'In nineteen ninety something-or-other, a woman disguised as a man went to Shinra for reasons I didn't explain very well. This woman promptly caused a lot of bother and thoroughly messed up the lives of many innocent Shinra employees. Today, still freaking people out, she survives as people ask me what other stuff happened. If you have a question, if no one else has asked already, and if I agree...maybe you will get, a chapter!'

*The A-Team theme music plays*

If that hasn't explained it well enough, allow me to explain. Recently, one of my favourite reviewers requested this; "can you please write a short about the time Zack found her sleeping on her head behind the television? And possibly give a reason why? I'm really, really curious about how that played out. Or what others would think..."

That gave me an idea. And as my ideas tend to do, it grew into a little story.

Thanks to AnonyMouse, if anyone wishes to find something out, all you have to do is ask! Readers of 'Anxious, Worn Out and With a Bad Concussion', if you have a request about something pertaining to the story (it can be anything, whether it's some event mentioned in passing or just a question you have that could be answered with a little chapter, maybe this one-off little story can have an extra few added chapters...just sayin'. ;)

I don't own anything, anyone or anywhere you recognise. Sapphire, along with a few others who'll crop up every now and then, are mine.

Also, as much as I wish I did, I don't own The A-Team either.

Oh, and by the way, you shouldn't read this until you've read Chapter 5 of 'Anxious, Worn Out and With a Bad Concussion', as that's where the scene is mentioned...but you might want to read up to Chapter 7, as it contains allusions to something that happens in that chapter.

To AnonyMouse, and to everyone wondering what truly happened the night Zack found Cobalt sleeping on his head, read...and be amazed!

(...Ooh, I made that sound dramatic, didn't I? :D)


I'd like to say I was an ordinary girl-actually, scratch that, and let me start again.

As much as I enjoy saying I wasn't an ordinary girl, there wasn't a day that went by when I didn't think what life would be like.

If I hadn't decided to join Shinra. If I hadn't decided that cross-dressing was the best way to make it in Midgar. If I hadn't left Mideel. If I hadn't left home.

Well, now that I think about it, if I hadn't left home I'd be dead. So it might be in my best interest to scrap that last one, there.

The thing is, two years before joining Shinra, I lost everything except my life. I unknowingly left my home and everyone I knew to die from a Shinra-related incident, and travelled for a while. I actually enjoyed those few months, even if for a part of them I was grieving horribly. But I didn't have a Gil to my name, nor a home or a single possession worth anything to anyone but myself.

My rapier may have earned me a hefty enough sum if I had sold it, now that I think back, but I never considered such a thing, not for a second; the last weapon my father made was not going to be sold only to be put on display or given to someone who didn't know the story behind it to use. Anyone who offered me a price I contentedly threatened to skewer on the end of the sharp blade; that got them running.

Travelling for what felt like years, and though I really couldn't have gone too far, was an incredible experience I didn't want to repeat. For weeks I had to swallow down my pride and beg for food from people my equal, and though more often than not people would turn their noses up and stride on by, muttering something about spending all my money on 'hair dye', there were quite a few people who frequented the area and knew I was legitimately broke and tossed a few coins onto the ground in front of me. Most of the time I gained enough to buy me a meal and rent me a cheap room for the night.

After a while of this, and refusing the occasional illegal fight clubs that were mentioned to me in passing (I was certain I would've accepted if I hadn't idolised my ex-Turk mother like I had, who was surprisingly law-abiding) I moved to Mideel. I made sure to clean myself up before, wanting to make a fresh start in the sweet little town, but I could only look so tidy after spending months crawling after Gil and then spending a day travelling on the road.

I know what you're thinking. This is all very boring and uninteresting, and I couldn't care less about your angsting about your past.

Don't worry; I left it all in the past. If I ever speak of my past now, it's either a joke or mentioned in passing. I only cry and angst now over missing popcorn when a movie's on.

