Author notes - weee! Im back! This is my first venture into the Neon Genesis Evangelion section of ff.net,so be gentle! Extra notes- PLEASE don't read this if you depress easily! And also,credit to my buddy Shikyo for helping me ARIGATO GOZAIMASU!!! :D onto the fic!!


Enigma
by:Asuka Shikuze



I found myself seeking respect through the EVA units,and salvage what is left of a broken world,of course,life has given me so little,I found nothing. It is an enigma,life gave me so little,yet to much was taken away from me.

Although,to see a brief shine of light,who I call Kaworu...he did give me one thing to live for. Kaworu helped me to unravel this enigma known as life...But sadly,I did not come to the conclusion I had hoped for. My conclusion was simply....nothing. There is nothing for any of us to live for, or so I found out through my own experience.

Following the thread of this enigma of life brings me to Asuka Langley Soryu..the loathe of my life. If only she weren't a girl...or is she? That flat chest of hers,boasting about nothing...if only I had more will,then I'd make her life hell. Just as she did mine. Such a degrading way to be named,Third Child - a number,like the Holocaust I read about once in school....while I still bothered to learn anything. Weren't we about to be decimated like them too? It doesn't matter much to me if they keep me company while I'm dead. I was alone in life,I'll be alone in the afterlife. Asuka, as much as you would love to sing praises to whatever higher powers there are out there, let me die in peace.

On my little traverse, I come to my father.Parenthood, the joy which I'll never experience. But from the way my treats it,it must be some boring chore...nothing worth putting time into. Nurturing a human life,how hard could it be? A few kind reprimands, just being there....must be tough for a man with no emotion. After all,why have a child when all you wanted was a wife? I cannot say good-bye to my father when I have never greeted him. Others think of him as a highly respectful person,so respectful...he saves a clone and not his own son from the torments of hell he has bestowed upon me...

So now I leave you,whoever reads this noteyou may think I am simply running and hiding from my problems. But I cannot run from problems that were never entirely mine. All these angel attacks...they weren't just my problem,they were all humanity's. Laying your hope on a 14 year old child who hasnt learned the ways of the world..Who is really running away? Humanity never had hopes...neither did I...maybe thats the one connection between me and the world. Too bad it ends now.

I'll say it now...humanity is nearing its end..If I were an angel,I'd personally want to greet it(or lead it there)

Sayonara itsu made mo,

Shinji Ikari