I am so sorry for not writing anything for the past two weeks! My writing muse completely left me. I feel it coming back though, so I'm slowly chipping away at things I've written.

Platonic Kidoaya has suddenly become one of my favorite ships, and I've always wanted to try and write a lot of angst. Is this even considered angst? I don't know. Oh, I also found Kido a little difficult to write. How does one write the Danchou...ah, so much OOCness.

Also…as the fic progresses, you may notice that I transition from their first names to last names. This is on purpose, I promise. I thought it'd be pretty cool.

Kagerou Project belongs to Jin.


Ayano Tateyama was her second big sister.

Tsubomi remembered very clearly how her first big sister had sacrificed herself in that horrible, heated place. Why would she even do that? She was an illegitimate child after all, and she was ridiculed because of it, deemed as nothing by her father and the rest of her family.

So why? Why was she worthy enough to live?

The orphanage was no different. Now that her eyes burned a crimson red, she was reduced to a monster, along with Kousuke and Shuuya. But while Kousuke had a good heart, and while Shuuya had a playful tone, what was she? She wasn't even supposed to be born. She was nothing but a ghost. Her power gave Tsubomi her wish, the wish of concealment, and now she was barely noticeable.

That all changed, though. Ayano changed that, although Tsubomi wasn't accepting at first. Fear settled in as she was taken to the Tateyama household with Kousuke and Shuuya. What if she lost her, too? Then what would she do? That dreadful day brought back painful memories for Tsubomi, and it stuck with her. What if something happened to Ayano on that day as well?

As the days flew by, Tsubomi saw how hard Ayano was trying to be a good sister. Of course, out of the three of them, Tsubomi was the only one to have had a sibling, and this struck at home. Being a big sister was hard work, and it was often filled with sacrifices to be made. She had seen it first – the love of a big sister goes a long way.

So when Ayano wrapped that red muffler around her neck and declared them to be heroes, Tsubomi was the first to react. While the boys sat with a bewildered look on their face, she stood up, bringing Ayano to smile as she did.

"I will be member one," she said, following Ayano's number being zero. Beside her, Kousuke followed suit, and declared he would number two. Shuuya was last to rise, hesitating at first, but finally saying that he would be member number three.

Before they knew it, the Mekakushi Dan was born.


Tsubomi had now taken it as a habit to call her "onee-chan." It wasn't uncommon, right? In fact, the first time she had used it, Ayano was very happy.

"Onee-chan…?"

"Hm? Tsubomi, what is it?" Ayano peered from the kitchen, the soup boiling loudly in the pot.

After Ayaka died – on that terrible date, no less – Ayano had taken the role as not only a sister, but a mother as well. She cooked, cleaned, and did the laundry – all while juggling her school work and activities. She really did work hard, didn't she? There must be something that Tsubomi could do…

"Um…do you need help?" Tsubomi buried her face in her jacket, looking away as quickly as she could as she asked that question.

"Hmm…well…" Ayano looked into her pot, idly mixing it with the ladle in hand. "You can set up the table if you'd like!"

"O – okay." Tsubomi quickly shuffled over to the bowls, taking them out one by one and stacking them in a tower. Ayano watched as she placed them at each respective spot, placing chopsticks and small spoons in a nice, neat manner. If anything, Tsubomi was a perfectionist, and it was no other than her rich family descent was she able to achieve such a trait.

Now, Ayano knew that Tsubomi came from a wealthy family, although she wasn't even supposed to be there. So when Tsubomi was done tweaking the placement of the items, she beamed, clapping her hands together in a congratulatory manner.

"Good job, Tsubomi!" Ayano looked from side to side, and when she saw no one around her perimeter, she held up the ladle full of soup. "Want to taste?"


Just like any big sister, Ayano faced the troubles of school. Tsubomi knew that her big sister didn't do well, but it seemed as if she made a friend.

Tsubomi entered the room, which she shared with Ayano, and found her big sister mulling over a pile of worksheets, her brows furrowed in concentration as she did. It was late at night, and Tsubomi was ready to go to bed, but her big sister mumbled a name, and she was curious.

"Onee-chan…who's…Kisaragi?" Tsubomi tilted her head to the side as she sat on her bed, playing with the pants of her pajamas.

"Tsubomi! Ah, he's a…friend!" Ayano laughed, a look of embarrassment sweeping her face. She scratched her cheek with her pencil, a habit she picked up from her father. "Yep, friend! Doesn't he have a cool name?"

"It sounds like a manga character," Tsubomi replied, interest drawing her into the conversation.

"Mhm!" Ayano looked back at her papers, a solemn look on her face, and she tugged on her scarf. "I hope he joins our group someday. He's a hero, too."

Then Ayano looked up at her little sister, a small pool of tears brimming in her eyes. This got Tsubomi's attention, and immediately she was concerned, but she didn't jump out of her bed. Her big sister was strong, wasn't she? Surely someone like her would be okay soon. But she couldn't help but worry…

"Onee-chan…" Tsubomi's voice trailed off, blinking as Ayano wiped away the tears.

"I'm okay, don't worry!" Ayano still kept a cheerful tone as she blinked away the tears. "Just…promise me, Tsubomi, that if something ever happens to me, you'll take the lead, okay? You're member number one, after all!"

Was she really okay? This tugged Tsubomi's mind, but she didn't dare to ask it. Nothing bad will ever happen to Ayano, right? She was their red hero, and she wouldn't leave them. They were a patchwork family, and they were going to be happy…right?

"Okay, onee-chan."


And once again, she lost a sibling. Kido cried for a long period of time after she found out about Ayano's death. Her family was broken once more, and she knew she should have suspected something when that day had come along. Now they had run away from their home, from their father, into an apartment where they messily restarted the Mekakushi Dan.

