Dexter's Laboratory is copyright (C)1996 by
Hanna-Barbera Productions and Cartoon Network.
Sailor Moon is the property of Takeuchi Naoko and some other folks
such as D.I.C. and Cloverway.
http://www.geocities.com/jlfenton65/
jlfenton65@yahoo.com
I don't own Dexter's Laboratory, I didn't make the characters, and I'm not trying to make money on this, so please don't sue me. Ditto for Sailor Moon.
Many thanks to my pre-reader, Ben Oliver.
Author's Notes: This is a typical Dexter's Lab style parody. Do not email me saying I have the names or uniforms wrong or any such nonsense. This isn't supposed to be accurate. Think of the episode "Mock 5" for an idea of what I am writing here. That episode is my favorite incidentally.
Dee Dee sat in front of the TV as she did each afternoon following school. Her attention was focused solely on the cartoon as she hugged her legs, staring intently at the unfolding drama.
Sailor Moon approached the new Sailor Scout with long blond hair. "Are you the princess?"
Dee Dee's eye grew to the size of saucers as she leaned forward and pressed her head against the picture tube.
Sailor Venus smiled and shook her head. "No, I'm just a Scout like you, here to protect the princess."
Dee Dee sprang into the air, arms out wide as she let out a shriek, "aaaaaaaaAAAAAHHHHHHHhhhhhhh!!!!!" She raced up the stairs to Dexter's room. The door fell off its hinges as she slammed through it. She made a quick pirouette and leapt onto the circular rug, which dropped her into a tube serving as one of the various entrances to the lab.
Dexter stared intently into the ocular image enhancer. The adjustments he was making to the isolinear optic processor chip were very delicate. His tense mood was evident as he talked to himself, "Gently... this is very delicate and fragile... just one more modification..."
Dee Dee popped up over his shoulder. "Oh! Dexter, Dexter! I wish - maybe you - I'll just die if you can't!"
Dexter jumped a foot as the chip snapped in half. Dexter gave the destroyed circuit a horrified look. "My isolinear optical processor chip! It is ruined!!" He growled at his ditsy sister. "Just what are you doing in my laboratory, woman?!"
Dee Dee grabbed him with one arm, holding him in a bear hug. She gestured expansively with the other. "You have to make me a Moon Princess!! I want to fight for Love! And Justice! Oh!! You just gotta..."
Dexter pried himself loose from her grasp. "I have no time for this nonsense!" He waved his hands in a shoo-ing gesture. "Go play somewhere else. I have much work to accomplish in the time remaining before we consume the evening repast Mom so lovingly prepares."
Dee Dee rolled her eyes and reached over work counter. She nudged a test tube until it slipped off the counter and shattered on the floor.
"Hey! Hey! What do you think you are doing?!" Dexter waved his fist in the air, trying to assume a commanding appearance. It would have worked better if he were more than two feet tall.
Dee Dee looked away, assuming an air of innocence. "Noooooothing!" She nudged another test tube, with similar results.
Dexter grabbed a handful of his hair. "Stop! You are ruining my experiment!"
Dee Dee leapt away with a titter. Equipment started to overload and explode as she randomly pressed buttons on the control panels. Before the smoke from one disaster had cleared, she was off to create another.
Dexter watched in mounting horror. "No! Do not press that! Ahhhh!!! Not my synchotronic aural reverberator!" He had to stop this before his whole lab was destroyed! "STOP!!!!"
Dee Dee stopped in mid-stride. "Yeeessss Dexter?"
Dexter put a hand over his face. "I cannot believe I am actually doing this." He addressed his sister, "If I make you a stupid Moon Princess, will get out of my laboratory and leave me in peace?"
Dee Dee gathered Dexter up and held him at arms length off the ground. "Of course! Then I'd be out fighting the Evil Forces of the Negaverse!" She swung him around a few times.
Dexter swatted at her hands in a futile effort to disengage them. "Okay, okay! Put me down!"
Dee Dee promptly released him. Unfortunately, she forgot to stop swinging him around first. Dexter flew off to the side before a conveniently placed parts bin halted his progress.
Brushing himself off, Dexter stomped over to the main computer console, muttering under his breath. He cleared his voice. "Computer. Correlate all information on the subject: Moon Princess."
The computer churned through countless files as it examined every episode of the cartoon. Secondary displays showed diagrams of various Sailor Scouts and transformation devices. "Dexter, all information on the subject 'Moon Princess' has been analyzed." The primary display resolved into a blank figure in a leotard and short skirt, with two hair balls and long tails dangling. It magnified the center of the chest and highlighted the brooch. "The Moon Princess is the possessor of the Silver Imperium Crystal."
Dexter adjusted his glasses absently. "Very good, Computer. Now, please fabricate this Silver Imperium Crystal with the matter transduction unit."
A brilliant white light sprang into being in the center of a large chamber. Dee Dee watched in mounting anticipation as an object slowly resolved itself inside the light. As it came more clearly into view, Dee Dee's smile grew wider. The light faded, leaving a brooch with a large crystal embedded in it.
