NECESSARY DISCLAIMER**** This story was originally published on 7/24/2014. I have updated it over time. For a long time, obviously.
The recent Endgame film is mentioned because of a re-write and it's reflected only in RECENT Chapters.
ALSO **** If you are here for Dr. Strange, he is mentioned throughout the fic. His actually story arc comes into play in section 8 and onward. (The Crescendo Chapters)
It has been written like a series and it ultimately follows the life of the younger Tony that you meet. I feel like I need to state that information because of the recent film being so similar to what I've been writing for years.
This story is broken up into 11 sections/novels. Each Chapter section has a different story arc connected to it and each story arc is complete.
1. No-One But You
2. Reprise Chapters
3. Cadence Chapters
4. Prelude Chapters
5. Capriccio Chapters
6. Legato Chapters
7. Finale Chapters
8. Crescendo Chapters
9. Infinito Chapters
10. Diminuendo Chapters
11. Riposa Ora (Rest Now) Chapters
****END OF NECESSARY DISCLAIMER
Chapter 1: Too much love will kill you
"He what?" Tony's eyes shot open as he heard the words that slipped from Bruce Banner's mouth. The two were down on the bottom level of the Avenger's Tower. It was also known as Tony's work space. They were eating a lukewarm pizza as Tony dissected a cybernetic leg that was found damaged during the most recent battle that had occurred.
For some reason, Tony took it upon himself to hold onto the appendage and study it. Bruce said something that interrupted his train of thought and completely threw him off balance.
"I said Steve has been acting a little differently towards you. Haven't you noticed?"
Tony blinked. He blinked again and turned away from his work. Of course he had noticed. Steve Rogers had a difficult time hiding his feelings and every damn day it became more and more obvious.
The team took notice and asked him annoying questions all the time. Tony didn't want to admit to anything tho. He just refused to respond to it. Somewhere down the line their friendship had changed. Their exchanges were ...
"You're getting a little juvenile on me Bruce. It's kiiiinda freaking me out." Tony's grin crept over his face and Bruce just gave an exhausted sigh.
"It's not juvenile. Everyone on the team has noticed it and we figured bringing it up with you would be better. I mean, you're more open about things than Steve so-"
"What is making you guys think like this? We aren't, I mean." ? Tony couldn't believe the conversation he was in.
"Well it's been little changes."
"Steve and I are friends. We weren't exactly friends before and now we are."
Like hell Tony would ever feed into that bogus conversation. He turned back to the leg that he was working on and he reached for his tool. "Maybe we're trying to help Steve out?"
"Help him how?"
"You can be icy Tony. It's hard to watch."
Tony pondered the exchange. HIM? Icy? Towards Steve?
"Wait, hold the hell up.."
WHAT WAS GOING ON?
"So, let me recap in MY native tongue. You dweebs think Captain America has the warm and fuzzies for me and you also think I'm giving him the cold shoulder and this is your attempt to help HIM?"
"Kinda, Yeah. Like I said it's painful to watch sometimes."
"Well? Cap is a big boy and we are just friends."
Tony removed a thin layer of the metal that encased the hardware with the leg. He loved the moment when the meat and potatoes of his project was revealed to him.
"Tony, sorry I even brought it up. But, if something was going on between you two it would be ok. The team would be thrilled actually. So, you don't have to be all icy toward Steve when he, uhh."
"Thanks mom." Tony cut that subject right off. Bruce laughed and crossed his arms.
He waited for an actual response to his observation. Tony wasn't engaged in any way. Nope. Tony gave up working on the cybernetic leg. He gave up entirely and told Bruce that he wanted to get some rest.
"Getting rest" was something Tony Stark would never want to do. So it probably looked odd but, whatever he had to dodge the situation.
It seemed every time Tony was alone with a fellow avenger he was being asked about Steve's affection for him. First Bruce, then a few days later he sparred with Clint. Of course halfway through their match the dreaded subject of Steve was brought up again.
"So, what's with Steve opening every door you walk through?"
"He opens doors for everyone."
