Hey guys…kind of depressing and Raven is very OOC in this fanfic

Hey guys…kind of depressing and Raven is very OOC in this fanfic. Kind of based of how I was feeling…and well yeah

hey, gotta be strong gotta be strong but i'm, really hurting now that you're gone.
i thought maybe i'd do some shopping, but i couldn't get past the door and, now i don't know now i don't know if i'm, ever really gonna let you go and i, couldn't even leave my apartment.
im stripped down torn up about it.

nothing feels right when im not with you, sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choos.
taking them off cause i feel a fool, trying to dress up when im missing you.
ima step out of this lingerie, curl up in a ball with something Hanes.
in bed i lay, with nothing but your T-shirt on.
(i'm all by myself with)with nothing but your T-shirt on
ohhh, with nothing but your T-shirt on
(cause i miss you, cause i miss you) with nothing but your T-shirt on.
(said i miss you baby)

-T-Shirt by Shontelle

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

T-Shirt

tttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

Wet and moist against her pale cheek, a few tears lingered preparing for their decent to the hard wood floor of her darkened room. A faint ray of moonlight hit her delicate shivering figure. Her violet orbs were clouded by a fresh wave of tears. She hugged her pillow tighter. She had never felt more alone and perhaps more vulnerable than she did at that moment. Raven did not cry nor did she open her heart for many to see. However, the way her heart was feeling, the tears were very much merited.

Cracking, splitting down the middle, dying. Her heart ached with such a ferocious sorrow. Raven wondered if it was possible to die from a broken heart. It was crazy to think he would ever love her with the same intensity, the same fragmented view of life. It was crazy to think that he would ever see her any differently than a best friend. He had tried to feel the same way as here, but one cannot force feeling upon the heart. Especially when it belongs to another. He would never give up trying to win Terra's affection. His heart had never belonged to Raven and probably never would. Beastboy's heart would probably always belong to Terra.

He promised her he would never hurt her. Even as unintentionally as it was, he had still broken his promise. There really is no easy way to let someone down. You can't help, but to get stepped on and trampled in these situations. Raven wiped a few tears away before walking to the window. She opened it and breathed in the night's fresh air. She listened to the breeze rustle the autumn leaves in the trees. The crickets with their beautiful melodic chirps. The owls' mournful hoots. All in all it was a peaceful night. Raven sighed. She felt like everything was her fault. The thought of falling head over heels for your best friend. Preposterous. She shook her head. Mentally slapping herself. How could she be so stupid? Raven shook her head again and looked up at the night sky. The twinkling diamonds in the dark. Part of her knew she was being too harsh on herself and that her thoughts were proving her lack of faith in herself.

Raven shut the window. She wandered around her room straining to looking at the pictures pinned on her walls. She stopped at one particular picture. It was one of her and Beastboy hugging after the governor's ball. He had kept her warm on that insanely cold night. They had waited in the car for everyone to come out afterwards. Raven, although extremely cold was very tired from the evening. His shoulder had made such a comfy pillow. She shivered involuntarily. Beastboy took off his jacket and wrapped it around her bare shoulders. Raven, a bit warmer, was still cold. Beastboy gently picked her up and placed her on his lap, rubbing his arms up and down her petite body. She snuggled up against his chest.

Raven tore her eyes away from the picture. She then remembered the day she had tried to ask Aqualad out. That didn't go as well as she had planned. Beastboy had watched from afar knowing that it probably wouldn't go end well. Aqualad told her he only thought of her as a friend and nothing more. Rejection hurt. Oh boy had it hurt. She had excused herself from Aqualad and ran into the Tower, not wanting anyone to see the tears that threatened to fall. However, in the hallway she ran into Beastboy.

"Hey," He had said softly, "Are you okay?"

He tried to get her to look at him. He succeeded when she tried to nod. He wrapped his strong arms around her. That got the waterworks going. She sobbed from all the hurt and rejection she was feeling. Raven hid her teary eyes as she cried. She hated when anyone saw her cry. So far he had been the only one who had seen her cry in a long time. She vowed it would never happen again. From then on, Raven lowered her guard around him. He was her rock…her everything. She told him everything except perhaps about the day she fell for him.

Another painful memory filtered through. The first time they had kissed. She had been so nervous to tell him of her feelings so she did the only thing she could think of; she kissed him on the cheek. Raven had surprised him greatly. Ashamed she might have just ended a friendship she started to walk away, but a hand on her shoulder stopped her. She looked up at him and the distance between them closed. Their lips touched. It was breath taking, electrifying, everything a kiss should be. They had talked a little afterwards before having a full out make-out session in the corner.

Other memories seeped in. Holding hands in the dark. Steeled kisses when backs were turned. It even turned a little physical one night when she let his wandering hands go beyond her shorts. Surprisingly she had not been nervous. She tried not to cry out with pleasure as his fingers probed inside her. She bucked her hips. Both moved to that steady rhythm for a while. Then he shoved another finger insider her. It took all her strength not to scream from ecstasy. She bit his shoulder hungrily…

Raven closed her eyes tightly to shut of her mind and memories. Suddenly a song played through her head. A stupid didly that she heard while Starfire was listening to the Top 40 countdown on the radio. It was T-Shirt by Shontelle.

Raven lied back on her bed. She didn't want to go back to just being friends, but really you can't be with someone that liked someone else. It was for the best as much as she hated it. If it's meant to be it will happen, but for right now…she would have to settle for being friends. At least she wouldn't be third string anymore or competing against Terra. Sleep was starting to call to her. Letting her eyes close, she fell into a fitful sleep and held onto his t-shirt tighter.