Updated 1/7/2011 - I didn't know where I would go with Three Preddies, so I took out all but one. We'll work it from here.


Winter Wonderland


All Ariana Suojanen had wanted was a little peace and a little quiet.

Fresh out of college, she finished her Lab Tech major in four years working part-time. Then Ariana had partied, drank a little too much in toast to her graduation into the real world, and woke up the next day with a hang over. It was time for a vacation. This was a vacation from hell, that's what it was. It hadn't even turned to hell because of her family. She'd given her father, her mother, and even her grandma all the attention they needed for the next ten years before taking off to middle-of-nowhere U.S. of A. just so she could have some peace and quiet.

Ariana grew up in Minnesota - - yes, she was "Minnesota-Nice"; yes, she owned more than one shovel; yes, she told time in miles instead of hours; and yah bet'cha she said yah bet'cha (and, God, she hated the movie Fargo). She hadn't grown up in the city - not in Minneapolis, St. Paul, or Duluth - but in a moderate sized town next to Lake Superior, the largest mass of fresh water in USA. Said town was noted to have the only stoplight in the entire county, one road leading to civilization, and one hell of a tourist problem.

The town population was comprised of old fogies, automobile building hicks, and imported city-folk. To Ariana, they rounded each other out well enough that she could stand them in controlled proportions. Her mother was an import and her father was a fogy, and when her mother broke up with her dad and married a hick, she got the best of all three worlds. Not only could she walk-the-walk and talk-the-talk like a city-slicker, but she knew how to handle a gun and run a vehicle in all sorts of weather. Fogy wise, she was rather reserved and knew when the Government was trying to pull a fast one.

Right now she felt like the universe was trying to pull a fast one.

She'd packed a turkey, a ham, fruits, vegetables, and Christmas holiday favorites for her trip to the family cabin, sixty miles north of town and just on the edge of the Boundary Waters. She was planning to spend all her time up in that winter wonderland until her money ran out. If she were lucky she might make it into summer, or as the locals called it: bug-season.

Well, Ariana had thrown her four-wheel drive Subaru into gear and hit the Trail, a road that lead to 40,000 plus lakes, and was stuck listening to the sound of slush under tires for a near hour. It was storming, and the snow was coming down hard, gray-black skies that barely cut back the snow glare. The back of her car was filled with clothes and necessities for her few months of vacation, books, movies, hunting license, gun, ice-fishing pole, goodies galore. She wasn't leaving that cabin come hell or high water.

Too bad she forgot to think of aliens.

"No, no, no, no!" she squawked at the giant humanoid standing inside the entryway as she pulled at her wet brown hair, the snow still melting on her boots. She felt like she was going insane. There couldn't be an alien in her cabin! "This is my vacation, I won't have none of it, none! Get out! You crashed your own God-damned space-ship! I won't have none of it!"

"No, no, no, no!" her own voice was thrown back at her, "This is my vacation, I won't have none of it!" The armored behemoth stepped forwards. Her first thought was to high-tail it out of there, and her second thought was to grab the thirty-thirty.

The blizzard howled behind her, the still open door clattering and allowing in the vicious stinging wind.

Ariana had arrived on time, making it vaguely 8 pm. The two mile long road that lead to the house had not been plowed, and there was already three feet of snow piled up from earlier months. Thus, she unlatched the trailer to her snowmobile and loaded her belongings onto its sled, using that vehicle as transport until she could shovel her car in. She finished the trip in twenty-odd minutes, and found herself under a massive white-pine that hovered over the house. Massive meaning it would take three people to encircle the trunk with their arms. The cabin was surrounded by acres of woods and rested above Clearwater Lake (now frozen over). All the other cabin owners had gone south to Florida for the winter, so she knew she wasn't going to be bothered by them.

That was when she noticed something… odd, to say the least.

Odd as in the yard was in smithereens with hunks of shiny silver metal scattered around a gigantic space-craft. The snow around the blast-site had melted, leaving a now icy crater. Then she'd seen the huge footprints leading to her cabin.

Now she was faced with an other-worldly creature, staring at her through a blackened visor. He (what else could it be, by the codpiece covered loincloth - - not to mention the body) deadly silent through her tantrum.

"You're not real!" she babbled on, pointing fiercely at his rippling chest. "Aliens don't exist!"

