Author's Note:

Hey, guys! This is my first Victorious Fanfic, so please be nice. I really wanted to write one, and here it is! It's possibly the longest one-shot ever, but I really didn't know where to cut it off. I'm hopefully not going to make one-shots longer than this (famous last words haha). But for the purpose of the story, it's super long. Oh well. Enjoy it, nonetheless.

Jade's my favorite character and I wanted to expand on her a bit. Anyway, tell me what you think.

Disclaimer:

I don't own Victorious, or I Hope You Dance, or Give Your Heart A Break. The rightful owners are Dan Schneider, Lee Ann Womack, and Demi Lovato. But I do own some of the characters I made up for the story.

Jade's POV

Jade West is always dark. Jade West is always rude to people. Jade West doesn't need saving because she's strong and doesn't want anyone one's help.

You don't know how absolutely sick I am of hearing that. Why does everyone think I'm some heartless bitch? Seriously, just because I have an unhealthy obsession with scissors, wear plenty of black, and snap at people who annoy me, doesn't mean I'm heartless.

Most of my problems come from a haunting past that people don't know about. But it's not like I'd actually share my life story or whatever. Still, it hurts when people judge me like they do. They don't have a clue of what I've gone through. They don't have any idea that I need a ton of saving.

There have actually been some who have saved me. Yes, me, Jade West. They broke down my damn walls and patched up a part of my shattered heart. Somehow, they did it without my permission. If I had it my way, there wouldn't be a single person that could do that. They saw right through me, tore down my defenses, and helped me. I can never forget what they've done.


It all started when I was four. Back then, I didn't know what the word abuse meant. I didn't know that was the hell I lived through. Four-year-olds are supposed to experience happiness, love, and days playing outside while the sun shines. They aren't supposed to feel pain, loneliness, and desperation. However, that's what I had to endure every single day.

Both of my biological parents were abusive drug addicts and alcoholics. After every wild party they attended, they would stumble in the house, and drag me out of my room to beat the shit out of me. Punches to my body, slaps to my face, throwing me against walls, kicking me in the ribs. You name it, I had it done to me. Luckily, I never got raped. It didn't get that far.

But there was one day where it all changed. One day where I was saved, by a nice man who became my new dad. I remember it vividly.

Flashback:

"Mommy, no!" I cried, covering my face with my tiny hands.

"Shut up, Jade! This is for your own good!" the woman screeched back.

She pulled my hands away, and using her powerful knee, nailed me right where my hands had been. I fell to the floor, while blood poured everywhere. All I could see was a sea of red and felt pain surge through my entire face. My nose was probably broken, along with other parts. My mother started to kick my ribs, most likely crushing them to the point where they couldn't be fixed.

I wanted to scream for her to stop. Beg for her to quit hurting me. I couldn't find my voice, but even if I did, she wouldn't listen. This time it seemed like she wanted me dead.

"You are a lousy, stupid, awful, worthless daughter! I wish I had never had you!"

She stomped on my legs and my hands. I could feel myself blacking out, but then sirens rang out. That was the last sound I heard before passing out in a pool of my own blood.

When I finally woke up, I found myself in a hospital, with a man sitting beside me. My eyes adjusted to the bright light and I heard the man sigh. I tried to move around, but every part of me ached with blinding pain.

"Ow," I whimpered.

"Shhh…it's okay, Jade. You're going to be okay," the man said soothingly, coming closer to look at me.

"Who are you?" I was so scared because what if this man hurt me, too?

"I'm here to help you, Jade. Do you remember those sirens before you closed your eyes?"

I nodded, but even that movement caused soreness.

"Well, I came with those policemen that made those loud noises. They came and took your parents away. You won't ever be hurt by them again. I promise."

"But who are you? What happened to my mommy and daddy?"

I couldn't help but fire questions at him because as much as my head throbbed, I still needed to know the answers.

