By Yaoi-chan and Amish-chan
Chapter 1
OMFG, Where's The Beef!?
"…" Demyx looked left, and then right. Taking a deep breath, the young man with the sandy blonde hair extracted a manga from within his cloak, "DBZ, come to me!"
Just then, Axel happened to be walking down the halls of pure… whiteness. He was pondering… stuff. Like how the face the ENTIRE castle was white, but the head of the castle was BLACK… or Mexican… or both. Wouldn't that be racist? Wait… what was racist? Suddenly, his feet came into contact with somebody very blonde and water-obsessed and Axel fell foreword, flipping over as he did.
"EGAD!" Demyx shrieked, "I have been DISCOVERED!"
"What the hell?" Axel blinked his green orbs several times as the world spun to a slow halt, "Discovered what?
Good. So Axel didn't know. "That I read DBZ!" Um… you weren't supposed to tell him that if he didn't know, "Holy shiznit! NOW I have been discovered!"
"Um… does that manga even have a PLOT?" Axel inquired as he rolled up onto his knees, rubbing a sore spot on his head.
"YES!" Demyx grabbed the manga protectively, holding it to his chest. Then blinked several times, "Um… Axel?"
"Yes?"
"What's a plot?"
"So… what did YOU learn today?" Roxas asked. Dinnertime at the castle wasn't exactly a fun affair. For starters, it was Larxene's turn to cook, and even though she was a girl, she could NOT cook. Unless you called the frightening slop of what appeared to be gelatinized chicken broth in front of them cooking.
Of course, compared to the night before, which had been Demyx's turn, this was considered a heavenly delicacy. For someone who seemed to know what he was doing, the so-called "Melodious Nocturne" had a tendency to burn salad fifteen feet away from where he was cooking. Axel sometimes commented that Demyx would probably manage to burn ice if he tried hard enough.
"Well, I learned what a plot is!" Demyx squeed, waving his Spork around in the air; he had to use a Spork because the last time he used a fork Xigbar had lost an eye…
"Stop waving that around, you'll give Xiggy an anxiety attack, desu!" Marluxia cried nervously as he knelt under the table to put his arms around Xigbar, "Its okay Xiggy-kuuuuuun."
"Noforknoforknoforknoforknofork…" Xigbar muttered, twitching rapidly as he did so.
Roxas blinked, "I wasn't even asking you, Demyx, but… that's nice…" The tow-head cleared his throat, "So what did you do, Axel?"
"I taught Demyx what a plot was." Axel's eye twitched, "It took TWO hours, forty-five firaga spells, and a large piece of chakarams to the head, but we got there; look: Demyx. Tell Roxy what a plot is!"
"MY NAME IS NOT ROXY!"
"A plot is-" Demyx blinked several times, "Umm… wait! I know this! Wait- I- yeah, I dunno."
"BAH! DEMYX!" Axel summoned one of his chakrams and prepared to throw it across the table at the dim-witted blond. HE would have succeeded too---if Demyx hadn't let out a girlish scream and ducked under the table in a fit of panic. "GOD DAMN-Get back here!" Cue the part where Axel jumped up onto the table to chase after the inferior member, and the said member hid under Roxas' chair, making the said piece of furniture bounce up.
"WAH!" In result of his chair tipping, Roxas fell flat on his side, rolling barely in time to dodge Axel's flying weapons of fiery doom as it headed for Demyx's head.
Axel chose that time to trip over Roxas and land on top of the flaxen-tressed young man's chest. "NNNNMPH!" Axel opened emerald orbs to peer into azure ones the size of saucers- flying saucers.
"Ooooooh! Kawaii desuuuuuuu! Marluxia squealed, standing up and clapping ebony-gloved hands together briefly, his cheeks tinted pink, "Kyaaaaaa! I KNEW you two would end up together!"
Axel removed his mouth from Roxas' mouth and sat up, the younger boy horrified and Axel looking about to shit twice and die. "Guh…erm…uh…hi?" These were the most intelligent words to spew from the red-head's mouth.
"Hmmm…" Everyone in the vicinity looked up to Mansex Xemnas, whom sighed, shaking his head at poor Roxas and Axel, "I was wondering when Marluxia would begin to rub off on the other members… at least we don't have to waste money on condoms… but that still doesn't make it impossible to transmit sexual diseases… Saïx has about sixty-four.