"But you guys seem different." Clint went for a direct punch to Tony's face but he dropped down and the archer missed entirely. Tony would not confirm nor deny.
"You're delusional. Shut up and fight."
"Come on, you gotta admit something is going on. He's not getting as angry with you on or off the field as much anymore."
"So we see eye to eye about some stuff now. Get over it."
"I dunno Tony. We all know something is up."
Ohh great blabbermouth Barton continued. Tony stayed on one side of the ring as Clint walked to the other. This changed to a battle of words somewhat suddenly. Tony tried to bite his tongue.
"Steve's made some pretty not Steve like decisions on your account. What do you have to say about that?"
"The golden boy questions everything now and I'm to blame. That was S.H.I.E.L.D's doing. NOT ME."
"It cracks us all up how you two dip out during almost all of our movie nights. Steve will leave then two minutes later you do. Then the next night Tony leaves and OOhhhh there goes Steve a few minutes later. It's so obvious."
"It's just a coincidence."
"RIIGHTT and he even cooks for you now?!"
"I WAS HUNGRY." Tony yelled from across the sparring ring.
"You two can't be near each other without touching or something. It's so obvious."
"SHUT UP."
"It's ok Tony, We just want you to notice a little, or admit it." Clint tossed his hands up as if he was over this conversation.
Tony could feel his heart as it beat rapidly in his chest and it started to annoy him. He didn't even want to say "that's none of your business" because in Tony's mind that would make it worse.
"The truth shall set you free Tony!"
The entire topic annoyed the hell out of Tony. He decided not to even grace that accusation with a response. Well, actually he replied to the archer with a physical sass.
He sucker punched Clint when the guy went to go for his water. The glove was off too. Tony just wasn't in the mood for shit like that. The next day he got a strange call from Natasha Romanov.
"Stark, I was just wondering if you've sent the specs that we need for the new helli-carrier to Fury yet."
Her voice was direct and a bit unnerving. Tony thought about the question for a minute.
"Uhh no. I'll get to it eventually. You calling me is odd why didn't he just bitch at me about it himself."
"Ok I lied."
"You lied?"
"Has Steve asked you out yet? I thought you two would be married by now. It's become legal in a lot more states now you know." UM? Tony almost glared. He almost did but he controlled himself. These people. What was their deal?
"Wow! I didn't peg you as the lovey-dovey type that gave a crap about something like tha-"
"So there is something. Is that what you're saying?" She whipped out the response with no effort whatsoever.
"I'm not saying shit. Steve and I are FRIENDS. Fuck off." Tony ended the call and he tossed whatever it was that he had in his hand. Tch ANNOYED. Even Pepper betrayed him with the questions. He was in his suit. He flew through Malibu and he got a video call from her.
"Tony are you busy?"
"Not really, I'm just out and about. Why what's up?"
"Steve was just here, asking for you!" Tony's hesitation was immediate. OK! who got to Pepper and why?
"He was asking for me?"
"Yes. He was asking for you. Is that becoming a normal,thing? between the two of you?" Tony didn't buy it.
"Why didn't he just ask for me by asking me, why make you the middleman." That made zero sense. Steve Rogers never operated like that.
"Well, maybe he wanted to surprise you with lunch? DO you two have lunch together now?" She was beyond obvious to Tony at that point. He sighed a very sad sad sigh.
"Who put you up to this? Because, all of you have been asking me really stupid questions about Steve."
"Are you two dating? because there may or may not be a bet going.."
"Pep, I gotta go. I just got extremely busy." He ended all communications that could possibly reach his suit. WHAT WAS WITH THESE PEOPLE? It didn't end there. Exactly three days later Tony was in the common room. He made himself a second cup of coffee and Thor approached.
"Anthony! how wonderful to see you."
"Likewise Sebastian Bach. Yeah Give 'Em Hell." Tony snickered to himself because he knew that Thor had no clue what he meant.
He took a sip of his coffee and he closed his eyes. The warm sensation crawled down to his stomach. The coffee warmed him from head to toe. Tony pressed the warmth against his forehead and sighed.