"Honey, my name is Henry West. I'm at the office where your dad worked. Anyway, I had to stop by your house to pick up some papers your dad was supposed to fill out. I came by, but all I heard were screams and cries. I called the police over and you were rushed to the hospital right away. The police took your parents to a place where you won't see them anymore."

"Are they going to jail?"

"Yes, most likely. I promise that they will never lay a hand on you again."

"They were bad people," I said, feeling hot tears drip from my eyes.

"Oh, Jade. I'm so sorry." The man touched my head softly.

"So what's going to happen to me?"

"You…you will probably get a new family and move into a different home." His mouth turned into a frown and his blue eyes bore a deep sadness.

"But what if I don't like my new family?" The fear was evident in my voice as more tears flowed.

He quickly used his fingers to wipe them away. "It'll be okay, Jade."

"Henry, what if they're bad people, too? I can't do this again! The only person I want to take care of me is you! You seem nice."

I really meant it. This man looked nice with blond hair and blue eyes. He had a kind smile and appeared to be in his thirties. He acted like he cared about me.

His eyes widened at my statement. "You want me to take care of you?"

"Yes. Please? I don't want to get hurt by more monsters."

Henry let out a sigh. "Let me see what I can do. If I can get the rights to take care of you, I promise you'll be safe with me."

"Thank you, Henry. Thank you for saving me from the monsters."

End Flashback

As it turned out, Henry West became my new dad. He got the court to agree with him and after many months of fighting for me, he won. I moved in with him, and ever since then he's been around.

Everything was so much better with Henry. He actually treated me like a daughter. We went to movies together, ate ice cream at the local shop, and listened to the radio while going on long drives just for the heck of it. It was totally perfect until it all changed.

Henry became successful with his job. He started making lots of money, focusing his time on that, instead of me. I became more interested in singing and acting. I'd seen many movies with him and after awhile, it fascinated me. However, my dad didn't like this new obsession of mine. He told me it was not a good idea because math and science were more important. The arts were not going to get me anywhere in the future.

So, this is the way our relationship is now. We're distant and not at all friendly. It's really sad, when I think about it. We went through a lot together, and it all crumbled to nothing. Henry might have saved me in the beginning, but it didn't end up working out in the end.


When I was eight, someone noticed that I had real talent. It was my second grade music teacher, Mrs. Willow. She was kind, helpful, and could tell that singing was my passion.

Even though Henry had saved me from my horrible past, I still had a hard time in school. It wasn't like I was a slacker, but it was difficult to concentrate on school work with everything on my mind.

The only thing that I could wrap my head around was acting and singing. I loved whenever we put on small plays at school. I usually tried out for the bigger roles, and I got them. But music class was always my favorite. I could easily get lost in the beautiful melodies we heard and sang.

Mrs. Willow was someone I could really trust. I hung out in her room a lot because I didn't make a lot of friends. I wasn't shy, but didn't feel the need to expose myself to other people. She was always around and never asked about personal questions regarding my life. I liked that about her.

I'll never forget the day that Mrs. Willow had made me feel special for the first time ever. She made me realize that I wasn't just a victim of a terrible situation. I was actually a person to her. And a strong one, at that.

Flashback:

It was lunch time, and of course, I was spending it in her room. She had stepped out, to go grab lunch from Sub-Way or something. Since I was alone, it felt too quiet for me. I picked up the sheet music from the song we had worked on that day. I looked around, making sure no one was around me. Then, I began to sing with all of the power I had.

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder

You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger

May you never take one single breath for granted

God forbid love ever leave you empty handed

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean

Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens

Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance

I hope you dance

"Jade, that was very, very good," Mrs. Willow said in a soft voice, stepping into the room.

I quickly placed the sheet music where it originally lay. "I, um, I'm sorry," I stammered, backing away.

"It's alright. You don't have to apologize. Like I said, you did a nice job." She sat down on one of the chairs.

I blushed. "Thanks. It was too quiet in here, so I thought singing might help make some noise."

