Summary: Kim has snuck into Drakken's lair for some quality time with her girlfriend. Drakken ruins it, as usual, and sets in place a series of rules that Shego is expected to follow. I might add another chapter in which she tries to follow the rules and Kim makes it increasingly harder to do so, but only if this wasn't a total waste like I'm thinking it is.

Disclaimer: Of course, I don't own Kim or Shego. Or Drakken. Sadly, the only thing I own is a dead sense of humor.

Make me feel better? Review?


…rattle…

Shego's enhanced hearing picked up on the disturbance in the distance, but she was far too busy to worry about what sort of trouble Dr. Drakken had once again gotten himself into.

rattle…rattle…

The rattling had grown in volume, so loud in fact that even Kim, who was busy enjoying a million soft kisses raining down on her neck and collarbone, could hear the disruptions taking place in the lab. Sensation killing her rational thought, she ignored it.

"No! No!"

Shego's light kisses followed the gentle curve of Kim's neck up to trace her jaw, loving all of the heavy exhales that slipped through swollen lips to meet her ears. Unable to resist them for any longer, the dark-haired girl brought their lips together in a series of tender kisses that left the redhead with weak knees and a fluttering tummy.

Boom!

The explosion, which was rather loud considering that it probably took place from all the way across the lair, startled the teen heroine out of her blissful ignorance. "What was that?" she asked breathlessly, regretfully pulling away from Shego's intoxicating kisses.

Clang!

Shego flinched minutely at the noise that reverberated through their lair. "Don't worry," she assured her girlfriend. "Drakken probably just screwed up on his latest invention." Threat dismissed, she turned to look into the flushed face and darkened eyes of her girlfriend and let a grin overtake her face. "You're so cute," she whispered, smiling and leaning down to brush a soft kiss against Kim's cheek, rather close to her ear; the redhead didn't fail to notice.

"Curses!"

"Don't see how," the heroine replied, rendered breathless once again as Shego continued to lavish her neck with the same gentle kisses she had been giving her since Kim had snuck in through the window nearly half an hour ago. Mind a blank, her hands came up to tangle in the unusually short ebony hair seemingly of their own accord.

Shego chuckled quietly into the redhead's ear, eliciting a full-bodied shiver. "That's 'cause you can't see yourself," the brunette whispered. Smiling to herself, she brushed a feather-light kiss against the overtly sensitive spot just behind Kim's ear, awaiting the inevitable reaction. As if on cue, the fingers tangled in her raven locks lost their hold and the older girl helplessly tilted her head farther to the side, a quiet moan escaping her. Deciding to ease off a bit, Shego abandoned the exceptionally responsive area to press a kiss against Kim's temple.

Unfocused green eyes fluttered open to survey a pair darker than her own, vision hazy, in a state similar to near-unconsciousness, breathing heavily through trembling lips. Such a state had grown into an expectation when in close proximity to her girlfriend. 'God, how does she do this to me?' the redhead wondered, raising a hand to caress the nape of Shego's neck with gentle fingertips. 'Magic. She's magic,' she answered herself, the last coherent thought before her mind went blank as Shego leaned down to kiss her again.

"Shego! Shego, I--"

Separating in such a hurry that Kim was almost knocked to the floor, they whirled in the direction of the familiarly annoying voice. Their faces grew pale at the sight of Dr. Drakken frozen in the doorway, one arm raised, mouth still hanging open.

"I--I--I would like to speak with you…" he finally finished, dumbfounded.

Kim hesitantly removed herself from Shego's embrace. Rising to her feet, face flushed in a claret tint dark enough to rival the flashing warning lights and sirens that angrily bombarded her mind, she turned worried emerald eyes to meet the darker shade of green staring back at her. She wiped suddenly sweaty palms on the thighs of her blue jeans and tried to fight off her shakes. "Yeah, so, I, uh, I'm just gonna go, 'kay?" she asked the brunette nervously.

Shego gave a small nod of acquiescence, knowing that the brainless, blue-skinned imbecile blocking the door was far too shocked to do anything about it. Kim nodded goodbye, but the movement was slightly spastic, a sure sign of her inward panicking. With a high-pitched, "See you, Drakken!" she used all her years of cheerleading expertise to execute a perfect jump and flip out of the high window she had snuck into not so long ago.

Shego let out a breath and turned to look at her evil employer. 'Ugh. What a dope.'

After a moment of unintelligently working several vowel sounds around in his mouth with much insubordination, Drakken gestured towards the door. "If you will, Shego…."

Pushing up from the couch, she made her way past the older man, sharp senses noting the heavy scent of smoke lingering in the threads of his clothing. She resisted the urge to laugh in his face at the soot that covered it and the odd new style his hair was sporting. She stopped in the open space at the end of the hallway, turning to Drakken and awaiting her lecture, though what it would consist of, she had no clue. Maybe something like, 'Shego! How dare you consort with the likes of that nefarious Possible girl! She's always out to thwart my dastardly plans of brilliance, and if you haven't noticed, in all of my millions of attempts to obtain the most favored of the worldly pleasures, she never ceases to humiliate me! Rather easily at that! I forbid you to let her into my lair! She has an easy enough time of it herself!'