He was exhausted. He stayed up too late doing, things. And he woke up too early. His routine (if you could call it routine) was all off now. He wasn't sure if he was usually awake at that hour or not.
"Right. Indeed. Well have you seen our noble captain this morning?" Thor asked as Tony kept his eyes closed.
Great. A fucking question about Steve.
Maybe Thor was asking just to ask? Tony didn't consider him in the same boat as the others when it came to this whole Steve "thing". Right? Thor was on a totally different level than the others.
"What time is it Thor?" He asked as the colossal blonde checked for the time on the microwave.
"It is almost 6 am Anthony."
"Right. So, why would I have seen Steve this early in the morning? Are you assuming I just uhh WOKE UP beside him or something?" Tony grit his teeth a bit. He was tired of this.
"Well, you are seeing me this early in the morning too are you not?"
Tony took a moment to process. He stared at Thor and held onto his mug. For some reason it felt like he was being conned. Tony glanced over to his right and then he pressed the beige ceramic mug up against his cheek for warmth.
His stare was blank and he thought about his response. Also, in the corner of his eye he saw a figure of some sort. Nope just a shadow. He was tired and in a bad mood because everyone had managed to get on his last nerve. And Tony felt that way for other reasons but Tony kept that info to himself.
He rubbed his eye and the figure he saw disappeared. Oh, and Thor was right. He saw him that early in the morning so yeah he could have seen Steve. An acceptable response would be to say that YES he did see Steve. And Thor was deemed safe in Tony's opinion so...
Saaa but still Tony felt uneasy about it. He thought that he felt sick or something. No, he was just exhausted from the whirlpool of stuff he'd recently gotten himself into. Tony was at a cross between giving the guy an answer or just blowing him off completely. He was so lost in his head and Thor's voice brought him out of it.
"The captain asked to speak to me yesterday but I didn't make the time. I feel bad and now I'm afraid I've missed him again."
Oh. Tony scratched at the side of his head and he looked over his shoulder. Thor looked bummed and it made Tony feel bummed. Plus no one else was around so..
"He's. Steve's on a run."
"Really? I didn't see him leave when did he go? It's very important I see him."
"He left about an hour ago I'd say. I'm not sure when exactly and he didn't say when he'd be back."
Tony shrugged his shoulders when he responded and sipped his coffee again. When he realized what he said his jaw dropped open. Thor had a huge grin on his face. A mischievous, conniving, sinister grin stamped on his face.
"You did wake up beside the captain this morning didn't you metal man?"
Tony choked up instantly and turned away. Holy shit! His face caught on fire and he marched out of the room. Get out of there Tony. Get out of there Tony. Get out of there Tony. Get out of there Tony. Get out of there Tony.
He repeated in his head over and over as he pressed on the elevator button a hundred million times. Shit. Shit Shit. Shit Shit shitshitshit SHITTT Thor walked up behind him and the stupid elevator took forever.
"Are you alright Anthony? You seem a bit flustered." Thor said with that villainous tone. Tony pressed the button a hundred million more times and he cleared his throat.
"Uh yeah I'm fine! JUST..uh." He glared up at the numbers that indicated the floor the elevator was on.
"Are you flustered because you've become involved with someone? Maybe you woke up next to someone new that we all happen to know?"
Tony tuned him out. He would NOT confirm NOR deny anything to any of them.
"It's not a big deal metal man. You've been so stressed out over it. Just embrace it." Thor gave him a smile.
Tony's body actually trembled. What the fuck? seriously. Tony blamed the coffee. He punched the button and the elevator door opened. There was a giant lump in his throat the moment the elevator doors opened. A person emerged from within and Tony gripped that coffee cup and stood stiff. He became mute and just stared at the person before him.
Steve Fucking Perfect Face Rogers.
Tony gulped and tried to look away. Steve began to exit the elevator just as Tony was about to head in. Tony noticed that Steve was all ...sweaty. Tony glanced at that chest and neck. Steve stepped out of the elevator and the doors closed behind him.
