Naruto's chest hurt a lot. He wouldn't admit it, the smile on his face never fading a bit. His cerulean eyes watched the exchange between his two friends and he could feel that pain in his chest spread and fester like fatal poison.
It'd been like that since Sasuke got back. He cut Naruto off and let Sakura in, which surprised him, and everyone else, too. Naruto still remembers the way his stomach felt when he saw Sakura and Sasuke in Ichiraku's eating ramen together. They were closer than usual, and their knees were touching. He can still remember the way his breath left and his chest felt like a chidori went through it all over again.
That was beside the point.
He still smiled when he saw the two, not wanting Sakura to worry over him. He would never admit how much it hurt seeing Sasuke stand close to her. Sasuke never stood that close to anyone but Sakura. Naruto remembers trying to stand that close once. Sasuke tensed up until Naruto stepped back, acting like it was all an accident.
He went home and tore everything off his walls and let out a couple pained cries.
He let out a shaky breath and turned away from the two. He knew they were probably going to kiss. Though, he never witnessed it, always turning away before he thought it would happen. Naruto thought he was dying. He didn't like it.
But, that was ok. As long as Sasuke was happy. Even if Naruto wasn't a part of his life.
His feet carried him towards Neji's grave. He really missed him. Naruto had nightmares of Neji dying for him almost every night. If it wasn't that, it was Sakura and Sasuke happily married with Sharingan wielding kids. Naruto no where in sight.
Naruto never questioned where he was in the nightmare. He had a pretty good idea what happened to himself.
When he was offered the position of Hokage, he turned it down when he remembered Sasuke's declaration. He'd let the bastard have the position. After all, Naruto only wanted Sasuke to be happy. Even if he had to give up on something he worked so hard for.
Tsunade was pissed and decided she'd keep the Hokage position for a few more years.
Naruto's fingers traced Neji's name before his hand silently fell to his side. He didn't know when he fell to his knees. He didn't know a lot anymore. A sigh left his chapped lips and he wiped his cheek with a black sleeve.
He ditched the orange jumpsuit after Sasuke came back.
Naruto walked into his silent apartment, not carrying to shout 'I'm home!' anymore. He never did it now. He knew for a fact he'd only be greeted with silence and more misery. Naruto would admit to himself that this place didn't feel like home at all. Did he even have a home? Jiraiya told him it was wherever someone thought of you the most.
Naruto knew that no one thought of him often. He was just a ghost, just like when he was a kid.
Naruto opened a new bottle of sake, not carrying that he was underage. Drinking made him feel better. He took a swig of it, enjoying the way it felt like fire burning him up inside. He decided that he didn't want just swigs of the liquor, he wanted gulps so he couldn't remember anything faster.
He understood why Granny Tsunade drank so much now.
Half the bottle was gone and Naruto lay on his floor, staring up at the ceiling. He shut his eyes, forcing tears away. He brought the bottle to his lips, or tried to. He ended up missing an pouring a good amount down his right cheek and into his hair. Naruto let out a string of curses then sighed.
He couldn't do anything right, could he?
The next morning Naruto woke up with a familiar headache and a horrid smell coming from his left. He rolled to the right, groaning in the process. He looked down and saw a pile of his own puke and could feel just how disgusting his hair was. Both his bangs moved across his face, puke on the left one and dried alcohol on the other.
Naruto decided he didn't care and sat back down, drinking the rest of the sake.
When Naruto woke up again, there was a loud pounding from somewhere. He wasn't sure if he hit his head when he passed out or if someone was at his door. Either way, his head felt like someone was using it as a bass drum. He stood up with a groan before stumbling to his door and trying to pull it open, wondering why it wouldn't budge.
Naruto forgot he started locking his door when he realized Sasuke wasn't ever coming over.
A few colorful words slurred from his mouth before his eyes focused and he realized the door was locked. Naruto's shoulders slumped before he unlocked it and opened the door. Tenten stood there, flowers in hand with a wide grin on her face. The smile dropped when she took in Naruto's appearance.
Naruto didn't care, though. He didn't care about a lot anymore.
Tenten asked what was wrong before Naruto laughed and waved her off, asking what the flowers were for. She seemed to hesitate but the smile came back tenfold and she thrust the calendula and poppie bouquet into his hands. He watched Tenten summon a different bouquet from her scroll before walking off.
Naruto remembers Ino telling him about calendula and poppies while they were on a mission.
Naruto snorted when she left because whoever made this bouquet didn't have Ino's help. His stomach twisted a bit though, as his fingers messed with the little card attached to the flowers. He noticed Sakura's handwriting right away and wondered if maybe she picked those flowers for a reason.