But all of this was explained for a reason. My story did have a moral; albeit a meaningless one.

I don't sleep in beds.

Seriously.

I was just an ordinary girl, like anyone really, but then I spent a couple of months either on street corners or in the loft of a struggling inn, stinking of alcohol and rot, and without a bed.

The first night I spent there I didn't think twice; just curled up on the floor, cuddled my bag close to my chest and slept, sure enough. The second night was a bit of a bother, as I just couldn't find a position, but from then on only necessities were needed.

After a couple of weeks the innkeeper dragged up a dusty old mattress into the space for my use, covered in a stained light brown sheet. I pulled the sheet off, wrapped myself in it and fell asleep in my usual spot with my back against the wall.

When I moved to Mideel, having bought a small apartment in advance, I entered to a cosy little place that was more colourful than anything I'd seen in days and made me smile. The bedroom was little, could've been less than a third of the size of the loft, with a little bed and wardrobe. Only one of those pieces of furniture saw any use that night.

I can't tell you how it happened. I don't know myself to explain it to you, but I pulled the wardrobe out from the wall, killed any little apartment stowaways with a stamp of my boot, and rested against the wall behind the wardrobe, my hands in my pockets and my eyes closed to the gloom.

I woke up a few hours later by falling over on my side. To my shock, I realised that it wasn't the sleeping that had woken me, it was simply that I had fallen off-balance. I remember looking back up to where I had slumbered behind the wardrobe, and shaking my head at myself in a manner that I thought myself insane.

I felt oddly refreshed after the nap, though, and went to have a cup of tea. And after that...

Well, I don't know what to tell you. I never tried the bed, and seeing as I had such a good night's sleep behind the wardrobe, that was where I consistently returned when the sun sank too low to continue with daytime chores.

I remembered the woman who sold me the apartment once coming up to pay me a visit, and she told me that she was impressed with how tidy I kept the place. I recalled looking around at the sparse room, only containing decorations from before I arrived, and shrugging it off. There was a time I was the messiest person ever, and I couldn't tidy stuff away to save my life - why bother if I always knew where stuff was where it was?

And I remembered that thought I had, that all I had brought, everything I had in the world, they weren't things I wanted on display, even though she was the first visitor I'd had. And they weren't really appropriate decorations anyway; rapier, dagger, that sort of thing.

There was the photo, but that sort of thing would always remain on my person and never leave. Not even to be shown to others surrounded by a pretty frame.

Other than those few things, my life was fairly normal. I went out, had a laugh, had a few odd jobs around Mideel, and then I had a dream. And then SOLDIER First Class Commander Angeal Hewley knocked on my door...and the rest is history.

The first day we (we being Zack Fair the puppy, Ash Matthias the 'only' girl Cadet and Will Carmichael the Turk-wannabe) arrived at Shinra and got our apartment, I thought the place was good and spacious. I had jumped on the bed and bounced on it a little, and sat on it for a while. It wasn't the comfiest bed in the world, but it was better than anything I'd slept on in years.

My first night there was...well, I'd say weird, but that probably means very little coming from me.

I spent hours shifting uncomfortably, eventually lying with my feet on the pillow end, my hands behind my bed and staring at the ceiling. I was in pyjamas - would you believe they issued Shinra pyjamas (though they were optional) - but a woolly hat was pulled on very firmly over my head, little strands of messy blue locks sticking out beneath.

I could not get into a comfortable position, as every way I turned there was some part of my anatomy giving me bother. Also, the hat was making me itch so I was unlikely to get any sleep even if I did get comfy; and I didn't even consider taking the hat off. Zack seemed like a heavy enough sleeper, but even so, nerves would never let me relax.

After far too long a time spent in contemplation, I got to my feet and left the room, pillow and duvet under my arm, and looked around the main living area of the apartment, trying to find what would be my spot.

