A/N: I'm not one to use graphic violence unless it fits the story. I imagine violence in this story will be comic book type violence at best, but if it occurs, there will be plenty of warning, and ways to avoid it. :)

Sebastian paces by the window, looking frantically out at the New York City skyline, up and down the grey buildings, sweeping his gaze over the lights of the street down below. He checks his cell phone every fifteen seconds, hoping for a text message, but he only sees the time, and it's not passing to his liking. In fact, Sebastian is certain that each subsequent minute passes by slower just to piss him off.

It wouldn't bother him so much if Kurt wasn't already over an hour late.

Sebastian searches the sky for the telltale tagline of silvery webs crossing the sky, but he sees nothing but a cloudless stretch of inky blackness and the occasional news helicopter.

Sebastian pounds the window with his fist, growling in frustration.

"God thunk fucking thunk dammit THUNK!"

Sebastian's head snaps up when that last impact shakes the whole window. He waits for another sound to follow that one - any other sound - but he's met with only silence. His blood turns to ice.

"Kurt?" Sebastian calls, running toward the sliding balcony door. For a moment, Sebastian prays it wasn't him that smashed into the window. Please, please let it be some big stupid bird. "Kurt? KURT!"

All Sebastian can see is a mangled lump of a human being wrapped in skin-tight blue and red Spandex.

It's a uniform that Sebastian had found so extraordinarily hot when he first saw Kurt in it, but now Sebastian has begun to despise it with every breath in his body.

"Kurt!" Sebastian slides the balcony door open, kneeling down beside his boyfriend, his hands hovering in the air over him with no idea what he can possibly touch that isn't bruised or possibly broken. Kurt doesn't move and Sebastian stares with wide-eyes at his chest, praying to see him breathe.

There's a stuttered fall to his chest, then seconds later a dedicated rise and Kurt begins to breathe. His eyes flutter open, only partially hidden by the nearly shredded mask. He sees Sebastian, mouth agape, face pale, and he has the audacity to smile.

"Hi, honey," Kurt murmurs through cracked lips, blood staining his bottom row of teeth and gums, "I'm home."

Unamused, Sebastian stands up straight and crosses his arms over his chest.

"Kurt!" Sebastian glares murderously at the man lying flat on his back on the floor. "Do you know how fucking late you are? We had reservations over an hour ago!"

Kurt's smile fades and he shakes his head, wincing when some injury in the vicinity of his neck flares up.

"Really?" Kurt struggles against aching muscles to stand with no help from his furious boyfriend. "That's what you're mad about? That I'm late for dinner reservations?"

"Well, whether you like it or not, Mr. Defender-of-the-Innocent," Sebastian complains, "we did have a date tonight, which you missed again."

"I'm sorry if the destruction of the Triborough Bridge put a kink in your Friday night plans," Kurt spits out bitterly, pulling the remaining pieces of his mask off his face. He brushes past Sebastian into the penthouse, uninvited, and makes a beeline for the bathroom. "Next time, I'll remember to let a couple of thousand people die because you have reservations."

"Thank you!" Sebastian says, throwing his hands up in the air triumphantly. "You're finally seeing things my way!"

Kurt simply scoffs, not even dignifying his unreasonable boyfriend's sardonic remark with a comeback.

"Kurt…" Sebastian slides the balcony door shut and walks after a limping Kurt, "there's always going to be a villain terrorizing the city, or a train threatening to crash, or cars dangling off a bridge with people inside, but you can't save them all."

"You don't understand," Kurt says over a dry laugh.

"People die every day," Sebastian continues. "Don't you ever think that maybe you're not really saving anyone – that you're just prolonging the inevitable?"

"Wow," Kurt says with disgust, not breaking his stride to confront Sebastian, "just when I didn't think Sebastian Smythe could be any more of a selfish asshole."

"You're damn right I'm selfish!" Sebastian chases after Kurt, trying to head him off before he can lock himself away behind the bathroom door. "I don't care about the city! I don't care about all those mindless morons who are too stupid to stay out of trouble and get to spend more time with my boyfriend than I do!"

Kurt stops at the threshold of the bathroom door. His shoulders slump and he exhales deeply.

"I'm sorry," he says, turning to face Sebastian fully for the first time since his return. "I forget how much this effects you. And you're right. I need to find some balance in…in all of this…" Kurt motions around him with the hand still holding his torn mask. "And…I don't even know where to begin…"

"We can discuss this later." Sebastian steps forward and takes the mask from Kurt's hand. "Why don't you forget about this for right now. Forget about them…" Sebastian says with a disgusted curl at the mention of the faceless masses that constantly eat up his boyfriend's time. "Take your shower, and then we can get back to our evening."

"I thought we lost our reservation?" Kurt asks, stepping further into his boyfriend's embrace.

"Fuck that restaurant," Sebastian says, his mouth hovering close to Kurt's lips as he speaks. "I'll order take-out. We'll watch Moulin Rouge…just the two of us. What do you say, Spiderman?"

"I say it sounds like a date, Smythe," Kurt whispers. Kurt leans in to kiss Sebastian, but Sebastian moves an inch away.

"Even if we hear gunshots? Even if another bridge blows up? Even if we see the skyline burst into flames?"

"Even if the commissioner himself tries to bust down our door," Kurt promises. He moves in quickly to capture the kiss he was denied, not being at all gentle even though his lips are cracked and split, burning as they touch Sebastian's skin.

Kurt understands Sebastian's frustration. Kurt misses Sebastian. His responsibility to the city may seem like his number one priority, but it isn't. It truly never was.

It's Sebastian. It always has been. Even when they were in high school way back in the day, Kurt loved Sebastian…and he always would. He can walk away from being Spiderman, but Sebastian is something Kurt could never walk away from.

Kurt takes one last, longing look at his gorgeous boyfriend, then heads to the bathroom to clean up.

Sebastian's smooth, seductive grin falls the moment Kurt shuts the bathroom door.

"Yeah, right," Sebastian says, knowing Kurt can't hear him.

Sebastian turns on his heel. He bunches the mask up in his fist and punches the air angrily.

Kurt doesn't see things the way Sebastian does. He doesn't see that these people that he saves aren't the victims – they're the enemy. Their petty problems, their constant need to be rescued, their inability to do anything for themselves is destroying Kurt, but worst of all, it's destroying what Kurt and Sebastian have.

Sebastian can plan vacations, dinner reservations, all night movie-marathons, but it doesn't matter. Those peasants scream and cry, and Kurt comes running. Meanwhile, Sebastian is waiting home all night to go on a date that is doomed before it even begins.

Well, not anymore.

Sebastian and Kurt don't need to discuss this problem, because there won't be a problem anymore.

Sebastian has spent many long and lonely nights coming up with the perfect solution – a way to get the lion's share of Kurt's attention.

Sebastian opens up Kurt's mask in his hands, smoothing out the wrinkles. He runs his fingers over the material, poking through the holes that seem to have grazed Kurt's face, barely missing his eye. This is the final straw. It's time to take Kurt's attention away from all of the dangerous, unnecessary imbeciles of the world and put it back where it belongs – on the man who would soon become Kurt's fiancé.

Maybe Sebastian hasn't had the benefit of being bitten by a radioactive spider, but he has one thing that most normal men looking to enter his new profession have.

He's richer than Midas.

If donning his own Spandex body suit and endangering a few civilian lives as Manhattan's newest super villain is the only way he's going to get his boyfriend's attention, then so be it.