'Nah, that's too articulate.'

Drakken floundered in front of her for a moment, unsure where to start. For a moment, a very long moment, Shego noticed, he stood with his arms crossed, then uncrossed them, again crossing them not a moment later. He tapped his foot impatiently, awaiting some sort of sign to tell him how to begin admonishing her for her secret philandering, especially with a person he so despised. "Look, Shego," he began, holding out his hands to keep her from speaking. "I don't mind your sexual preference, you know I don't, it is fine by all means, but these desires, is it absolutely necessary that they have to be fulfilled by KIM POSSIBLE!?"

Shego winced as his voice echoed throughout the lair.

Drakken sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. When no response was forthcoming from his employee, he continued. "At least tell me how long the two of you have been…." He let a silence follow his words, making a gesture to construe his meaning instead.

"Two months?" Shego offered apprehensively.

"Two months? Two months!" the blue-skinned doctor raged incredulously.

'Drama queen,' the brunette teen thought, rolling her eyes.

"That was about the time everything started to go horribly wrong before I even finished the plans!" he thought aloud, the wheels churning in his peculiarly brilliant-but-idiotic brain. Shego turned her head to avoid his eyes and rubbed the back of her neck, coughing as soft and inconspicuously as she could. Drakken turned accusing eyes toward her. "You! You told her about my ideas! You told her how to stop me!"

"I had to!" Shego cried, slightly ashamed. "She pouted at me!"

Drakken threw up his hands. "I don't believe it!"

Shego dropped her gaze to the tiled floor, ignoring Drakken's mutterings. 'Hey, that pout is persuasive…' she thought, huffing inwardly. 'I'd like to see him deny that pout anything!'

Finally, Drakken turned his gaze back toward the teen villainess, hands on his hips; Shego couldn't help but think that he looked rather like an upset mother. "Now, Shego, if you're to continue living in this lair, there are some rules you going to be expected to follow, especially if you expect to be allowed to continue seeing that Possible brat!"

"Hey!" Shego exclaimed irately. "That's my girlfriend you're talking about!"

Drakken sighed. "Belay that, Shego. Rules! There are rules to this lair, as there are to any housing arrangement available to a growing teenage villain!" Shego sighed, but remained silent and awaited his speech. "Alright, first…" he started, as if still thinking what the first rule should be even as he spoke. "You are not to have that girl in my lair after… nine!"

Shego gaped at him. 'He's worse than my mother!' she thought. 'But there is no way I'm putting up with that!' She crossed her arms. "Midnight."

Brow furrowed, Drakken replied, "Ten!"

The teen's eyes narrowed. "Eleven."

"Fine, eleven," he conceded, threatened by that simple act alone. "Rule number two: you will continue to battle her for me when I'm trying to get away with something devious."

'Doesn't mean I have to win,' Shego thought, inwardly shrugging. However, another idea soon came to her. 'Then again, we could always just make out for a while, and then she could kick his ass….' She grinned, nodding her head. "Sure," she replied.

"Good. Rule number three: you will not tell Kim Possible of our plans!"

'That might be a problem…' she silently admitted. Raising a hand, she begun, "Well, actually, I--"

Drakken interrupted her before she could even start to make her point clear. "Shego, I am willing to accept your… unorthodox… relationship," he said, choosing his words carefully as a precautionary action in the face of the extremely dangerous teen, noticing that she was quite sensitive when it came to speaking of the redheaded menace. "But I will not allow you to give away the key to my well-thought-out brilliance!"

"But--!"

"Shego! These rules will be followed, or I will forbid you to see that girl!"

'Like you could stop me,' the teen thought angrily, plasma raising the heat of her body as her annoyance grew. Forcing herself to calm down, she decided not to push her luck. "Okay, wait, how about this: I'll try not to tell her of your plans…."

"Shego--"

"Really, Dr. D, there's nothing I can do anything against that pout!" the teen confessed. "It's like my kryptonite! Everybody has one and she's mine! She can get anything out of me if she pouts. Anything. I swear I'll try not to tell her anything. I can't promise you that I can resist her, 'cause I can't, but I promise I won't come outright and tell her; she'll have to work for it. Okay…?" She waited tensely for his answer; there was no other alternative.

The blue-skinned man rolled his eyes. "Oh, alright."

Shego sighed, grinning inwardly once more. "Anything else, mom?"

Drakken sighed, wondering at Shego's sanity. He began to walk towards her, intent on the idea of trying to fix the lab he fried, but almost as an afterthought, he added, "Yes; your door will stay open when she's here. I will not have the two of you fornicating while you are under my roof!" He brushed past her and continued moving on.

'Oh, hell no!' the teen thought angrily.