A/N: I got a story idea but I am not sure it's any good. I only have had one review on my last story but I am still writing chapters because I have enjoyed writing it even if it's not that good. I know i am not the best writer but I think I will get better over time so if you read my story's please review and let me no what you think I would greatly appreciate all the advice I can get. Compliments help to. Because this is just an idea I had I might not finish it or I might just rewrite it but I thought I would post it to see what you all think.
I have decided to have the name of songs for my chapters so this one is More than Words by Extreme.
More Than Words
BPOV
Here I was sitting in front of the three dollar anniversary card I bought at Hallmark. I had my pen in my hand but every time I brought it down to the paper I could not for the life of me come up with something to write. You would think with me being a writer of the best selling romance novels of the year I would be able to write a few sweet loving sentences for my husband. I wanted to write something nice to let him know that still after five years he was my everything and I still loved him very much. Truth was with everything that has been going on with us I could not lie to him. I still loved him but I did not know if I was still in love with him anymore or if he was in love with me.
I moved to Forks my senior year of high school after my mother remarried. I felt like I was intruding on her new life so I decided to spend some time with my father. It was only going to be a year and than I could move to Seattle for collage.
I met Edward the first day of school in biology class, he was the most gorgeous guy I had ever seen, still is, but anyways after talking for a bit he asked for my number. He called that same night and we talked for hours, we actually talked until the sun came up. When I got to school the next day Edward was waiting for me. As soon as I stepped out of the car he grabbed my bag from me and took my hand "You ready to go?" he asked me. I was so stunned by his actions that I just nodded my head up and down.
After that day we were inseparable. We never talked about what we were to each other, it was always just assumed that I was his and he was mine. On graduation night Edward confessed his love and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. I of course wanted the same, I really did love Edward with all my heart, he was my first everything.
That summer we eloped to Vegas. The only people there were my best friend Alice, her boyfriend Jasper, Edward brothers Emmett and his girlfriend Rosalie. We kept it a secret from are parents out of fear of what they would say about us getting hitched so young. We kept it from everyone for about a year, we would have kept it a secret longer but Emmett and his big mouth had to blurt it out one night at Sunday dinner. His parents were actually happy that we were married, ecstatic is more like it, they were just disappointed that we felt like we had to keep it a from them. When I told Charlie he felt the same way. Him and Edward got along great from the beginning so he was actually glad it was Edward and not someone he did not approve of.
I had never been more happy than those first few years of are marriage. Edward was a total sweetheart, he would bring my flowers at least once a week, he was always doing little things to let me know how much he loved me, like text me little flirty pick up lines or making me breakfast in bed and not to mention how much of a gentlemen he was when he would pull out my chair or open my door, but the thing I loved most was how he was always touching me, not in a sexual way, although that was more than words, I mean in a romantic 'I don't ever want to let you go' sort of way. Like whenever we were walking somewhere he would have his hand at the small of my back or how he would play with my fingers when we would hold hands.
In the third year of are marriage we were at are ultimate high, I did not think we could get anymore happier and I was more right than I knew. That same year, a few months after my twenty first birthday, my first book was published. When they saw the numbers that it was drawing in they asked me if I wanted to go on tour. I wanted it so bad but I could not fathom leaving Edward when we were doing so well, I did not want to be away from him for long periods of time. He told me that if I did not take the opportunity I would regret it the rest of my life. He was right. After the tour I was asked to write a sequel to the book witch I full heatedly agreed, I already had part of it written.
Edward was in his first year of med school. He had worked just as hard or harder than I had to be where we were in are lives. The only thing I regretted with the tour was not being with him every day. I missed him terribly. He was so busy with school that most of the time we would miss each others call so we mostly communicated through voice mail or emails. After awhile I got so depressed that they let me leave the tour early.
After I got home I knew things where different. I wasn't actually sure why after a few months of being apart that are whole marriage would just slowly go down hill. I thought the saying went that 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder', not with us, it was more like 'Absence makes the heart wonder'. When I was back at home Edward was so distant that I knew something was wrong, when I tried to talk to him to see what was wrong he just played it off as stress. I knew that it was more than that but I did not want to push it.
After a few weeks I was tired of him being so distant, we hadn't made love sense before I left on tour the only thing I got were a few pity fucks and a few chase kiss's before we would go to bed. The words I love you became so rare that it started just being love you and than he stopped saying it all together, when I said it to him he would just give me a short 'you to' and that was it.
When I told Edward what was happening he couldn't deny that we were drifting. He told me things would get better and I really thought they would. But after another week went by he started drifting again. I decided to leave it alone for awhile. I thought maybe he would come around on his own.
He never did come around. After my next book was published I went on another tour. The whole time I was gone I was trying to get through to Edward but he would never pick up his phone so I finally gave up after awhile. I did not understand what his deal was. He was pushing me away and he didn't even care.
"Bella I'm home" Crap, Edward was home and I still had nothing on the card. I hurried and wrote the only true words I could think of
I hope you know I still love you. But I can't deny how much I miss us. Happy Anniversary
"I'm in here Edward." I called back to him sealing the envelope.