Kido sat in front of Ayano's grave, tears flowing as she brought her hands to the characters on the stone. She was gone, wasn't she? She was gone the minute she jumped off that roof. Ayano wasn't meant to stay very long.

You said we would be a family for a long time…but why? Why did you leave us?

Ayano was her role model, her commander, her big sister. And once more, she had lost a sibling to that horrid day, and now she really knew that she was alone. Ayano had been ripped away from their makeshift family, and while the trio tried to move along, her death impacted them greatly.

But what was it that she said that night?

"Just…promise me, Tsubomi, that if something ever happens to me, you'll take the lead, okay? You're member number one, after all!"

Lead. That was the position she was thrust into now that Ayano was gone. The leader of the Mekakushi Dan…it didn't sound so bad. She could get used to that.

"I'll lead them to the best of my ability," Kido said, talking to the stone as if it were Ayano herself. She had adopted her informal way of talking, a "tough" choice of words lacing its way into her sentences. "I'll lead them. I'll lead all of them."


One by one, their membership grew.

There was Mary, a girl that Seto had brought in from the forest. She was clumsy and was always apologizing, but Kido knew she had good intentions. Plus, she made those fake flowers that brought the Dan an extra amount of money on top of Seto's salary.

Momo followed suit, a popular idol who dubbed Kido as "danchou". The idol had a weird taste in, well, everything. But the energetic girl was someone Kido enjoyed being around with, despite never saying it out loud.

Ene and Shintaro were a pair. While Ene was a cyber being, and perhaps a little too high speed for Kido, Shintaro was slow, still coming out of his ways as a NEET. Often, Kido would walk in to the boy bickering with Ene, but she could see that they were friends despite their differences.

Hibiya was member number eight, falling into a deep state of sullenness after escaping the Haze. Of course, Kido had to explain what it was to him – well, the limited knowledge she had of it. Momo dragged the boy around town in an attempt to cheer him up as well. Kido shook her head as she watched the idol drag the poor boy away. Was he in for a surprise.

Konoha's past was something he could not remember. He was forgetful, and he was curious about everything around him. He was like a little kid experiencing the world for the first time, and he ate a lot of Kido's food. At least there were no leftovers.

Another family stitched together by a common feature – their eyes. With the exception of Ene and Shintaro, their eyes glowed red as their powers activated, and they were like a super hero group…or something like that.

While it was hard to get the members to get along and follow her instructions, this little group was something precious to Kido, even if she didn't say it herself. She cared for all the members of the Dan, and if Ayano was with them right now, she guessed that she would be as happy as ever.

Ayano…Kido tried to be as good as a leader as her, but she always did fall short.

At the end of the day, though, she was rewarded with another successful day with the whole entire group. That was something she looked forward to.


"Kano…why? Why didn't you tell me?"

She had forced herself not to cry. She hadn't cried since that day at Ayano's grave. And now…now Kano was telling her this? That all this time, the reason why Kano was gone a lot was because he had been pretending to be Ayano?

"Nee-chan didn't want me to tell anyone!" Kano said, that deceitful smirk wiped away from his face as Kido drew closer to him, a mixture of anger and loss tugging at her heart. No one was around at the base, and she had found out once she figured something was bothering Kano. As the leader, she had to check up on something like that.

"You're lying…" Kido retorted, holding the front of Kano's shirt as she willed herself for the tears to keep still. "You're always lying! Onee-chan wouldn't do that!"

"She didn't want to anyone to know…!" Kano replied, lifting his head up to meet Kido's. The leader dared to look into them, and for once, they didn't burn red. Or maybe Kano had deceived her with that, too. "She told me…not to tell anyone!"

"She's gone! You could have told us now." She pushed him against the wall, her defenses falling as she felt the hot tears stream down her face. At that moment, her second big sister seemed more like a mystery, and she couldn't take it. There was a reason to her death, and Kano had known all along. So why…?

"I didn't want you to know…" Kano's voice was barely a whisper, and he, too, was crying. Kido held on for a few more seconds before letting go of his shirt, and she wiped her tears away as fast as she could. This was no way for a leader to act. Taking a deep breath, she looked up at Kano once more.

He didn't seem to be lying now.

"I knew this would happen." Kano gripped Kido's arms, and she squirmed a bit. "I knew you would freak out over this."

"Of course I would!" Kido spat back before making a sudden discovery.

Those words from that night years ago came back, and for once, they made sense. Ayano was crying because that day was fast approaching, and that she would have to leave the world soon. Not only was she told to become a leader, but she was also told that Ayano would leave very soon.

She trusted her. She trusted Kido to lead the Dan, to lead what she had created, to take them to places that she wouldn't be able to.

Kido calmed down now, and she stared at Kano for a long time, trying to figure out what to say. For once she was speechless, and she turned into that crybaby that she was back when she was young.


Ayano Tateyama was her second big sister, and she left a big impact on Kido's life.

Without her, Kido wouldn't have accepted herself. Without her, Kido wouldn't have known the value of a big sister. Without her, Kido wouldn't have learned about sacrifice, selflessness, and thoughtfulness.

Without her, Kido would have never learned that she was destined to be a leader.

As she watched the Mekakushi Dan part ways, she dipped her head. Her duties as a leader were over, and while it was a good experience, it had to end someday. And after layers and layers of tragedies, it was today that they would dissolve, and she would not have someone to look after. She would not have a group of people who she would have to command, to go on missions with, to become another family to her.

But it was good while it lasted. As she turned away to face whatever future she had next, she closed her eyes, looking at the sky. Ayano was out there somewhere, watching in that timeless Heat Haze.

"I'll always be member number one," Kido whispered, a peace of mind settling in. "And you'll always be member number zero, onee-chan."