Dedication: Annie, as an apology for every silent pain you suffer through, and for chapter 35 in VK. I love you. (Oh, and I did NOT get this idea from Ren's fic. I got it after you asked me to find you Ed/Winry icons.)
Disclaimer: Yeah, I own NOTHING. However, if anyone wants to give me a belated Ed plushie for Christmas, then that's about as far as I'll go in owning anything related to FMA.
He doesn't know when it happened, when Winry went through the transition of this little girl with short blond hair and a smile sweeter than any he could imagine to this woman who suddenly had curves.
And late at night, when he is staring up at the ceiling and unable to sleep, he hates himself a little bit for this, because most friends would know when this happened, but not them, because their presence in Winry's life is fleeting. Like smoke. They are there one moment, but then they slip through her fingers and are gone again.
Every time they leave, Ed feels a little bit more and more guilty, because he wants to save Al, needs to save him, but he also know what their leaving does to Winry, the way she worries about them constantly. The way she looses sleep over it. The way she, being the stubborn female she is, will never admit it.
Still, though, she understands, and always chastises them to be careful, adding a nice thunk to Ed's skull in order to show him that she is serious about it.
He wants to be there all the time for Winry, and it rips at him, the way he wants to promise that they'll be careful, but he can't, because they are empty promises. Hollow. Like Winry's cerulean eyes when she watches their backs, walking away from her yet again.
Ed hates whenever it rains; he usually avoids looking out the window, because the vast blueness of the sky as it rains remind Ed of Winry's eyes when she's crying; most times, when tears pour from those baby-blue irises, it's his fault.
Still, though, he can never stay away from Winry, and Resembool, because both are part of his childhood, and no one can ever completely let go of their past.
And Winry will throw her wrench at his head, and yell about him wrecking his automail yet again, and they will fight, and Al will shake his head and mutter, "Oh, Brother," and then everything will be normal again.
Ed would never admit it, but most of the time, he looks forward to returning to Resembool. It was always warm, in itself a paradise, and even merely lying beneath the trees, like Ed was doing right now, was quite nice.
"Ed! What are you doing?!" Winry yelled, stomping over to where the golden-eyed boy was laying. She stopped two feet from him, patting her wrench in the palm of her hand with an angry expression on her face.
"Relaxing," was Ed's answer, without opening his eyes, so his missed the tick forming in Winry's jaw.
"I HAVE TO FIX YOUR AUTOMAIL, IDIOT!" She screamed, and Ed sighed, looking up at her. He didn't say anything, merely looked at her, and Winry's furious expression melted into a worried one. "Ed?" She asked softly.
Ed shook himself out of his stupor and shook his head quickly. "Nothing."
Winry stared at him seriously, then plopped down beside him. Ed raised an eyebrow. "Winry, what are you doing?"
"There's something bothering you, so I'm going to sit here until you tell me." She insisted.
Blue locked with gold, and Ed could tell by the corners of her mouth how worried Winry was; she just wasn't vocalizing it. He felt something twist in his gut, because he always made her worry about him, and he was so undeserving.
"Aren't you mad at me?" He whispers, and Winry looks startled.
"Mad? Why?" Then, she is suspicious. "Edward Elric, what did you do?"
His lip quirk upwards. "I didn't do anything. Or, at least, I have, and I'll do it again, but I haven't done it yet…" Winry watches as he puts a hand over his eyes.
"Ed? I…don't understand."
He sighs and removes the hand. "Al and I…we're always leaving you. The sight of us you're most familiar of us is our backs. It's not good for you, Winry." I'm not good for you.
Winry, to his surprise, laughs. "Oh, Ed," she sighs, "I care about you guys. And you're wrong; the sight that I'm most familiar with are your hearts."
Ed turns his head towards her, an eyebrow raised. Winry can read the anguish in his eyes and wants it to go away, because Ed, for the most part, is a happy person, and his worry is meaningless, because no matter what, she'll still worry about her boys.
"We're never really here for you, Win. One minute we're here, and then we're gone. How can you stand it? How can you stand me?"
"Ed," Winry murmurs, and her eyes are fixed on his face, searching it, before she smiles, albeit sadly. "Everything you do, it is for the greater good. It is to save the people, to save your brother. How can I possibly be angry with you? Yes, it annoys me the way you destroy your automail, but you do so for a good cause."
Then, she lays next to him, and puts her head on his shoulder. "So shut up and accept it." She tells him, and he can feel her smiling into his shoulder. Ed sighs, as though this comfort from Winry was such a heavy weight on him, (when, in truth, he feels lighter than air, now) and closes his eyes, the wind gently stirring the trees, whistling through the leaves softly, almost like a lullaby.
From atop the hill, Al gazes down at his brother and Winry and smiles.
A/N-- Yeah, I know, I switched tenses, but that's intentional. I'm not quite happy with this, because of how OOC it is, but it's my first try at ANYTHING FMA (Kits, I swear to God, I'll continue working on your Envy/Winry next) and the stupid plot bunny wouldn't leave me alone. So, anyway, thoughts?