The soldier approached the two and he glanced at that coffee cup. Thor looked at Tony and then he looked at Steve. Tony realized at that exact moment in front of the damn elevator of doom that he did look at Steve in a very different way. It infuriated him.
So, Tony stared awkwardly, Thor tried not to laugh, and Steve gave a confused smile. Tony felt his body melt when he saw that smile. The guy had a smile that could cure cancer or something.
"Hey Tony."
"Uhmm Hey." Tony tried not to look at him. In fact the cup got a whole lot more interesting.
"How are you?" Steve asked him as Tony froze up even more.
How was he? ERRhmm his eyes turned in Thor's direction and he cleared his throat. The room became too hot for him and he really needed to get some air. Thor looked excited as he smiled at the two. He wanted to grab them both and push them together. Thor was tired of the tension.
Tony started to put together that the team wanted to see? Them? See them together?Bruce said he had been "icy" toward Steve, Thor told him to embrace it.
TONY WAS A MESS.
"Are you doing ok? Tony? you look very warm." Steve took a step closer to Tony. The soldier showed a look of concern and he touched Tony's face.
WHAT THE FUCK. Ahhh. That had to have been the behavior that Bruce mentioned. Steve needed to stop
"Whoa Tony, hold up are you getting sick?" Steve was serious. Tony clammed up and just shook his head NO.
Yeah, he had to get away from him asap.
"Wha? No, I'm fine. Really Cap I'm good." Tony jerked away from his hand and he avoided eye contact.
"You sure?" Steve looked a bit hurt by the exchange.
"You asked to speak to Thor yesterday right? Right Thor? and oh I'm just dandy NEVER BEEN BETTER ok. Excuse me." He shoved his way around Steve and pressed the stupid button again a hundred million times.
OPEN UP OPEN UP GAHHH...
Thor frowned after the exchange between them but then he began to laugh. Mortals amused him. Tony glared wildly at the button.
"What? I never asked to speak to Thor yesterday. Tony is everything ok?" He felt Steve touch his arm. UGH Steve stood too close! And the damn archer was right. Steve always had to touch him in some way.
Barton's voice rang in Tony's ears.
"You two can't be near each other without touching or something. It's so obvious." They always had to touch, it was a dead giveaway. Oh dear. Tony had to laugh now.. Wow he was conned. Those bastards. The elevator needed to be examined. Tony made a mental note as the door finally opened.
"THAT'S. That's just great." Tony yanked his arm awwwwaaaayyyy. He hurried into the elevator and began again with his button pressing. He glared at Thor. What a LIARRR..
Steve looked at the arm that was yanked out of his hand. He didn't realize that his behavior upset Tony. Steve didn't have a clue and he was confused.
"Just great. ok BYE Captain of America you have a nice day." the door closed and he sighed. THAT'S FUCKING FANTASTIC.
Tony had no idea what happened there but he absolutely hated it. Tony stood against the wall of the elevator as he journeyed to his floor. He still held that damn coffee cup like an idiot. Steve stood still and stared at the elevator door. He was completely bewildered. He looked at Thor as the taller blonde smiled at him.
"Good morning Steven!"
"Good morning. That was a bit odd wasn't it?"
"It was odd indeed. It seems Anthony has a lot on his mind." Thor held his grin and he walked away. Steve was still bewildered but he refused to let it bother him.
He continued his morning routine and decided to bring it up to Tony when he saw him later on. Tony rubbed his face with his free hand as he walked into his workshop. Fucking really? really Thor?!
He drank the rest of his coffee as the room lit up around him. Tony resumed his work on the cybernetic leg that he gave up working on days ago.
"JARVIS keep that door locked and make sure no one comes in. I don't want to talk to anyone today."
"Sir, your workshop is secure. I will only alert you in an emergency situation. Well, unless Miss Potts uses her override function."
"Override her damn override. Tch nevermind." Tony got lost in his work and remained lost to the peak of exhaustion.
At one point he switched from coffee to single-malt scotch on the rocks.
The whole Steve thing really weighed him down for some reason. Normally, he'd just forget the comments and move on. But these were his friends and Pepper was the closest thing to a wife he'd ever manage to have.