First and most logically, I tried the sofa - same problem as the bed. I tried across the coffee table, but it was even worse. I tried lying on the kitchen counter...and spent a brief amount of time wondering why I would do such a thing. I tried on the floor and against the wall in various different positions, which was surprisingly comfortable enough, until I decided that people tripping over me on lazy mornings were likely to develop into a problem. So then I tried standing on my head...

It solved the floor/tripping problem, that was a given, but there was the issue of not being balanced; it was probable that in the middle of the night I'd take a little tumble. Odd as it sounds, I'd found my position; it wasn't very comfortable but it was as comfy as I could ever hope to be...though I knew I'd need my helmet tonight, and every other night, so I went to fetch it.

My eyes swept across the room in search of a location for my rest, and I found a corner where two walls met. I felt my face lift in joy, and looked around carefully at the four corners of the room.

The most appropriate, free one was to my right, with nothing there to clutter it up at all; except there was a light switch on the wall. I was a short person, and will forever be one, and while I wasn't short enough to kick it with my big toe and light up the entire room, it was exactly at the level of my knee, if I was on my head. Shaking my head, I moved on.

The second one had a television in the corner, so that was out of the question.

The third one was right beside the door to the shared bathroom, so I could see that as an immediate problem.

And the fourth was in our little kitchen area, and the corner space contained a fridge. Convenient.

I first decided to go for the free corner with the light switch, and quickly decided that I didn't need to be hasty when getting into position for my sleep; my first try involved a leap onto my hands, an action which eagerly sent me into the wall and enabled me to bang my head while my arms collapsed under my body's weight.

Therefore, slowly and deliberately, the second time I rested myself on my hands and feet, completely stretched out, and crawled my way up the wall, feet going higher as my hands held me closer. It worked out absolutely fine, but it gradually became clear that this was not the place for me.

Not only did I manage to turn the light on two times before settling into a comfortable-enough position on my head, but I also felt rather exposed; a feeling I wasn't expecting. If someone entered from the bathroom or the hallway outside, they'd have a full view and be staring directly at me. Plus these were Cadet apartments, and there was a noticeable chip or hole beneath the carpet right where my head was and I began to feel quite self-conscious.

I was beginning to think this whole idea was simply a terrible idea, but I brushed that thought off and continued with my investigations. I knew I couldn't sleep in a bed, because of the helmet and its surprisingly-easy removability. Sleeping on my head meant that I'd have to be physically lifted to see what's beneath the helmet, and I thought that to be as secure as I could possibly be.

Shockingly, the next most reasonable option was to sleep on my head behind the television. I dipped my head and shook it from side to side, disbelieving that my life had gotten so desperately weird in such a short time frame, but soldiered on in the same perseverance I was hoping would get me into SOLDIER.

I pulled the TV out slightly from the wall, and stepped in carefully behind it on my tiptoes. Behind the television was some wires as you'd expect, but not near as many as I had anticipated. In fact, there was a good, clean head-sized hole right behind it in amongst the wires, so I slowly got closer to the ground and began to manoeuvre myself up into a headstand, being very cautious and ensuring that if I were to fall in any direction, it would not be forward into the TV.

I managed it, and to this day I still don't know how, but I also pulled the TV back into position. I let out a happy sigh, and shifted my position many times, to see if I could actually get comfortable.

It was unbearably strange, lying upside down and trying to get to sleep like this, but it worked. It was a bit strange at first, dealing with gravity and all being upside down, but the helmet stopped my head from being hurt by my body weight, and I wasn't dead straight, somewhat diagonal so the blood flow wasn't hindered as badly as it could've been. But despite all odds, I got myself to sleep, and woke up early in the morning with a thump as my hip bone connected jarringly with the floor.

I got myself a large bruise there, and placed deliberate care over my manoeuvres until it had faded to a light green and stopped hurting; but within that time, something that could've turned bad happened.