She chuckled lightly. "I agree with you. It gets silent when there aren't a bunch of kids singing and playing music. Anyway, you have a lot of talent, Jade West. I don't think I've ever heard another eight-year-old with your tone of voice before. You have enough control and sweetness that it's enchanting. Have you thought about getting singing lessons before? If you enjoy it, why not get actual classes in just singing?"

"Singing lessons? That sounds kind of fun," I admitted.

"Oh, it sure is. I've both taken and taught them before. They really help you out. Tell you what, how about I talk to your dad about it? If he says yes, we can sign you up."

I nodded enthusiastically. "That sounds great! I love singing so much!"

"I know, honey. You're amazing at it, too."

"Mrs. Willow?"

"Yes, Jade?"

Playing with the ends of my brown hair, I bit my lip. "Do you currently teach the lessons? I'd like it if you helped me. I'm not sure I'd be okay with another person."

She gazed at me, smiling. She knew about my issues with trusting people and opening up. She didn't need to ask about my past life, she just knew.

"If your dad says yes, I'll teach you. You'll be even better at singing with some lessons. I promise."

"Yay! Thank you, Mrs. Willow. Thank you for saving me with music."

End Flashback

Miraculously, my dad agreed to the lessons. He had no idea that by simply taking them, I fell even more in love with music. He thought that I was just doing it to focus on something other than my past. He didn't know that it was eventually going to become my future.

Mrs. Willow taught me everything I know today. She was so patient with me. Even when I didn't get something at first, she'd wait for it to finally click. It's because of her that I made it into Hollywood Arts. She found out about the school through a friend of hers, and worked with me day in and day out to get my audition ready. Once I got in, we celebrated together by having a pleasant dinner with just the two of us.

I still talk to her sometimes. She's still teaching music and is busy with that. I'll never forget her, though. She made me see that I am talented, despite what some people think. She saved me from living my life in total darkness. Before her, all I thought about was my past. She introduced the lightness: music. To this day, the magic of music has never left my side.


You know how I mentioned I was never good at making friends? Well, it's true. It's not like I'm opposed to the idea, but it's hard for me. I don't open up easily and to trust another person that's around my age? Forget it.

I usually spent days at school in silence, only talking when I needed to. Whenever someone wanted to speak with me, I'd flee. Even if they were nice or helpful, I'd snap at them and run. That earned me the nicknames "freak" and "loser."

Things changed when I met Caterina Valentine. As much as I tried to avoid the bubbly girl, it was no use. She insisted on being my friend. Every day, she'd come and sit next to me. She'd talk my ear off, without stopping. Of course, it annoyed me to no end. Eventually, I realized I couldn't escape Cat. So I gave up and decided to be friends with her.

Little did I know, being friends with Cat wouldn't just last until the end of sixth grade. The funny thing is, we're still friends now. And it all goes back to the day in middle school, where I finally agreed to our friendship. That memory has never left my mind. It's like it happened yesterday…

Flashback:

I sat at my normally empty lunch table with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in hand. I took a bite and then sipped my water. Suddenly, a high-pitched girly giggle sounded in my ear. I turned my head slowly, coming face-to-face with the one and only Caterina Valentine.

"What do you want?" I snapped.

She twirled a strand of light brown hair around her finger, while her big brown eyes crinkled with happiness. "I wanted to say hi," she said, smiling hugely.

"Why don't you do us both a favor and get lost! Jeez, Cat. I've told you to since the first day of school that I don't want to be friends. Can't you get that through your head?" My voice was harsh, but tinged with a slight plea. I wanted so badly for her to just stop pestering me.

A frown graced Cat's small mouth. Placing her hands on her hips, she glared at me.

"What's your problem, Jade? All I am is nice to you and you treat me like dirt! I know you don't want to be my friend, but can't you just at least try to be kind?"

I set my sandwich down, tilting my head to the side in confusion. I had never seen Cat this upset before and to be honest, it kind of freaked me out.

"Well? Are you going to just stand there and look at me? Jade, say something!" she shouted, waving her hand in front of my face.

