Ok, this is for Sedanur, who asked me to do a Ben fic! I'm not going to say I think this is perfect, or even top-notch for me, but it is what it is, and I tried.
Anyone with ideas on what's to come, please feel free to PM me! I need all the help I can get!
Disclaimer in effect. Don't own Mercy and company, don't own anything but the plot line, if I was making any money, I wouldn't be writing for FanFiction. (Though I could use five bucks... Someone? Anyone? Going once, going twice... Sold! I'm not getting my loan from anyone! Yaya!)
Ok, without further adue, for Sedanur, comes the Liza Mac-and-Cheese production of... Ben!
"Damn it, Mercy. What the bloody hell was that for?" Ben asked irritably, rubbing his jaw like an actor in a cheesy movie.
"For breaking into my home and scaring the living shit out of me!" Mercy returned, hiding her satisfaction that he's at least felt her blow to the face.
Ben shrugged. "Ok, I can deal with that."
"The worst part is you won't even have a bruise." She grumbled, taking a seat on the back of the couch so she wouldn't be any lower than necessary compared to the British werewolf.
"Awful handy, this healing thing."
"Speak for yourself. I fix at the rate of humanity. Not good for a mechanic, I tell you what."
"Coyote's have all the luck." She gave him a look. "I didn't say it was good luck."
Mercy rolled her eyes. "Why did I have to hit you?"
"Well, actually, I needed to talk to you."
She counted on her fingers as she listed, "No, I won't get you in bed with Warren. No, I won't sleep with you. I'm not going to fix your car just so you can look down my shirt when I'm on the floor. And, finally, if you call me a whore, a bitch, or anything else even once, I'm gonna beat your lycanthrope ass to a pulp."
Ben nodded. "Understood."
She tilted her head. "Really?"
"I need to talk, Mercy. Something that, despite popular belief, I can do without calling women a bad name." Mercy made a 'please proceed' motion, and the werewolf took a seat in one of Samuel's chairs. "I want your advice."
"On…?"
"You see, I met this woman when I went to Portland last week, and… Well, as I'm sure you've noticed the female specimen isn't exactly my forte."
"Bottle blonde?"
"Brunette."
"Pretty and dumb?"
"College professor."
"Drinker?"
"Didn't catch that."
Mercy thought for a minute. "Eye color?"
"Green."
"Name, last first?"
"Stanley, Sabrina."
The coyote nodded approvingly. "I never thought you had it in you, but you might have picked up a decent gal this time, Ben! I'm proud of you."
"Back to the point?" He asked, scratching an eyebrow absently.
"Well, it depends. Do you want her to like you, hate you, or sleep with you?" She rose as she spoke, going to the kitchen and returning with a plate of chocolate cookies. She'd had to deem one of her cars irreparable.
"First and last." Ben replied, taking a cookie gratefully.
Mercy nodded. "Ok, so… What does she teach?"
"European history and Latin."
Mercy grinned. "I gotta meet her sometime. Anything with literature?"
"Yeah, she gives a lecture here and there on poets and playwrights."
"Ok, here's what you do; get her into a discussion about Shakespeare's works over dinner. By the time you've concluded that she's right at every turn, she'll be impressed off her seat anyway."
"And then?"
"Move on to her opinions on the prenatural world over some kind of desert with chocolate. Or vice versa. Either way, Shakespeare and werewolves are to come up over the course of the night. After that, you're on your own, pal. Although I will recommend wine with dinner."
He smiled slowly. "Doable. Very much doable. Thanks, Mercy." It sounded oddly heartfelt.
"Sure thing. Oh, and by the way, if this works, I want it in writing to your fearless leader that I'm good for something besides sticking my unnaturally sensitive nose places it doesn't belong and driving him half crazy."
"Adam knows you're good for something. He just chooses not to admit it." Ben turned a slightly lopsided grin on her, and she made a pointed shooing motion toward the door. "Leaving now." He got to his feet.
"Good luck with Sabrina!"
"Thanks." The door closed behind him, and Mercy slid down onto the couch proper. This should be fun to watch play out…
A/N- Ok, hope everyone enjoyed! Again, any ideas are welcom!
Equivalent Exchange: I write, you review! Please?