Dee Dee could no longer hold back. "aaaaaAAAAAAHHHHHHHHhhhhhh!!!" She snatched the crystal from Dexter as he removed it from the chamber, then caught him in a stranglehold. "Oh!!! Thank you, Dexter! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you..."
Dexter was nearly purple before Dee Dee finally released him. He sat insensate as he tried to recover from the hug.
Dee Dee gritted her teeth, her tongue sticking out the corner of her mouth as she pinned the brooch to the top of her ballet outfit. She placed one hand over the brooch and raised the other high. "MOON! PRISM! POWER!!!"
Dee Dee slowly lifted off the ground as a bright light surrounded her. Her leotard changed to white, while the tutu formed into pleats. Pink bows grew at the back of the outfit and from around the brooch. A pink choker with a gold crescent moon formed around her neck, and a gold tiara with a red gem formed around her forehead. White, elbow-length gloves sprang into being. Her twin, up-swept ponytails undid themselves, then reformed into hair balls with trailing tails. Red gems appeared in each of the balls.
Dexter was distracted from the transformation sequence by the corny music the computer was playing. "Computer! What is that infernal racket emanating from the audio waveform replicators?!"
The computer sounded almost apologetic. "I'm sorry, Dexter. File analysis indicated that the Sailor Scout Transformation Sequence be accompanied by the appropriate background music."
The light faded as Dee Dee slowly floated back down and assumed the Passe Releve position. She then took a pose straight from the cartoon. "Beware, evil-doers! I am the champion of Love and Justice, Sailor-D! In the name of the Moon, I will punish you!"
Dexter slapped a hand over his face as he groaned, "The lengths to which I go for a little peace and quiet..." He stomped over to the ludicrously, er, heroically posed girl and pushed her towards the exit. "Yeah, yeah! Go fight for Love and Justice somewhere else!"
Dee Dee swiveled her head back and forth. "Wait! I sense Evil from the Negaverse!"
Dexter kept pushing, but was no longer making any headway. "You are obviously mistaken. My laboratory is equipped with the most modern and advanced sensing and early detection devices. It is patently impossible that anyone could enter without my express approval." He conveniently ignored the fact that Dee Dee had nearly free access to the lab at all hours.
A small explosion of smoke occurred in the lab. As the smoke cleared, Dexter's arch-nemesis Mandark could be discerned.
He raised his arms; one hand assumed a claw-like form as the other clutched a gun of some kind. "HA, HA HA! HA, HA HA, HA HA! With my new Matter Transmogrifier Gun, I can transform ordinary objects into monsters! They'll drain all the power from Dexter's Lab to power my new secret weapon to take over the world! HA, HA HA! HA, HA HA, HA HA!"
Mandark pointed the gun at a near-by mousebot. One zap transformed the small, rodent-like robot into a large, deformed monster. It roared and stuck a hand toward a nearby bank of machinery. A spark of electricity quickly turned to large bolts as the energy was stripped from the rapidly melting devices.
Dexter slapped his hands to either side of his face in horror. "AH!! My mousebot!" He shook a fist at Mandark. "Mandark! You fiend!"
Dee Dee sucked in her breath. "The Man-Dark General from the Negaverse!" She reassumed her pose. "Hold, evil-doer! No one destroys Dexter's Lab but me! In the name of the Moon, I will punish you!"
Mandark noticed Dee Dee. His knees grew weak and hearts formed in his eyes. "Sailor Deeeeeeee!!!" He shook his head to clear his thoughts. "So, Sailor-D! You may be Champion of Love and Justice, but you are no match for the power of - MANDARK! Master of Evil and Tyranny! You will not halt my reign of terror! Get her!"
The monster moved to attack, shooting bolts of lightning at the girl.
Dee Dee did a Penche Arabesque as a few bolts passed harmlessly by. From there, she leapt into a Grand Jete as more bolts passed underneath.
Mandark looked on in horror. "No, you fool! Don't hurt her! Just get her!" The hearts were back in his eyes. "Sailor Deeeeee!"
The monster paused at these conflicting orders, unsure how to accomplish them. It uttered a low grunting noise as it scratched its metal head in confusion.
Dee Dee seized the opportunity. She took the tiara from her forehead and spun around. "MOON! TIARA! ACTION!" She released the glowing, rapidly spinning tiara. It shot straight for the monster, giving a metallic clank as it bounced off.
The monster patted itself down, but found no damage.
Dee Dee bit her tongue, thinking as she tapped her chin. "Hmm... AH!" She grabbed Dexter by the back of his lab coat. "MOON! BOUNCER! ACTION!" She heaved her little brother at the monster. Smoke filled the lab as it exploded violently. The smoke cleared to reveal a tattered and blackened Dexter sitting amidst the pieces of his robot.
He sniffled sadly, "My mousebot!"
Mandark drew his cloak around him. "You have won this time, Sailor-D! But I shall return, and then the world shall be mine! Ha, Ha Ha! Ha, Ha Ha, Ha Ha!" He leapt into the air, disappearing at the apex of his leap.
Dee Dee bit her tongue, thinking again. "I need to find the other Scouts!"
That's it for chapter 1; see you next time as Sailor-D sets out to find the other Scouts and save the world from the Man-Dark General!