After all, calendula's represented despair and grief while poppies were often used at funerals.
Naruto shook his head before opening the card and reading it over and over again. The flowers fell to the floor along with the card. Naruto left them there, declaring he needed a shower in order to wake up. That's all he wanted to do, really. The water felt like kunai's sliding across his tan skin and he just stood there.
Maybe he'd wake up and realize he was only in a coma and Sasuke was sitting next to his side.
Naruto stared at the flowers still by the door frame before running his hand under his nose and adverting his saddened eyes. He gripped the yellow towel around his waist before turning and walking into his small room. The hourglass on his wall seemed to be turning slower than usual. He'd change the batteries later. Maybe.
Naruto didn't know if he wanted the hourglass to keep turning. It was only a gift, anyways.
He carelessly threw on a pair of briefs and black sweatpants before staring at himself in his broken mirror. His ribs seemed more pronounced and bright hair duller. Naruto had forgotten to eat a few times, too busy making others happy and drinking life away. He looked away, putting on a red short sleeve shirt that had the Uzumaki symbol on the back.
It reminded him of his mother and how much he missed her.
Naruto picked up the poorly treated flowers and decided he'd place them in a vase. If he had one, of course. He never really found a need for one seeing as he never received flowers at any point in his life. Naruto sighed and settled on putting them in a rather large cup full of water. He seemed to be settling for a lot of things now-a-days.
He didn't mind though, he was only a dead-last, after all.
Naruto decided he'd go to the party, only to see how Sasuke was doing. Apparently there was some big news Sakura had to tell everyone that night. Naruto cringed at the thought, it couldn't be good news for him. Maybe his nightmare was coming true. He pushed the thought away, stepping outside with a big smile on his face.
Naruto didn't want to go, but he had to make sure the bastard was happy.
Naruto greeted many people as he passed them before walking into Ino's flower shop. He looked for pale blonde hair before giving her his best smile and waving at her happily. Ino walked over quickly, excusing herself from one of her costumers and greeting Naruto. Naruto made sure his smile was wide and he scratched the back of his head.
He wondered if anyone realized how much agony he was in.
Naruto asked Ino to give him her best bouquet for friendship because he wasn't certain what Sakura actually wanted since he didn't know the big news. Ino giggled and told him that it was the best news she's heard in a long time. That made Naruto feel queasy, but he made sure not to show it. He accepted the flowers and walked out, another wide smile on his face.
Naruto wanted to scream in pain and frustration, but decided that'd scare a lot of people.
Walking like he didn't have a care in the world, Naruto strolled through the village. He wondered if he absolutely had to go to the gathering tonight. Then again, the instructions to come were in bold letters that were laced with a threat if he decided not to show. Naruto stopped when he noticed black hair shaped like a ducks butt.
Naruto wouldn't admit his heart fluttered before it clenched the moment he spotted Sakura's pink hair.
Calloused hands tightened around the flowers as he saw the small smile Sasuke gave her. He put a fist in his hair and gave it a yank, trying to settle the awful feeling in his stomach. Forcing the smile back on his face, he watched the two from a distance. Sasuke was pointing to something in the old jewelry shop, and seemed to be asking Sakura a question. Naruto turned around when he saw how happy the two looked.
He decided he'd drop the flowers off at Sakura's doorstep, after all, he saw that Sasuke was happy.
Naruto left a note with the flowers, explaining that he had a last minute mission and wouldn't be able to make it. He hesitated before running off, jumping on top of buildings. His feet slipped when he saw a blurred version of Sasuke pass in his peripheral. Regaining balance, he pushed forward and jumped to the next building.
A choked sob fell from his lips before he stumbled out of the village and continued running.
Plans formed one after another in Naruto's head as he ran through the Hidden Leaf forest. He decided on the most logical plan at the moment. Kabuto was still out there, still posing a threat. Naruto would eliminate him...
And maybe even eliminate himself, too.
Traveler after traveler, Naruto had gathered enough information to track down Kabuto. Blue eyes looked up to the setting sun and he knew he had a limited time before a search team was sent for him. Tsunade would show up to the gathering and when Sakura would ask why she sent him on a mission, Hell would break loose.
Naruto was a good weapon in war, after all.
The gathering started in an hour, if Naruto got the time from the sky correct. He put more chakra in his steps, pushing himself to run faster. No one could interfere with his plan, he needed to distance himself from the village as fast as possible. He knew exactly where he was going, zoning out and letting his feet carry him there.