"YO Dum-E. Get me another drink don't let the well run dry buddy come on." He said to his robotic companion. The robot turned and filled the empty glass with some more scotch. Tony watched but then his mind slipped back to where it went before.
Tony couldn't pinpoint the problem. When Pepper asked him about Steve it really annoyed him. They decided being in a relationship wouldn't work for them, but they still remained more than close.
It started to feel like he couldn't talk to anyone without them saying some crap about Steve. He heard the glass clink as if Dum-E dropped it. Tony gasped and looked at what the machine was doing.
"HEY..watch it. Give me that." Tony rolled over in his chair and got the glass of scotch for himself.
Saaa it was so hard to get service it seemed. He drank the poison down and cleared his throat. Then he placed the glass back in Dum-E's claw and gave him a second chance.
"It's your last chance buddy. Don't spill any of it or you officially become a yard tool. Ok? and if you take a look around you'll see that I don't really have a yard do I?" He continued to converse with the machine as if it were a real person.
After the machine poured his third glass Tony gave it a pat on the back. As soon as he stopped distracting himself some nagging words filled up his head.
"Maybe you woke up next to someone new that we all happen to know?"
Oh great. What made it worse was the fact that he couldn't stop thinking about it. It grated on his nerves. Tony picked another project and became immersed in his work. Dum-E kept his drink filled and he didn't even didn't acknowledge the time. He decided to stop when his eyes grew heavy and his arms grew tired.
Countless hours and single-malt glasses later..Tony was asleep at his workstation.
"Tony." He heard a deep, hoarse voice behind his head and he woke up instantly. He woke up in a panic.
He saw that figure. The figure had a voice and a face now. It was the devil personified right in front of him.
Tony wondered if he had lost his mind? Oh wait, he was drunk that's what it was. He closed his eyes and quickly opened them. There was nothing in front of him. "AH JARVIS? Is anyone else in here?" Tony's heart began to beat rapidly.
"No sir. You are completely alone."
Tony had a strong buzz going. He told himself that was the reason why he heard voices and saw a glimpse of Satan. He decided to call it quits. He shut down his work area and took the elevator to his room. He needed a shower and to go die in his bed.
When the elevator stopped at his floor he slowly walked out and headed to his room. It was dark because he was hardly ever in the place. Tony grabbed a towel and a change of clothes.
"Jarvis can you open the curtains a bit?" he asked as he rubbed on his sore neck. His body hurt all over. Tony was tense and just ached.
It sucked.
"Certainly sir. You need a bit more light in here." Hah yeah Tony knew that. He frowned and got undressed. Tony turned on his shower and stepped beneath the warm water. He closed his eyes and tried not to focus on all the different things that went on in his head. He drifted in and out and he stood in a daze.
"Sir, Captain Rogers requests permission to access your floor."
Jarvis's voice caused Tony to wake up a bit. He gasped and forced his face under the water. Steve wanted to come up? Tony had no idea what time it was.
"Is he alone?" Tony asked as he wiped the water out of his eyes. He reached for the shampoo. "Yes. He just took the elevator to his floor. Shall I grant him access to your floor sir?"
"I already gave him access to my floor. He just .." Always had to be polite and friggen knock first.
"Sir?" Jarvis was confused. (if he could get confused) well, he sounded confused.
Tony sighed and rinsed the shampoo out of his hair.
"Yeah. Let him up."
He heard nothing more from Jarvis and Tony squeezed the damn conditioner in his hand. He lathered up his hair and tried to ignore the fact that Steve was on his way to his floor.
He was pretty buzzed and thought that it was a stupid decision to grant him access. But Tony didn't care he needed to talk to him anyways. And Steve usually brought him food. Tony had gotten used to Steve doing that and on that day he decided to only consume scotch and coffee.
He finished washing his body and turned the water off. Tony watched the water drain and then he stepped out of the shower. He heard Steve in his bedroom. Tony said nothing and dried off with his towel. He put on a bulky t-shirt and some boxers then he ran the towel all over his hair.
