Author's Note- I AM ON A ROLL PEOPLE! I always like to think Amber has some kind of twisted past so here's my theory and how she expresses her pain...
Disclaimer- I don't own HoA or Paramore
Amber's POV
I'm so SICK of pretending to be something I'm not! I'm not happy all the time. I'm not a girly girl. And pink is most certainly not my favorite color! It's all a mask. To protect my secrets and insecurities.
My name is Amber Marie Millington and I am a recovering self harmer.
Don't judge please. It's really not my fault. It started when my mom left. I was 13 when she decided she'd "had enough". She left me with my father and never looked back. Back then my hair was brown. Normal perfect brown. Then my dad remarried.
Pamela. That was her name and she was the queen of the bitches. She was always putting me down and I tried for so hard to make her proud. She is the reason I am the way I am. Slowly my hair went from brown to brown with purple streaks to jet black. I pierced my lip and my nose. I started dressing differently. I still hadn't begun cutting though.
That started at school. I was walking down the hall when a boy started screaming at me.
"Who do you think you are?" He had said. '"Lady freakin gaga?"
I was confused until he threw out:
"You must love her she worships the devil like you"
I ran. Ran to the last stall of the bathroom and cried. He was judging me because of how I looked. I was checking my makeup when I noticed a piece of metal sticking out from my hairclip. It started there.
So now I stand before a group of my peers. My hair black. My scars uncovered. My piercings in place. This is me and if they don't like it screw them. I grabbed the microphone in front of me and began singing the song that described my life.
I settled down
A twisted up frown
Disguised as a smile, well
You would have never known
I had it all but not what i wanted
'cause hope for me was a place uncharted
And overgrown
You make your way in
I resist you just like this
You can't tell me to feel
The truth never set me free
So i did it myself
You can't be too careful anymore
When all that is waiting for you
Won't come any closer
You've got to reach a little more,more,more,more,more
Open your eyes like i opened mine
It's only the real world
A life you will never know
Shifting your weight to throw off the pain
Well you can ignore it
But only for so long
You look like i did
You resist me just like this
You can't tell me to heal
And it hurts remembering how it felt to shut down
You can't be too careful anymore
When all that is waiting for you
Won't come any closer
You've got to reach a little more,
more
more
more,more
The truth never set me free
The truth never set me free
The truth never set me free
So i'll do it myself
You can't be too careful anymore
When all that is waiting for you
Won't come any closer
You've got to reach out
You can't be too careful anymore
When all that is waiting for you
Won't come any closer
You've got to reach out more
More More
More, more
The shock was priceless. I walked off stage and into the night air. I was leaving Anubis. Leaving and never turning back. I got into the car jam packed with my stuff and drove away. Away to a better life. That was five years ago. And I still haven't looked back.
Hi. My name is Amber Marie Millington. And although I struggled I overcame my addiction to self harming.
A/N I'm not sure how much I like this. I like the end but the beginning the parts about her past seem all over the place to me. As does the time frame. Oh well it's just a random blurb.
