Summary: Just a bit of interaction in the TARDIS between Jack, the Doctor and Rose. The Doctor was in Rose's room last night and Jack gets the wrong idea. Kind of NinexRoseish, if you read it squinting and standing on your head. Written in about 10 minutes, so I apologise for the crappness.
Disclaimer: I wish.
"So, what's going on with the two of you?" Jack was sitting backwards on a breakfast stool in the TARDIS kitchen, munching on an apple and sprawling himself out across the worktop, much to the Doctor's annoyance.
Said Doctor refused to look up from the wire he was currently sonic-screwdrivering. "Do you always take up so much space?"
Jack tutted. "Avoidance! De Nile is not just a river in Egypt, Doc." This time, he didn't even reply. "Did anyone ever tell you that you're pretty darn rude when you wanna be?"
"Did anyone ever tell you that you're pretty darn annoying, all the time?"
"Ooh, catty." The Doctor waited for some kind of 'buy me a drink' comeback, but he didn't get one. Upon reflection, he decided it would have been infinitely better than what came out of Jack's mouth next. "Not that Rose minds, really."
"What?" That got his attention. The sonic screwdriver lay abandoned on the worktop and the Doctor actually looked up. Jack noted this and grinned.
"Doesn't mind your rudeness, or your cattiness, considering she let you hang out in her bed for most of last night."
"Jack –" The Doctor said warningly, eyes flashing, picking up the screwdriver again, but Rose cut him off herself, wandering into the kitchen yawning and still in her pyjamas. The screwdriver lay forgotten once more, this time on the floor-tiles.
She stifled another yawn. "Mmph, this sounds interestin'! Who was in whose bed, then?"
"Don't pull the innocent eyes on me! He," Jack said, waving a hand at the Doctor lazily, "was in your bed last night, as you well know, Smarty-Pants." The hand was now pointing accusingly at Rose, who simply yawned again and shuffled across the kitchen in the general direction of the kettle. "And I'm not pretending I didn't notice the movements under that duvet, so neither should you."
"Shut up, Jack. It's too early in the morning for – wait, you were where?" She span round to face the Doctor, her own hair hitting her in the mouth. He responded by sighing heavily and folding his arms. It took a very conscious effort to not roll his eyes at Jack's barely-stifled giggles.
"I don't know what you're laughing about, Jacky-boy. It's not like you weren't trying to worm your way in there last night, or any other night, at that."
"Excuse me Doctor, but I think you'll find that my intentions were perfectly honourable and you are simply suffering from a bad case of – "
But Rose cut across him. "I think you'll find that Rose wants to know what was goin' on in her bed last night while she was asleep!" Her emphasis on the last word made the Doctor feel a little guilty, and it obviously showed, because Jack was soon crowing over him again ("Captain Envy!"). He ignored him and addressed Rose instead.
"You were fussing," He finally answered, making her scowl at the use of a word implying she was a baby. He tried again. "You had a bad dream. You screamed so I came in to make sure you weren't being attacked by marauding visi-goths, bananas in pyjamas, whatever it happens to be this week."
"And?" Jack prompted, grinning.
"And I sat on the end of your bed until you starting sleeping properly. That is all." And it was, but the Doctor frowned at Jack to shut him up all the same. Jack had something of a penchant for innuendo, and this situation, in his eyes, was obviously crying out for it.
"Oh. Ok."
Rose turned away to the kettle, the slight pinkish tinge to her cheeks her only betrayal. Other than that, one would have suspected she had no interest in whether or not the Doctor cared enough to stay up watching her.
"That's it?" Jack asked incredulously, actually sitting up straight on the stool in his mock-rage.
"Yeah. Sugar in your tea, Doctor?" Rose asked nonchalantly as she stirred her own.
"He's sweet enough already," Jack muttered, mutinously.
The Doctor's ears seemed to bristle with his indignation. "Hey, you stole my line!"
"Yeah, yeah." Jack rolled his own eyes.
"It's ain't as though we haven't heard it before," Rose pointed out fairly, also pointing the teaspoon at him for good measure. He pouted and Jack followed suit, though for an entirely different reason.
"Are ya stealing his facial expressions, too?" She giggled.
Making his own frown even deeper, the Doctor bit back at her with an insistence of: "I do not pull a face anything like that, thank you very much!"
Jack waved a hand impatiently. "Aren't you even the tiniest bit mad, Rose?" He sighed and carried on when her bemused look told him she didn't have the slightest clue what he was wittering on about. "Whenever I summon up the courage and audacity to make a little midnight wander into your room, I get a shoe thrown at me!" The Doctor tried very, very hard not to laugh. "Aw, c'mon Rosie. He was hanging around in your bed and he didn't tell you! Aren't you even going to poke him?"
"No." She said simply, now sitting at the table and placing a mug of tea in front of each of them.
"Then why do I get shoes?" He demanded, pretending to be hurt.
"There are three reasons for that, Jack," Rose began evenly, looking him straight in the eye as she counted off each reason on her fingers. Number one: You are much more of a shoe man than the Doctor is. He would not appreciate how angry I would have to be to throw my sandals, for instance." Jack nodded; this was certainly true. "Number two: You're a pervert and your intentions when entering my room would never, ever be honourable. And number three: You also have the audacity to call me Rosie on a regular basis."
The Doctor grinned, shooting Jack a 'you got told!' look. "I've taught you well!" Rose nodded proudly. Jack looked from one to the other, bemused.
"What is going on with you two?"
"Nothing!" They chorused innocently, Rose smirking into her coffee at their simultaneous reactions and the Doctor tapping his foot impatiently, waiting for this conversation to be over.
"Oh, come on! You two have a total thing. I know it."
"It's just your imagination," They both insisted, this time both of them staring at their choice of words and timing.
Jack looked from one to the other, grinning. "I told you so!"