He wasn't thinking clearly. He just ravaged the towel over his head for a minute or two. He walked into his bedroom and tossed the towel on his floor. Steve made himself at home on Tony's bed. He was dressed for sleep too and was equipped with food and what looked like drinks.
Was it more alcohol? Tony was down for that. He said nothing and walked over to his side of the bed. Steve watched his every move and there wasn't anything said between them until Tony sat beside him.
"You've been drinking.." Steve said it so calmly and Tony just laughed loudly after he said it. How the fuck did Steve know GAH it pissed him off.
"No I haven't. And what do you know anyway." hmph Tony laughed a bit and he used Steve's shoulder to support his forehead. His head felt heavy but really he wasn't that drunk!
"I can tell when you've been drinking. You have a weird sway when you move. Your steps take longer or something."
Tony playfully shrugged his shoulders and he looked at all the food he brought for him.
"This isn't alcohol. Root beer really?" Tony reached over and stole one of the drinks that Steve brought for him.
"You don't need any more alcohol. Did you eat yet?"
"Nope."
"Are you going to eat? I brought you a turkey sandwich. It's carved turkey not that sliced stuff."
Tony's lips pulled into a small smile. He stared down at the food and his stomach immediately started to call for it. He reached into the bag that Steve had propped beside him and he took out his sandwich.
Hmphh he smiled again and he took a bite. The mayo and mustard was heaven and the turkey was fucking phenomenal. Steve ate too but he wasn't as into it as Tony was. Tony decided he was definitely going to thank Steve for bringing the food up to him. Uhhh yeah he'd be doing him all sorts of favors for sure.
The root beer was a nice touch too Tony just about died when he felt the soda tingle over his tongue. He swallowed the sugary drink and took another bite of his sandwich. Steve finished first (of course) and started to clean up the mess that was made.
"So, what happened between you and Thor this morning? It felt like I walked in on something very strange."
Tony's mouth was full but he answered quickly.
"I'm too drunk to talk about it SORRY." he swallowed the bite and quickly took another one. He smiled at Steve but the man didn't smile back.
"Tony you're not that drunk. You're in that perfect in-between drunk that I kinda like." WHUT? Tony's face felt warm and he looked over at the blankets that they had kicked aside.
"You like when I'm drunk? " Tony would have never guessed. Steve laughed slightly and shook his head.
"No. I only like it when you've had a few drinks. You're a real pain in the ass when you're extremely drunk."
"Oh wow thanks. You know Steve I can stop if I want to."
"Well do you want to?"
"No."
Steve laughed and he looked away from Tony.
hahah Tony rubbed at his forehead and finished up his sandwich. He was full and the sandwich was barely halfway done. Tony noticed he had mustard all over his hands. Steve reached into the bag for napkins and started to help Tony with his mess. Tony got embarrassed because HE WAS NO BABY.
"Ay ay paws off. I got this." He said as he wrapped his sandwich back up and put it in the bag. Steve just watched as if it was entertaining him.
Every time the two made eye contact one of them would look away. Steve looked away first, the soldier thought that he was bothering Tony, and the second time Tony was the one that looked away.
He felt bad. He felt guilty because the entire day he had sulked and spun his brain to oblivion about negative shit.
"Thanks..you know for the food." Was that ICY? Tony said his thank you and then he bolted up from the bed. Steve watched Tony get up and he observed as the other took the bag of food to his mini kitchen. He couldn't help but notice Tony's exhausted looking posture.
Sure, he was a bit drunk but he was never that sluggish. Normally Tony would strut around as if on stage.
"You look stressed out Tony." He pointed out as Tony rubbed at his forehead and got back into bed.
He didn't respond to Steve. He just sat back down beside him and shrugged his shoulders in response. That was unlike Tony. Steve frowned and tried to think of what to say. All of it was new to him too. But Tony was the one looking like a train wreck because of it and Steve didn't like it.
They looked at each other. Steve smiled gently and Tony smiled back.
"Hey." Steve leaned in close and kissed Tony on the forehead.