"And counting!" Squeed the wolf.
Larxene sighed wistfully, "I'm so glad you're all gay. Now I never have to worry about getting raped by horny monkies. Stupid testosterone… I THROW ROCKS AT YOU!"
Luxord smirked. "Except we have no proof on mullet-boy." He then shrugged. "Although, he couldn't score in a monkey whore-house with a bag of bananas."
"I HEARD THAT!" Demyx screeched from across the room. "That was just as mean as calling Roxy….well….Roxy…"
"MY NAME'S NOT ROXY!" Roxas yelled from his spot on the floor, where Axel was still laying on him. "AND FOR THE LAST TIME, I'M NOT GAY! I COULD NEVER LOVE AXEL!"
Though Roxas didn't mean it as a friend (he meant yaoi-wise), Axel still seemed hurt as he lowered his gaze to the floor. "Oh." He slowly climbed off of Roxas, "Oh. I see."
Roxas blinked at his best friend and then grimaced, "I- Axel, you know I didn't mean it that way-"
"Yeah, sure." Axel snorted, grabbing the door, his head hung low, "Whatever."
"AAAAAXEL!!! ARE YOU O-KAAAAY?" Demyx shrieked as he ran after the red-tressed young man. Marluxia gaped at Roxas with a scowl.
"Roxas! That was-! OH!" Huffed the pink-tressed man, crossing his arms over his chest in a huff, "I am NEVER speaking to you EVER again!"
("There he goes again… I wonder if he had PMS." Xaldin muttered to Xigbar. His reply was: "Noforknoforknofork…")
"AH! Come on! You guys know I didn't-!" Everybody was glaring at Roxas, save for poor Xigbar ("Noforknoforknofork.") and Marluxia, who had promptly turned his back on the young man, "Jesus Christ in-! GAH! Fine! You want me to apologize? Then I WILL!"
"… say it like you mean it." Lexaeus smirked in a mean way. He gasped, ducking an expertly thrown strike raid.
"Aw, Axel, cheer up! I'm sure Roxas didn't mean what he said!" Demyx blinked a few times. "'Course, Roxy never says something without a purpose, so maybe there was something behind it, but I'm pretty sure he didn't mean anything by it!" Anything Demyx tried to say to cheer Axel up…only seemed to make him feel worse.
After a while, Axel shrugged the musician off. "Look, I know what he said, and I know what he meant. Got I memorized?" He looked away from the now confused blond. "He's my best friend after all, I think I'd know by now."
Demyx shook his head, clapping a gloved hand on his friend's shoulder. "Man, you can't make such an assumption like that."
Axel glared out of one eye at him. "What the hell are you saying?"
Demyx smiled. "Just because you're best friends doesn't mean that you know everything that he'll say or do, and what he means. It just means…that you confide in each other more than anyone else, and enjoy each other's company. I mean, frankly, you practically hate everyone in the Organization, except Roxas, and he seems to be annoyed by everyone."
"If that's the case why am I listening to you?"
"Uh……………………………………………………. silence ……………………………..I really don't know. But that's beside the point."
"You have a point?"
"Yeah!" Demyx grinned cheezily. "My point is that you can't sit there and say that you know what Roxas meant just because you're best friends, because he could be meaning something completely different, showing you a side of him you've never seen before! So keep your eyes and ears open, and don't spaz about the little things. Don't make an assumption, because you may be wrong. Maybe you just need to talk to Roxas alone and talk about it."
"…….." Axel stared, open-mouthed, at the blond. "…Dem, I have to admit, that is the smartest thing you've said to me ever since you joined the Organization."
"You really think so?" Demyx squealed, getting excited.
"Don't push it," Axel muttered, slightly annoyed already.
"Okay, den. I'll be going." The blonde smiled, leaving the room.
"That was… is he on crack?" Axel shook his head and shrugged.
"Well… whatever Demyx is taking, I'll have two of 'em." Axel looked up suddenly to see Roxas lounged against his doorframe.
"Oh. Hey." Axel picked up a pillow and hugged it to his chest, turning away from Roxas. The blonde sighed and plopped down on Axel's bed beside him.