"How come you keep coming back to me?" I asked quietly, staring off into to space to avoid Cat's gaze.

She rested her hand on my shoulder for a brief second. "Look, I know everyone tries to stay away from you. Everyone thinks you're crazy because you never want to hang out with anyone. But it doesn't bother me that you're different. That's what makes you kind of cool, actually. The reason why I come back to you is because I want you to know that you're not alone. I'm here, Jade. I really want to be friends with you. I'm tired of girls that aren't real. I'm not into fake stuff. But you have a real personality, even if you don't show it. I just wish you'd open up and let me see it."

She turned away with a sad smile. Before she could swing her leg over the bench to leave, I grabbed her arm.

"Stay, Cat," I sighed.

"Why should I?" She narrowed her eyes.

"Because I'll explain why I've been acting so mean towards you." I let go of her arm and she sat back down.

"Okay, go ahead and explain."

Running a hand through my hair, I let out another sigh. "I can't tell you everything right now. It'll take too long and school's not the right place for it anyway. Some other time, I'll give you all of the details. For now, I'll tell you what's important. I'm afraid to let people into my life, Cat. Ever since I was a kid, I've been very cautious. I trust a few people in my life because I don't want to get hurt again. That's why I don't talk to kids. It's not like I don't want friends, but it's difficult to trust them, you know? You seem different, though. The more I try to push you away, the more you keep resisting."

"Jade, I had no idea."

"I know. I'm sorry I've been acting this way. It's not easy for me to let you in. But maybe I can. If you give me enough time, maybe I can handle being friends with you." I gave her a weak smile.

Before I knew what was happening, the girl threw her arms around me. "Oh, thank you! Thank you so much!" she squealed, squeezing me.

"Let go, Cat! I need to breathe!"

"Sorry, Jade," she said sheepishly, releasing me. "You said to give you time, so that's what I'll do. I'll still talk to you, but I get that you need some space. Anyway, I know we're going to best friends!"

The little smile that developed on my face couldn't be stopped. Rolling my eyes, I responded, "Go run along and I'll catch up with you later. I'm going to finish my sandwich first."

"Kay, kay!" She hugged me again before bouncing off, with a spring in her step.

I rolled my eyes once more, chomping on my food. Secretly, I was kind of glad. Cat was my first friend, and despite our rocky start, it seemed like things would be okay.

Underneath my breath I whispered, "Thanks, Cat. Thanks for saving me by being my friend."

End Flashback

Ever since that day, I haven't escaped Cat Valentine. She's been my best friend for nearly six years. Even though she's aggravating and a little slow at times, she's still my friend. She gave me the gift of friendship, saving me from a life of loneliness. I can't help but be grateful for her persistent attitude at age eleven. It was her determination to befriend that got us where we are today.


Beck Oliver. That name alone makes me want to melt, cry, and punch things at the same time. Even though we've been apart for a long time, he still gets to me. I see him around occasionally, when he's out with his friends or when he goes for a run. His floppy brown hair and deep brown eyes continue to smash my heart to pieces. No matter how much time has passed between us, I'll always love him. He was my first love, after all.

The day I met Beck is another thing I'll remember for the rest of my life. He wasn't like any other guy I'd met before. He wasn't a nerd, or obnoxious, or totally popular and in your face. Actually, the Beck that most people know is a more confident, better looking version than the one that I first saw. When I initially met him, he was really quiet. Much like myself.

Two of my best memories have to deal with him: our first meeting and the day we decided to date. As much as I'd like to forget sometimes, I can't. They're in my mind forever, whether I want them there or not.

Flashback:

I sat quietly in the Black Box Theatre, my hand in my chin. We just finished with one of best acting classes ever and I was still mesmerized by it. I only had a couple of minutes before my next class, but I didn't care. My body wanted to stay there in the moment, relishing the feel of all of it.

