Chapter 1-Role of A Lifetime
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*I do not own Twilight or any of the characters, they are property of Stephanie Meyer*
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My head rested on the cold wood of my old desk. I still had an hour until I had to get to school, and I couldn't pretend to be asleep any longer, in truth I had been up since 4:00 in the morning, sleep was not an option. It wasn't nerves I was feeling… it was something else. Anxiousness I guess was a better word. Which was strange. I was hardly ever anxious, only one time, last year when I got that damn text message from...him. And than it all changed, and now I was, well I was here; months later, after all the preliminary hearings and the identity changes, and promises of "new beginnings". I heard my 'father's' footsteps trudging up the stairs to wake me up, and got up from my desk, fully dressed already and ready to go. It was odd, hearing anyone's footsteps on the stairs; I'd never had stairs until I moved here. Only 45 minutes to spare until school started. Hah. Another five minutes and I might kill myself of restlessness. I never realized how annoying free time was. I would kill for a good solid essay or project to do, something I never thought I'd say. Anything to fill in the idle minutes until I could get into my lovely new/old 1950s faded red Chevy Truck and drive to my own personal torture chamber, sometimes known as Forks High School. I knew nothing about cars, but my trusty 1995 Saturn SC2 had been taken away after the hearings and before my "make-over". Anything that could identify me had to be removed from my life. So I lost Pluto, what my old best friend Briana and I affectionately named my old car because it was too small to be a real car; just like Pluto was apparently too small to be a real planet. In that moment I felt a pain swelling in my chest as I thought about Briana…and how she had no idea what had really happened to me.
A soft knock interrupted my nothingness. "Come in Ch--Dad," I said catching myself. I gave Charlie a small smile and gestured around my room. "Welcome to my humble abode." I joked as Charlie peeked his head in. "I'm getting ready to leave now. I just have to eat breakfast." I said as he gave me a small nod. It was obvious he was trying not to spend too much time around me, less chance for me to slip up in case the house was bugged. I don't see how it could be, the US Marshalls had combed everywhere, and then given me Charlie as protection and to fill the role as single father in my new life. Charlie was all right. But I missed my real father, and my mother, and amazingly even my younger sister Katie. But for the time being we were separated. It was for the best. I continually told myself this. I was starting to believe it. Sometimes it came in useful to have been previously gone to a Dramatic Arts high school in Arizona. I was about to start the role of a lifetime.
All the world's a stage. I mused.
Charlie, like the new me, didn't say much. It would make it easy to live with I guess, not having to worry about arguing and bonding time like with real parents. He'd stay out of my way, and I'd stay out of his. As long as he carried that big gun and was ready to use it in case something went wrong, I was fine. I grabbed my scantily supplied backpack, housing only a binder and some pens, and walked very carefully down the stairs. Running and me didn't mix too well, especially downwards when extra gravity was involved. Of course my clumsiness was the one thing I was taking with me from my old life. I rolled my eyes; of everything I could keep it was my klutzo status, not my perfect hair. Knowing my track record I would fall and hit my head on a wall and have a concussion. Wonderful, I would be known as the new girl who was sent to the hospital on the first day. What a reputation. As of right now I was trying very very hard not to have any reputation. I just wanted to blend. Blend with the grey sky and green trees. I had never ever wanted to blend in my life. Lor Geller was an aspiring actress, always the first to try anything new, the first to accept any dare. Lor Geller was tan like most Arizonians, with deep green eyes, light blond hair almost touching her belly button. She was loud, opinionated, and funny.
I glanced in the mirror over the little stand in the hallway. Bella Swan glanced back. Bella was quiet, shy, and blended. I hated my new self. I knew it was shallow, but I didn't feel beautiful anymore. Didn't feel confident. Bella was pretty I guess, but ordinary. My eyes looked over my bleached white skin, shoulder length wavy hair and brown eyes. There was a time in my life, around 13 I believe, that I had wished I had brown eyes.
"Be careful what you wish for," I said rolling my eyes. I couldn't believe I was talking to myself. I had never been so lonely in my life.
"Good luck today Bella." Charlie sat as I sat down with my cereal bowl, clearly unsure what to tell me.
"Thanks Dad." I said knowing this must be hard for him too.
We ate in silence and Charlie left before I did, placing his bowl in the sink before heading out to the police station, where he now worked as a cover. Plus it was useful to know what was going on. He'd have a heads up on any violence or odd sightings. I was left alone, which I didn't mind, but wasn't really used to. My mother would have insisted on driving me to school herself. In a way I was glad I was left alone, would draw less attention when you don't show up with a parent. Still the thought of my mom made me sad and made me wonder if she was feeling any better since leaving the hospital, and I did my best to push painful thoughts from my head, which I was pretty successful with.
When I could put it off no longer, I placed my own used bowl in the sink, knowing I would do the dishes later tonight. It would help; doing housework would give me something to do at least. If I was left with nothing to do for too long, my mind would start to wonder and let my imagination take over, and so would my memories.