He answered with a trill, tilting his head in interest. But at her motion he also stepped forwards, corralling her back towards the still open door. Ariana took shaky steps back, her heart racing into her throat. "Stay away!" her voice hit a new shrill pitch. "You stay away from me, you fat lizard!"

He scared her, and the macabre bones over his hide did not help.

Plain colored (for an alien, at least), he had bulk and height over Ariana by a long shot. His hide had a creamy yellow underbelly, fluctuating into pale greens and mottled black-brown blotches. His space armor looked heavy, making him even larger, layering down his left arm and right shoulder. His dreads were interwoven with gold and his foremost skull was that of a human. The empty sockets stared out at Ariana, trying to take her atheist soul. His mask was harshly simple, a black visor and muzzle, nothing more.

Before Ariana could finish gawking, he raised his massive paws to his face to unlatch a hose. Air streamed out with a hiss and Ariana jumped, ready to bolt for her rifle. She was a pretty good shot, she could take them. But the horror held her in place. Frozen, she was forced to watch the unmasking. With a sickening sucking noise, the mask was free.

It was horrible, his face was all jaws and tusks without a nose, thick spines sticking all over massive heavy brows. A pair of unfathomable and indescribably intelligent eyes besought her hazel. When the mandibles pulled into something like a smile, and a deep gurgle that sounded suspiciously like "Hello," came forth, Ariana could take no more.

She screamed Holy-Mother-of-God and quickly back peddled out the door and off the decking - - right into a massive snow pile. Eerie clacks followed her over the howling wind and falling snow as she struggled to free herself and reach her vehicle. Sunk waist deep, a massive hand grabbed the back of her jacket. Ariana was out of the embankment and back inside; the screen door clattered and the inner closed. All occurred before another squeak could escape.

When Ariana was young, she hadn't been a wimp - - being a wimp in a small town was a death sentence. In high school she'd jokingly played a year of football on the boy's team (made possible because it was such a tiny high school). When she was in kindergarten she made it a point to beat up any fifth grade boy that said anything derogatory about her friends. And then somewhere in middle school, she and other nerds had covered the "what-to-do's" when the zombie apocalypse came. Only it seemed they had over prepared for the wrong invasion.

Now, the woman was paralyzed with fear, shaking in her too-large boots, and nearly pissing herself as the tall alien hauled her ass back inside. She was going to be supper, she knew it, she knew it, she knew it. Later she would be embarrassed to say she did indeed beg for her pitiful life and cry like a little girl, something she had never done before. Considering she had just recently turned 23, this was a feat.

Tall, massive, and muscled held her above the floor by the scruff of her jacket, allowing her to let the remnants of her dwindling hysteria away without another try for the door. Then it was silent once again - - broken only for sniffles.

Then slowly, carefully, she was set on her feet.

He looked at her, and she looked at him, and they studied each other for a long moment. Then finally he actually said: "Not so little… anymore," and something buried behind years of childhood, tomboyish, fantasy came rushing back. She didn't know what brought it on, the shock, or maybe just because she felt like a child looking up at him.

Ariana held her head with her hands, as if that would steer away the impending migraine. Tensely, the woman walked farther into the cabin, feeling like her legs were going to buckle under her heavy winter gear, trailing melted snow in her wake until she reached the cupboards. His silent gaze followed her cautious movements.

Earlier in the season, the cabin had been her family's deer camp, and every year they left some booze behind. This year it was gin and god did she need it right then.

The air smelt of tobacco, wood fires, and deer musk, the counter she sat down at was grainy, hand made by her Great Grandfather generations ago, worn smooth through countless years. Ariana meticulously unscrewed the cap and breathed the alarmingly strong fumes of the liquor. She managed two or three choking gulps, all of which burned her throat before setting the alcohol down.

"Uff-da," Ariana finally said. The counter flew up to meet her. She would also later deny that she had ever fainted. Fainting just wasn't done in Minnesota, not where the women were tough.


Thanks everyone for reading! This is a lighter, humorous story to counter-act my "Survival of the Fittest" Predator fan fiction that I am also working on. As you may or may not have guessed, I am from Minnesota, and I am very proud of my state. This was indeed brought on listening to Winter Wonderland at Christmas time, not that it'll have much to do with the song.

(1)Suojanen is a Finish name meaning "Son of Suojan." It is pronounced Soy-han-en.

(2)Uff-da is a saying Minnesotan's use for just about anything, a interjection for hard work or mental stress.

And that's the prolog to the story. I appreciate comments and critiques, and look forwards to receiving them!