Tick tick tick tick tick…

Zoe Murphy's alarm clock rang to the sound of chirping crickets. It annoyed the hell out of her, but was the only thing that could actually wake her up. Between constantly searching Connor's room and planning daring feats of incredible espionage and doing mundane things like homework, she had a busy life.

Zoe always woke up before Connor. It was her job to get his backpack ready and make her breakfast and make sure the car they used to get to school was full enough on gas and that Connor's homework was done and all his books were ready. So she really couldn't afford to be late.

Zoe got up silently just as she had always done. She had to be as quiet as possible (or AQAP) because Cynthia (Zoe's mother) didn't want anyone waking Connor up. Connor had to get his beauty sleep, Cynthia said.

And what about me? Zoe wanted to ask. What about me, mom? Just because Connor's screwed up doesn't mean I have to be, right?

Zoe hated Connor and felt she had every right to. It was his fault she'd never been on a date, his fault she'd never had time for more than one extracurricular, his fault she'd never been allowed to wake up after seven-fifteen in the morning on a weekday even though school was a two-minute drive or ten-minute walk and didn't start till 8:30. And if Connor hadn't done his homework, Zoe was expected to finish it for him or let him copy hers. Oh! And if Connor got busted for copying her work, while it was Connor who got in trouble at school, Larry (her dad) and Cynthia would yell at her as if it were somehow her fault that Connor didn't do his work.

This morning was no different. The gas was low so Zoe drove to the gas station and bought some Pringles and gas. Then she saw he'd done his English homework but not his math or chemistry homework, and even though Connor was a senior and doing calculus and Zoe was a junior (and in the advanced math group, admittingly) she was expected to get him nothing less than straight A's. Then she fudged up some chemistry experiment and read Connor's pages and made perfect notes for him to finish her morning routine. Then she made herself some cereal and was just about to pour milk in when she found the carton was empty. Connor had finished the milk again.

I hate my life, Zoe thought, but she was resigned to the fact that it would always be like this. That when Connor broke a vase in his room and needed it to be cleaned up, he got to sleep in Zoe's room and Zoe had to sleep on the couch. There wasn't anything she could do about it and so why beat yourself up over something you have no control over? Everything in her life was open to Connor. It would always be this way and she'd never have something just for herself.

At least I have jazz band, she thought, but she knew it wasn't the same as a family who cared about her or a boyfriend or a life.

All she could do was wait.

The first day of school was at first a dream come true and then a nightmare. Zoe expected it this year, so it wasn't as bad, but it still sucked. People actually hung out with her for a couple minutes until the remembered The Freak was her brother. Spoiler alert: The Freak was Connor.

Suddenly a noise broke the quiet murmurs in the hall. She saw the two main guys: Connor and a boy she knew named Jared.

A quiet, awkward boy called Evan Hansen laughed nervously and Connor was screaming at him.

"YOU THINK I'M A FREAK?" Connor yelled.

"No," Evan groveled.

"YOU'RE THE FUCKING FREAK!" Connor screamed. And with that he shoved Evan, hard.

Zoe couldn't believe her eyes. Connor had just shoved a helpless, awkward, socially anxious teen who Zoe was pretty sure had a crush on her.

So when Connor stormed off, Zoe crouched down next to Evan.

"Hi," she said. "I'm sorry about my brother, he's a psychopath. Evan, right?"

The boy screwed up his face. "Evan?"

Zoe blinked. "That's your name, right?" Oh God, she hoped it was Evan. If she got his name wrong it would be so embarrassing, and Zoe was already embarrassed enough in front of this kid because of Connor. And what if he told the kids in jazz band? They were the only people besides her best friend Maia who still thought half way decently of her.

Jazz band wasn't a very popular club, because not many people still liked jazz. Like in that movie La La Land. It was her favorite. She loved every part of it. Sebastian and his jazz, the way it doesn't end with "true love" and it shows that good relationships can still end and exes can be friends. And she loved the music. Her favorite two songs were "A Lovely Night" and "Audition (The Fools Who Dream)". Ben Pasek and Justin Paul, the songwriting duo, she loved them. They were amazing.

So when Maybe-Maybe-Not-Evan responded she was relieved. "Yeah it's Evan. Sorry."

Zoe raised her eyebrows questioningly. "Why are you sorry?"

"Well, you said my name and I repeated it and it's so annoying when people do that and I'm doing it again I'm so sorry," Evan stumbled.

Zoe laughed a little bit. Not at Evan, but with Evan. "You're weird," she said fondly.

"I know. I'm sorry."

Zoe grinned. "Ok, bye…"

"You don't want to sign my—"

"What?"

"What? I didn't say anything. You were saying something."

Zoe frowned. "No, I said bye and you said…"

"No. Me? No. No way. Jose."

Zoe blinked. "Um…okay. Jose."

And she turned and power-walked away.