Time meant absolutely nothing in the weeks and months that Katniss Everdeen spent alone, after all that happened in the Capitol. She spoke to almost no one, to be left to her own devices. Everyone in Panem knew how she was. Everyone knew that she was broken. In her mind, she searched for a possible explanation, a justification for what happened to her. She found none.

Heaven bent to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight
Truth be told I've tried my best
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than I could bear

She lived through a haze of numbness, trying to make sense of her life. In her mind, she had no one. No one who would be able to understand. No one who was there. She felt betrayed by the one whom she thought she could trust with her life, the one who may have claimed the life of her Primrose. It was a mistake to ever put such trust in him.

Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

Maybe, at one point, there was a little bit of love for him inside of her, but any proof that a spark ever existed was drowned by the painfully loud sensation of nothing. Perhaps she felt something as they hunted together back when she had a firm hold on herself. But the possibility of something so impossible was long gone, along with the lives of many.

We all begin with good intent
Love was raw and young
We believed that we could change ourselves
The past could be undone
But we carry on our backs the burden
Time always reveals
In the lonely light of morning
In the wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
That I've held so dear.

So naturally, when he turned up on her doorstep uninvited, she wanted to be angry, to lash out at him, to kill him. But she could not bring herself to desire yet another death. She didn't want the blood of another victim on her hands. She was tired.

I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

He begged for her forgiveness, though she knew not to feel as though she should give it. She was just as much of a murderer as he was, and the last thing she wanted to be was a hypocrite. He would not blame her, he said, if she did not forgive. But years of pain and suffering made her too weary for anger, and she was exhausted enough trying to hold on to what was left of her sanity. Though she could never forget, she forgave.

Heaven bend to take my hand
Nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to those I thought were friends
To everyone I know
For they turn their heads, embarrassed
Pretend that they don't see
But it's one missed step
One slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed

She did not, however, want to see him anymore. She did not want a constant reminder of what malice and violence did to a person. And so he left, not only from her house, but from her life as well. Eventually, she brought herself out of hiding, but she would never lose the memories of all that happened. She would never forget how she had fallen.

Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...