"Yo." Tony said back. He brought Steve's face in and their lips locked in a soft kiss. It started slow and steady then gradually grew more and more intimate.
He forced Steve back a bit and debated climbing on top of him. Tony could feel his temperature heat up. He blamed the liquor. He blamed the liquor for the deep nagging pull to his chest too.
Tony pulled away from Steve's lips right when it started to feel really good. Steve was just in a daze. He wanted to go back to kissing but something obviously spooked Tony.
"About this morning, with Thor. He was trying to call me out on something. Well, he actually did call me out and I looked pretty stupid." Tony muttered out as he put some distance between himself and Steve.
He didn't want to make this too ...intimate. For some reason he was struggled with what he wanted to do.
"Wait, so now we're talking about this?" Steve teased as he pulled Tony into another kiss.
Tony's eyes were wide open because the kiss wasn't expected. He was shocked and debated pushing the guy but he instantly changed his mind. His eyes slowly closed and he impulsively moved on top of Steve. Steve grabbed at Tony's clothes and pulled him over the rest of the way.
Nothing could stop their deep kiss. Steve wouldn't allow it even if Tony acted odd. He wanted it. He could tell that Tony wanted it so what was the problem?
Steve's hands traveled around Tony's body. He broke away for breath but then immediately started kissing Tony's neck. He bit at the nape a little and it really caused Tony to warm up.
Every move that Steve made on him created a different reaction out of Tony. He was getting to know his body and Steve enjoyed doing it. When he gripped Tony's hips he felt his breath hitch against his ear. Tony almost seemed like his normal assertive self for a moment.
But then, for some reason Tony got spooked again. The smaller man moved back startled and started up a conversation for the second time.
"THEY KNOW..ok they all know. And today Thor was just messing with me." Tony touched the spot on his neck that Steve had just bit. He rubbed it as if he could still feel it being there.
In Steve's mind, It seemed like Tony really enjoyed what he did. Tony's heart beat so fast and he was clearly aroused. Steve could hear it. He used Tony's heartbeat as an indicator to move forward or hold off. Steve thought about what Tony said for a moment.
It really bothered Tony and so in turn, it bothered him.
"They all know what?"
"What do you think? They know about us."
"What about us?" He decided to play dumb because he really liked the bashful look Tony had on his face.
Steve smiled and tried to just pull Tony back into another kiss. Tony wasn't having it. He pulled away from Steve and turned his face away.
"Really? they know that we've been having sex and you're gunna just, be stupid about it?"
"Is that all it is?" Steve questioned and Tony's jaw dropped open.
Tony rolled his eyes and then looked in every other direction. Steve realized that was a really intense question to be ask.
And especially for someone like Tony. He had a reputation that didn't exactly cast him in the best light. He didn't have very good luck with long term relationships and probably had tons of meaningless ones.
So, it looked like the question scared the daylights out of Tony Stark.
The answer could be considered a deal breaker for some. Steve waited for a response. He ran his hand through Tony's messy hair in the meantime while he sorted out his thoughts.
"Is that all it is? Tch.. I. " Tony was trying to talk but apparently couldn't. Steve rose up one eyebrow and waited for him to spit it out.
"I. I dunno. Is that all it is to you?" Tony perfectly deflected the question and put it on Steve's shoulders.
So now he was stuck with the deal breaker question. But Steve being Steve he decided that honesty is the best policy.
"It's more than sex for me. I think you and I have been getting a little more intimate than we've prepared for but I want that. I want it to be more actually." He answered truthfully and Tony cleared his throat. Maybe they should just drop the subject. Steve started to feel a little uneasy about what he said.
"Wait, so what does that mean? you saying you want to date me or something?"
"I would date you. I want to date you actually. Can I date you?" Oops. Steve tried to tell a joke but Tony's face lit up with fear/anxiety/extreme fright.
