This is how it ends; this how it begins.
A note book falls out of the sky.
In the end it takes seeing a book falling from the sky from the corner of his eye one tedious school day to believe that it wasn't a dream.
Which reality was the dream he hadn't fully known. It was like remembering something and not being sure if it happened or if was just a dream even though it felt so real.
He had thought the red eyes, rotten apples (A Shinigami apple he remembers but why would death gods love apples much less have apples?) tossed for a story, the limp,
dropping his notebook just like the one that he (Light, Kira, he reminded himself) saw fell out of the sky were just a dream. Because those things (memories) couldn't be real.
This life of boredom, loneliness, and a sense a justice that anchored him are real. It has to be because he can bleed, feel pain, and can die unlike the other life he dreamed of where he can't die by any baka
human or their bullets because he is Kir- no, a god of death.
This reality where his mother asks for test scores instead of how he was, an absent father (who isn't dead) because the world is too rotten, a sister who is happy and has problems with math instead of ptsd because something had happened to her was real.
It isn't until his fingers brush against the familiar black book with the English words of 'Death Note' on it that Light knows the truth;
And someone is screaming as if they're dying and Light...well he's died twice.
It's too much, he realizes as he clutches his head that can't have hundreds of years worth of memories shoved into his mind.
There are tears and a man- L, his enemy, his friend, his lover falling from his chair because in the end one of them would be the death of the other and Light had chosen himself because the world needed Kira. The rotten of this earth needed to be purged from this new world and Light doesn't know why but it hurts more than being shot and oh- L was there in end. He had watched over him as he died for the first time.
It takes what seems like another life time for the screaming to stop and to realize it was him screaming all a long. Somehow he manages to stumble his way home.
His clothes are uncomfortable. His throat is sore from screaming and if he was check, yes, his eyes were still red from tears. Light doesn't do anything to solve these problems. Instead he curls into himself on his bed and stares at the bag where the Death Note is hidden.
Two lifetimes ago Light had crawled into this very bed and had wrapped the covers around him as tight as he could. His past self had wondered if he had the guts to do it and if he lose his mind. Light had the guts. Light had lost of his mind and arrogance had played a roll in his downfall (oh how he had laughed). He had conquered L at the cost of losing the man that he could have loved in another life time
Could he do that again?
Yes he could, Light realized. He wasn't though.
He was going to do it better. (And guess what? This was another life.)
In his second life he had dropped his notebook to those unwanted but none the less needed heirs. (Because they may inherit what is his and what he was but they will never be his successors. No one will ever succeed Kira much less be what he was once.)
They however would never be Kira like Nate would never be L despite their odd mannerisms and eyes that could see beyond the images presented to them. He doesn't remember their names because in the end they are she, he, he, she, he, she, they, and she to him.
They are simply unwitting pawns in the end. Sometimes their intelligence could make them a queen in the own right but in the end even the most powerful piece can become just another pawn that will be sacrificed while the King will survive; Kira will always survive no matter how many fallen pawns are beneath his feet.
He turns on the tv where News 6 informs the public of a hostage situation and he simply writes down Kuroub Otoharada's name like he has done so many or to be more accurate: like he will do so many. This time he doesn't count the seconds in morbid anticipation and curiosity.
Kuroub's death is reported by a a shocked and relieved reporter. Light doesn't smile even as he sees the hostages walk out of alive and smiling because they're alive.
The next five days Light diligently writes the names of the criminals he learns through hacking his father's computer. He doesn't remember if they are the same criminals he killed before Ryuk show up in the original time.
He can't find it in himself to care, Light realized as he's sprawled out on the living room couch which makes Sayu giggle at him instead of focusing on her drama that Hideki Ryuga is starring in.
It makes his eyebrows knit in confusion because he knows that Sayu of this time has a crush on the actor of the screen just like he knows one day she will marry Matsuda.
"Why are you giggling at me?" He finally breaks down and asks.
"Because your not being perfect for once," and Sayu then grins at him.
A frown makes itself on Light's face. She has no idea how flawed he can be because until the last few days Light has always wore the mask of being perfect.
Light isn't perfect. Kira isn't God and he never was. And even God wasn't perfect.
Light finally understands this because he was a god of death in his previous life. That, however, doesn't mean he was going to stop being Kira. It was in fact another reason to be Kira.
"I'm not afraid of God. I am afraid of Man," Sayu had once (and maybe she now never will) sang along to some American pop song.
God had abandoned his creations made from his image. Kira would not and with that Light focuses on the drama playing before him. He's going to enjoy this peace even if it includes bad dramas and a Hideki Ryuga that doesn't resemble a panda.
"You've taken quite a liking to it."
This time Light doesn't fall of his chair when Ryuk finally arrives. Instead he glares and if looks could kill a Shinigami Ryuk would be dead. Unfortunately not- childish (Because Ryuk had killed him in the end not Matsuda which is why he never wrote his brother in law's name in his Death Note.) glares can't kill a Shinigami.
How unfortunate, Light thinks viciously.
"How interesting," Ryuk muses out loud. "You didn't even act surprised. I am the Shinigami, Ryuk. That used to be my notebook."
Liar; Light doesn't say that. Because that would be interesting to Ryuk. Instead he smiles and oh Light doesn't even need to see his reflection to see how wrong and ugly it is. His smile probably could be compared to a stained glass Church window that's been broken before being glued back together yet you can still see the cracks. (Which, now that Light is thinking about it, is exactly how Light feels.)
"Tell me Ryuk, what happens to the human who uses the Death Note?" Light - Kira - is not God but he can be somewhat forgiving. But this is the last chance for the Shinigami before him because in the end Light is childish.
"When it's your time to die, it will fall on me to write your name in my Death Note. Be warned, any human who's used a Death Note can neither go to heaven nor hell for eternity. That's all." Ryuk laughs, it's a grating thing to endure but Light has endured far worse. "Now you have something to look forward to after you die."
There was a soft knock on his door and Light ignores the Shinigami. As if he can't see the one ear pierced death god when he's in fact the only one who can.
"What is it?" Light asks his mother, who's already starting to get dark circles under her eyes from staying up until Dad gets home, as soon as he opens the door.
"I thought you'd like some apples the neighbors brought them over for us. Why on earth is it so dark in your room? You'll ruin your eyesight."
"I'm going to bed soon," Light reassures his mother with a soft smile. "Thank you for these. Mom try to rest some," he adds before giving her another smile that doesn't reach his eyes but she doesn't notice.
Light closes the door behind him with a soft click and already Ryuk is eyeing the apples. Ryuk's addiction makes Light roll his eyes before he takes a apple and starts to eat it with such dramatics it rivals the potato chips. He's actually full from dinner but children aren't forgiving and nor was Light.
The apples of this world do indeed taste better than the rotten, decaying ones in the realm of the Shinigami.
Lind. L Tailor makes his appearance and accusations. Light doesn't kill him (yet) on the tv.
Instead he smiles at his enemy, friend, and lover's dramatics that cover his cunningness that makes Light smile genuinely for the first time since he touched the Death Note and screamed because he remembered.
"Let's play a game old friend," he says even though Lawliet can't hear him. He outright and childishly ignores Ryuk's questions of who is he talking to.
Lind. L Tailor dies one in the morning. The video of him telling Kira he is evil has played in all eight regions of Japan by then.
In his prison cell there are words written in his blood: L, did you know it's another life?
A/N: Round and round like a horse on a carousel, we go, will I catch up to love?
I got to stop writing time travel stories and one-shots. I own nothing by the way.