Because I need Destiel to become canon this season or I might actually die. This is Dean's Chapter.
To be honest, I don't remember the exact moment I fell in love with you.
That seed of longing was implanted in my heart the minute you walked through those barn doors all those years ago. You acted cold and distant, yet somehow I knew that you considered me a great friend. You put all the broken pieces of my soul back together, and you knew that I was a good man. A righteous man. I didn't trust you at first, of course. You need to earn it. And you did.
Maybe the moment I fell in love with you was when you were reluctant to make me torture Alastair. You had seen my soul when it was in Hell. We both knew that you didn't want me to do what I did down there ever again. And you would have given anything not to have me do it. You said so yourself. I did it, of course, and almost got killed because of it, but your words were enough to tell me that you cared.
Or maybe the exact moment I fell in love with you was when I told you never to change. It was an ordinary night, as far as ordinary describes anything I do. I was talking to you on the phone, and I said that I'd rather talk in the morning, so you hung up. Sam wasn't there. Zachariah appeared and zapped my into an apocalyptic future, where Sam was Lucifer and I was the leader of a band of survivors of the Croatoan virus. And you were there, but you weren't an angel. You were just another junkie, a fallen angel who had no hope of redemption. But you followed my future self anyway, because you knew that I was a good man. A righteous man. I spent that night scared and alone, until Zachariah zapped me back to the present. Even then, as he was about to kill me, you summoned me to you. Right in the brink of time. You saved my life, and you played it off with a little smile and a shrug of your shoulders. But I never forgot that.
I can't be sure, but maybe the moment I fell in love with you was when I gave you your trenchcoat back outside that mental asylum. You didn't know who you were, or who I really was, but your heart told you to trust me, because I was a good man. A righteous man. I had thought you were dead, killed by the Leviathans, but you showed up when I needed you the most. You didn't know the significance of it, but you accepted that trenchcoat with a smile and a nod of thanks.
Perhaps the moment I fell in love with you was when I found you in Purgatory. I had been searching for almost a year, looking for the angel that had abandoned me. I wanted to be mad at you for leaving me, but I just couldn't hold on to that anger for long. After all, a good and righteous man does not hold grudges. I found you, and I greeted you like an old friend, and you told me to leave. At first I was confused. We were family. I wouldn't abandon you, even if you had abandoned me. And then you told me that you left to keep all the things that were hunting you away from me. And I knew only someone who really loved me would do that.
I'm not sure, but the moment I fell in love with you could have been when you broke through Naomi's trance on you. You had been acting suspicious for a while, and I was beginning to worry about you. When we went looking for the angel tablet, you started to try to kill me. You were under Naomi's spell, and she was screaming at you to kill me. And then I said "We need you, Cas. I need you." Just like that, you were you again. You healed me and then left, but I never forgot. Our love was strong enough to break through angels' wills.
Maybe I fell in love with you the moment I drove you to your date, and then realized I was jealous at the thought of you being with someone else. You had called to tell me that there was a case in the town where you were undercover as a human, so I drove from Kansas to Idaho to help you. I found you working in that Gas-N-Sip, I couldn't help but be proud of you for working with the humans so well. And when I came inside, you looked shocked to see me, but I could tell you were happy. When you told me you had a date, I brought you in my car and made sure you were dressed okay, and then I dropped you off. And when I got back to my motel room I realized, I should be the one who's taking you on that date. Or course, your date didn't work out to well, but that doesn't matter.
But I think the time that is most likely the moment I fell in love with you was when you saved me. Sure, you had saved me before, but this wasn't an ordinary situation. I was a demon, and you turned me back into a human. Your grace was running low and you were dying, yet you still gave me everything you had. You made the ultimate sacrifice to save me, and for that, Cas, I am eternally grateful.
I thank God everyday that he brought you back after you saved me. After all, what was the point of me living if the things I lived for were gone?