A small rustle came on the stage and out popped a boy with longish brown hair. He wore a dark green plaid shirt, light wash jeans, and black sneakers. His tall frame was a big gangly, but I guess he was a cute. He looked awkwardly at me, a slightly blush on his cheeks.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't know you were in here," he said quietly, stepping off of the stage.

"It's okay," I answered, getting up from my seat. "I was just leaving."

"It's Jade, right?" he asked.

"Um, yeah. How do you know my name?" I picked up my backpack and shouldered it.

"I'm in your script writing class. I sit in the way back corner. You probably just haven't seen me."

"So that's where you're from. You look a bit familiar. I zone out a lot in that class because as much as I like writing, it's kind of boring at times. But I haven't even caught your name. What is it?"

"I'm Beck Oliver. Nice to meet you." He reached his hand out for me to shake, but being my usual guarded self, I didn't take it.

He noticed my hesitation and withdrew his hand. "Sorry," he mumbled.

I brushed off his apology. "What are you doing here, anyway? I just had a class here, so I have an excuse. What's yours?"

"Well, I love it in here. Don't tell anyone, but I usually skip one of my classes to come here. Sometimes an acting class will use the Black Box Theatre, so I slip out of whatever I'm in during that time to watch from the wings. No one ever notices."

"You watched my class?" I raised my eyebrow, crossing my arms.

"Yup. I gotta say, you did a good job up there. You sure can act."

I felt my cheeks heat up and immediately, ducked my head. I had no idea what this meant, since I had never felt this way around a guy before. Especially one I just talked to.

"Thanks. I've always been into it, ever since I was a little girl."

What was wrong with me? This was a complete stranger and here I was, talking to him like we were acquaintances or something. Why wasn't I running away like I normally did when people approached me?

"That's really cool. Acting has always been my thing, too. I'm way too shy to get up on stage, though. It kind of freaks me out. I'm good with all of the behind-the-scenes stuff."

Giving him a confused look, I tilted my head to the side. "How do you know you like acting when you haven't actually done it?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "I've seen it enough to know that I like it. Maybe someday I'll have the guts to get up there."

"Yeah, maybe. You know you can't hold back for long, right? You're at Hollywood Arts. You're bound to show your acting skills someday."

"I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. I'm just worried about what people are going to think, you know? What if they think I suck?"

I let out a small laugh. "You're freaked out about that? Dude, just show them you don't care. Go up there for you, not for them."

"Easier said than done," he grumbled.

BRINGGGGG!

"Shoot, I'm going to be late! That was the bell," I sighed.

"Well, go. I'll catch you later, Jade. Thanks for talking with me." He smiled at me, showing his pearly whites.

"See ya around, Beck," I called over my shoulder.

Before I pushed open the door, I turned back around. "Hey, Beck?"

"Yeah?" He turned towards me, after straightening out some props on stage.

"Do you…do you want to grab some coffee sometime? Just as friends, though," I clarified.

A huge grin spread across his lips. "Sure. How about Saturday?"

I nodded, and then slipped out of the room. Shaking my head, I wanted to face-palm myself. Did I really just do that? Invite a guy who I barely knew out for coffee? I must be crazy. Still, the stupid smile I had couldn't be contained. Me, Jade West, had actually talked to a guy without snapping at him or running away. Wow…what a day.

It had been a couple months since my encounter with Beck. Since then, we'd become pretty good friends. Most days, I hung out with him and Cat at our usual lunch table. Occasionally, I'd go alone with him to a place. But we stayed in the public eyes. Going to each other's houses or anything intimate was out of the question right now. Our favorite spot happened to be the local coffee shop, Coffee Crave.

On a particular Friday night, we decided to go to Coffee Crave. They usually had live entertainment on the weekends such as karaoke, music from bands, or stand up comedians. That night, it happened to karaoke. We ordered our usual drinks; mine was a caramel macchiato with a shot of espresso, while Beck's was a white chocolate mocha. Sitting down at our usual booth, we watched as a few people volunteer to sing.

