I can't believe this is happening right now, I thought to myself. It's true. I really couldn't believe what was happening. But, before I can continue, I have to tell you how I got to this point.
So, I was coming home from a party on Friday night. Wait, that was too blunt. Let me say that again. I was sneaking in late (1:30 a.m.) from a party that I told my parents was adult supervised (it obviously wasn't) on a Friday night (technically a Saturday morning). I perfectly executed quietly opening the door and not waking my parents. But, as I tip-toed over to stairs, I barely put one sock covered foot (I took off my shoes for extra quietness) on the first step before the dining room light suddenly came on, revealing my mom and dad sitting at the table with their robes on. Shit, shit, shit, FUCK! I thought.
"Hello, William," my mom casually said before sipping out of her mug. She brought out the full name, I thought. I'm in some deep poo.
Slowly backing away from the stairs and slowly making my way to the table, I said, "Hey, mom and dad. How's things?"
"Would you please take a seat?" my father asked, completely ignoring my question. I sat down across from them. I decided to go ahead and explain myself instead of suffering the silence.
"Okay," I started, "I know there's no excuse for coming home this late, but I have one. See, I'm just gonna go ahead and tell you that the party wasn't supervised-"
"We figured since no parent in their right mind would have a party that went on so late," Mom interrupted. "But, we're not here to talk about that."
"Then why are we here?"
"We want to talk to you about something," my dad answered.
"If I'm not in trouble and you just wanted to talk, couldn't this have waited 'til morning?"
"Billy, believe me, you're still in trouble. We just want to get this out of the way first."
"Okay. What is it?"
"It's you and Teddy," my mom said.
"What about me and Teddy? Are you saying he's bad for me? We shouldn't be together? That-"
"Billy, that's not it. It's about the…sex part you and Teddy's relationship." You can't be serious, I thought.
"You can't be serious!"
"Oh, we're very serious," my dad cleared. "And would you refrain from raising your voice at us?" I lowered my head as we sat in silence for a minute. Then, I spoke when I looked back up.
"Okay. Mom. Dad. You know that Teddy and I have sex. You accept it even though we're only sixteen. I'm cool with that. You know that we do it a lot. I'm okay with that. You even buy me condoms when I need and I don't you. I'm really okay with that. But, when it comes to actually talking about the sex, I am not okay with that."
"I don't see why," my mom said. "You obviously don't try to hide it from us, and if you do, you're not doing a very good job."
"Oh my God. Fuck my life."
"Watch your language," my dad strictly corrected. "Anyway, we're not doing this do make you uncomfortable. We're doing it because it's necessary."
"No offense, but this is not necessary. And, you might be my parents, but I am refusing to talk about this. Do whatever you want." I got up and scurried over to the stairs. But, before I could head up…
"We'll make sure your six month lockdown in this house is a living hell," my mom informed me. I froze, my back still turned to them. You wouldn't do it, I thought. You're bluffing. "We will do it if we have to and we don't bluff." Fuck. I turned around.
"So, let's talk about sex."