It took a snake lunging at his face to break him out of thoughts of Sasuke.
Kabuto stood before him, pushing round glasses up. Naruto's fists clenched and he stopped where he was, mentally preparing himself. He switched to Kyuubi mode, ready to take on the elder. Naruto wanted this to go quickly, so he struck first, allowing his regular fist to connect with cold skin.
Kurama decided he'd lived long enough and wanted the kit to not be in agony anymore.
Naruto purposely took the attack from the reanimated Shikaku, receiving a deep gash along his chest. Both Kabuto and Naruto were panting heavy, blood covering both. Naruto's chakra was still strong, though he personally felt weak. He could tell Kabuto was almost out of chakra.
Naruto was lying if he said he was glad it wasn't Sasuke killing him.
The two clashed one last time, Naruto's explosive kunai lodging deep into Kabuto's chest while the reanimated Neji and Shikaku attacked Naruto one last time. The battle field was silent moments after the kunai exploded. Naruto stared up at the sky, realizing the gathering started over an hour ago. Naruto could've easily dodged Kabuto's last attack.
He wondered what Sasuke was doing now.
Naruto blinked when a big, fat rain drop hit him on the nose. Many more followed and each one hurt a little more. Forcing himself up, he walked towards Kabuto and checked for a pulse before letting out a sigh of relief. Blond hair stuck to scarred cheeks and Naruto fell to the ground beside Kabuto.
Naruto wished he seen Sasuke the moment before he died.
His face was numb and that was why it didn't hurt when it struck the ground like a piece of cement. His fingers were cold and he felt awkward laying on Kabuto's arm. Naruto tried shifting but couldn't find the will power to do it. A liquid seemed to flow from Naruto's mouth and he knew the coppery taste well.
Kurama was silently curled in a ball, eyes forced shut.
Naruto could feel a single familiar chakra signature as his vision blurred in and out. Gasping breaths fell from his bloody lips and each one filled his lungs with more blood. Naruto felt like he was drowning and just wanted it to be over with.
Naruto wondered if he was selfish for doing this to Kurama.
Distorted words filled failing ears and Naruto slowly blinked. That sounded a lot like Sasuke. But, maybe he finally passed over and was regaining consciousness in a different dimension. Naruto thought that idea was cool, though he wouldn't still be in this much pain if that had actually happened.
Maybe he was having those memory flashes like he heard in legends.
His body felt really heavy and he just wanted to get off of Kabuto's arm. Naruto's breath left him as he was lifted off of the arm. He began choking, trying to force air into his blood filled lungs. It was a waste of effort and he felt himself being moved around. His vision was almost completely gone.
He must've been having his last wish because his vision came back and he was staring into deep onyx eyes.
A gurgling sound left Naruto's lips along with a large amount of blood. He watched as pain and distress ran through eyes that he'd come to love. Naruto forced himself to lift his arm, regardless that it felt like he was lifting a boulder. Naruto wondered if he slapped Sasuke when he placed his hand on his cheek. Blond eyebrows scrunched in confusion as he tried to make out the words being said to him.
Naruto felt like fire was licking every inch of his body, but his lungs the most.
Sasuke tried in vain to lift Naruto's head and help him stop choking. Another chakra signature appeared and Naruto decided he didn't want to see anyone else's face. He let himself succumb to the darkness, letting the fire take over. He could barely make out Sasuke telling him to stay awake and not to be such a dobe.
Naruto decided he wouldn't make Sasuke happy just this once.
Blue eyes snapped open and Naruto wondered just where he was. Everything seemed a bit too bright and why was everything so bumpy? Tsunade came into view over him and Naruto died a little more inside. In one last attempt, Naruto removed the mask over his mouth with a heavy hand.
Naruto would admit that he yelled for Sasuke seconds after he removed the mask.
When the mask was forced back on, Naruto tried so hard to fight back. He didn't care how much his muscles screamed and how much the others tried to force him down. Black hair entered his vision and he reached out quickly, gripping hard on pale shoulders. Sasuke looked scared and his hands grabbed Naruto's wrist.
He decided he'd tell the bastard how he felt.
Naruto took in pained gasps and dug blunt nails into Sasuke's shoulders. He wanted this to end, dammit. He didn't want to be in pain anymore. They continued wheeling the bed, Sasuke running along side and putting the mask back on the gasping blond. Naruto took it off immediately and repeated over and over how much he loved Sasuke and that the bastard should be happy.
The hourglass on Naruto's wall stopped turning seconds later. It was only a gift, after all.