"Hey, are you writing?" I shook my head and got up to hand him the card. "What's this?" He asked. I gave him a look that said 'Hello what do you think it is' but he still looked at me clueless. Please don't let him say he forgot, I know he has been busy but I never would have thought he would forget the day we became husband and wife.
When he read the card his face went as red as a tomato, I could see the emotion behind his eyes, it looked like he was embarrassed, guilty and a little bit of anger witch I am sure was directed at him self for forgetting.
"Bella I am so sorry, I totally spaced it, I have been so stressed with school that I forgot." He apologized but I was not letting him off that easy, this was unforgivable. I was really angry and I think he could tell. "Bella I am really sorry, I will do anything, we could go to dinner or a movie." I still was angry I don't think anything he could say would help. "You know I love you, please just say something." You know I love you, how could I know that he never showed it let alone said it.
I began to feel tears in my eyes and I did not want to cry in front of Edward I wanted him to know I was really upset with him and not just for this for everything I have had to go through with out him even caring. I thought maybe tonight we could plan a trip to get are relationship back on track, he had some vacation time with school coming up and I was going to take advantage of it.
Well that was until tonight. Maybe we had nothing left that was important to him. I pushed past him so I could cry in the privacy of my bathroom like I had been doing everyday for the past few months. I don't know why I have put up with it for so long. I guess it was because I really wanted back what we had. My heart still told me I was in love with him.
"Bella come on." Edward banged on the bathroom door. "I said I was sorry what more do you want." You is what I wanted to say.
"I'm fine I am just going to jump in the shower before I go to bed." I tried to sound like I was fine with it. I knew he would leave it alone.
The rest of the night I through my self into my writing, at least I could give my characters a happy ending.
Edward past the office a few times as if he was going to say something but he never did. I went to bed after a few hours of writing. Edward was already in bed doing his school work.
"Hey." I said climbing into bed. I was always told never to go to bed angry but I didn't think that was going to happen. I didn't have anything in me left. I had already tried everything to fix are marriage. "I guess it's ok that you forgot I should have expected it with you being so busy and stuff."
"Yeah I guess." Was all he said.
"Ok, well it is still are anniversary we could still celebrate." I said in my most sexy voice but I still got nothing. He didn't even look up from his books. "Or not." I held back the tears that were threatening to spill out. Maybe he was just not attracted to me anymore. It had been a few weeks sense we have been intimate together and even than it was just a quickie so we could both get off. I was sure he would have blue balls by know unless he has been cheating. I didn't want to even think about that. It never even crossed my mind before know, I didn't think he would ever do that to me but know I was having second thoughts. So I did the only thing I could think of. I through myself at him. I closed his book and pushed it out of the way so I could climb on his lap.
"What are you doing I have a lot of studding I have to do before tomorrow ." I didn't listen, I just started kissing his neck. "Bella." He said but it wasn't a moan. "Bella really I have to study." I just climbed off his lap and under the covers on my side of the bed. I herd Edward sigh besides me, I wondered if he knew how bad he was hurting me.
"Night Bella." Edward said shutting of the lamp on his side of the bed. So much for studding.
"I thought you had to study."
"Ummm yeah well I'm actually really tired." He always made up excuses. I wished he would just tell me so I could fix it because right now I am willing to do anything to get out of this even if that means divorce. I sat up and turned the light back on I had had it.
"I can't do this anymore Edward. We are married but don't even have a marriage we barely even have a friendship the only reason we talk anymore is because we live in the same house." I was half yelling half crying but I was going to finish what I needed to say. "What happened to us Edward we were so happy. Do you not want me anymore because you sure as hell don't show it if you do. You forgot are fifth year anniversary for heavens sake, one you said that if we ever made it to would be special. Edward the only time we ever have sex is to get off and we haven't even done that in awhile are you not even attracted to me anymore?"
"Bella I have just been stressed I told you."
"That's not it and you know it. You don't even hold my hand anymore or kiss me passionately. You don't even tell me you love me." If I wasn't crying hard before I was now.
Edward pulled me into a hug and it had been so long sense I felt that spark. "Bella you have to know that I love you, I am sorry I have been so busy but I am trying to build a good life for us." I knew he was working hard but I didn't think that that meant he would have to put us aside so he could have a career. If that was it I would say screw it I'll live in a cardboard box if it means we would be together.
"Edward you shouldn't be leaving me out of your life." I looked at him "I have wan to be there for you but you won't let me in. I want you to still care about us but it seems you haven't so I think we need some time apart."
"What do you mean some time apart?"
"I mean I am going to go stay with Alice for a little while."
Edward looked shocked at what I was saying. I wasn't sure why though he had to know this was coming if things weren't going to change. "So your just going to leave." I looked at him.
"Yeah I am. I have tried the past year to get us back to what we used to be but I'm done if you want this than you are going to have to fix it."
I got up and grabbed my bag from out of the closet. Alice only lived across town and it wasn't that late I knew she would still be awake.
"Your leaving tonight?" I didn't even answer him I just left without another word.