"Whaaaaaa? STEVE do you have any idea what kind of pressure that is? We have barely even...They've all been hounding me about it. Every day one of them asks WHAT'S WITH YOU AND STEVE. Are you dating Steve? Why does he open doors for you? It's driving me crazy. I mean if we date and fight you'd end up hating me and I can't have you hating me. I feel like I'm going up against the entire team because they'd always pick your side and.."
"Tony, I already hated you before and we fight all the time. And don't worry I will talk to them about bothering you. I'm sorry they did that."
"But you hating me would be different if we DATED...gah you're not getting it."
"Tony STOP drowning in a glass of water. Stop damning something before it's even started.. I'm kinda crazy about you. So, how bad can it be?"
Tony looked like a deer caught in headlights. The look on his face really started to make Steve worry. Steve tried to stay positive but Tony just got lost in thought. Steve considered what he said to be a mistake but he couldn't help himself.
Before either of them could comprehend what was going on they grew closer and closer. Steve hoped for the opportunity to ask Tony out properly but now he felt like he really messed things up. His self-doubt swarmed in and he started to sit up awkwardly. When he sat up Tony moved back over to his side of the bed.
Tony just had a hard time processing. He had a hard time breathing too. The question that kept swinging around in his head was uhh...
"Why the hell would you be crazy about me?" he accidentally asked out loud and then he clasped his hands over his mouth.
Tony just didn't understand where Steve was coming from. Sure he was Tony Stark. He could list his good qualities and list even more bad qualities. He was his father's son. A business tycoon and WOW he was a superhero now so yeah everyone was supposed to be crazy about him.
But for someone like Steve?
Steve had a really sad look on his face. He frowned and looked away from Tony and he was really unsure what to say. But he had to say it. It had been a thought that nagged in the back of his head since the moment he left for his run that day. Steve thought about it all the way until he brought the sandwiches back to Tony's door.
He had to get it off his chest even if it was make or break. If it was a deal breaker Steve was content because he needed to tell him. Steve tried to bite his tongue and say nothing but he couldn't.
"Tony, I know without a doubt that I'm in love with you. Maybe this is freaking you out but I just want you to know where I stand with what's been going on."
Steve just shut up and turned his line of sight to the towel that Tony dropped over on the floor earlier. The hands that covered his mouth now covered Tony's entire face. He didn't know what to say. Tony's body was tense and his brain hurt. Tony didn't feel like he deserved to be loved by someone like Steve. He wondered if that was what it was?
He started rubbing his neck with one hand and he used the other one to chew on his thumbnail. This whole thing with Steve freaked him out. The physical part between them reminded him of another time and another place he never wanted to go back to.
Plus, there was all this stress with the team and with Pepper that he tried to ignore.
Tony decided he needed to sleep on it. Because, despite what people believed and Tony's reputation he had never been in an emotional relationship with a guy before. Sure he had some sexual encounters with..
"Maybe I should go." Steve said as he slowly stood up. Tony quickly grabbed his arm and attempted to pull him back.
"NO! no please don't leave. Don't leave ok?" He pleaded to the taller man. Steve stared down at him and he was sad to see that very confused look on Tony's face.
Steve said nothing.
"Please don't take off I.." Tony's voice dropped off as Steve sat back down beside him. His hyperactive brain was just on overload.
"I just need some time to process all of this. I need to sleep on it." Tony muttered as Steve nodded his head.
Steve couldn't really say anything in response because he wanted to take off. But he stayed for Tony. Tony remained lost in thought for a long while and he finally relaxed beside Steve. His eyes slipped closed almost immediately and Tony fell asleep.
Steve watched Tony sleep and he thought about leaving. But, for some reason he couldn't bring himself to go. He had no idea what was going on in Tony's head. Something was wrong.
Steve made a mental note to talk to everyone because what they were doing was unacceptable. The whole thing with Tony was freaked him out.
Notes: Hello all! I've had this story in my head for quite some time. I've written other stony fics but absolutely hated them. This is the story I'm interested in writing the most. Bear with me for a few chapters while I carve everything out because I'm still not entirely sure what I'll be doing with this story.
Thanks for reading! Comment if you'd like. Feedback is greatly appreciated. I'll post another chapter soon.