We laughed under our breaths at how horrible they were. Honestly, they had no talent! Then again, they didn't go to Hollywood Arts to be probably trained like us. Still, it was hilarious to watch them flounder.

"Who's next?" the DJ asked, once the person finished.

Beck suddenly hopped out of his seat and walked towards the man.

"What are you doing?" I hissed. "You can't go up there!"

"I know what I'm doing, Jade. It's fine," he said in a calm voice, grabbing the microphone out of the DJ's hands.

"What will it be?" the guy asked, referring to the song.

"Give Your Heart A Break by Demi Lovato," Beck answered.

"Okay." He flipped through his computer until he reached the one needed.

I sat back in my seat with wide eyes. What was he doing up there? He said he totally had stage fright! Never in a million years had I imagined this!

Before the chords of the song started to play, Beck opened his mouth to say, "This is dedicated to someone special. You know who you are." Then, he started to sing.

The day I first met you

You told me you'd never fall in love

But now that I get you

I know fear is what it really was

Now here we are, so close

Yet so far, haven't I passed the test?

When will you realize

Baby, I'm not like the rest

Don't wanna break your heart

I wanna give your heart a break

I know you're scared it's wrong

Like you might make a mistake

There's just one life to live

And there's no time to wait, to waste

So let me give your heart a break

Give your heart a break

Let me give your heart a break

Your heart a break

Oh, yeah yeah

As he sang, I felt my heart thump wildly in my chest. What in the world was he doing? Plus, when did he get a voice like that? It was both amazing a little disturbing.

When the song finished, everyone in the room clapped loudly. Hoots and whistles came from everywhere. Beck blushed a scarlet red, but didn't give up the microphone quite yet.

"Jade," he said in a shaky voice, gazing at me with scared expression. "Look, I know we haven't known each other for that long, but I can't deny these feelings I have for you. I wanted to try and get rid of my stage fright by singing to you. So, please let me give your heart a break. Will you be my girlfriend?"

Everyone stared at us, waiting in bated breath. I had no idea what to do. My eyes were probably the size of saucers at this point, while my cheeks blazed. My hands shook so much that I had to grip onto the table.

"Jade, this would be a great time for you to say something," Beck urged.

The problem was, I didn't know what to say. Instead of answering him, I got up and ran over to the place where he stood. With the little strength that I had left, I thumped him on the forehead.

The entire audience gasped. Beck stared back with a hurt look on his face.

"What was that for?" he said quietly, dropping the mic.

Again, I didn't answer. It was simply my body that reacted. Leaning forward, I pressed my lips to his in my first kiss. I hadn't imagined it would be in front of all these people, but it didn't take away from the magic moment. I pulled away after a couple of seconds, smiling slightly.

"The thump was for singing that song to me. But the kiss was to answer your question. Yes, I'll be your girlfriend," I responded breathlessly.

A chorus of awwws and sighs erupted everywhere, followed by clapping. Of course, I didn't notice because Beck picked me up, spun me around, and crashed his lips into mine. When he let go, he put me down on the ground, but didn't release my waist.

"I think I've made you speechless," he noted triumphantly.

"Not quite. Thank you, Beck. Thank you for saving me by being my boyfriend," I murmured in his ear.

End Flashback

So, there you have it. That's how I met Beck and how we started dating. As much as I hate to admit, I really miss him. I can't help that my two favorite memories involve him. He used to mean everything to me, before we ended our two and half year relationship.

Anyway, even though we're done, I still think about him a lot. I don't regret meeting and fall in love with him at all. He showed me what real love was. Without him, I would have never gotten the chance to experience it. Because of that, Beck Oliver is someone I'll always remember.


All of these people have helped me in some way. But as I stand on the steps of Julliard, school of the most talented music students in the whole country, I realize that no one saved me this time.

After all of the countless practices, interviews, and essays, I finally got in. I used every ounce of will in me to do whatever I could to attend. And you know what? I did it.

This time, no one saved me. I saved myself.