A Day in the Life of Agrajag
By
Nesia Xavier Voldermort
DISCLAIMER: I do not own the HHG and or any other related materials. If I did I would have a lot more money, even though money can't buy happiness, but it does buy food water shelter, and clothes.
AND NOW THE STORY:
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3:30 AM - Awake from nightmare in which Arthur Dent kills me as a gnat again.
3:34 AM - After nervously sitting in bed go throw a dart in a picture of Arthur to feel better.
3:37 AM - Go back to bed.
7:00 AM - Wake up to alarm from dream of Arthur Dent being blown up by a time bomb.
7:05 AM - Eat breakfast but interrupted by a phone call.
7:06 AM - Pick up phone to find that my request for a new reincarnation has been approved and to come right now.
7:07 AM - Staircase appears, I walk up it.
7:09 AM - Meet God's secretary, tells me I'll be coming back as a bacterium.
7:11 AM - I enter The Reincarnating Machine™.
8:11 AM - Exit the Reincarnation Machine™ and find myself on a hand.
8:13 AM to 8:33 AM - Wander around, engulf other bacterium etcetera.
8:34 AM to 8:37 - Leave my DNA in a cell.
8:38 AM - Split in half several times and think about infesting Arthur Dent.
8:39 AM - Imagine Arthur Dent falling over dead, from me infecting him.
8:41 AM - I am suddenly swept away by an immense amount of soapy warm water. In my final moments look up to see a crookedly smiling Arthur Dent, yes yet another Dent ended adventure.
8:42 AM - I find myself on the all to familiar death registration line. I am in that weird bats like body again.
8:43 AM - I fill out the forms. [Reason of death: Arthur Dent.] Damn him...
8:44 AM to 9:44 AM - Wait on line and try to think of a way to kill him. Maybe I'll hire an assassin..... No, then I'd miss out on all the fun. It is easy though, hmm.....
9:45 AM - I look at the figure in front of me, he looks like Arthur. "Dent?!" I cried.
9:46 AM - Figure turns around, its a car. It replied, "No engine died."
9:47 AM to 9:57 AM - The car is registered.
9:58 AM to 10:08 AM - The personnel registers me. Then I start on my way home.
10:10 AM - Find a Tele-Spirit™. Hop in and I am Tele-Spirited home.
10:11 AM - Look in my agenda book to find to day is the 3-year anniversary of the first time Arthur Dent killed me. Three miserable, Dent filled Dent ended years.
10:12 AM to 11:00AM - Go visit the ruins of my Cathedral of Hate. I remembered how much work, effort and time I put into that cathedral. And then bloody Arthur dent blew it to bits! That bloody bastard.'
11:01 AM to 11:31 AM - Eat lunch , had tea with it.
11:32 AM - Get the mail, mostly bills and junk except for my subscription to The Weekly Vengeance.
11:33 AM to 11:42 AM - Pay bills.
11:42 AM to 12:32 PM - Read the Weekly Vengeance, special article on poisons. It was really intriguing. Maybe I could use one on Dent...
12:33 PM to 1:03 PM - Practice evil laugh in mirror.
1:04 PM to 1:30 PM - Watch Ripley's Believe it our not to see if they mention, most times being reincarnated.
1:31 PM to 3:00 PM - Work on my novel Through Many Eyes One Fear: A Spiritual reincarnation story.
3:01 PM to 3:330 - have tea.
3:31 PM - Go online to try to find weaponry, some how find a story page.
3:32 PM to 3:42 PM - Read some of the strange stories only to discover my endeavors and others of my rival Dent and his friends. Website is called 'fanfiction.net'.
3:43 PM to 4:43 PM - Explore more of this strange website. I have learned of some man, Douglas Adams. He sounds like some sort of god, every one said he was a master creator. But he's dead so how could he be a god?
4:44 PM to 7:00 PM - Make plot to kill Dent. Then go to bed.
THE END
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