Disclaimer: I don't own either the song "Grandma got Run Over by a Reindeer" or Harry Potter.
To be read to the tune of "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer"
Voldemort Got Run Over By A Thestral
Voldemort got run over by a Thestral
Apparating from the Department of Mysteries.
You can say there's no such thing as Thestrals,
But as for me and Sirius, we believe.
Voldie'd been drinkin' too much butterbeer,
And then he tried to possess the Potter boy.
But he got grossed-out by Harry's thoughts:
Hermione in a whipped cream bikini, trying to remember the capital of Illinois.
When they found Voldie the next mornin',
At the scene of the attack.
They saw hoof prints on his forehead,
And incriminatin' bite marks on his back.
Voldemort got run over by a Thestral,
Apparating from the Department of Mysteries.
You can say there's no such thing as Thestrals,
But as for me and Sirius, we believe.
Now were all so proud of that Thestral,
But he hasn't been feeling so well.
Poor thing's been sick and puking,
Hoping that his last dinner likes it in Hell.
Yay! Voldemort is really dead
And all his Death Eaters are dressed in black.
Wormtail, Malfoy, Avery and Ted :
Tried to steal Voldie's fillings but couldn't get past his serious case of bacterial plaque.
Voldemort got run over by a Thestral,
Apparating from the Department of Mysteries.
You can say there's no such thing as Thestrals,
But as for me and Sirius, we believe.
Hogwarts is celebrating
Ron is contemplating selling his owl Pig.
Some Gryffindors are spreading rumors, saying:
Did anyone else know about Voldemort's green and silver wig?
I hope you've realized the moral to this song.
Thestrals are there for more than just scaring the crap out of little kids
And they should never give an Apparating license,
To a bald Michael Jackson look-alike who plays with his wand.
Voldemort got run over by a Thestral,
Apparating from the Department of Mysteries.
You can say there's no such thing as Thestrals,
But there's a sick one out there who thought Voldie was a piece of trash.