Hello there! I wrote this quite a long time ago and I never got around to posting it. This was inspired by another fanfiction called Velvet Seduction by OffensivePhilosphy, so you should go check our their story, too!
There's Cheshire Cat x Mad Hatter if you squint.
Disclaimer: I don't own Alice In Wonderland or any of its characters.
"Alice, mad with power, has taken over Wonderland and now is destroying it, piece by piece! Poor dear, after everything she's gone through to believe we're real. Now she's tearing herself apart, making Wonderland cave in on itself, like her mind is. Now I know she was mad before, and I know we are now, but she is just truly and utterly insane. She's like a character in a book- conflicting with herself until she finally wrenches open her own throat with that Vorpal Blade of hers." Said an unknown voice coming from a newspaper with the headline, "QUEEN ALICE LOOSES LAST OF HER MIND!"
It was quiet in the dusty old library, despite the talking newspaper droning on. One whack on the table and it would quiet until needed again, and that's exactly what he did.
The man sitting in the cushioned wooden chair giggled, thinking about what the newspaper had said. "How could someone already quite insane, go even more insane? Did someone miss an afternoon tea, perhaps?" He thought aloud to himself, glancing at the newspaper with curious eyes, as if he expected an answer. The newspaper could only speak of what was written on it, and the man knew this.
"Hatter." A warm, quite affectionate, voice purred from the air as half a body to match the voice appeared in the seat across from the Mad Hatter.
"What is it you want, my dear old friend?"
The Cheshire Cat's eyes shined, whether it was playing or was angry, the Hatter couldn't tell.
"How can you sit here, in a library, while Alice remains destroying Wonderland? Might I remind you, we are the protectors of this land!"
He was definitely not being playful.
"There are others, Ches, that are to protect this land as well. You and I, Caterpillar, March Hare, the Tweedles-"
Ches cut him off, his eyes narrowed into dangerous slits. "The Caterpillar is in ill health as always, the March will probably turn on us, and the Tweedles are only boys-young boys, you can't expect help from any of them besides me." said the cat, his ears pinned back on his head.
The Hatter sighed and gave in, "I am no solider, Ches, and neither are you." The mad man said as softly as he could, hopefully they could work out a solution.
Ches looked deep in thought, his eyebrows creased and his ears back. "We could train," He started desperately, but I stopped him with a shake of my head. "Wonderland will be gone by the time either of us is completely ready...I suppose, though, I am rather excellent with a sword. If you could get your hands on one, I could wield it."
The Cheshire Cat's eyes got a little bigger and he nodded, "I can get one, don't worry." And with that, Ches vanished in his hurry to get the Hatter a sword. After the cat left, the Hatter found himself smiling and holding back giggles.
"We're going to save Wonderland."
The Hatter was in the middle of six o'clock tea when the Cheshire Cat appeared, literally, holding a long, slightly curved bladed sword of the finest material.
The Hatter blinked at the Cat and smiled, setting his tea cup down. "It's rude to appear uninvited to a party, you know." He informed Ches teasingly. The Cat rolled his eyes and set the sword down in front of Hatter. "Is this good enough?"
The Hatter ran a finger across the blade, "Smooth, sharp as the Queen's own blade. Good work, kitten. Sit, please, have a cup of tea." The hatter said as the Cat sat. Just as Ches was going ti complain about the nickname, The Hatter reached over and petted the Cat's head, rubbing his ears until he purred, which was not a long wait.
After the Hatter stopped petting his ears, the purr died down in the Cheshire Cat's chest. Clearing his throat, he said, "As for the tea, no thank you. I don't fancy tea much. I'll take the sugar cubes, though." he offered, his striped tail flicking to and fro. The Hatter chuckled and shook his head, "No, no. No tea, no sugar cubes. Now come, its already seven now, let's go find Alice, shall we?" He said as he stood, placing his small, velvet green hat on his head.
The Cheshire Cat nodded and they went on their way, walking through the blue and purple forest.
After days of searching, they had finally found Alice, camping in the middle of the sea-forest.
The two slayers, Ches and Hatter, were talking quietly in the trees, even though they were at least twenty feet from her tent.
"I don't think we should do this."
"Ches, this was your idea."
"I know but you're no match against the great Queen of Wonderland."
"You question my skill?"
"N-no...Well, yes...Just... Please, Hatter, don't. We can go find a real solider."
"No." Hatter's eyes were hard when he said this and Ches realized how brave the man really was.