It was an ordinary night like any other. We watched a hilarious movie Ash had kindly brought and offered to put on (about pirates and cursed treasure and ships and a monkey, but I'm getting off track) and headed off to bed at the respectable time of ten-ish. Despite our general lack of sense, we discovered quite quickly that the best preparation for Shinra training was a good night's sleep the day before and lots and lots of sugary treats, so we generally got a quiet and good amount of sleep.

Those were just the ground rules for our apartment; this was quite clearly shown, given that Kawi (the recently-crowned Cadet joker) and his three just-as-crazy roommates were just down the hall from us, and though we didn't really have a problem with them, tension could be seen brewing from the twelve or sixteen Cadets who were unfortunate enough to get their apartment-rooms opposite or next to Kawi's.

Feigning a lazy inability to get up from the sofa after the movie from where I had sunk into the cheap but comfortable piece of furniture, I only had to wait there a few minutes for Zack, Will and Ash to head off to their beds. I had to admit, I was surprised that Zack had yet to confront me about the issue of me never seeming to sleep - he must've noticed that I never actually slept in the bed adjacent to his.

I eased myself to my feet and headed to the bathroom, carrying out my usual nightly duties. Change myself, toilet break, wash hands, splash some water on my face, brush my teeth - and the newly added action, check for any errant long locks of hair and shove them up into the helmet. I'd give myself a last look over in the mirror, and then head off to the television to settle down for the night, waiting for the morning when all the same checks would be repeated.

I was settled and dozing into unconsciousness when I thought I heard a voice from somewhere close by. It roused me just slightly, but not enough for my mind to start working properly.

A few seconds later, it happened again, and I reacted in a similar way; not at all. My half-awake state told me that it was from somewhere in the apartment, though.

And then it happened again, though this time it was loud enough for me to actually make out what the sound was. "Coby?" That was the sound of Zack's voice, and not sleepy and dreamy, but sounding alert and somewhat concerned.

I reached a hand down to rub at my eyes, but it was such a lazily-performed action that it just made me more groggy. My hand made a muffled thump as it fell onto the floor, with me being too tired to return it to its original position in my pyjama pockets.

I didn't think I remembered ever being in such a dozy state in my life, so much so I didn't even recognise the sound of bare feet tapping on the floor getting closer as a problem.

And as I was trying to return to sleep, my friend performed the rudest action I've ever been witness to, and it was on me!

At midnight, or perhaps later, on a night where we would all most assuredly have to be awake very early in the morning, my kooky friend and roommate quite simply grabbed my ankles and heaved. I wasn't sure what really happened after I felt his hands grasp my ankles - I only remembered my hands flying to keep my helmet in place - and then next thing I knew, the world was the right way up, and I was standing on the floor in front of the television, suddenly wide awake and facing a nonplussed bed-head, scratching the back of his neck and staring at me with confused, half-closed eyes.

He pointed a finger in my face, and I was surprised with how steady he was, considering his sleep-deprived state. "I expect a bar of chocolate and an explanation this night, Coby, and I will provide neither," he announced, in all seriousness, and marched to the kitchen area.

Grimacing, I could do little but follow. Rubbing my eyes as I went, I blindly managed to find the cupboard where Ash kept the ever-growing stack of chocolate bars, and retrieved a handful with my other hand before slamming the door closed and throwing the bars on the counter, on the opposite side of it to Zack.

It just goes to show that my mum was an excellent tutor; even when practically dead from lack of sleep, I still knew that Zack was a powerful and inquisitive enough enemy that I would be smart to keep some sort of wall or line of defence between us. She would be so proud.

Rubbing my eyes, and ripping open one of the wrappers, I silently and tentatively waited for Zack to begin his interrogation.

And a second later, ripping off the top of the wrapper of his own chocolate bar, he did. "Would you like to tell me why the heck I wake up in the middle of the night, realise you're not there, and then see feet and ankles sticking up behind the TV?" he questioned simply, sounding weary as he ate half the chocolate bar in one huge bite.

