Kindergarten
"But Mom… What if the kids have cooties or lice or- OH GOD WAS THAT A RAT?" "Tweek, calm down… Here have some of my coffee." The small blond grabbed the thermos and drank as if it would save his life, just like he thought the hospital booties and his mom's rubber gloves would. His eyes darted back and forth, scanning the room. He recognized the Marsh kid and the Broflovski kid from encounters when his mom forced him to be outside. The thought of the dirt getting in his eyes and blinding him or having man-eating bug land on him, like that mosquito, just scared him. He would try to resist (like he did today), but his dad is stronger and bigger and it's not fair! "Mom! I don't like school anymore! I wanna go home! … Mom?" She had left while he was having his little panic attack. He was alone… Alone with strangers. And the TV said strangers are danger. Ernie and Big Bird said strangers are danger. "Stranger danger!" He fell to floor and cried, cried like that brown haired boy in the corner wanting to go home. He held his thermos tighter. "GAHHHH!" "Hey, young man! What is that you're holding?" The teacher loomed over him like a bloodthirsty monster. "AHHHH don't drink my blood!" He threw the thermos and hid under the table.
Under there though he saw that everyone was starting to get comfortable. All the kids were playing together and laughing as if they weren't bawling or yelling for their mommy's a minute ago. "There you are! What's your name little boy?" "T-tweek…" "Well Tweek, come join the rest of the class. It'll be fun." She said that last word almost welcoming and funny. It made Tweek giggle a bit. "Now, sweetie, it is impolite to throw things at someone's head. It's very rude. I promise you'll have fun, and then you can have your thermos back at the end of the day." That sounded nice and sweet. She sounded like a mom. Like his mommy. He nodded shyly and crawled out from under the table. The teacher guided him towards the group. The Marsh boy and Broflovski boy were playing with blocks, which were eventually knocked over by a big kid they called Cartman. The brown haired boy had stopped crying and was playing cars with a blonde kid in a hoodie who some how was choking on the car he was playing with. Then he saw a lone kid spinning around going whoosh. "I'm a spaceman!" Tweek smiled a bit and bounced towards him. "Can I be a spaceman too?" "No! Only I can be spaceman!" Tweek felt a pain in his chest. Later he would recognize this as sad, but it was confusing. He never felt this kind of hurt. It made him cry. "Hey, kid. Quit being a pussy and be an alien." "What's a pussy?" "I don't know. My mom calls my dad that sometimes if he's not doing something." "Oh ok." The 'spaceman' whooshed again and Tweek started growling and bouncing around playfully. The 'spaceman' started running away and laughing. "Ah! The alien's gonna eat me!" "RAWR!"
By the time lunch came around, the parka kid was alright, but kept coughing. The Marsh kid and the Broflovski kid (who Craig [the spaceman] said are called Stan and Kyle) checked on him and joked with him, while Cartman taunted and called the kid names, saying 'Kenny's a stump-baby!' or 'Kenny's family are poor dirty homos!' Craig told Tweek that he already didn't like Stan and Kyle, especially since they made fun of him being a spaceman. "They're stupid." "That's a bad word! Ernie and Big Bird say so!" "They are Tweek!" Tweek jittered and drank out his thermos. "What're you drinking anyway?" "Hm? Oh um it's called c-coffee." "Can I try it?" Tweek handed him the thermos and shook a bit. Craig took a sip and spat it out. "It tastes like poopy!" Tweek took it back and hugged the hot container. "I like it…" Craig bleh'd and offered Tweek some of his sandwich. "It's peanut butter and jelly." "I like peanut butter and jelly, but can I take a bite out of the other side? Better yet just pinch me off a piece. Better yet you can keep the sandwich." "Don't you like PBJ?" "Yea but… I have my chips and coffee so I'll be fine…" Tweek hugged his thermos tighter. Coffee was the greatest. Besides he didn't wanna die from the cooties on Craig's sandwich. Then he heard a plop and saw an untouched half of Craig's sandwich. "My mommy splits it in half for me." Tweek smiled and ate it. So far he liked Craig.
When Tweek's mommy came to get him, he and Craig were still playing spaceman. Stan threw up on a girl who was crying cause of cooties. Kyle then gave Stan a cootie shot in response. "Circle circle, dot dot, now you got the cootie shot. Circle circle, square square, now you have it everywhere. Circle circle, knife knife, now you have it all your life!" They both laughed and played blocks again. Kenny still played cars with that brown haired kid. "Did you have fun Tweek?" "I did, mommy. May I come again everyday?" Craig piped up saying he still needed an alien for tomorrow. "Well I don't see why not? I mean I did enroll you in this school…" Tweek jittered excitedly and said goodbye to Craig. "Besides Tweek, if you didn't go to school we'd have to sell you into slavery." "WHAT? OH GOD!"