The Hatter stood and started to walk past the Cheshire Cat. The Cat looked away from the Hatter, his eyes closed. The Hatter paused and smiled at him sadly, cupping the side of his face and pulling his chin towards him. "Why, Cheshire Cat, are you crying? You shouldn't be. I'm going to slay the Queen and rightfully take back Wonderland." The Cheshire Cat could only nod weakly, desperate to believe the fake hope in the Hatter's voice. His dear friend... The tears spilled over Ches' cheeks, leaving behind salty trails. He sobbed lightly as the Hatter started to walk away, and he fell to his knees as he heard the quiet whisper of his voice for maybe the last time. "Go have yourself a cup of tea."
"But Hatter," The Cheshire Cat cried, laughing slightly as tears continued to flow over his cheeks. The bottom half of his body started to turn into wisps of smoke and glitter as he tried teleporting away.
"I don't fancy tea."
Days had passed and the Cheshire Cat heard neither from the Queen or from the Hatter. He curled into a ball on the Hatter's couch, the soft glow of a warm fireplace keeping the cold house alive.
The Cat had not eaten, drank, or even move from his spot for days. He sat there with his ears back and his mind roaming. What happened to his dearest friend, the Hatter?
The Hatter, being a Guardian of Wonderland and dear friend of the Queen, had been welcomed to the tent -even though it was a giant palace inside- with open arms. He had lied to Alice, saying that his sword was protection against the Wonderlanders, and that her dear people had grown dangerous.
But really, all he needed was the time to wait.
It was dark now and the dull, unhappy moon hardly lit his path through the dark corridors. This was also an advantage for the Hatter, as he could more easily hide in the shadows.
The Hatter made his way to Alice's unguarded bedroom and pressed his ear against the door for a moment, listening. There was not a sound, not a peep. The Hatter, as quietly as possible, opened the door and raised his sword slowly. It was dark but the Queen had a few lit Light bugs around the room. Above her bed, though, there was a small window that flooded her bed with pale moonlight.
The Hatter stepped closer to her, he could see her beautiful ebony hair that was once the color of the day. Her eyes were closed, but he knew they were the richest color of green, like the sky one would say, but he thought they looked more like emeralds.
The Queen wore a simple grey silk night dress, the edges lined with the pearls from sea-elephants. It's a night gown fit for a Queen, thought Hatter, too bad it will stained with her blood.
The Hatter didn't realize how long he had observing her but her eyes opened and she stated at him. He was shocked and he pressed his sword to her throat. She watched him calmly and, with her last thread of sanity, she said, "Hatter. Please take my life, I have become a monster. Kill me, take my necklace, and become the ruler of Wonderland. I beg you."
After she said those words, her eyes turned darker, more wild. He had to do now! He bit his lip and slit Alice's-No, this was not Alice, this was the Queen's. He slit the Queen's throat swiftly and watched the dark red blood ooze out of the wound. Small, blue butterflies flew from her body as the life drained out of her eyes. as she died, her hair faded to its once beautiful golden shade and her eyes were sapphires again.
The Hatter gently took Alice's necklace, turning it in his palm. The Hatter wasn't sure what kind if metal the upside-down horseshoe was made of, but it was warm and felt like a fire.
With one more glance at Alice, he teleported away, wisps of cloud and rainbows taking him away.
The Cheshire Cat raised his head, his ears perked as he looked towards the kitchen. "H-Hatter?" He called weakly, uncurling from his spot and standing up. Rustling, the sound if plates being moved about. The Cat stepped into the kitchen and gasped, "Hatter! You're alive and well!"
"Of course. I told you I would slay the Queen, and I have. I have her bad luck charm to prove it." The Hatter smiled as he spoke. He climbed down from the table and held up the charm, snatching it back when the Cat tried to touch it. "Alice's last, dying wish was for me to become King but I'm not entirely su-"
"Nonsense! You will be wonderful King for Wonderland. As soon as they find the Queen dead, we will present the charm and you will take the throne."
The Hatter smiled and nodded, "Well, alright. After all this, I would indeed like a cup of tea."
The Cheshire Cat rolled his eyes and smiled, "Make enough for me, too.".
The Hatter glanced at his dear friend, "Of course, Ches."
"And so, Wonderland started to rebuild under the rule of the Mad Hatter, whom really was not mad at all, and his second-hand man-er, cat- Ches. The two ruled Wonderland with wits, fairness, fun, and in Ches' case, cowardice."
"Hey!"
"I'm just kidding, Ches." The man in the cushioned throne chuckled.
Wonderland was safe once more.
