It's been nearly 6 years since I first set my eyes upon that boy. It was his fault Lily died at the hands of the Dark Lord. I know it now as I knew it then, that it has always been his fault, whether he knows it or not. Whether he intended for it to be so, is besides the point.

Potter. The bane of my existence. At first I found myself overcome with spite for the boy. It was only natural I suppose. And then something changed inside me. A strange, feeling eating me up inside every time I watched him with those other two meddling twits he keeps as company. And the more this feeling grew, the more I grew angry. Mainly at myself for being such a foolish old man. Dirty, so very dirty.

You grow old before your time, Severus. Rest, once in a while, my boy.

Bloody Albus and his bloody simple-on-the-surface-but-it's-a-bloody-iceberg-really messages. Sod it. Every time Albus talks to me I feel a need to down my secret stash of Ogden's Finest in one sitting.

I've had too much for this night already. But you see… I need to tell you this soon, Potter. Because the Dark Lord is moving faster by the minute, and I too move faster despite myself.

I feel I need to tell you this Potter, I feel like… Merlin blast these bloody feelings. I don't know what to make of them.

But Potter, your eyes. They're Lily's. Your heart, Potter, its Lily's. You see Potter, you are her, and she is you. Every snotty bit of arrogance thrown at me I wash away at night when I see those eyes. Every moment you shove anger in my face, is at least a moment when I am on your mind. You see Potter, I am about to say this. Finally say it, and mean it. From the bottom of this dark home I've made for my soul. In the hopes that saying this will redeem me somehow. And I will walk away from this scarred, ashamed, but the better man.

It was always you, obnoxious boy. Always.