"Look, Axe…" He ran a hand through his blonde, spiky tresses, "I… look, I meant I wouldn't love you as a boyfriend… that would be kinda weird. We're best buds… platonically."
"Yeah, platonically, right." Axel sniffed, still angsting.
"Look-" Roxas placed a gentle hand of Axel's shoulder, "I… I'm sorry." He said in barely a whisper.
Axel glanced up. Roxas had been avoiding a direct apology the entire time and now… something about that heart filled apology… turned him ON.
"You really mean that?" Axel looked up from his pillow, turning to Roxas, whom smiled warmly at his friend and nodded, "So… are we still friends?"
Roxas closed his eyes and nodded again.
"Did you really mean that you can't love me as a boyfriend."
Roxas' eyes snapped open as his heart began to beat rapidly, "Wh-what?"
"Roxas…" Axel leaned foreword, dropping the pillow and taking Roxas by the shoulders, "Do you think you'd be able to consider-?"
He was cut short as Roxas grabbed him by the back of the head and jammed his face into his, snogging him with all his might.
(Somewhere, that moment, in the castle, Marluxia squeed with joy. He picked up a flower from his indoor garden. "Mmm… love potion flowers. Get's 'em every time, desu!" )
"Woahhhhhhhh…" Axel blinked in mild shock as Roxas panted heavily, kissing him again. "Erm…"
"I love you." Roxas whispered softly, caressing Axel's cheek.
"Um, Rox, are you… okay?" Axel inquired softly, beginning to get a little freaked out by his now-horny friend.
"I've never been better…" Roxas glomped Axel. (The rest we leave to your imagination…. Owo;;)
"Good morning starshine! The world says hello!" Demyx chirped into Axel's face.
"OMGWTFD!?" Axel jumped up, looking around his suspiciously Roxas-less bed, "Hey… where did Roxas go?"
"Um, was he in here?" Demyx inquired as he quietly tuned his sitar. Axel blinked.
O.o "Um… Maaaaaaybeeeeee?" Axel said slowly hiding under his covers. Suddenly, Demmy's 'Snoop' nerves kicked in and he made an evol face.
"Hmmm? So Roxas was in here, huh?" Grinned the sandy-tressed nobody, "What exactly were you doing?"
"Um, playing… um… yatzee?" Blinked the flaming-tressed nobody in reply.
"Yeah, more like twister." Beamed Demyx and Axel turned the shade of a tomato.
"WHAT? How did you-?" Axel screamed.
"Yeah, we ALL heard you." Smiled The Melodious Nocturne, "Mansex was thinking about breaking it up, but we were all too afraid."
"About WHAT?"
… "What we may see." Demyx scowled, but then blinked several times, his scowl evanescing quickly, "But then again, Marly was allllllll for it."
"Fag." Axel spat.
"Hypocrite." Demyx beamed in reply.
"Wow. You actually said a three-syllable word." Axel chuckled.
"Well, you're a dooooche baaaaaag." Demmy smiled, "That's a seven-syllable word!"
"That's like, two, retardo!" Axel snapped, falling backwards into bed, "I wonder where Roxas went."
"Well, he won't be sitting down for a week, that's for sure." Demyx continued to smile blissfully.
"You're horrible!" Grumbled The Flurry of Dancing Flames, and then said Flurry blinked several times, "Um… you really think so?"
"Axel my friend, based on the sound-affects we heard, I'm not goanna doubt that Roxas will be even able to MOVE for a week." The sandy-tressed Nocturne sighed.
"He will…" Axel smirked sadistically to himself, "Its just going to be VERY painful."
"You Satanist."
"Did Diddy do it?"
"Huh?"
"What, you mean you don't watch South Park?" Axel blinked. Demyx shook his head slowly.
"All I watch is 'Jeopardy' and 'Wheel Of Fortune'." He blinked stupidly to himself, "And sometimes 'The Girls Next Door', but we ain't letting Larxene know that, now are we?"
"… does this mean I'm gay?" Axel sighed dejectedly. Demmy beamed like sunshine bunny marshmallow fangirls.