Meanwhile, I felt so much like a girl as I nibbled on my own. "...If I said April Fools, would you believe me?"

I was fixed with a deadpan look from the dark-haired Cadet opposite me. "For one, it turned midnight a while after I woke up. For another, I woke up a day or two ago in the middle of the night and noticed you weren't there, but fell right to sleep after. For another, it's a terrible April Fools' Day prank. Oh, and did I forget to mention, it's September?"

I frowned thoughtfully, and nodded my head in acceptance. "Yeeeah, that's a pretty well-rounded argument you have there, bud," I conceded, gave a shrug, and gnawed on a part of my chocolate bar.

Zack rolled his eyes, but said nothing for a little while. I examined him, and he gave me a look. One that said, If you stop stalling and actually answer the question, there's a chance I won't kill you. Get explaining.

Something about that expression on Zack's face unnerved me somewhat, so I started explaining. "For a few months around two years ago I did a little exploring, and lived in a place that didn't have a bed. I slept against the wall, and haven't used a bed since." Short and sweet, and with very little actual truth to it, but there you go. It was what Zack was getting.

His expression didn't change, and he simply stared at me. After a little while, I couldn't help sniggering, and that seemed to break him out of it. "...Assuming that actually makes sense - which it doesn't, but for argument's sake - why on your head?" he begged to know, his voice comically straining towards the end of his sentence as he gestured wildly to my head. The chocolate bar fell out of his hand and landed on the floor, and he stared at it with a melancholic "Awww..."

I threw another at his head, and he grabbed it, rolling a hand to indicate I should proceed with my explanation as he devoted all his attention to devour the treat. "The...only position I was comfortable in?"

He took a moment to lick at his fingers, and as my terrible explanation sunk in, he stared at me with half-closed, disbelieving eyes. "Uh-huh," he sarcastically replied. "And, what, the centre of the room was too chilly? The couch was too comfortable? The fridge was in the way? Wha-"

"That last one was actually true!" I cut in enthusiastically, glad to finally be able to defend myself in a proper way; though with the look Zack fixed me with, it was less properly and more idiotically.

He rubbed the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes, and in that moment he looked as thoughtful and intellectual as I believed I'd ever see him. With this new serious nature, I decided that I'd best get on Zack's good side as he thought through all I'd offered him, and got to my feet, picking up the half-eaten chocolate bar and putting it in the bin, along with the wrapper of his second one.

I turned back to look at him, and when I saw him staring at me with a perplexed look, I fixed him with my biggest and brightest grin. He did nothing but sigh.

And then, his tummy rumbled-loudly. He groaned wordlessly and clenched it, bending low enough over the desk to rest his forehead on the tabletop. "I had too much chocolate..." he whined a second later, muffled by the table.

An opportunity! "You know what the cure for that is?"

He looked up at me, pouting with his chin on the desk, and it was plain to see why his slowly-developing puppy-dog nickname was coming about.

I grinned, and overcoming my awkward tentativeness, grabbed his hand excitedly and confidently. "Let's go steal some chocolate from Kawi!"

The porcupine-headed Cadet let me pull him to his feet and halfway to the door as he thought, and finally declared "Okay!" and then I was the one being pulled.

After that, long story short, we received our payback in the form of an embarrassing video of our first class of 'Situation and Reaction Training', but we got a butt-load of chocolate from the secret stash he kept boasting about.

(Butt-load; approximately 475-480 litres...only in chocolate.)


Hope you guys enjoyed this! And if you have any requests yourself to see a mentioned but unexplained scene in future, or have a simple question beginning with something like "How would Sapphire react if...?" I'd be happy to answer in any way I can! Just if you have any speculations, about Sapphire or any other one of my made-up characters... It would make me happy as a clam to see what you're thinking.

Or tell me to stick to the actual story, if you think this was rubbish. Or to my schoolwork. You know. Your opinion. ;)