by its tail. From the first moment I laid eyes on you, I wanted you, but I never dreamed I could ever have you. I think that's why I instigated such a combative relationship with you. I wanted to torture you the way you were torturing me. Then, somehow a wondrous miracle occurred and you fell in love with me. It was like the pieces of a puzzle finally fitting together. You became my family and my life. I can't distinguish where I end and you begin anymore. Promise me you won't ever leave me. I can't live without you, C.C." By the time Niles finished his little speech, they were sobbing in each other's arms.

"I promise, Niles." C.C. whispered into his neck and prayed it was a promise she could keep.

TNTNTNTNTNTN

Niles stood in the cemetery in the pouring rain, juggling an umbrella and a fussy Molly in his arms. A storm was blowing up. The wind was whipping the umbrella and the distant rolling thunder and lightning were frightening Molly. Fran stood beside him quietly trying to calm the girl. Niles was aching for his wife and for what might have been, and he wanted so much for this difficult day with its pain and remorse to be over. The minister finally finished the funeral service, and due to the rain and the approaching storm, the mourners quickly dispersed to their cars.

"Let us take Molly home," Maxwell offered. "I'm sure you need to spend a little time with the Babcocks."

Niles handed Molly to him and walked over to where the Babcock family was gathered. The high-strung Noel was beside himself with Stuart vainly trying to console him. Niles stepped up behind his wife and circled an arm around her waist. She leaned back into his embrace.

C.C. nodded toward her brother. "Poor Noel. He was a lot closer to Mother than the rest of us." A bit wistfully she added, "He was her favorite."

D.D. picked her way through the gathering mud puddles in spectacular, but inappropriate given the weather, black heels. She clasped Niles' hand, then, she turned to C.C. "By the way, C.C., you are in charge of sorting out Mother's estate."

"Why do I have to do it?" she groused.

"Because Noel is in no shape to handle it."

"What's your excuse?"

"I saved your life, baby sister," D.D. smugly reminded her. "Doesn't tradition say that makes you my slave for life?" The sisters grinned at each other.

"I suppose contending with Mother's estate is a small price to pay for the rest of my life."

"Besides, you're a lot better at business than I am. But remember, I'm going to have my attorney go over everything you do so don't try to screw me over."

Everyone was anxious to get out of the rain, and the siblings and Stuart said their goodbyes and parted in different directions. Before they left, Niles and C.C. paused at B.B.'s open grave.

"How do you feel?" Niles asked.

C.C. sighed wearily. "I don't know whether to sing 'Ding Dong the Witch Is Dead' or cry for my mommy."

"I know. During the service, I kept thinking about what might have been. As long as B.B. was alive, there was still a chance she might become a human being. Eventually, she may have turned into a real mother to you and a grandmother to Molly. With my own mother gone…"

C.C. snorted, "B.B. Babcock as June Cleaver? Yeah, right. You're too tenderhearted, Niles. Besides, Molly has a terrific grandmother in Sylvia, and we both have you."

Niles kissed her cheek. He wondered if the wetness he felt there was rain drops or tear drops. "Are you ready to go home? I want to get you out of these wet clothes."

The rosy cheeked picture of health, C.C. gave him a dazzling smile. "If I know you, you just want to get me out of my clothes, period."

"You know me too well, baby. You know me too well."

The End

My grandfather actually had aplastic anemia 25 or so years ago. Much of this story is loosely based on what happened to him. Unfortunately, he didn't make it. At the time, a transplant wasn't an option for someone his age. I'm not sure about now.