"Hooooo yesh, my faggot friend!" The blonde nobody pirouetted, "Now, if I was you, I'd get dressed before Roxas comes in here looking for more ACTION!"
"You are severely depraved." Grumbled the red-tressed nobody, "Now get out."
"But I wanna help pick out your clothes!"
"Well, choose any you'd like, I have five different cloaks: black, ebony, obsidian, charcoal, and raven."
"Oh… right."
"Aaaaaaooooooowwwwwh…" Roxas twitched into waking to the sound of somebody beating down his door.
"Roxas? Roxas, you in there?" Axel's muffled voice came from beyond the door.
"No, its Jessie McCartney," Spat the towhead, his voice absolutely smothered and dripping in sarcasm like a BBQ chicken, as he rolled out of bed, landing on the floor, "Jesus H Christ! It feels like I got butt-raped."
"Roxas?" Axel opened the door and looked in as the blonde rubbed his eyes.
"Yeah, what?" He grumbled in curt reply, not so happy as to being woken up so early.
"Ummm…" The redhead blinked several times, looking left, then right, and then running into the room and tackle-glomping Roxas.
"AGH! What the hell, man?" Roxas yelled. Axel blinked and sat up.
"Welllllllllllllllllllll… I was wondering if you wanted…. COUGH COUGH-" He fired one of his chakarams towards the door to slam it closed, "To like, um… go again?"
"What are you talking about?" Number thirteen shook his head, discombobulated. Axel blinked in mild shock, laughing lightly.
"Good one, Roxas. Now lets GO!" GLOMP! Roxas twitched.
"Axel, seriously! WHAT-THE-HELL?" The blonde crawled out from under the redheaded flurry of dancing flames.
"You don't mean-?" Axel whispered, his green eyes wide with hurt, "You… forgot?"
"Forgot? Forgot what?" Grumbled Roxas irately as he stood up, his legs shaking before he collapsed on his bed. Axel placed a light hand on his chest where his heart would've been.
"Ow." He whispered, a frown forming on his once cheerful face.
"What? What's the matter with you?" Roxas blinked in confusion.
"I… I gotta go." Axel turned on his heel, opening the door as he did, Roxas faintly crying after him. He rubbed constantly at jade orbs, fighting away the tears, which threatened to fall.
"Axel-kun, desu!" A feminine voice gasped. Axel winced as Marluxia grabbed him by the arm.
"WHAT?" The flame-tressed organization member spat angrily as he glared an optic death ray at the faggy flower man.
Marluxia blinked violet eyes beyond feathery pink tresses and shook away the shock, "Axel-kun! Mar-Mar has something important to tell you, desu!"
"What is it then, you fag?" Axel snarled at number eleven, feeling like a heartless hypocrite.
"Hypocrite, desu!" Marluxia chirped brightly, "Anywho, desu. Mar-Mar has something to tell Axel-kun, desu!" The man recoiled shyly, twiddling his fingers, pressing the two pointers together and turning them slightly, "Ano… Mar-Mar made a widdle mistake, desu."
"What?" Axel's jade orbs flashed dangerously.
"Ano… eto… Well, the reason Roku-kun wanted to 'get it on' with Axel-kun was because… ano… well…desu…" Marluxia began to blush, "Mar-Mar used a love potion flower on Roku-kun to make him fall in love with Axel-kun because Ruku-kun was being so meeeeeeean, desu!"
"Yeah, and-?" Axel prodded, ready to tear the faggy man to bits.
"Eto… Mar-Mar… er… used the wrong flower, desu." The pink-tressed man admitted sheepishly, "It still works- but… only at nighttime when the flower blooms, desu. It's like this: There are two different Roku's. One that remembers everything, that's the nighttime Roku. And one that doesn't remember the night, that's the daytime Roku, desu."
"Yeah, that makes sence, Marly." Axel blinked, still half confused, "Sooooooo… does that mean we can still…?"
"Make love like sea otters on crack?" Mar-Mar suggested brightly.
"Yeah…" Axel blinked.
"Hai, desu!" Marluxia nodded with cheer.
"Then I won't kick your ass." He grumbled, "In fact… let's go out and I'll buy you those shoes you want."
"SHOES!" He squeed as Axel and him traipsed through the castle.
End Chapter One!