I sighed as I pulled on my plain black jacket and old brown boots, imagining I was a soldier gearing up for war. I missed my bright, colorful, and sometimes hand made clothes. Anything to stand out had been my motto, always be different. Different is remembered and you want to be remembered, those remembered get cast in movies. My grey mood matched the sky, as I walked outside and started up the thing.
It took me only a few moments to get to the school. I was early, even with all my delaying and took the time to go to the office and pick up my schedule for the day, maybe introduce myself to the principle. I knew I had to lay low, but I still wanted to be friendly.
I parked my large red truck in the first spot I could find and went inside my new school. The office was to the right of the entrance, with large glass doors showing me that there were three desks in what appeared to be only a seating room, with doors and hallways leading off into other offices further inside the school.
The lady at the first desk was nice enough but when I said my name, there was no flash of recognition, no large smile and "Good Morning Miss Geller!" like at my old school. No need to get touchy... I reminded myself. You gave up who you were the moment you agreed to go on a date with James Laurent. The frown I didn't realize I was even wearing deepened. I still sighed, unhappily and left the office, just as the mass of the student body was entering through the main doors.
That was when I saw him. The most beautiful boy I had ever seen, and possibly I most beautiful I would ever see. I smiled. And he walked right by me, without even a second glance. I felt like I'd been slapped. I'd never been ignored like that before. I'd always smile, and make friends. I made myself look away from the guy who got away, knowing I would not give up on him. First chance, I was introducing myself. No you are not. I reminded myself. You are no longer Lor Geller, you are Bella Swan. And you are a shy, little…no one. I cringed inwardly, and looked down at my schedule. This was going to be harder than I thought. I just kept repeating to myself "Role of a lifetime…role of a lifetime…role of a lifetime."
I made it through English, Math, and History without too much trouble. The other boys here were extremely friendly and one boy, Mike Newton, took it upon himself to be my own personal tour guide. I guess I didn't look as bad as I thought I did. These boys certainly gave me their full attention. I didn't mind, but no matter who made their way over and introduced themselves; my mind was on the boy I had seen in the hallway.
I was invited to have lunch with Mike and some of his other friends, and I tried to take this distraction to keep my mind off 'He-who-must-not-be-named'. I laughed quietly. It wasn't that he must not be named, I just happened to not know his name.
At lunch I sat with Mike, a talkative girl named Jessica, who as Lor I would have put to shame-I saw through her 'lets be friends act' but Bella was nice and put up with it, a quiet girl named Nicole, I knew there had to be some sense of adventure under the good-girl façade and few other people whose names had already floated from my mind. I couldn't keep my eyes on my own table; I kept drifting towards the table that held the boy from the hallway and 4 others, who were almost as beautiful.
Jessica, just as nosy as I thought she was, watched me watching them and laughed. I managed to tear my eyes away, and tried not to give her too much of a dirty look. I settled for confused, and the phrase 'role of a lifetime' floated once more through my mind.
"Who are they?" I asked quietly, and Jessica immediately knew whom I meant. She explained to me that they were the Cullen's, with a small flick of her plain brown hair. Watching her do this I said a sudden urge to smile and flick my own hair; my new brunette locks were much nicer than her natural ones. I took comfort in that. I was shameless and shallow and I knew it. Don't judge me.
"They are the Cullens and the Hales. They hang out with no one but themselves. Too rich and perfect for everyone else. Dr Cullen and his wife adopted the Hales a few years back, and the other three are theirs biologically. I think." She said with a roll of her dull brown eyes, which were no match to my almost golden brown ones. I couldn't help notice that this girl almost looked like a diluted version of the new me. I tuned back into what she was saying. "The blond girl is Rosalie Hale, and her twin brother Jasper is the other blond. They are a year older than us. Seniors. The small dark haired girl is Alice Cullen, junior too, and the large muscley one is Emmet Cullen, also a senior." I tried not to roll my eyes at her stunning lack of creative adjectives at describing the students at the table. "And that is Edward Cullen, junior." She said smiling almost involuntarily at the perfect boy. "Don't waste your time." She added, glancing at me almost disdainfully. So I wasn't alone in my conquest for him. Interesting. Jessica was still talking about them, filling me in, but I had drifted out then, and lost the rest of what she was saying. I was unable to concentrate on anything but them. The bell rang, a sharp awakening from the daydreaming I had been doing and I eventually remembered I had biology to go to, which would be easy. I had been in Advance Placement bio in Arizona.
Unfortunately I got a little lost on the way to the room, and was at least five minutes late. Normally I would have relished in the idea that when I walked in all eyes would be on me, but now I was blending.
When I found the room, I was shocked to discover the only free seat was next to the Cullen boy, Edward. I made my way carefully to sit next to him, not sure what to say. If I was Lor, I would push my hair behind my ear, and smile brightly with a friendly introduction and a handshake. But I was no longer Lor and I had to stop living in the past. So instead, I sat down, and looked down at the desk, trying not to glance at the gorgeous boy I no longer had the nerve to talk to.
