A/N: I wrote this because my internet wasn't working that day... and i was bored! I like to read Artemis Fowl books
because their interesting... So please review!
Things not to do in front of Artemis Fowl:
1. Do not dance like a maniac in front of Artemis Fowl or you'll get a really painful arm because of Butler.
2. Never ask 'Hey! Arty have a girlfriend yet?' or you'll regret it.
3. If you're a girl never say in front of him: 'Hey handsome…NOT!'
4. Do not hack into ANY computers of his, he'll get his information back (because of Foaly then you'll be in for a surprise).
5. Never do the 'I've got your nose!' jokes to him, cause Butler will get it back.
6. Never say you're the best and smartest Genius ever, because he'll prove you wrong.
7. Never say 'Hey Arty! You're kind of lonely there… Want to join us? NOT!' then when he walks away do not 'And Arty… I've got your nose!' (AKA: Don't combine any Do Nots together in this list.)
8. Never ever, say you know about fairies unless you want a drop in I.Q. & a mind wipe to follow...
9. Don't do the 'your mum's so fat she can't fit in a limo' arguments because he'll take it very seriously.
10. And DO NOT EVER say to him 'How's puberty going Arty?'
