So…I know I made up with the Team…but honestly I can't help but still be pissed. I mean, they lied to me. And it wasn't a little white lie either. She was dead. For seven months She Was Dead. Period. We carried her coffin. We buried her and our memories of her. I grieved for her life lost; I never expected to hear her voice, to see a smile light up her face. We buried her in the ground, and with more pain and anguish then you could ever imagine…I buried her in my heart.

I was never going to tell anyone but…it slipped when Jennifer made that comment…I almost fell back into my bad habit. Those seven months, 28 weeks, 196 days, 4,704 hours, 282,240 minutes…were some of the darkest moments in my life, and seeing as how I was a 12-year-old genius in a Las Vegas public high school, my dad left mom and me because she was schizophrenic and I was a genius…well, that's saying something. It took all my will power not to go out and buy that crap. Knowing what I know now, I'm so glad I didn't. It wasn't worth it. Hell, she wasn't worth it. And that Jennifer could even pretend to think that it was because of something as shallow as my profiling skills after ten weeks of me crying at her house, me being her son's Godfather or no, she isn't worth it either. And if they aren't worth it no one is. So never again. I will never fall back into that, so help me God.

But Prentiss was dead. And then, in a second, she wasn't. When I saw her standing there in the doorway I was shocked. Like can't even conjure up emotions, shocked. I'm sure if she had been a minute later I would have stormed out of that room never to enter it again. I would have moved back to Nevada and cut all communication with them…okay maybe not Nevada, but I sure as hell wasn't going to stay with liars and death-fakers. But she was there and I was shocked and that in and of itself gave me the time I needed to think things through a little further. I was pissed and angry, stuck in disbelief. She hugged me and I just stood there, shocked. That JJ-Jennifer, knew that she lived, that she could sit there and console me while all the while thinking-knowing that Prentiss wasn't really dead, that she was still walking and breathing on this earth, that she could hold me as I broke to pieces in front of her-God Damn! It pisses me off more then Prentiss faking her death, and that pissed me off a lot.

I suppose I should be thankful, 'you never know what you have till it's gone' and all that…but honestly, you never get it back. Things will never be the same. How can I trust her? Or JJ? Or Hotch? The simple answer-I can't. I mean I already have trust issues, my team is supposed to help with it, not make it worse. Trust has to be earned, but once it's broken not even eternity can put it back together. So I'll pretend like I trust them, that everything's back to normal, but there will always be that lingering doubt…are they really telling me the truth?

Spencer Reid

An:/Kinda short but I'm super content with it. Lemme know what you think.

Was it just me or did Reid say something about 'dealing with his mom' at the beginning of the episode, and then they never cleared it up? I wanted to put something about that in here, but I can't say she's dead without knowing for sure. I'm certain he wouldn't use her as an excuse for his behavior without there being some truth behind it…and yet they never said…I guess we'll just have to see if it's another dead-end story line for our favorite genius or if they're finally taking his character development somewhere.

Did anyone else notice Reid's progression to causal dress throughout the episode? Button up shirt, tie and sweater vest, to button up shirt and tie, to t-shirt and blazer. Granted the last one was at the "cooking class", but STILL! I just about died when I saw it. XD

Till next time,

YR