MetalGearSolid3

The Joyful Recruitment

" Next! " The feet of The Boss playfully danced with boredom after hours of rejection for the recruitment of her new team, The Cobras. " Hi, and what's your name? " A nervously sweat covered man walked up onto the stage. " Hi, my name's Johnny. Nice to meet ya. " He gave a weak laugh. " I just had a baby boy! Johnny Jr. " The Boss switched elbows to lean on and gave a bored expression. " And what emotion do you bring to the battlefield, Johnny? " The man cleared his throat. " Energy! " He shouted, as he dropped to the ground and started madly doing pushups. The Boss raised her eyebrow in amusement as she watched. " I am, The Energy! " he screamed. Johnny sprang up as he started to fly himself into a star jump routine. Suddenly he froze. " Oouugh. " Johnny's eye's burst open as he clutched his buttocks. " I gotta go… " An emotional fart exploded from the small man as he ran off to find the nearest bathroom. The Boss, with her eyebrow still flying high, watched him as he desperately ran off. " More like The Diarrhea… " She whispered under her breath as he sprinted out of her sight.

" Next! " A small woman with a large pack on her back entered the grass clearing infront of the nesting helicopter behind a line of jungle thick. " Hi, and what's your name? " The Boss sounded emotionally. An enthusiastic voice introduced herself. " I am the parachuting wonder! " A curious high pitched sound voiced itself as a blue question mark appeared momentarily above the head of The Boss. " And what emotion do you bring to the battlefield? " " Relief, to all my patients. I'm a Para-Medic, you see? " Curious eyelids blinked twice. " Para…Med..ic? " " Yeah, I thought of the idea. " The Boss sat upright in curiosity. " I got the idea from a movie. " The Boss watched in silence. " Did you ever of The… " The Boss' s attention wandered as The Parachuting Wonder rambled on about some ridiculous story that made no sense. " So, did you ever see it? " The Boss bought attention back to her surroundings. " What's that? " The Parachuting Wonder appeared annoyed. " I said, did you ever SEE it? " " Huh? Oh, huh, yeah, sure. " " So anyway, what I do is fly in and tend to your sick! " " I'm sorry, but this is an offensive team, not a defensive. " The Parachuting Wonder looked disappointed. " Why don't you try FOXHOUND? They could use a smart and intelligent young woman like yourself. " Looking pleased with herself, The Parachuting Wonder walked off. " Okay, thanks. "

After a quarter of an hour of peace and silence, The Boss became alerted as a conspicuous small thunder storm cracked in the middle of the air directly in front of her, the electricity dancing like playful pixies. Kneeling before her lay a masculine woman, fine blonde hair falling over her face. As she picked herself up, looking dazzled and confused, The Boss then realized the mistake she had made. This woman was actually a man. Hesitating, she asked. " Wh.. What emotion do you bring to the battlefield? " Looking at her as if she was some kind of loon, the feminine man announced his desire. " Snake. Where is Snake? " He inquired." I can't let him be the main character in MGS4! " The Boss replied to the shout. " Snake? Who's Snake? " The man pointed directly behind her, his eyes burning with raging intent. As The Boss snaked her vision around, all she saw was her newest student. She uncoiled her neck towards the man. " Jack? What do you want with- " Before she could finish, she heard the distant echoes of the man as he became engulfed in electricity. The Boss turned to face Snake. " Do you know him, Jack? " The Boss's newest student returned the look and gave a confused shrug. "