STUCK IN TRAFFIC 3

Lee and Carter are bored after a long time of tedious detective work, and decide it is a good night to go out and have a good time. They jump in their car, and find themselves in their usual traffic jam.

Carter: What in the HELL are all these people doing on the street? Ain't they supposed to be watching some reality show shovin twinkies down their fat ass mouthes?

Lee: Isn't that your usual Tuesday night?

Carter: I think you talkin' bout yo mamma.

Lee: Don't talk about my mamma.

Carter: Don't talk shit about my reality television man, I mean it, I'll slap the shit outta you.

Lee: You're the one who watches that shit

Carter: I swear, I'm gonna cook your sweet n sour chicken ass if you keep annoying me.

Lee: I'll fry your chicken ass

Carter: The hell? THAT WAS RACIST

Lee: So was what you said

Carter: Oh, right. Well. Watch yo mouth.

Lee: You such big baby. You bitch all time. Like a woman.

Carter: Lee...shut up, and tell me that aint who I think it is in the car next to us.

Lee looks over to where Carter is pointing, inside of the Cadillac Escalade stopped next to them. Inside the vehicle are four Asian guys each covered in tattoos and scars.

Lee: Oh shit...Triads.

Carter: What in the hell are they doin' here?

The driver of the vehicle glances over and notices Carter and Lee in the car next to him. He does a double take to make sure his eyes arent deceiving him. He motions excitedly to the others in the car, gesturing wildly like a savanna baboon. All the doors on the vehicle open, and four large men exit and start to circle Carter and Lee's car.

Carter: Aw, hell.

Carter and Lee jump out of the vehicle, and automatically move to their two closest opponents.

Carter: Hey Lee, look, this guy looks like Jet Li if he ate one too many Krispy Kremes!

The fat Jet Li lookalike takes a well trained swing at Carter, but he dodges it and counter attacks. He strikes him hard in the chest causing the fat Jet Li to stumble a few steps back. Lee fends off a series of ferocious strikes from his attackers, moving gracefully. He grabs the wrist of the smaller one, twists it, and throws the guy over him. Lee then advances to his next target. The attacker reaches for the gun in his shoulder holster, but Lee is too fast and stops the man. Lee puts the man in a choke hold until he passes out. Carter is struggling with his last Triad. Suddenly, Michael Jackson's Beat It comes on the radio inside of Carter's car.

Carter: Oh hell yeah, cha'mon, I'm gonna introduce you to MICHAEL JACKSON

Carter does his infamous dance that he did in Rush Hour 2, but instead of just doing a normal kick, he kicks the guy in the balls. He slumps over, grabbing his sides.

Carter: THIS ONES FOR MICHAEL!

Carter slams his elbow down on the Triad's neck and he falls down, alive, but unconcious.

Carter: Nothin' like a little soul music to get the blood pumpin'

Lee: Looks like he kicked your ace

Carter: Son of a bitch, Lee, it's ASS. A. S. S.

Lee: That's what I say.

Carter: No asshole, you said ACE. A.C.E.

Lee: I don't give a shit.

Carter: Why can't we have a normal day together?