Lose it All

Near glances at the newspaper on the table. The headline is about some suicide case. People these days, greedy and cruel than ever but also as fragile as a piece of glass.

He notices the suicide girl's name was Misa Amane. Drown in a river on Valentine's Day.

She must've killed herself since she can't take it anymore. Being left alone in this cruel world, her so-called Prince Charming was the evilest killer ever lived. Near guessed that Misa chose to drown in a river is because she wants to die like a mermaid, like a mermaid who sacrificed for her lover. She chose to die on Valentine's Day since she wants people to know that her date of death is the last memorial of her hopeless love.

How stupid. A human being only lives for himself, not for some other person who you just happen to love or hate.

That's what Near thinks.

He remembered once there was a boy said he is cold-blood and emotionless. That's true. He doesn't want to feel anything, since he knows, through others, that feelings hurt. He remembered the look on that boy's face when Roger told them about L's death- painful and angry. He knows when that boy ran away from the orphanage, he finally cried.

But Near never cries. He knows that tears burn his heart. So he never cries, not even when he heard about L's death, not when he knew about Mello's death.

He only felt the hole in his heart. The hole which existed since the moment L died, and became larger and larger. It's a hole that ate away all his cool and strength, the things that he relied on to be emotionless and cold-blood.

The hole made of loneliness and the tenderest part in his heart.

He knows that nothing can repair the hole. Not even the pride and thrill after solving the hardest puzzle in the world. Nothing.

He knows what he lost is the most precious thing in a human being's life. And it can't be found again.

He only has a partially alive body.

Near stretches out his arm and reaches a bar of chocolate. Milk chocolate, Mello's favorite.

The chocolate is not as tasty as it looks. On the computer, the letter L glows as it did when L's alive.

That's all he needs.

Nate River, the most famous detective in the world, L's successor, solved the most horrible case in the history. He gets all the pride and glory a human can possibly get in his lifetime. He believes that he only lives for himself, since he lost all the people he will die to protect for.